There were a lot of things that has been running in my mind and let me start with the question, 'How did it end up this way?' Because honestly, I don't even know. It may have been because of the heat of the moment, the physiological reaction craps that I have been telling myself about or probably because were healthy, warm-blooded teenagers and it's probably our hormones working. But I just can't get the reasons right; I just know that at this moment, I'm kissing the ace of the political science's football team and the subject of my dreams. And I know this spells nothing but trouble – for my racing heart.
The beating of my heart was a drum, it's deafening and its making my guts turn – in a good way. It's lost and the only map that could probably bring it back is the sound of his heart. It's making my mind full of nothing but Bright as a kid, him now and everything that is happening. This time.
'Aish, damn it!' I cursed my shameless self as I pull back from him. I felt hot, hotter than I ever felt before – even if the A/C was functioning well. I really want to take my shirt off. To add insult to the injury, Bright's mint-flavoured mouthwash stayed in my lips that I could literally taste it all over again and just like the first and second time we kissed, I was too overwhelmed with everything that had happened that I actually forgot who I was doing this intimate act with. 'Before I forget, this is Bright.' I reminded myself.
The feeling of shame eventually sunk in as I felt my cheeks burn and I turned away to hide it, covering it up with a slight but awkward chuckle.
It didn't even take another minute; he grabbed my arm and pulled me to turn back to him. I felt like he gauged my heart out off my chest, only to be welcomed by his face only inches away from mine. "That was too short." I heard him mutter under his breath before pressing his lips back to mine.
Heat rose from my stomach to my chest and my heart definitely skipped a beat when I felt his warm lips back to mine; his smell filled my nostrils to the point of turning me into a complete idiot, my world spinning around his kiss and my mind filled with the thoughts of him and what more could he do if I let him. I can't push him away because I also like kissing him.
I parted my lips, slightly opening them and felt his torrential wave of passion wash my thoughts to the shore of the abyss, clenching my fist, numbing my own senses. His familiar taste has once again silenced my raging emotions. And all of a sudden, there was only him and me; the two of us and everything else didn't matter.
My body was tingling, the feel of his lips forming to mine, his soft nibbles to my lips, and his hand cupping my cheeks were nearly out of this world. His hand wandered to my nape, pulling me closer, his kiss turning more intense than it was. Before I knew it, I was holding on to his shirt as if my dear life depends on it. I felt his hand on mine, as he pulled it off, wrapping them to his shoulders.
As if time stopped, we kissed each other like lovers and without a care of the world and by the time we pulled off from each other I was left panting, wanting for more. I've always know this but Bright's kisses could stop and pull everything until everything is gone to his touches. I was not an exception. Only a touch from him left me with nothing but an urge for more and a tightening sensation in my pants.
Behave, Metawin Jr. I took a deep breath, as I avoid looking back to his jet black eyes.
He softly pushed my chin up, zeroing our eyes as he smiled. "Yeah, I forgive you." He muttered before planting a yet another clean peck on my lips.
I bit my lower lip as my cheeks began burning as I abruptly pulled away, turning back to the window. The moment was over but what's left was the lingering softness on my lips and the warmth in my whole system. It felt weird... it felt different. Something I cannot explain. I took deep breath trying to 'completely' regain my composure.
"It did not happen in a snap of a finger." I turned back to him. He was already smiling, slowly turning to my direction. "At first, you were just a regular kid playing with his dinosaur."
"You were cute but I honestly just want to kill time and you were there so I thought 'ah, I probably could play around with this guy.'" he said, while playing with the steering wheel. He softly leaned to the wheel, turning to me. "That's just it."
I sighed, turning back to the cars I saw outside. "I probably took it to heart because at that time, I was only thinking of being Saint's brother." I said trying to reason my way out of the predicament I was in. Yeah, that was probably is.
He shook his head, turning the engine on, stepping on the accelerator before speeding up the highway.
"Saraleo." I muttered before slumping my body back to the rest. "Give me back my kiss." I pouted while looking straight out of the window.
