This is the thing I'm dreading for.
It was supposed to be a good day since first day together dapat namin ngayon ni Hurricane but I already have no time for him. What happened with Ansel was unexpected, we talked about it last night and I decided to just support her in her decision, making sure na whatever happens she's not alone. She'll never be. It was so hard especially for her but sometimes people were left with only one choice.
It was.. beyond painful. It felt like something inside me was taken. Siguro, iba talaga yong sakit kapag kaibigan yong nasasaktan? I wanted to share her pain.
I wasn't able to answer Hurricane's message last night because I was so busy comforting my best friend, and truth be told, Hurricane will always be second to Ansel.
But I am trying to give him what he deserve, kaya umiisip nadin ako ng paraan para makabawi. Tapos ngayon na we were supposed to spend a day together hindi pa matutuloy.
Kakagaling lamang namin ng groupmates ko sa assigned barangay, dumiretso naman kami sa pag-present ng cases and another round of quizzes. My last stop should be the hospital pero kailangan ulit bumalik sa school to meet one of our faci.
Tonight, I'm not meeting my boyfriend -- wow. In a relationship na talaga ako pero hindi ko pa ramdam sa sobrang busy. Plus, he's too busy too. I'm with my classmates, discussing the case given to us and reviewing each other nadin. Every hour, I am checking Ansel din by messaging her.
Puro practical, quizzes, cases, recits, SGD, hospital and barangay. Dito talaga iikot ang mundo ko for this sem.
This month was supposed to be exciting kahit na nakakapagod but with everything that's going on parang gusto ko nalang maging bula muna.
I think I'm not meeting Hurricane for one whole week. Kumusta naman ang girlfriend duty ko? Hindi ko ata talaga mapapanindigan to.
Busy. Won't be able to see u for one week maybe.
I read my message that I sent him kanina pa. He's not replying, I think busy din siya mag-aral. He asked kasi if mag-kikita kami tonight. First day palang na dapat enjoy muna pero nagkaka second thoughts na agad ako!
But no, if we really want this, we ought to work this out.
But how? Nakakainis. Eto ba ang advantage kapag med student and law student in a relationship? Parehas busy kaya hindi mag-hahanapan ng time? Why does it sound like a big disadvantage?
I slid my phone back in my bag before looking at William. Our book in OB. May recit na naman bukas. OB's fun also our faci but very strict kapag recitation na. Kailangan detail lagi ang answer so it is very important to have notes and discuss it in group para prepare talaga kami.
My phone pinged kaya kinuha ko ulit mula sa bag. Hindi ko napigilan mapangiti nang sa wakas nag-reply nadin siya! Guard, I am turning too soft because of this guy!
Atty. :Nag-dinner kana? San ka?
I started typing a reply bago ulit nag-focus sa inaaral ko. Hindi naman na nag-reply si Hurricane which surpisingly disappoints me. Nakakainis! Laging mag-tatanong tapos di magre-reply? Is this how it really works?
Geez!
Half an hour passed balik kami sa tanungan session. Hindi ako masyado nakiki-involve since hindi talaga ako super effective sa ganitong study habit. Sumama lamang talaga ako to help and share some of my knowledge, in return may nare retain naman sakin sa mga sinasabe din nila.
"Hey, is that Hurricane?" Janella asked habang nakatingin sa labas. Napasunod ang mata ko sa tinitignan niya. True enough, kahit likod palang kilala ko na. Chineck ko agad ang phone ko, nag-message na pala siya.
I cleared my throat; I was planning to keep our relationship discreet first but I don't think I'll succeed. I excused myself bago dahan dahang tumayo with my phone in my hand. Janella's right brow shot up, questioning yet teasing. Hindi ko nalang sila pinansin at nagtuloy-tuloy palabas.
I tried suppressing my smile but I'm too happy. Mababaw? Siguro, pero siguro ganito talaga ang pakiramdam kapag makikita mo yong taong mahalaga sayo. Ugh, why am I getting so corny?
I stood beside him, agad siyang napatingin at biglang ngumiti. Malamlam ang mga mata bago lumapit at halkan ang noo ko. He always does that.
"Hey,"
"Hi. Why are you here?"
He shrugged, "I told you, I'll make time right?"
I can't help but frown. "I felt bad."
He chuckles before pulling me to his embrace. I'm not a touchy or clingy person but I really love the feeling of his warmth. It always feels home.
"Don't be. I really want to see you." Then he heaved a sigh, "How's your day?" he asked in whisper, pressing his cheek against the side of my head and slightly swaying us together. We look like a fool, I guess, para sa ibang nakakakita.
But Hurricane doesn't give a damn, and clearly I really don't care too.
Siguro kami yong couple na laging walang pakielam sa iba. We want our relationship discreet para wala masyadong tanong pero at the same time wala din naman kaming pake sa comment ng iba.
I told him about Ansel. He pulled from his hug to listen intently, checking my reaction if I am okay, and I wanna scold myself nang gusto kong ibalik ang yakap niya! Am I being clingy now? Guard.
