Chapter Thirty-Three: Always Been You
I burst into the waiting room of the ER, eyes frantically searching, when I saw George already there, sitting in a chair with his head in his hands, "Where is he?" I screamed. George's head shot up and he stood up quickly, taking long strides toward me. When he reached me, he pulled me into his arms, but I pulled back, "Where the hell is he?" I screamed at him while pounding my hand on his chest.
I noticed that a few people around the waiting room were giving me pitiful glances, but I wasn't the only one losing my mind. There was another lady, probably a couple years older than my mom, also having a breakdown and screaming at one of the nurses behind the front desk.
George rubbed my back comfortingly, hushing me and pulling me back into his chest. I wondered how he was being so calm, but as I let myself relax into his chest I could feel that he was shaking with fear. He didn't know anything more than I did.
I wanted to run up to the front desk and begin my own one-sided screaming match with the people behind the desk, but I knew that would get me absolutely beyond nowhere. "George," I murmured, "What happened?"
He took in a shaky breath, "I was driving, and there was this big slow down, and as I neared it I saw this huge pileup, maybe six or seven cars. There were ambulances, firetrucks- it was absolute chaos, and I saw the Wilson car in the middle of it all." He spoke slow at first, speeding up as he got past the first few words and then it was all just tumbling out. "I parked where I was and ran over, but they weren't in the car, they weren't around- the car was crushed Hallie, absolutely crushed- I screamed at a couple paramedics until they told me he was probably already on the way to the hospital, and then I called you and got here." George finished with a hiccuped breath, his hold on me tightening.
"Did you talk to them yet?" I asked him, jerking my thumb at the nurses behind the counter who were trying to calm the screaming woman.
"No, I- I couldn't, I just- I couldn't bring myself to it." George admitted, frowning down at his shoes shamefully. "I'm scared, so scared."
"We can do it together then." I told him, pulling back from his embrace and linking my arm in his, I slowly walked us over to the counter and around the screaming lady where one of the nurses broke off from trying to calm her, relieved at the distraction. "I- We umm, we're uhh- Connor Wilson? Is he- is he okay?" I blurted out, stumbling over my words.
The nurse looked down into the computer, typing in the name. His face was neutral, betraying nothing as he turned to us, "He was brought in a bit ago. What is your relation to him?"
"We're his friends, best friends." George supplied quickly, filling in for me.
"Sir, I'm sorry-" The nurse began but George interrupted him.
"Look, he was brought in with his mom, and we're all he has besides his little sister who's a minor!" George exclaimed, "Please, we need to know if he's okay." Desperation seeped into his voice, his eyes wide, begging and pleading with the nurse, "If you want money, I can give you money, please. One thousand dollars, two?"
"He's being operated on, currently." The nurse released with a sigh. "You're welcome to wait for him."
"And his mom?" George asked, "You know, the mayor?"
"In operation as well." The nurse responded.
George sighed, half of the stress and tension leaving his body though there was still plenty left in him.
A part of me was extremely relieved to know he was being operated on, because that meant he wasn't dead. However, at the same time I had no idea what type of condition he was in or whether he would make it out of the operation alive, and the uncertainty was killing me.
George and I walked over to the waiting area numbly. I was having an out of body experience almost. My body was moving, but my mind was not present.
My thoughts were filled with worried, anxious thoughts. I knew George was feeling the same though as he gripped the arms of the chair, his hands white knuckling, and he bounced his leg up and down incessantly. After a few moments of silence, George spoke up, "Thank you for being here, Hallie."
"Of course," I responded, my voice thick with the emotion of unshed tears and the weight of worry.
"I know that Mitchell doesn't like-"
"Well fuck what he likes or thinks or does, for all I care." I interrupted quickly, angrily, and hotly.
"You're not getting on with him right now then?" George asked, his eyebrows raising slightly at my choice of words and fervor with the way I'd said them.
"I messed up, George." I admitted, sighing and glancing up at the ceiling. "He isn't- wasn't right for me, he never was."
George glanced over at me, nodding for me to continue.
"I feel so stupid," I groaned, putting my face into my hands.
"You're not stupid, Hallie." George said with a huff. "I get it-"
"Get what?" I asked, turning my head again to look at him.
"I get why you got with him- why you stayed with him." George mumbled. "I could see from the beginning that, you know, he wanted you. Why do you think I gave you and Connor that dare?"
I glanced at George warily, though nodding for him to go on.
"I always knew it was my fault- that you broke up with Connor, I mean. I was an ass to you, your friends, I still am." George sighed, "I've always been protective of my friends, never really liked new people. I always get worried they'll mess things up, and it was too bad because our friends actually got on really well. If it weren't for my stupid ass-" he shook his head.
"I thought that maybe if Mitchell saw that you and Connor were into each other he'd back off, but it only seemed to make him want you more." George sighed, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.
"George I-"
He held up his hand for me to stop. "Connor's always wanted you back, you know. He was real pissed at me for a while actually. But then every time you two hooked up during the school year, he'd tell Logan and I that he thought he had a chance to fix things, but you'd just ignore him the next week."