"No." I heard him chuckle, "It's mine." he said, I turned to him only to see his sheepish smile on his face. "But if you insist, I can. But I have to kiss you again."
Damn it! I subtly cursed, turning my attention outside the car. Why am I even inside his car when I can take a cab at home? If I have known how sly of a wolf this saraleo is, I should've.
"I went to see you after that." I turned to him when he suddenly spoke out of the blue. "Not because of anything, but ... just..." he took a glance to my direction, flashing one sincere smile before turning back to the road.
🐺🐰🐺🐰
Bright's POV
I feel stuffy.
I want to go home.
I held my chest and sighed while I was in the middle of the ballroom not knowing what should I do, or how should I act.
We didn't know anything about being in a party or anything. We came because someone came to pick us up saying that we are invited to a gathering, that's all. We didn't know that it was someone's son's birthday. But people were looking at us like we conspired to ruin this special day.
I turned to my mom who held my hand tighter that I was holding hers. She looked anxious – no, nervous was probably the word. And who wouldn't? As a kid, I knew nothing but if I was my mom I would probably feel the same.
I could tell from their stares that we weren't welcomed.
"Bright..." she turned to me and smiled. She hunched, patting my head. "There are a lot of old people inside, should we go outside first?"
I gave her a nod a second after she asked and together we went out from the ballroom.
We were welcomed by a Victorian-style garden of Wisteria flowers in full bloom, the ground were coated with violet colored flowers fallen from the trees. There were hedges and arch made out of vines. The greenery doesn't end as it panned until the end of the garden, it was beautiful.
"Bright..." I turned to her, trying to hide my amazement of the scene. "You can play in there, just be sure to come back." she turned to me and smiled sweetly, encouraging me to go and do whatever I wanted.
Which I immediately did.
I was walking down the walkway filled with flowers, amazed of everything that was in front of me. I was too engrossed that I didn't even notice the wide smile in my face. Strangely, it sent my thoughts back to my mom.
I was not able to see a glimpse of my father in person, but my mom showed me photos. She said that my father died when I was so young to remember – probably when I was a baby - and my mother was the one who raised ever since.
It wasn't exactly that hard. My grandparents gave us all the financial needs we need to survive. My mom also needs to work, of course, and that leaves me to fend for myself if she's at work. You can say that, I'm mature considering that I'm young.
We were living together happily when one day, my mom introduced an uncle to me; I instantly knew what he wanted – he wants my mom. So, I was instantly overprotective with my mother because who knows what that guy wanted with her; I repulsed him.
But as time passed, my mom grew fond of the uncle and whenever he's around, she was just ... happy. That's the time I knew that uncle was making my mom happy again. And when they came to me to tell me what was going on ... I felt like I had to agree because who am I not to?
But I guess that was my entire facade. Maybe deep inside – I want my mom to love my dad alone.
I was lost in my thoughts and was minding my own sweet business when I saw a kid sitting in the bench; I did not notice him before because the place was so hidden by the large wisteria tree on the right. He was all alone, swinging a plastic toy in the air like a total idiot. I shook my head, chuckling to myself when I stopped; smile faded from my face as I turned back in full horror: what the hell is a child at his age doing in the garden all by himself?
I carefully, stealthily walked to his direction, my heart beating faster than usual. I am a mature kid, but that doesn't mean I was not scared of ghosts. Ghosts are no-nos. They are the absolute worse.
I crouched the edge of the hedge and observed. He was wearing a white polo, a bowtie tied on his neck and black pants; the toy he was playing with was the oldest model of Tyrannosaurus in the toy section of The Siam Square. I heaved a sigh of relief, and gave myself a light chuckle because of my idiocy. He was alive. A real kid. He was probably a son of one of those judgemental people inside.
But the question still lingered in my mind:
What the hell was a kid doing in this place alone?
