I wake up the next day to find tessa laying nex to me with her arms wrapped around my waist. I turn my head and gently give her a kiss. Her eyes softly flutter open and a smile appears on her face.
"Morning" she says in a sleepy voice. I pull her closer and nuzzle into her neck again giving her a hug.
"Are you ok?" She asks
"Ye. Its just been litteraly 3 years since I slept in the same bed as someone and its been 3 years since I've given someone a hug so I really needed this." She runs her fingers through my hair and nods before getting up
"Wait where are you going?"
"To get dressed. Im getting my cast off in a few hours" she sqeels. She walks over to the closet and takes my shirt off. I watch her the whole time as she changes and she puts on a pare of shorts and a loose white vest.
"What are you staring at?" She smiles
"You." I state the obvious. She walks back over to the bed and pulls me to sit up before she sits on my lap. I take a second to look at her and she looks more radiant than before.Her eyes are still the most insane colour of blue and everything about her is just beautiful.
"Can I come with you?" I can see shes still quite in shock by me being here so I wanna make sure she's comfortable with me being around.
"Ye of course.Can I come with you to look at apartments." She asks. I don't know how to take this.does she wanna move back in or does she just want to spend time with me. I need to chill out. I've only been back a day and we are taking it slow and getting to know eachother again but the new and improved version of eachother.
"Of course. I need to get dressed then because your appointments at 10 and its 9 now." I pull her off me and go to my bag to grab a new black shirt. I may have changed since i left but I will never change the fact that I wear the same black shirts and black jeans all the time.
"How do you know when my appointment is?" She questions
"Its on the Calender on the fridge" i pull my shirt out the bag and a piece of paper falls out. Tessa picks it up and opens it.
"Whats this?" She looks at me. I look at the piece of paper and its my form for suicide watch.
"Hardin,Why are you on the list for suicide watch?"
"When I left to California I started therapy and i was highly suicidal. I tried to kill myself 3 times and I was put on emergency suicide watch." Her face drops and i can see her starting to cry.
"Hey its ok.Im here now." I wipe her tears away.
"How did they stop you from doing it?" She asks
"They didnt stop me. I would probably be dead right now if people didn't find me."
"Find you where" she says her voice shaky.
"I ended up with 2 broken legs and a broken back trying to jump off a bridge but people found me and i was rushed into hospital. The 2nd time I cut myself in the middle of the forest and i would have bled to death if it wasn't for 2 teenage girls wondering in the woods. The look on there faces when they found me still won't leave my head. They were absolutely terrified but I owe my life to those 14 year old girls. They grabbed there tshirts and tied it above the cut on my wrists. They stayed with me the whole time and they stayed in the hospital with me. I became somewhat friends with them to be honest. They figured no one was coming to the hospital and I was alone when they came to visit me the next day. There names where Cara and Evelyn. There parents weren't comfortable with them visiting me at all but I could here them arguing outside my room that they wanted to stay a little longer just to make sure I was OK. The day I got released from hospital was the last day I saw both of them. The 3rd time I tried was the worst. I definelty would be dead today if I didnt find that box of photos. I had a gun. I was walking into the woods ready to do it until i stumbled on a box. I opened it and there was a bunch of photos of this couple. There were wedding photos, a ring,a locket and a charm bracelet.Thats when I thought of you.Thats when I realised I wanted that to be us.Happy." how the fuck did a piece of paper falling out of my bag turn into this. Tessa sits on the bed sobbing into her hands. I sit down next to her and give her a hug.
"Hey look at me.None of that matters now because im here and im alive."
"Would you have tried to kill yourself if i didn't leave you." Oh no. I don't want her blaming herself anymore but I cant lie to her.not anymore. I shake my head no. She gets up and leaves the room.
"Tess wait-" i knew I should have just lied. I follow after her down the hall and she walks into her old room and locks the door behind her.
"Tess please open the door. I dont want you to blame yourself for what happend. You left the because I didn't treat you how I should have but you need to remember that you were also the reason I didnt do it. She opens the door and pulls me in.She goes into the closet and pulls out a box.
"What's this?" She wipes her tears away.
"My box." She hands me the box and I open the lid. Tears threaten my eyes when I see whats inside. Photos of me and tessa are in there along with the charm bracelet I got her and my copy of 'Wuthering Heights'.
"Hardin we were that couple in that box once. We were happy. You made me happy." She moved the box and sits on my lap.
"But you changed and thats when you made me miserable and sad rather than happy. You don't know this but i also went to therapy and counselling while we were together. I never wanted to leave you and the only reason I did was because everyone i talked to about it said I needed to leave or it was only going ot get worse for me.I knrw that was true and I knew I had enough when we got in the car that night. You-
"Tess I-" she cobers my mouth with her hand.
