The assassin didn't leave his side as Yoon tended to him. Shin-ah had blacked out from the blood loss on Jae-ha's back the minute they got to the clearing in order to set up a medical tent. He would've treated him in the village, but with all the chaos and the bandits still lying paralyzed at their feet, it wasn't a good idea.
The wound was deep.
But he packed it to stop the bleeding before putting some senjusou on it, and then bandaged it securely.
He was sure that Shin-ah would be alright, but he couldn't say the same about her.
Calista had refused to let him tend to her wounds, stuck in her own bubble of grief and remorse. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, and adrenaline was still pumping through her veins. Her head flicked towards the slightest of sounds and movements, ears picking up the faintest traits in an effort to prevent what had just happened from happening again.
I should have been faster.
Jae-ha and Hak went to secure the bandits, leaving them on the outskirts of the town for the officers to deal with them. Zeno was his normal self, unaffected by the heavy atmosphere. Yona was the first one in the tent to check on Shin-ah, crowding the already full tent.
Even though he couldn't move yet, he could still hear them. He was starting to get some feeling back in his fingers, and would squeeze her hand every so often. She wouldn't react, only returning the gesture once in a while to provide some comfort for him.
And comforting it was, until he realized that she hadn't said a word in several hours.
A golden-haired boy burst into the tent. "Seiryuu, Seiryuu!! Do you know this is Zeno?!?!"
The yellow dragon pounced on him, only to be hauled back by an irritated Yoon. "Hey, Yellow, don't kick up a racket!!"
"What about his paralyzed body?" Kija asked worriedly as he entered.
With everyone in it, Calista was only vaguely aware of how cramped it was. She stroked her thumb over the back of his hand absentmindedly, aware of how selfish she was being, taking a comfort in him that wasn't willingly given.
He wasn't hers to cherish, she had nearly gotten him killed.
"It seems Shin-ah had used his powers in the past, so he should get over it soon." Yoon reassured him. He had done all he could for him, the rest was up to Shin-ah.
Her mind hadn't stopped telling her lies.
If I had just done more, not gotten caught, he wouldn't have had to use his powers. He wouldn't be in this state if it wasn't for me. He was trying to protect me.
"I see..." Kija mused thoughtfully, remembering how it was when he first started to receive training on how to properly use his dragon hand. But he had teachers to guide him, Shin-ah didn't have anyone to tell him what to do.
The fluffy squirrel by her dragon's side pushed an acorn up against his cheek, trying to get him to eat. She squeaked when he didn't move, and scampered around to the other side.
Calista didn't even notice.
He's hurt because of me. That child is dead because of me. It's all my fault.
Kija crawled closer, eyes softening as he gazed at his younger brother's mask. "Shin-ah, don't overexert yourself. Tell me if you need something and I'll do it."
"Zeno too, Zeno too!!"
He didn't pay attention to him, continuing, "It's difficult to control your dragon power if you're not using it right. If there's anything that you're at a loss about, you can consult with me. I'll listen to anything."
If she wasn't so caught up in her own turmoil, her heart would have warmed at Kija's kind words to Shin-ah, knowing he would have valued it very closely.
"Zeno too, Zeno too!!"
"All you do is fool around in battle!!" Kija lost his composure, frustratingly yelling at the unaffected yellow dragon. "You don't even use your power, do you?!"
He threw his hands up, beaming brightly. "Zeno's role is to cheer everyone up!!"
"Yellow and White over there!!!" Yoon shouted angrily, fed up with all the noise in his extremely crowded medical tent. "If you're going to cause a racket, then get out!!"
Calista flinched at his raised volume, unintentionally gripping Shin-ah's hand tighter than she meant to. Immediately, she let go, but didn't leave. Not yet.
She wanted to be with him a little longer.
"We're back." Jae-ha announced, Hak not far behind him.
He handed the dead bird he caught for their dinner to the grateful pretty boy as the sheepish white and yellow dragons filed out, the princess following after casting her friend a sympathetic look.
Hak moved the tent flap back and eyed his sister regretfully as she didn't move from her position by Shin-ah's side in order to acknowledge him. There was still blood clumped on her hands, and he couldn't see what state the rest of her body was in, vision obscured by the trademark black cloak and mask.
He glanced at Yona, but she shook her head sadly. No one had been able to get one word out of her since she filled in Yoon about Shin-ah's physical condition.
They all felt the weight. They should have been there.
Though the older ones knew that no matter if they were there or not, things might not have changed. There were a lot of things that were out of their control. The circumstances, the people, the timing. There wasn't anything that either of the two that were there could have done, but the fighter seemed to be taking it harder than anyone else.
The Thunder Beast knew his sister recognized all of the variables. It was one of the main reasons she preferred to fight alone, because with the others, they were more vulnerable to be used as leverage against her if injured.
And that certainly was what happened here, even though Shin-ah was the one who saved her this time around.
Hak sighed, leaning back. "It looks like they're holding a burial for the kid that was killed by bandits."
Calista stood up at his words, patting Shin-ah's shoulder goodbye.