I stopped doing the silly thing I did and just waltzed to where the kid was. As I was walking to his direction when I caught a glimpse of features. His face was circular, squishy cheeks, with large ears; his eyes were small and almond-shaped, it complimented well with his face. It's cute. If you'd ask me, he should be a few years younger – probably two years younger.
'What are you doing here?' I said as soon as I step in. He jumped out of shock as he slowly turned to my direction with an expression I will never forget. I chuckled to myself while still trying to stay expressionless.
He was close to crying, his lips were trembling and he hid his toy to his chest. He pouted his lips, puffing his cheeks before opening his small mouth, 'Nothing...' he frowned, hesitant in answering. 'Just... there are no kids inside and...' he took a glance at his toy and began playing with it again.
I raised the corner of my lip and scoffed. I'm sure you forced your mom to come and now you're whining because you can't play. Then you should've just stayed at home. I thought to myself when he went silent.
I was about to turn away and continue with my own business when I heard from him again. Two words that made me stop on my tracks...
'I'm lonely...'
I turned back to him and smiled. Okay, just a bit. Since there are no other kids anyway... I thought to myself as I moved to sit on the bench from which he was sitting.
'Then we're the same.' I said. He slowly turned back to my direction, still wearing a scowl expression and hesitation over his aura. I shifted back to the toy he was holding, "That's a tyrannosaurs rex, right?" I asked.
In an instant, the frown he wore vanished and turned into a vibrant smile, 'Yes!' he replied, enthusiasm filled his voice as if he knew who I was all along. "They're really really big and they are so cool!" I broke a smile as I watch him wave his hand in the air trying show how big that one dinosaur actually was. "You like dinosaurs too?" he proceeded to ask after, which I nodded to answer.
'I have picture books and toys in my house.' I said.
He shook his dinosaur toy and frowned, "I...I only have plastic toys. I don't have big books with dinosaur pictures..." he said, sadness evident on his voice "...I ... I want to buy big books."
I chuckled to myself as to how cute he was pouting. "You don't need to." I shook my head, "I'll let you borrow mine!"
"Really?!" he exclaimed. A reaction I never expected to see from him. It was full of excitement, enthusiasm and everything that was in between. Interesting. I thought to myself.
He turned to the sides before beaming back to me, "Where's your house?" he asked. Probably still about the dinosaur books that I talked about.
I loosely smiled before frowning, remembering how this was the last day we're staying at our house. "We're moving places though." I said recalling the things I heard my mom say the night before. "My mom is going to marry someone and we're going to live in their house starting today."
"Really?" he said, still full of excitement on his tone. "You're going to have a new daddy?"
I nodded.
"Then what happens to your old daddy?"
I sighed, "My real daddy died when I was a baby." I turned away. "Then now my mommy is marrying another person."
The reason we're here was to attend a celebration insinuated by the uncle that mom introduced to me.
"Is that something to be sad for?" I took a deep breath and nodded as a response.
"It means that I will have another family and a new daddy." I explained. Yeah, to a kid. How can this kid understand? I don't know. But it's probably best if he won't. And it's probably best if he'd consider me as someone who is just talking nonsense. "I have to adjust to my new family and ..." I looked straight to the non-functional fountain, biting my lips. "...I don't know."
I sighed, feeling distraught. I just feel like the bottled sadness I had inside overflowed because I talked to a random kid that I don't even know the name of. But strangely, I felt comforted. The first time I acted like whiny kid turned out to be the thing I needed.
I prepared myself to answer some nonsensical questions I could've thrown to myself if I was him when I felt two arms wrapping around my shoulders, his head leaning on my shoulders. "It's okay; I'll be your friend." He said, his hand was patting my back.
I felt my wary heart calmed down as I broke out a smile from my lips, nodding my head. "Thanks." I said with him pulling off from the hug.
I turned back to him and took one breath before opening my lips to voice out what I wanted to ask, "But why are you here? Why aren't you inside? Do your parents know you're here?" I furrowed my brows and asked.
