M A D I E
November Twenty-Third
Four
The voice of the sea is seductive;
never ceasing, whispering, clamoring, murmuring,
inviting the soul to wander.
-The Awakening, Kate Chopin
—
I didn't turn around.
Heavy breathing, tingling limbs, soft brown eyes turned hard and eager—they were all things that were making it difficult to actually move.
But mostly, I needed to search Bren's face and ask him a silent question first. Because if I turned around, and he walked away from me again like yesterday, I didn't think I could handle it. I needed him to be sure.
It had been hard to sleep this morning after the conversation with Bren yesterday. My brain kept wanting to slip into memories of that night with Quinton, wanting to dissect it for more evidence of the truth that I now knew. How had I been so blind? It always came back to that.
I wrestled with it. Was it a symptom of my weakness? Or did it just mean that my strengths lie elsewhere, and they were stronger for my lack of sight?
Ultimately, I fought off the rising waters that threatened to drown me again. Because I refused to let Quinton take away my ability to swim free. And I refused to let him take Bren from me. Bren, who was giving me back control. I was never going to be able to change what happened between Quinton and I. But my future with Bren was at my fingertips.
I just needed to turn around.
Bren's lips twitched while I watched him. He gave a silent, reassuring nod. And I decided that was enough for me.
I spun in his arms, and Bren crushed us together as soon as I'd flipped around. And then we were kissing. I wasn't sure who kissed who. It was an instant entanglement of lips and tongue.
Refusing to release each other, we tripped over our feet in a stumbling approach to the massive bed. Our movement stopped when Bren's heels ran into the end of the mattress, and I broke away from his lips reluctantly. But only so I could explore the rest of him like he'd done to me.
Bren's breath hitched as I pressed my mouth to his neck, my tongue dancing across his skin as I kissed a path down his body. He kept a hand on the back of my head as I went, his fingers lightly playing with my hair in absentminded twists and twirls.
Kissing the expanse of his chest was achingly intimate. His breathing was so harsh, his heartbeat so rapid. And I felt it all.
I brushed my hands down his sides before flattening them on his abs. He tensed beneath my touch. And I felt it all.
Dropping to my knees, I hooked my grip into Bren's shorts and slid them down. And then I brushed my lips over the deep-v that ran from his hip toward his erection. My breath fanned over his skin and the muscles and veins it concealed. Heat radiated from his body. And I felt it all.
Bren continued to play with my hair, keeping his touch feather-light as I explored him with my mouth. But he groaned, and I glanced up to see him watching me, his other hand fisted in his hair.
Good. This was payback, after all.
I hovered my open mouth over the tip of his dick, wondering if he would want it bad enough to jerk his hips forward into what I was offering.
Bren just shook his head and took a ragged breath. "You're something else, Madeline."
"Did you want it?"
He dragged his hand down his face, exhaling. His expression was tortured. "I can't believe I'm saying this...but no."
I raised a brow. I was surprised, but I didn't let myself feel hurt. I knew Bren still wanted me.
He released my hair, curling a hand beneath my arm instead. Bren urged me to stand, so I did, leaning into him. Unable to help myself, I pressed my lips to his, loving the way he instantly opened for me, swiping his tongue against mine with a moan.
But then Bren pulled back again. "I want you in a different way," he said gruffly.
He rocked his hips against mine to make it clear what he meant, his hardness grazing just above where I wanted him the most. I grabbed onto Bren tighter, lost in desire for the millionth time today already. God, yes. I wanted him that way, too. Bren paused, his smile cocking to one side. "And I'm not willing to test my stamina right now."
Laughing, I pushed him onto the bed. He continued to grin as he scooted backward and fell into the pillows. One arm curled behind his head, propping it up as he looked down the length of his body at me.
And what a body it was. His muscles visibly twisted beneath tanned skin as he settled in the sheets, his tousled hair messy just like I liked it, his unashamed erection—I took all of it in as he waited for me to climb on top of him. And as if that wasn't enough, his grin morphed into a cocky smirk as he caught me checking him out. He chuckled softly. "I feel the same way about you, babe."
The best part about it was I knew it was true. I'd never felt more desired than when I was with him, and it did weird, crazy things to my confidence. There was a part of me I didn't know I'd buried so deep. But somehow, Bren had seen glimpses of it and pulled it to the surface.
His fixed stare darkened as I dropped onto the bed, straddling his body. Crawling upward, I let my lace-covered breasts drag over him and occasionally left a kiss along the way. Bren bit his lip, intent on watching me. But to be honest, everything I did was more for me than him. I wasn't able to get over how much each touch affected him. Maybe that made me selfish, but I reveled in each tiny reaction.