"It was hard-"
"I know. If it weren't for me... you and Connor could have been happy this whole time." George muttered under his breath. "Maybe we wouldn't be sitting here right now."
"Maybe if I'd never gotten with Mitchell we wouldn't be here right now." I added.
George sighed, "What'd he do?" He asked, finally changing the subject. "What made you realize it was time for him to go?"
"My friends. They staged some sort of intervention type thing for me, broke whatever spell I'd been under. I confronted Mitchell and he showed his true colors." I told him. "I can't believe I took his side and stayed with him after everything he did. He freaking punched Connor in the face!"
"Yeah, all because Connor told him he was lucky to have you and to hold on to you." George added, muttering the last part under his breath.
"He- I- what?" I asked confused.
"Shit- you don't know, do you?" George asked me, and when I shook my head no, he continued, "Connor told him he was lucky to have you, and that he should hold on because there wasn't another girl like you. Mitchell said something about you being hot, and Connor told him you were incredibly intelligent, spontaneous, something about a great sense of humor, and that you weren't just hot, you're beautiful. Then Mitchell said something like of course you'd say that, you actually got some from her, so Connor threw his water on Mitchell, and you know the rest." George said, trying to recount it, "That's what Connor told me, I think."
My jaw dropped in shock as I took in the new information. I was speechless. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. All along, I'd assumed it was over some stupid disagreement over me, but I never imagined it was because Mitchell had said something like that.
I wanted to be angry, but I couldn't bring myself to. All I wanted was to be done with Mitchell and get him out of my life. Whatever stupid games he was playing were over now, and I just wanted to move on.
"I-"
"I'm sorry for dumping all of this on you." George groaned slightly.
"It's fine, it's just- I broke up with him today, I've already cried so much, I just feel numb now." I told him, turning to glance at him. "I just want him to be okay, I don't know what I'll do if he's not."
I felt my eyes become glassy with tears again.
"I can't believe I ever broke up with him- I can't believe he's-" I cut myself off abruptly. I turned to George with a helpless look in my eyes. "I need him to be okay."
"Me too," He replied, his expression mirroring mine.
"I can't lose him," I said quietly, my voice feeling small, I grabbed George's arm, "I still love him."
I remembered my mom's words from this morning, 'You don't know what love is.'
Maybe not. And maybe I wasn't in love with him, but I knew enough to know that I loved him, and maybe one day I could fall in love with him.
"Took you damn long enough." George muttered, "To realize, I mean."
"Did it now?" I asked him with a slight laugh.
"I'm his best friend, so obviously I've known he's been head over heels for you since you moved here practically even though you didn't start your thing until last summer." George reminisced with a smile, "I wasn't sure about you though, not until the bonfire when Connor wrapped his arms around you, and you leaned into him."
"I remember that night. I tried to convince myself the chills were cause of the cold." I admitted with a laugh.
"Trust me, Connor wouldn't quit talking about you that night. He sounded like a 13 year old girl," George said with a laugh.
"Did he now?" I asked him.
We continued on our light banter for a little while, trying to keep positive though Connor's fate loomed over us, but after a point, my head tipped over on to George's shoulder and I felt my eyelids flutter closed.
+++
I woke up with a start as George jerked my shoulder. The nurse from earlier was standing before us. "Connor Wilson would like to see you both." A small smile tugged at his lips.
George and I both jumped out of our chairs eagerly, waiting for the nurse to show us to or tell us his room number.
"He's in 328." George and I looked at each other before sprinting through the hospital toward the room, panting lightly when we reached it. He gestured at me to go in first and I gave him a grateful smile.
I opened the door, and saw Connor sitting up with his arm in a cast. There were a few scratches on his face and bandages on his legs, but he was otherwise fine. Time froze as we made eye contact. At the click of the door, he looked up from playing with the ends of the hospital shirt and our eyes met.
Everything simultaneously all made sense and made no sense at all as we looked at each other. It didn't take me long to regain my senses and launch myself toward Connor's bed.
He did his best to hold me with his good arm, and I did my best not to make contact with any of his injuries.
I held him tightly, squeezing him so hard I wasn't sure if he could breathe, but I wasn't going to let him go anytime soon. "Connor," I breathed into his shoulder.
"Hallie," He replied with the same breathless tone.
"I'm so sorry," I told him.
"Don't be." He replied lightly.
"No, Connor. I am. I messed up so bad." I whimpered into his shoulder.
"It wasn't your fault." Connor replied, "You saved me, twice, and thanks to you, I'm getting help. I couldn't have done any of this without you."
I pulled my head off of his shoulder, "It should've been you," I told him, and watched his eyes soften. I knew he got what I meant. That night, the night I picked Mitchell, it should have been him.
"It's always been you," he replied softly, so softly that George probably didn't even hear, and then he used his good hand to cup my cheek and pull me back to him.
When my lips met his, everything was right. Everything was perfect. Everything made sense. I was home.
i'm kinda unhappy with this but i didn't want y'all to think i was serious when i said i was gonna take a break from updating that was a joke. i might edit this and change it a bit tmrw but i'm so tired love y'all and gn ;)