Her brother stopped her. "Whoa, whoa, where do you think you're going?"
"Calista, you need to let me treat your injuries." Yoon's eyes swam with concern, narrowing when she didn't move, knowing she was adamantly refusing him. "Please, I have to look at them."
Sorry, Yoon, not this time.
She stared at them with empty grey eyes and he didn't stop her again when she moved past them.
She couldn't bring herself to tell him. To tell any of them.
How could I allow for my injuries to be healed when that child is dead? He's dead because of me. I should have been the one to be killed, not him. Not Tae-sik.
It should have been me.
Yona and Yoon trailed silently behind her, following her all the way to the vigil. They stayed a little ways away from their obviously grieving friend. None of them knew how to help her and the one who did know also knew that she wouldn't take any words of advice right now. Yona had tried to talk to her, but wasn't that successful.
When they had first reached them after arriving in the nearly deserted Hua Village, Yona had fallen to her knees. She was distraught, crying with the parents to mourn the fallen boy. He was just a child, but she also knew it was not Calista or Shin-ah's fault.
The ones who were responsible would have to deal with the general of the Fire Tribe, but somehow, that didn't ease her distress. She vowed to do everything in her power to prevent this from happening again. She vowed to grow stronger, to take control of all that she could so that no one met the same fate as him.
The fire burned bright into the night sky, pained wailing shattering any semblance of peace they had hoped to achieve when Yona and the others first went rogue.
"... Yona." She faced Yoon with watery eyes, mirroring his pained expression. "I've thought about whether or not I can multiply the senjusou."
He looked down, flashes of Shin-ah's wound at the forefront of his mind. "If I can, I might be able to heal everyone's illnesses and injuries."
Which would mean that the sick villagers would be healed, giving an opportunity for a second chance at life. The children could grow up stronger and healthier than they ever have been before, and with that new generation, things could change for the better.
Yoon shook his head solemnly, fully aware he couldn't do it yet. He lacked the knowledge. "I'll have to study more on medicine."
"... Yes." Yona responded determinedly. "I will do my best, too."
They clasped hands, set on purging the sight before them from the Fire Tribe.
On the other side of the fire, Calista took a shaky breath, gathering her courage. She had to do this.
"Excuse me, miss, sir." She knelt onto the ground and pressed her forehead to the ground. The tear-stained parents remained silent, holding onto each other as they waited. "I am so sorry."
Not just for their loss, but that she couldn't save him.
I was so close. I failed him. I've failed all of them.
She swallowed thickly, voice breaking. "I'm so sorry."
I can't bring him back. Nothing I can do will ever bring him back.
Then, when they didn't say anything, she left. They needed time, and frankly, so did she. She slipped away into the dead of night, avoiding the younger two that had come with her. Hak wasn't far away, he would escort them back.
For now, she needed to be alone.
She couldn't bring herself to face them. To tell any of them that she was the reason for Tae-sik's death.
Clenching her hands tightly by her sides, she ignored the way the crusted blood tore open, reopening the cuts that had healed. The pain reminded her of how much she didn't deserve to be alive. Not when he was dead.
How could I allow for my injuries to heal when that child is dead? He's dead because of me.
Her eyes flashed in anger as she remembered how close she was. She could still feel the tattered fabric slipping through her hands a second before his life was taken.
I could have saved him. He would be here if I was just a little faster. It's all my fault.
Tearing through the veil of the night, she fell deeper into despair without the presence of her friends to bring her back. Without the reminder that it was out of her control, and that what happened wasn't her fault.
She didn't allow anyone to break down her walls. No one could reach her even if they wanted to.
It's all my fault.
He's dead because of me.
Her heart cried out for him.
Tae-sik, I'm so sorry.
Her hands wound themselves in her hair, pulling at it viciously as she screamed in agony, at the pain she was feeling but couldn't express. Throwing herself against the ground over and over again, she pounded her fists against it. Her battered body cried out at the destruction, but she didn't stop.
She didn't even slow.
Sharp, shrieking sobs echoed through the silence and she didn't even care anymore if anyone heard her.
Falling to her knees by a creek, she splashed some of the cool water on her face, but it did nothing to quell the rage inside of her. She didn't even react as the water made contact with the open wounds on her palms, mind only registering the sting slightly through the haze of shame.
The anger blazing inside of her folded in on itself, desperately trying to keep the internal hate directed at herself under control, but it wasn't working. She couldn't even stop herself.
I'm so weak. She thought spitefully, hating herself more and more by the second. Everyone was right. I don't deserve to live.
Nothing could reach her, she was too far gone.
The sound of branches cracking usually would have had her up on her feet in a second, but she didn't even care. She couldn't find it in her to get away from the newcomer or fight back, overwhelmed by her grief and stuck in her pain.
Only when they stumbled and fell against her did she recognize who it was, the soft grunt of discomfort giving it away.
If there was one thing able to snap her out of it, it was when people were hurting.
It just so happened that this one in particular was still supposed to be paralyzed.