I didn't think it was a secret that he'd been doing the same earlier in the bathroom, though. So I certainly wasn't going to waste time feeling bad about it.
As I inched closer, I paused to study him. Bren tipped his head to the side, watching me back. And it was at that moment that I became acutely aware of everything Bren was to me. The whole thing made me speechless. And yet, I had to say something.
"Bren," I breathed. "I—"
The words didn't come. I floundered.
A faint smile ghosted his lips. "It's okay. I know, baby."
"You do?"
Everything about his expression softened. "Some feelings are strong enough that they don't need words, Madie. Remember?"
"Yes," I breathed. How could I forget? How could I forget that night when Bren made me feel more deserving of love with a single look than any number of words had ever accomplished. I smoothed my palms over his chest, straddling his hips now. It was hard to find my voice, but somehow I managed a tender murmur. "And that's how I feel about you, Bren."
He propped himself up on his elbows. His long, dark lashes shaded his eyes for a moment before he blinked up to reveal a burning gaze. He pressed a fierce, hungry kiss to my lips, startling me a bit with the intensity. But I eagerly returned it until Bren's lips turned gentler, and they slid off mine, hovering over them. His voice became soft and low. "There are condoms in the bedside table drawer."
Shivers of anticipation crawled across my skin at his words, and I leaned over his body so I could dig through the table's drawer. Just as my fingers curled around the small package, Bren's tongue began to play with my nipple through my lacy bra.
I froze, whimpering at the furtive caresses, letting him continue what he was doing.
But it wasn't enough.
"Take it off," I urged, gasping.
Bren's hands wound around me, palms sliding up my bare back. Before long, I felt the release of tension, my breasts falling free from the lingerie. He lifted my arms out of the straps. There was a noise as the bra hit something—the window? And then Bren resumed what he'd been doing, except now the lace was no longer in his way.
I moaned his name, letting myself savor the talents of his mouth for another moment before reluctantly pulling back, sitting in his lap.
"Condoms in the drawer, huh?" I said, trying to tease him though my voice was breathy, betraying me. "Someone was sure of themselves."
I thought Bren might laugh at that, but he didn't. He was too transfixed on my hands as I rolled the condom on, smoothing down over him. I gripped his base firmly, and Bren thrust upward with a groan. He was so hard, so hot. Just looking at him made me pulse with longing. I didn't want to just long for him anymore.
Hovering above him, I teased his tip like he did to me yesterday. But I didn't have the patience to do it for long. Bren's glimmery eyes met mine as I slowly lowered onto him, and he finally answered me by breathing, "It was never going to be just a kiss with us, baby."
And then his eagerness broke through. He jerked upward, burying himself deep within me. I cried out at the intense jolt of pleasure, the feeling of being unbelievably full.
Bren grabbed at my hips, his fingers digging in. Steadying me or steadying him—I wasn't sure. "Sorry," he rasped. "I couldn't help it. I just want you so fucking much. For so damn long, Madie."
I couldn't say much in reply, still reeling from the feel of him inside me. But Bren was waiting for my response, for me to take control. I wiggled my hips, swirling them so I could feel every inch of him. I groaned. He groaned.
And then I needed more.
"Do it again."
"God, yes."
Bren thrust into me at the same time I slammed my hips down, and then we did it again. And again—lost to a new rhythm. At some point, I threw my head back, and Bren let me take over completely, keeping his hands there but giving all the movement over to me.
I probably wouldn't have noticed, but Bren moaned, "Ride me, Madie." I rolled my head back to look at him, and his drunken gaze found mine. His lips were parted and a little tilted as he encouraged me.
I rode him, sliding up and down. Steady but so unstable. Bren tried to keep me within sight. But then I'd throw myself down harder, and he'd roll his eyes back into his head, his fingers digging into my hips. He clenched his jaw before grunting lowly. "Fuck, baby. You feel amazing."
He began to run his hands up my stomach instead, his fingers covering my breasts as I continued to roll my hips over his. Every rocking motion stroked my burning insides hotter. He just felt so fucking good. "Oh god, Bren."
I wasn't going to survive this fall.
Bren abruptly dropped his hands. "Kiss me," he demanded.
Without a second thought, I obeyed, dropping down to capture his lips with mine. I filled his mouth with my cries because the sudden change of position created unbearable friction against my clit. And with three more desperate pumps of my hips, I pulled at Bren's hair and gasped my release against his lips.