He shrugged as he picked his dinosaur up and once again played with it. "They are busy talking to some uncles inside." he said, "You're the first one I saw. I haven't even seen my friend yet."
I cocked my head out of curiosity, "Friend?" I asked.
He crouched down and shoved his toy to the bench, "I'm actually here because it's my friend's birthday." he said before making weird motorcycle sounds, "But he isn't here yet so I thought I would play outside."
"That friend..." I smiled as I curiously say. "...who is that?" I asked.
"Saint." I nodded, smiling.
I turned to him dozing off in the shotgun and smiled. He's grown but he was still the kid I was talking comfortably back then.
"We're classmates and we're friends. Our parents are friends too." he said, turning back to me, smiling.
"Ahh." I nodded before leaning down to him, "I asked because..." I paused, a playful smile plastered on my face. "Remember the person my mom will marry?"
He nodded.
"It's Saint's dad." I said in a whisper, "Saint is going to be my brother."
He abruptly stopped shoving his toy to the bench before turning back to me, "Really? How?" he stood up and waved the dinosaur to my face. "I want to be Saint's brother too!" he said.
I chuckled to myself, shaking my head. "My mom will marry his dad." I said, "Then after we will be brothers."
His eyes sparkled and his lips forming into a smile, "Really! Then, me too!"
I shook my head, frowning. "You can't be our brother, kid." I was about to say something else when he cut me off, "I'm Win!" he said.
"Yeah, Win." I nodded before extending my hand to him, "I'm Bright." I said before taking a deep breath, "And you still cannot be our brother."
He pouted before stomping his foot on the ground, "Why?!" he exclaimed, annoyance and disappointment on his face – which weirdly made me smile. "I want to be Saint's brother!"
I took a deep breath, did he forget about the dinosaur books and his dinosaur toy because he wanted to be Saint's brother? I thought.
"Your mom should marry Saint's dad first for you guys to be brothers." he stopped whining and just frowned. "I don't want to!" he exclaimed from the top of his lungs that his voice literally echoed throughout the garden. "My mom and my dad stays together."
I smiled deciding to play a prank, "Then you can't be brothers with Saint." I said leaning over to pat his head which he annoyingly reacted to.
"Huh? But I want to..." his voice broke as he stammered then he finally pouted after a few seconds trying to find the words he wanted to say, "...to be brothers with Saint."
Every kid has a playful side – and this probably is when mine kicks in. I smiled and like a eureka coming in the silly portion of my brain, I spoke: "There's one way to." I said when a thought came to me.
"What is it?" he asked, his frown fading once more to a smile.
"You have to marry me when we grow up." I grinned, making it clear that I was saying a joke. "That way, Saint and Win can be brothers for real."
"Really?!" he exclaimed in anticipation.
I was honestly taken aback with his reaction. He was so enthusiastic about a joke that I felt like I cannot say it was one. I nodded. With the reason that I believe we won't be seeing one another ever again anyway.
"Then you have to promise me that you will make me your husband soon..." I said, smiling.
"Uhn." he nodded as a reply, "I promise, so meet me when that time comes."
🐺🐰🐺🐰
I silently laughed to myself when I recalled what happened that fateful day. Call it destiny or just a crappy coincidence or karma but I can't help but to be drawn to this guy. 'I believe we won't be seeing one another ever again anyway'-my ass. In the end, I was the one who was not able to forget.
The kid who piqued my interest and the one who comforted me when I needed the most.
The idiot kid who did not mind shit but his dinosaurs and being my step brother's brother.
The same kid that sleeps in the shotgun of my car.
From we were kids up until today – this very night, I'm still into him. That went on for more than twenty years already.
I heard him groan before turning to me, his eyes were still sleepy, "Where are we?" he asked before turning to the sides, "Why are we outside my apartment building?"
"Well, it's weird if I take you to my place." I sarcastically answered, "...or do you want to?" I said with a smirk on my face.
He shook his head as he moved to take the seatbelt off only to stumble back to the seat, "Relax." I said as I leaned close to him, close enough to hear his heart beating and his deep breathing. "There." I said softly before pulling off.
