"It was the dewy day of the preparations for the school's Farewell party. It was going to be a bittersweet moment for all, but for me most of all. I was going to leave the accursed school forever, but in a way that everyone would remember. I didn't know if I was happy or sad at the prospect of parting from you. I think I was happy. You had hurt me enough. My time was to come. So, as per the tradition of the school, there was going to be a farewell play, and every student had to play a part. I had been chosen to play the part of a fairy! Maybe it was because of my small size, maybe it was something else. The fairy was to fly above the stage, and from this very frame where you are now dangling. Don't you see the poetic irony in that, Anay Ghosh? And it was an evil fairy, one dressed in black robes with many flowing pieces of fabric from all sides to resemble wings, that went about cursing people. It was probably a prelude to the things to come.
"But during the rehearsals, the pangs began. I had never done such a thing. And now, all eyes would be on me in my black fairy costume, flitting all over the stage. When that thought hit me, I could no longer focus. I sat on the edge of the stage, my head buried in my palms, while everyone else went on rehearsing their lines. Several minutes passed like that, and then I felt a hand on my back. I could feel the burly knobs of those fingers and a slight rubbing pressure. For a moment, I thought it was a dream, for I had never been touched like that before. I turned. And who should I see there sitting next to me on the stage floor with his knees drawn up but the hero of the play and the hero of my life himself!
"You patted my back. 'What's bothering you, bro?' you asked as if you had never done anything against me ever. I thought you had probably recanted, and I was overjoyed. In my happiness, I told you what bothered me. And then you told me the words I would remember for an eternity, 'But why do you worry? All you have to do is look at me and forget everyone else. You will do fine; don't you worry.'
"It took everything I had to control myself from grabbing and hugging you tightly. I was boosted with courage. Anay Ghosh had reassured me—my nemesis, who was also the lover of my dreams! My conflicted mind rejoiced. It saw this new turn of events as a big victory. 'But I am not sure of my lines,' somehow, I managed to say.
"At that, with a laugh you said, 'Is that all? Let's do this. After everyone leaves, come back here. Say around five-ish in the evening? Just the two of us. Let's practice our lines together.'
"Oh my God! I wanted to kiss you right there! The handsome bastard! You had called me alone after everyone left. I knew what that meant. My heart skipped a hundred beats. Don't you remember that moment?"
Anay coughed and wheezed. In halting words punctuated with a lot of groaning, he said, "I think... I think something is vaguely coming back to me. I do remember participating in a play on the school farewell day, but I don't remember rehearsing with anyone like that."
"You don't remember it but that play changed my life!" the spirit roared. "That moment when you called me alone meant the world to me. I was there at five. The auditorium was empty. The security guard asked me what I was up to and I said, 'Stage practice.' Then I waited for you, and then twenty minutes later, you appeared. Don't you remember?"
With confused eyes, Anay tried to recollect.
"You had a dress in your hand. A black dress. Just like the fairy costume I was to wear for the play. You brought it to me and looking dearly in my eyes, you said, 'Let's do this rehearsal the right way. I have even brought the costume for you.' Imagine my joy! You were doing things for me! I took the dress from you and looked for a place to change, when you said, 'No, change it right here.'
"With a wildly ticking heart, I then did just that. I got out of my shirt and trousers as you looked at me and put on that black costume. I remember being unable to think of anything else. How would I do the rehearsal with you? And when I stood there, dressed in the black costume that hugged my body tightly and had these shreds flying from all sides for wings, I was on seventh heaven.
"And then, you sniggered.
"I will never forget that. That wicked chortle, that laugh of derision, that spiteful look in your eyes. Then I realized you had been laughing all along, just hiding it in your hand. You had been laughing at my plight. That was when I felt the itch. It was inside the dress. I was aghast to discover that there was something slimy inside it. You had laced it from inside with something filthy, like tar, and mixed it with itching powder as a bonus. And when I tried to get out of that dress, from the rows of seats in the auditorium, there emerged your friends. There were six of them, all those tall boys who were my bullies. They were there and they hopped onto stage and laughed as I wriggled to get out of that tight dress which had now clung to my body. And as the laugh turned uproarious, all I could think of was how you had betrayed me. And for what? All for a bit of fun?"
Anay's head was hung low.
"Don't you remember it now?" the spirit asked.
