Sometimes you have one of those low days. the one where you feel too much. the one where you don't like talking about why you're feeling the way you're feeling. or maybe you don't like talking about it ever. because there are certain things that are always too hard to talk about. maybe because they really are or maybe because nobody ever tried to convince you otherwise. and on these days, you go through a lot of things but all of it reflects in just one - silence. these are the days when you don't talk at all. you stay quiet. and people don't notice.
sometimes these low days stay for longer than one. it stays for two days. sometimes for three. sometimes for four. sometimes for a week. maybe even for weeks. and sometimes, a month passes and you're still quiet. you still haven't spoken. people have now noticed but don't care enough to ask more than a few times or doubt the one or two words excuses you give them. you tell them it's okay. they believe you. it's easier to lie. it's easier to believe.
months have passed now but they feel like years. or has it really already been years? finally a person or two has noticed and cared enough to poke you a few times. to talk. to tell. or maybe to just say anything else. you remain quiet. because you've now practiced the art. and they never really understood your creativity. they get tired. they leave. you let them.
time passes. you stay quiet. people get used to it. because they've seen it for too long.
then one day, you start screaming. you scream and scream and scream. because you've had it for too long.
but they don't notice.
you realise they never really did.
not the first time. not the second. or the third. or many more that came after it.
and you can't help but wonder if they would notice if it was your last time.
//the first thought of the last//
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What is your first thought?