Sage
TWO PEOPLE BREAKING UP WHO LOVE EACH OTHER
What logic is that? I've spent so much energy and poured so much of myself into this relationship. Dealing with every tormenting second of a life I wasn't meant to have but was forced into adjusting too. Now, I'm being dumped because I just needed one second to breathe and walk, instead of dashing towards the next step.
"Fuck you." I say out loud. "You don't get to decide that, fuck you."
Greyson stands there, unwavering in the biggest decision of our relationship. One that I was yet again, not a part of. How did I say all of those things and he decided that we needed to end this? He's even going so far as to say that I'll possibly find someone else. What madness is this?
Bianca stood down the hall, I'm not sure why I even let her up here in the first place. I guess when you walk out of a wedding, even the last person you'd want to be around seems like the next best thing.
I wipe away the stray tears, holding back the urge to collapse onto the ground and cry my heart out. "We're not breaking up and you can't tell me otherwise, let me be included for once."
"Sage, I'm not happy with this either but if we stay together we will end up back here again." Greyson explains, shrugging off his jacket. "I refuse to watch us both go through this twice."
I shake my head. "It won't happen again, I know it won't."
"How can you be so sure!?" He growls. "This morning I thought that by now we'd be at the airport on our way to the honeymoon, but you get there and allow Bianca to get into your head. How can I trust you when I have the knowledge that you easily doubted us, that you were so overwhelmed that you ran out on me? You ran out on me!"
That hurt. "It wasn't because I don't want to be with you!"
"What's the point Sage? Staying with me is the same as if we were married, the only difference is a fucking ring and some papers!" He shouts, rubbing the temples of his head. "I'm still keeping Scarlett and I'll be focused on work...I can try to make all the time in the world for you...but someone your age needs more nurturing and time."
I scoff. "Don't tell me what I need."
"You literally just told me this, don't go back on what you said because you don't want to break up." He sits down. "Honestly, I'm not discussing this anymore, I won't change your mind."
That's when I snapped. "Stop choosing things for me!"
"This isn't for you." Greyson looks up at me, his eyes filled with emptiness. "I can no longer think about me, Scarlett needs stability and if my own girlfriend will walk out on me...then I can't shake the concern that you'll just leave if we continue on."
The world stopped.
I've lost his trust in me, he doubts me and I hurt him in an unimaginable way. I don't regret what I did because he's right if we would've gotten married I would've gotten overwhelmed and left. Breaking up with him is the last thing I want to do but I'll have to share his attention for the rest of our lives. I'll never truly have him to myself and right now I'm selfish, I don't want to share.
I sat down next to him. "What if you..."
"Like fucking hell I'll ever move on." He chuckles. "I don't love just anyone, Sage."
My nose started to sting. "You'll go back to your old ways."
"I'm a father now, I can't be that man anymore."
We looked into each others eyes. "What will I do without you?"
"Live." He pulls me in and holds me tight. "Just without me dictating your next move."
I cried into his already soaked shirt. "I love you."
"Love doesn't describe what I feel for you, Sage." He rubs my back. "There's nothing in this world that can."
**********
After I packed most of my things, Greyson and Gideon helped carry them to my dads car. There was only complete silence, not even one comment. Hudson brought Scarlett home, but she was asleep and we all thought it was best not to wake her up. Greyson said he'd figure something out and explain to her what's happening without worrying her.
The girl is smart, I'm sure whatever he'll say she'll figure out something is wrong.
"Don't be a stranger." Richard opens his arms for a hug. "This won't be our last meeting between one another, my dear."
I walk towards him and wrap myself around his torso. "Hopefully not, whose going to make me laugh like you do?"
"Not a damn soul, there's many people in the world but only one of me." He kisses the top of my head. "I'm sorry it had to come to this but this isn't for forever, it's just one last obstacle to overcome before your happily ever after."
I nod my head and take a breath. "Again, I hope so."
"All right, everything is packed up." Gideon interrupts.
We back away from each other and I sigh. "Okay."
"You're gonna' talk to the old bastard for us right?" Gideon asks Richard. "I'd hate for him to threaten us and go through this all again."
Richard grabs his shoulder. "I don't quite like you so just know I'm not doing this for anyone but my son, and this wonderful girl right here. If Andrew Emerson threatens you I will make sure it has no effect on any of you, that is my word."
"I don't like you either, in fact she's probably going to hate me for this but I'll pray every day that we never meet again." Gideon informs him. "No offense, I just want her to stress about important things, not the bullshit you guys deal with."
Richard chuckles. "Sage is no ordinary girl, if you continue to perceive her differently she'll vanish from your life. And trust me, coming from someone who is losing her, the feeling is quite dreadful."
"Richard." I start crying again.
He smiles but his eyes were slightly watery. "It's been a long time since I've felt happiness, since all of us truly felt it. Replacing you is not an option so hurry and come back to us soon, my dear."
I hug him one more time and quickly back away, the urge to stay was becoming more increasingly difficult to fight off.
Hudson was next to the car with Greyson, who was in plain clothes and completely devoid of emotion. I wanted to comfort him and tell him everything was going to be alright but I knew it wasn't going to be. Not for a long time, all this means is I have to do what he says and take it day by day.
"Can't say I won't miss you." Hudson smiles at me. "Though it's redundant, Grey is a walking Drake album. He'll be in a car one day listening to one of those tracks about exes and end up in front of your house."
I giggle. "Thank you."
"Take care alright?" Hudson gives me a quick hug and walks away, leaving Greyson and I alone.
The final and hardest goodbye of the hour, one that I wish didn't have to happen. We both stood in silence for what felt like an eternity. I know he felt just as bad as I did and we know as soon as the first word is spoken, it's truly over.
Saying goodbye to everyone was horrible, but to say it to him will be a turmoil I'm not ready to face.
"I've got to say one thing, before I say...goodbye." Greyson smiles at me. "I take back what I said about finding another man, if you do, tell him to fuck off because even though we're not together. You're still mine."
I nudge him. "That's toxic, Greyson."
"I'm a toxic man then." He kisses my forehead. "Go experience life, Sage. Just know I'm not looking for anyone to replace you, I'll be waiting right here when you're ready. In the meantime please don't make me have to relocate any guys who try to take you from me."
I smile back at him. "Doubt there's another man who can annoy me like you do."
"As long as you know it."
There was a pause.
Then, "Goodbye, Sage."
"Goodbye, Greyson."
We both kissed for the last time, it was quick and simple but as soon as we parted I had to run inside the car. The last thing I needed him to see me do was cry the way I was going to, I can tell he was holding his composure for as long as he could.
My dad started the car without saying a word, Gideon remained silent as well.
I couldn't fight it anymore and turned my head to look at him one more time as we drove away. The image destroyed me as I watched Greyson watch from afar, he started to walk and then right as we made the first turn he ran.
Before I yelled for them to stop the car, I turned away and curled up into a ball.
Goodbye my love.