"Yes, I do," Anay said meekly. "I remember it now. But it was all just a bit of schooltime fun. It meant nothing..."
"Didn't it?" the entity said with fury roiling beneath its blue eyes. "I ran down several floors to get away from you guys and to the washing area. I think it was the fourth-floor bathroom. I went in and tried to somehow get out of the dress. It could come out only partially. I stood under the shower then and tried to wash the slime off me. My tears and the water mixed with the black tar and clogged the drain. The stains on my skin began to clear but you know what wouldn't go? The stains on my mind. But, wait, it doesn't end there...
"When I was partly cleaned, I heard footsteps at the door. It was a man. He walked up to me as I was in the shower. I tried to step out but he stood in my path and asked, 'Who hurt you?' I didn't reply, but he said, 'Why are you running away? I just want to make friends with you.'
"And then... then he began to force me. He was big and strong and he put my hands on his body. He made me touch him everywhere. He unzipped his pants and buried my face in his stinking filth. He slapped me till I opened my mouth. And then he turned me over. He laughed all the time. Yes, he laughed like the evil villains they show in the movies when they do their evil acts and it echoed in that empty bathroom. I am telling you this, yes. I am telling you all the graphic details because you should know what happened to me because of you. That man held me on the floor and shoved his stinking cock from behind. His filthy thing had the warts of some disease on it. When I did not yield, he slapped me so hard that I saw stars. So that I would not shout, he stuffed my mouth with my own fist. My teeth dug into my flesh and those scars never went away. When he was done, he threw me on the floor like I were a ragdoll, and, then, practically sitting on my face, he said, 'If you tell anyone about this, I'll tell everyone the truth about you. And you have to be here whenever I call. Or else, you know what I shall do.'
"Oh my God!" Anay wept. "I am so sorry. I am so sorry this happened to you. But I didn't know..."
"What did you not know? Do you think you are not culpable? The way you and your friends bullied me, you think that is excusable?" Deep increased his pressure on Anay's thigh and inched upward to his crotch. He squeezed his balls till he screamed in agony. "How does that feel, motherfucker? Keep your sympathy to yourself. It is too late now. I wanted your love and you hurt me so bad. You are a part of everything that happened to me."
"This is not—AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!"
"I hope you are feeling the pain now, Anay Ghosh, for I felt it for three whole days. I was young and terrified. I did not know what to do. The third day was the farewell. I had to participate in the play. I could not back out. I did not want the school to suffer as mine was an important role. With aching body and mind, I donned the fairy costume, put on the makeup and the blue contact lenses on my eyes, and climbed up this frame, ready for my act. This same frame you are on now, you see? Don't you just love poetic irony?"
Anay looked down again and felt his world spin. The dizziness overpowered him, coupled with the floating of the spirit in front of him. His feet dangled, spit fell from his mouth directly to the depths below. A searing pain shot through his body from the ropes that held him at the ankles and wrists. The spirit would soon cut the cords and he would plummet to his death, Anay hoped.
But he went on, "After the play, I saw my molester again. He was in the audience, his eyes shining with lust. I did not know what to do. I wanted to tell you about it, for you were the only one I could think of. I came to you too, but you and your friends only laughed at me again and made some remarks about my costume. I was shattered.
"And there he was, the monster, looking at me with lustful eyes. I turned and ran out of the school compound, still in my costume. I got on my bike and sped away. He chased me on his motorbike. I could see him just behind me. I lost direction and then the only way left to me was the highway. Pausing only for a moment to think, I turned toward the highway. And, there, as you know, I was hit by a speeding truck.
"But, no sir, I did not die immediately. He dragged my runover body into a ditch by the highway. He tried to bury me, but the mud was hard and did not yield. He smashed my legs with a stone and hid me in the bushes. He probably thought I was dead but I wasn't. I stayed like that for two days, Anay. In those two days, all I thought, more than the bastard who raped me and murdered me, was about you. I thought of how callous and merciless you were, and whether you would ever even think about my death. All I wanted in my dying moments was for you to feel my presence somehow. And maybe that's what kept me back in this world."
There was a moment of solemn silence. In that moment, the being looked almost human with its downcast face, belying the notion that sorrow isn't an emotion for ghostly spirits. Also, in that moment, Anay could not feel his own pain. The sentiment of Deep's grief was so profound that his bodily pain seemed like nothing in comparison.