Hi, I'm alive.
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A day later you were finally allowed to walk around, you were assured that the first order won't find were you were anymore, but it didn't stop the uncontrollable worry and anxiety that sweeps through your body everytime you think of it.
Kylo had explained almost everything clearly, how he planned everything once he arrived at the resistance.
He knew that you'd one day come for him so he had to make a plan for that as well, you didn't say anything to him anymore and simply asked what he was planning to do with Palpatine.
"End him," He simply says. "And I'm hoping to do it alone."
At that moment you felt utterly useless, if he didn't want you to help him then what will you do? If he didn't what you to help him then who?
"I said alone, Y/n." Kylo clears out, "I'm not planning to take Rey with me, it's too dangerous if she comes with, Palpatine's blood still runs through her veins."
"It's rude to read my mind without permission." You scowled at him but it was obvious that you were more embarrassed about the fact that he knows that you were jealous.
"I didn't, It was written all over your face." He smiled, you didn't say anything, no comebacks this time.
You just accepted the fact that he knew you too well.
Too much.
----
"Rey."
"Y/n."
You both stared at each other blankly, it was the first time you're seeing her in person.
"You're not going to let him go alone are you?" She says.
"Of course I'm not." You immediately replied.
"Yes, of course she's not." Vicrul rolls his eyes behind you. "If she was then we probably got a clone."
You glared at him and he held up both of his hands as a sign of his surrender.
"I can't follow him alone... Will you help me?"
"Now I'm helping you?" Rey raises her eyebrows. "Why should I?"
"... Because I'm asking for it?" You said hesitantly. "And I'm definitely going to die if I go alone."
"Yah! You won't go alone, I'll still go with you remember?" Vicrul adds in.
"We're both going to die if we go alone." You corrected yourself, "I'm also dying anyways so just think of this as your farewell thingy for me."
Rey let's out a sigh. "Fine, I was planning to follow him as well anyways."
You raised your eyebrows at her.
"Come on, we both know that no matter how powerful or ready he is, it's possible that he'll kill himself in the process."
"That's... Very true." Vicrul muttered.
----
That night, Kylo announces that he'll go in the morning.
"What?!" The three of you exclaimed loudly.
"Finn and Poe aren't back yet, they'll be the one to bring you there remember?" Rey reasoned.
"I think you forgot that I am very capable of flying my own ship." Kylo furrowed his eyebrows at her.
"But are you even--"
"I'm going, and that's final." He said with a firm voice. You shared a look with Rey, your plan just fell apart right before you.
Without Poe and Finn giving him a ride you won't be able to follow safely.
"You're still so selfish." You frowned.
"And what part of this selfish?" Kylo questioned in return.
"Everything!" You raised your voice. "You're going alone! What about me? I might never be able to get back home, I'm going to die any day--"
"Y/n--" you ignored him and continued.
"What about Rey? Doesn't she get to fight? She worked hard for this as well didn't she? And Vicrul? He risked his life to make sure your plan all works out and..." You let a sob escape your lips, you could feel the throbbing in your head but the pain in your chest drowned it away.
"I hate you." You said weakly, looking down to avoid his eyes.
"I'll wait then," he finally says with a softer voice, "...and I'll take Rey with me?"
He asked as if he was asking for your confirmation.
You gave him a nod, you felt his hand on your shoulders before he walked away.
"Oh thank god that worked." You looked up after a few moments.
"You're a lunatic." Vicrul gasps.
"Did he just go all soft on you?" Rey says, shocked. "I was sure he was about to kill us all."
"I was ready to have my head separated from my neck." Vicrul agrees with Rey.
"Good acting, woman."
----
You were laying on your bed, hoping to catch some sleep but your thoughts kept you awake, you thought about how you haven't talked properly with Kylo since you came here, and a proper talk means no one mentioning about what they were going to do.
You sat up from your bed, if you needed a proper talk you're going to get one.
As you walked towards Kylo's door, it suddenly opened. "Holy shit, you scared me."
"Why are you here?" He asked, you just shrugged.
"I can't sleep." He looked at you for a moment before opening the door wider for you to get in, after he closed the door, you immediately engulfed him in a hug.
"Why are you suddenly like this?" You felt the vibration in his chest as he spoke, "Ever since you came back all I heard was--"
"Are you really going to be affected by those? I was honestly waiting for you to fight back but it never came." You mumbled, "You changed so much.."
He sighed before pulling you away. "Come on."
You laid on the bed beside him and put your head on top of his chest, Kylo studied you, how your got a little bit thinner, your lips were paler and yet... It still seemed like stars shined in your eyes.
"Y/n?" He called, "I'm.. I'm glad I have you back."
You smiled at him. "Me too, so don't leave me again, hmm?"
"As long as you do the same."
You let out a chuckle. "I like this."
"Like what?"
"Soft and calm Kylo, Grumpy and Short tempered Kylo was good too but with this you're just a big teddy bear."
"I'm not." He scowled, "I was the supreme leader of the fi-"
"Grumpy and short tempered Kylo is back I guess." You teased, his face softened. "Aaaand, soft and calm Kylo returned."
"How are you still so positive even if you're..." He trailed off, not knowing if it was right to continue.
"I'm not going to die, atleast not now. I'm definitely not going to die because my body was too weak for my own abilities." You shook you head.
"Then how do you want to...die?"
"A heroic end would be nice." You joked.
"If you're planning to follow me, don't."
"Who says I was going to follow you?"
Kylo gave you a look, you sighed and nodded, it grew silent again, and this time you didn't bother to initiate another conversation.
"I wish we can stay like this forever." Kylo mumbled, heard drumming inside his chest. "But I guess tonight is all we can have."
"For now." You immediately added, trying to be optimistic.
Kylo nodded, agreeing with you. "For now."
You both knew that this might be one of the last moments you'll have together, everyone knew that, your own body is slowly giving up on you and Kylo was going off to a possible suicide mission.
But for now this was enough.
Each others warmth was enough.
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Here's a chapter with 1k words, I'm really sorry for the wait. I was just a bit busy with stuff. I hope I can return to updating regularly soon! Thank you for still reading!