"Good girl." He kissed me harder, taking every breath of my orgasm from me.
Breaking from Bren's mouth, I collapsed onto his chest, suddenly exhausted. We were unmoving for a moment. But then Bren wrapped his arms around my back, holding me close as he began to thrust lazily into me. It was a slow rock, a sway of sorts. We ground together like the bed was our own private dance floor. It occurred to me then that Bren's stamina was more than passing the test.
I lifted my head and found myself looking at pure tenderness. And it was sweet.
But I wanted raw.
Finding the curve of his neck, I grazed my lips over the salty skin there. A light dusting of sweat covered Bren. Hot bursts of sun hit my back from the rays streaming through the windows, and I knew my whole face was likely flushed. Heat filled the room. Fever filled in our chests. And my need for him rekindled. It was hard not to catch a flame from a fire, after all.
I tugged his earlobe between my teeth and whispered, "Take me, Bren."
He swore harshly as he slid his hands to my hips, his fingers splaying onto my ass. Apparently, it had been just what he'd needed to hear. Bren began pumping into me in rapid successions, somehow still finding unknown depths with each upward jerk of his hips. I kept my head tucked into the curve of his neck, my fingers gripping the pillows on either side of his head.
"Shit, Madie." Bren's voice was strained, tangled in desire.
He was losing control.
But I was letting him.
I wasn't riding him anymore.
But hell, I was along for the ride.
"Yes, baby," I encouraged him, breathing in his ear.
Something uncontrollable was spreading within me again. And it burned. I couldn't help but whimper along with each hard thrust.
"Madie, look at me," he suddenly gasped.
I pulled back, finding him. We didn't kiss. But our parted lips hovered over each other, exchanging rough breaths. The eye contact was palpable. Our bodies joined.
"Come with me," Bren pleaded, his brown eyes glowing. Sunlight caressed the side of his face, bringing out hazel flecks.
As if I had a choice.
It hit me first, harder than before. I hadn't been ready; I wasn't ready for Bren to come into my life and expose me. But here I was, naked and shaking in his arms, living for me and loving him.
And then Bren followed me with one final rock of his hips. Giving me one final push, like he always did. It was a raw exclamation that fell from his lips. A combination of my name and a slew of swear words.
For the second time that morning, I collapsed onto him. My head fell against the pillow beside him. I could feel his heartbeat in my chest as we lay there and let our breathing slow. After a minute or two, Bren began to stroke my back with his fingertips.
"Madie?" he whispered.
I felt his hand move to cradle the back of my head.
"I'm here," I whispered back. I slid off of him, and Bren made a throaty noise at the feeling of his dick leaving my body.
I tumbled into the sheets next to him.
"You okay?" he asked.
Laughter bubbled up, escaping me. I was clearly delirious. I peeked up at his handsome face. "Bren, it's like ten o'clock, and I've already had three orgasms."
His handsome face became devilishly handsome. He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "Sounds like you need to rest up, then."
"Mm." My eyelids fluttered, little flashes of Bren, bright sun, blue ocean, and white sheets coming and going as I fought off drowsiness.
I heard Bren's light laugh. And then I felt his lips grazing my ear. "You're unbelievable. In all the best of ways." He kissed my hair. "Sleep, baby."
After nestling further into the pillow, I flung my arm out, finding Bren's waist. I nearly mumbled a request for him not to leave me, desperately wanting him to stay by my side.
But then I realized.
He wasn't going to.
Bren Hadaway wasn't going anywhere.
—
November Twenty-Third
Five
She was becoming herself,
casting aside that fictitious self
which we assume like a garment.
-The Awakening, Kate Chopin
🖤
Well, I've gotta be honest with you. I'm glad to get this scene written and out of my head. It's awkward during dinner conversations when your characters pop into your head and start screwing around. Kinda distracting.
But anyway, hope you liked it!
I recently made a new writing Pinterest, just so I could collect some IBWU images (and procrastinate other things) If you're interested, check it out!
Bren & Madie Pinterest Board: https://pin.it/5NRKSxf
I also have a writing Spotify. Music has definitely been an inspiration while writing this story. If you want, you can check out the IBWU playlist. Uh, you can probably guess which songs I listened to the most during this scene.
Okay, I'll just tell you. I particularly loved on the song *shivers*.
Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Q5De7bEnnYb69XaK5Jh7H?si=Mvn7r7_7Rimc7jht_K02rQ
Ya'll are the best.
xoxo amelie