"Let me finish. You were so out of it then. You would stare at one thing for hours and wouldnt move or say anything. You couldn't hear me it was like I wasn't even there which is what made it easier for me to leave. I honestly believed you wouldn't notice i was gone." Everything shes saying makes sense. I knew I wasn't making her happy anymore.
" i know. I didnt treat you how you should have been but that was before.I hope you know how much ive changed Tess. I would never treat you like i did before. Loosing you was enough and I never ever want to go through that again so I will do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen and you have to promise me that you will not blame yourself for what happened. I dont want you thinking about it ever." I brush the streak of hqir that fell back behind her ear. I check the time.
"Shit. We have to go." She checks her phone for the time and quickly grabs her cruches and we both head to the car to go to the hospital.
"Ugh I cant wait to get this thing off." She grins and taps on her cast. We arrive at the hospital and stay in the waiting area until Tessa's name is called.
"Theresa Young." The lady calls. Tessa gets up and we both walk down the hall into another room with a bed.
"They will be in in a minute." The nurse says before leaving. I walk over to Tessa and stand in between her legs.
"Its gonna be so much easier to do this once your cast is off.", I whisper in her ear while grazing my hand up and down the inside of her leg all the way up to the apex of her thighs.
"Not if I make it harder." She says and clamps her legs shut trapping my hand. She wraps her legs around my waist and pulls my shirt so our lips meet. Her hand moves to my hair and i slide my tounge along her bottom lip when she opens her mouth.
"Babe. Slow." I say and pull away just in time for the doctor or whoever he is to walk in. They pull out what looks like some kind of metal saw.
"Wait what are you doing?" I stop him before he does anything.
"Im taking her cast off." He says
"With that." I question him.
"Yep.Looks a bit scary I know but it doesn't go near her skin at all. I promise I won't hurt her." I look over to tess and she seems calm so I let him continue whatever he's doing. The saw thingy isn't loud at all and they cut a big line all the way from the top of her calf all the way down to her foot.Before I know it the cast is off and we are back in the car on our way to meet the real estate agent. We get out the car and he's waiting for us outside the first apartment building.
"Hi its nice to meet you both my names George. Are you too married?" He asks
"Um no.no we aren't together." He seems shocked.
"Oh thats a shame you look great together. Anyways let me show you inside." I cant stop thinking about he fact that he thinks me and Tessa look good together.I was always really self conscious and insecure about how me and Tessa looked together. We are complete polar opposites when you look at us. Shes the light and im the dark. We walk inside and i try and walk slowly because Tessa literally only just got her cast off. We walk down this hallway with brick walls and plants everywhere. It looks nice so far. We go up 2 floors in the elevator and he unlocks the door to the apartment. Its big and i actually quige like it. There's a great view of the city from up here and its a quiet area with no kids around but it doesn't really feel like somewhere I would want to live.
" i like it but its not for me." I say. The guy leads us back out and we follow him in the car about 5 minutes to another location. I like this area a lot more. There's trees and a field right outside but its still very quiet. We walk in and follow the guy down the hall to the last apartment. He opens the door and i already know this is the apartment. Its more of a Studio apartment than anything but i still really like it. The walls are white and there a leather couch with a big wooden coffee table in the middle. There's stairs leading up to another part where you put your desk and computer and stuff which is perfect for work.
"Hardin look at this." Tessa yells from another room. I go down the hall and into an outdoor area that's attached to the bedroom. There's a hotub and lanterns hanging around the small area. Its perfect. I already know this qpartment is going to be expensive but I actually have a lot of money.I worked quite a lot in California because I had nothing else to do. I did the most random jobs so I have quite a lot of money tucked away.
"I'll take it." I say to the agent.
"Great! I have the paperwork here. I had a feeling you might like this one." He says
"How would you know that?" I ask
"Well I've seen your story and you seem like the kind of guy that would live here so i figured it would be easier for you to sign now and you can move in straight away then." Shit.
"What do you mean you've seen his story" Tessa looks at him.
"Well you know his book and stuff" im gonna have to explain this to Tess. She looks at me confused and George picks up on the fact that she didn't know about the book.
"Anyway If you sign here and here rhe apartments yours."he changes the subject. He pull out his pen and i sit down and sign.
"Congratulations."he shakes my hand and leaves. That was quick. I did not expect to have an apartment that quickly and im now realising this means I have to leave Karen and Dads and move in here. Alone. Without Tessa.
"What book is he on about hardin?" Tessa sits down next to me on the table and i take a deep breath before explaining.