Para kasing nagcha charge yong pakiramdam sa yakap niya tapos hindi pa full biglang aalisin. Nailing nalang ako sa mga naiisip ko bago tinuloy ang pagkekwento. It's not really detailed. Mabilis lang natapos kaya siya naman ang tinanong ko.
May napapansin talaga ako noon pa, pero kitang kita na ngayon kaya di ko mapigilan di punain habang naimik siya.
"Hurricane your eyebags were already big." I pointed out.
"Wala di lang ako sanay mag-puyat."
My brows furrowed, "Dba lagi tayong nag-pupuyat simula last sem?"
He closed his eyes like he got caught, "Tsk, crush kasi kita. I just wanted to be with you."
Goodness, this guy! Is he real?
"Okay? Wag ka na mag-puyat ngayon."
This time he frowned. "No. I prefer being with you than sleeping."
"Hurricane!"
"I'm hungry." Pag-iiba niya sa usapan but very effective.
"So di ka pa nakain?"
"Hindi pa."
"C'mon, let's eat."
His right brow arched, parang di naniniwala, "You have group study tonight dba?"
I rolled my eyes. Why can't he just take advantage of my offer? "Tonight's an exception." I deadpanned before turning my back.
"Jan tayo kakain?"
I tilted my head to look at him, "No. I'll just get my bag." Walang matinong makakain sa Tim's. He needs a proper dinner. Yong may rice.
Nakita ko siyang napangiti at bago pa siya makaimik agad na akong pumasok sa coffeeshop. Abang na abang yong mukha ng mga kaklase ko. My face remained impassive as I reached for my bag.
"I'll be back after an hour."
"Naks! Iba na talaga pag lumalove life!" Maddie teased.
"May pa one hour break ang mayora." Janellas laughed.
Nailing nalang ako pagkakuha ng bag saka lumabas. Hurricane's still smiling like a kid na first time igagala sa mall. He's such a child!
"Sa malapit nalang tayo," he offered, motioning the nearest fast food. Tumango lamang ako.
He reached for my hand, napatingin ako sa kanya na nakatingin lamang sa unahan pero may maliit na ngiti sa mga labi. I rolled my eyes, smiling. He keeps asking if I am really okay now that Ansel dropped out. Hindi ko alam ano ba ang gusto niyang marinig sakin, na hindi ako okay? Tsk. Hindi pa ako super comfortable maging emotional sa kanya.
"I'll visit her naman pag free ako."
"Sama ako."
My brow arched, "Why?"
He frowned, "Ayaw mo'ko isama?"
"Para kang bata."
"Sama ako ha."
"Kapag tayo pa."
Bigla siyang napalayo sakin at napaharap ng deretso kaya napatigil din ako! Geez, ilang steps nalang nasa may fast food na kami!
"Why?"
"Ang nega mo. Masama yan."
I rolled my eyes at him, stifling a chuckle. Parang bata kasi! "I'm just being open to possibilities,"
"Wala pa tayong one week super open mo na sa break-up." He put his other hand on his chest.
"Baliw."
"Sayo."
"Yuck! Please, Hurricane."
He laughed out loud before we continued walking; from time to time he keeps on pressing my hand gently, swirling his thumb on mine. He's the one who ordered, I took a photo of him habang nakatalikod at nakapila. Saktong harap niya, sakto din na naibaba ko na ang phone.
"Bakit isa lang ang float?" I asked nang ibaba niya ang order namin. One crew helped him.
He showed me two straws, wiggling his brows. Ilang beses ba mapapaikot ang mata ko kay Hurricane?
"You're too corny for you own good, no?"
"Oy, sweet kaya. Napanood ko to sa Kdrama."
"Nanonood kang Kdrama?"
"Pag nanonood kapatid ko."
"Si Light? Dba she hates Kdrama?"
He cleared his throat bago inalis yong cap ng float at nilagay ang dalawang straw. "And coke's bad for your health. Kaya simula ngayon magshe share lang tayo sa isang coke."
"Doctor ka na niyan?"
He smirked, "No. Boyfriend mo lang."
I only arched my right brow at him, he chuckles with that.
"But I want float of my own. Kulang sakin yan."
"Puro kape ka'na. Your diet's really unhealthy."
"Minsan lang ako mag-coke. Buy me another one, Cane."
"No. We'll share. From now on let's focus on your health."
"Omg. Bakit kita sinagot?"
Agad niya akong tinignan ng masama kaya napatawa ako. Nakita ko kung pano niya pilit pinipigilan hindi ngumiti. Isa yon sa napapansin ko sa kanya, kapag tumatawa ako lagi siyang napapangiti kahit kapag inis siya. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba super rare ko lang tumawa before kaya ganyan lagi yong reaction niya or what.
But one thing's for sure. Ang controlling niya! I hate to be controlled.
"Seriously, I hate it when someone's telling me what to do and what not."
He heaved a sigh. "I'm not controlling you babe, okay sorry. Concerned lang ako. I've been observing you. Laging unhealthy foods kinakain mo. I don't want my girlfriend sick."