"Ahem." He cleared his throat before turning away. "I can't offer much, but I can offer you coffee." he said before bashfully turning back at me. "Want?"
I smiled. "Are you sure?"
"Do you want to come or not?" he asked once more, this time I can feel his temper acting up – just like always.
"Yeah, after you."
I went out of the car and followed after Win inside the building. Because I stayed on his place for a few days, the security and the front desk recognized me enough to not ask for details. They probably think that I'm his brother or what.
"What will you tell those girls?" I asked Win.
He sighed before stopping, giving me a light shrug before pushing the elevator button, "I honestly don't know. JJ will probably do the thing." he gave me a nod.
"Come on in." Win said the moment he entered his unit. I took my shoes off and just followed after him inside. I panned my eyes to what seemed like forever, but the clutter was still there. The living was still his make-shift studio; the only thing missing was the painting.
I walked towards the stand when I heard Win calling the kitchen, "If you're looking for the portrait, I already sent it in." he said, waving his hand, asking me to come.
"I passed it personally to the teacher because I honestly don't want everyone to see what it was." I sat on the seat he pulled out for me as he prepare everything – like putting out snacks and pouring out the coffee inside the mugs. He gave me milk, in case.
I was stealing glances at him while he drinks his coffee when I spoke, "Since I'm here anyway." He glanced at me raising the cup to his face, "Would you mind if I stay the night?" I said which caused him to choked on his own coffee.
I immediately stood up ,grabbing a rag from the counter, "Careful!" I said, as I immediately wiped the spilt coffee on his pants.
"I'm fine... I'm fine..." he grabbed my hand and looked at me intently. Probably to hide something – but it was too late...
Is he probably?
"I'll... I'll wash up." he immediately stood up and ran to the bathroom leaving me in the kitchen alone and curious to what I felt under his pants. Damn it! I cursed.
🐺🐰🐺🐰
I'm sure it was a hard-on. I was chilling on his bed, mopping on what I accidentally felt while doing the wiping a few minutes ago. I took a deep breath and shook my head the dirty thought I had. But gosh, did I just ruin the mood?
"Bright." My thoughts were abruptly cut off when I heard Win's voice echo from the entrance of his room. I immediately pulled the sheets up. "Relax, I won't kick you out." he chuckled and went on drying his hair with a towel. "I only want to ask if you're not going to wash up."
I immediately shook my head causing him to furrow his brows. "Won't that be uncomfortable?"
"I'm... I'm fine." I flashed a quick smile, "Just... just let me borrow some pajamas." I said in a very quick manner, before nodding my head.
He nodded throwing me a pair before jumping to the bed. "I'm going to sleep first, let's talk tomorrow." he said pulling back the sheets, covering himself with it.
I chuckled, "Don't worry, I won't do anything to you." I said leaning close, "...Yet."
"AI'SARALEO!" he jolted back before angrily throwing me the pillow, hitting me in the face. "Stop fooling around and change!" he said before slumping his body back to the bed, the sheets covering his whole body. Isn't he hot?
I chuckled before grabbing the pair of pajamas from where he threw them and marched to the bathroom.
🐺🐰🐺🐰
I stepped inside the room to see Win sleeping soundly. He was now properly laying down the bed. I chuckled when I saw two pillows in the middle of the bed dividing it to two parts.
I walked to the bed and slowly jumped in, I gave Win's face one last stare as I smile.
You might think that we only met once and I know you're still thinking that it all happened in a snap of a finger.
I carefully brushed my finger to his cheeks, which he reacts almost instantaneously by moaning softly.
Even if I see you everyday when we were kids, you'll probably not recognize me. So I prayed. I prayed for a day in this miserable life of mine when you finally recognize me and paint my life colors once more. For me to finally give you all my dinosaur books and my heart.
🐺🐰🐺🐰
Please share your thoughts
(a/n #1: do you really think that Bright's dad died?)