Is this how it feels like kapag may boyfriend na?
No one's observing my diet. It feels like there's a warm hand caressing my heart at what he just said.
"Have you ever watched Popoy and Basha?" I asked.
Agad siyang sumimangot, "No. I won't control you. I'll let you eat even my chicken's skin." Then he sighed. "Okay fine. I'll order coke." He said before standing up pero agad ko siyang pinigilan.
"No, I wanna experience this corny thing."
I said with my eyes on the coke. I can't look at him! Nahihiya ako sa sinabe ko, I can feel my cheeks burning! Nilagay ko ang float sa gitna namin. Pagka silip ko sa kanya nakangiti lang siya sakin. I crinkled my nose. Trying to feign nonchalance.
I get what he's trying to do na. He's not depriving me naman, most days naman kung ano yong gusto kong pagkain yon ang nasusunod talaga sa kanya. And I realized na he has a point.
Baka bago ako maka-graduate ng med school may sakit na ako.
Our dinner went well. He keeps on telling me about the memes he reads and other funny stuff. Minsan napapatawa ako minsan inaapakan ko nalang siya sa ilalim ng mesa sa sobrang corny niya.
"Oh, do you remember Bella?"
My face returned to its stolid state, "No. Who's she?"
"Elementary. Bella, yong muse natin."
"What's with her?"
"She's getting married. She invited me."
"Nagkaka chat kayo?"
He blinked at my sudden question. Like he got caught off guard, then he shook his head lightly. "No, nakasalubong namin kanina."
"And you still remember her?"
He smiled proudly, "Siya yong top 1 sa crush ko noon."
Minsan hindi ko alam kung may idea ba siya pano maging boyfriend! I shot him a look--yong kalma lang pero may laman kaya biglang nawala yong ngiti niya at napa-ayos ng upo. He cleared his throat before he leaned sipping on his straw.
Then he looked up to me, "Hehe, past is past baby."
"Don't tell me may iba ka pang crush na babae ngayon?"
He straightened up, "No. I got my eyes only for you."
"Huh. You have a sweet tongue."
"I swear, you're the only girl in my eyes."
"So lahat ng tao dito ngayon except sakin lalaki sa mata mo?"
He rolled his eyes before laughing. Tinuon niya yong siko niya sa table, his jaw's on his hand. "You're too jealous." He said smiling.
"No. I'm just making sure. You can crush on any girl if you want." I shot back before getting the float on the table. My face remained emotionless.
"Babe, you should know one thing."
My eyes remained on him without replying.
He smiled at me, "Yong nag-iisa kong crush, girlfriend ko na."
Tumango lamang ako bago tinuloy ang pag-kagat sa burger.
"I am contented with you. You should know that."
This time hindi ko an napigilan ang maliit na ngiti na lumabas sa labi ko. I cleared my throat before looking away. "Dapat lang."
He laughed at my reply. When he recovered he reached for the float I am holding. Ayan, kulang tuloy samin! Paubos na yong float.
But I got bothered. Sobrang selosa ko ba? Guard!
"Hey, am I hard?"
He almost choke on my question, then he coughed. "Ha? Meron ka ba non?"
Sabe na nga ba! He's too literal! Ang sarap niya iuntog talaga minsan! Guard, what did I got myself into?
Agad niyang iniwas yong paa niya nang apakan ko ulit siya sa ilalim ng mesa. Tuwang tuwa na naman si Hurricane. Jusko.
"Baby, you should complete your question!" he said laughing.
"Seryoso kasi! I am hard to deal with, no?"
This time nag-seryoso na siya. "No. And if ever you're out of control already," he stopped when I gave him a glare, ngumiti lang siya. "Seriously, don't think too much. I'm here to stay."
When we're heading back to Tim's panay lang nang kuha ng video ko si Hurricane. Hindi niya sinasama yong sarili niya. Lagi ko tuloy tinatakpan yong camera pero nang makitang masaya talaga siya don hinayaan ko na lamang.
"Are you free sa Saturday?"
"Yeah. I think so."
Sa Sunday pa naman ako pupunta kay Ansel. It means kailangan ko mag advance study talaga hanggang Friday para free ang weekend ko.
"Why?"
"My friends wants to meet you."
I tried not to look shock. His friends? Omg, yong nakasama din namin before sa LIT?
"They knew already?"
He smiled, "They saw my wallpaper." He shrugged.
"Fine."
There's no point delaying it but I am silently hoping wag matuloy. Okay! I'm such a bad girlfriend for thinking that way!
When we reached Tim's he pressed my hand gently, "Can I wait for you?"
"Why?"
He shrugged, "I just want to be sure you're home safe."
"I'll text you nalang."
May aaralin din naman siya and clearly he needs rest. "I'll wait in your car."
He won't give this up, would he? I heaved a sigh before giving him my key fob. Agad siyang napangiti ng malawak bago ulit humalik sa noo ko.
"You're the best, doc."
Geez. Why can't I resist him?