- jimin and koo go out to shop with a lot of talking and not that much shopping
previous chapter: koo sets up his hyungs to meet up
for you all who i have left for so long, that's what happened last time lol. there were mentions of collars and jewellery to suggest marking or something along the lines of that so i wanted to use idea today. (yes ik, bad author, i can't remember much bc i take so much time to update these days)
author notes will be quite long so apologies for that. i did write quite a bit this time, so read when you have time and energy bc words are hard to comprehend.
hi to anyone who's still here btw. thank you to anyone who's still stuck around. do i have any plot with this? no, not really. i'm just improvising as i go, but i hope it's still enjoyable.
-
"Jimin-hyung, hello." Jungkook waved shyly as the elder approached him. He could feel a stupid heat rising to his cheeks, fuck. Why did he still feel like a schoolgirl with a crush even after a couple months interacting with Jimin? He was tempted to cover his cheeks with his hands, but that would only draw more attention to his shyness and thus more teasing directed to him.
"Hi, Jungkookie." He ruffled Jungkook's hair, who although was taller, had his head down, looking at his feet. "Why are you so shy for?" He asked fondly, lowering his face to meet Jungkook's. He couldn't help but let out a small aw at the entire human being that was Jeon Jungkook, wanting to nuzzle his cheeks and bite them off, no matter if it was cannibalism or not.
"Jimin-hyung..." Jungkook paused, tugging at the hem of his shirt, feeling his cheeks warm up. He couldn't bear to look into his hyung's eyes, or his face really. "Ah, it's so not fair...you're good looking..." he mumbled out.
Jimin's eyes curved into the prettiest crescents and shoved Jungkook in the arm, slightly embarrassed but pleased laughter escaping. His silver hair was already rather tousled, almost as if the wind had been running its fingers through it. "You're so cute, Kook-ah." He reached out to Jungkook, hand adorned by multiple rings and ready for one hand to link with his. If they were going to walk together, they might as well hold hands, right? Jimin wasn't going to lose the opportunity to get his daily dose of physical contact with his shy baby.
Jungkook placed his hand gingerly in the grasp of the hybrid's hand. It was warm, comfortingly wrapped around Jungkook's own, which made his heart flutter ever so slightly, tickling around the confines of his chest. He wrapped his fingers tighter around Jimin's, relishing in the steady squeeze returned back to him.
He took a quick glance at Jimin. Just a quick look so he wouldn't get flustered by Jimin's stare again, he told himself.
Face looking gorgeous as ever, yep. Glossed up pink lips, smoked out eyes with the faintest hint of eyeliner, who could resist? Shirt tucked into his pants, which clung to his thighs and ass pretty clearly. Ears decked out with his dangly hoops, ready to set the world on fire. Jimin was hot and it was so unfair. Hmph. Jungkookie wanted to be called hot too. But he wasn't going to admit that because that was embarrassing.
"Wait, hyung...where are your wings?" Jungkook ran the palm of his hand across his back several times to check if there was anything there, but it was completely flat. Were they detachable or something? He stared curiously at Jimin's back, poking occasionally to see if there was a button that would reveal them.
He felt Jimin tremble slightly at the touches, making Jungkook flinch back and retreat his hand, apologetic. Jungkook glanced up, eyes immediately searching Jimin's face for any discomfort, hand hovering awkwardly in the air. "No, no, Jungkookie baby, don't worry about it." He coaxed Jungkook closer to him, hand gently pulled back into his. He looked like a startled bunny, honestly. How badly he wanted to squish his cheeks together and cover his entire face with kisses, kiss away the tentative worry on his face.
He sighed, fondness laced into that exhale. "My wings are retracted back; it would be a pain if I kept bumping into things with them, right?" The narrow corridors of their college was an example, filled with students who would brush uncomfortably close with his wings while they all rushed to their lecture halls and classes because god knows what hour they woke up at, because what even was sleep when you were a student.
Jungkook nodded, a bit disappointed he couldn't see them today. Most of the time Jimin had comfortably had them out around him, a dazzling sight when they would sit together in the cafes in their little corner, hidden from the rest of the customers. "It's such a shame though. They're pretty to look at. All shiny and sparkly and silver like your hair."
Jimin ruffled Jungkook's hair, making it even fluffier. "Aish, don't be so disappointed. They aren't gone forever. I'll take them out for you when we're not in such a public place, hmm?" He liked Jungkook's gentle fingers brushing over the feathers of his wing, the innocent joy and absolute care he would place in stroking his wings, and the happy smile he could bring onto his face by letting himself indulge in the contact of someone he trusted and loved (although saying the word aloud in association with Jungkook was intimidating, because it had romantic intentions behind it; it was different from his usage of the l word with his platonic soulmate, Tae, as it was less scary and easier to admit). People would touch without asking at times, which was frustrating because his personal space was intruded on, as well as him being uncomfortable with random people touching such a vulnerable place on his body.
"M'kay." Jungkook nodded obediently, slightly put out but it was okay, because Jiminie hyung promised he could see them again.
"Good boy." Jimin chuckled, eyes meltingly fond. The apples of his cheeks rose even higher as his mouth stretched into a smile. For someone so hot, Jimin sure was cute. Still not fair. Jungkook knew of the cute acts he would do to coerce something out of people, he had heard multiple stories from all his hyungs. He was no exception except that, well, no one could beat his puppy eyes! Truthfully, he succumbed very easily, happy to make his hyungs happy.
Men. Stupidly handsome. Jungkook could only be blinded. The heat in his cheeks was merely sunburnt from such gorgeousness. He had to admit, no wonder why hybrids were such valued beings when they were still sold as pets fifty years ago. Of course, that was illegal now, having proven by scientists that it was inhumane to keep hybrids as just pets or sex objects as they were clearly capable of much more and to remove their rights as human (even if partially) was still wrong.
"Come, Jungkookie. You wanted to go shopping, right?" He tugged Jungkook's hand lightly in his direction, kissing his knuckles gently. He stared at his own hand in mild embarrassment with a slight tilt upwards in his smile. At this point, he should have just called himself a sunburnt tomato because those small actions of affection were not supposed to shake him so much, not supposed to make him feel like he was experiencing his first crush all over again.
"Mhm. I wanted to look at collars – and some other jewellery and stuff!" He quickly attempted to hide his slip in words, not wanting Jimin to hear about his interest in wearing a collar.
"Collars?" Jungkook looked at Jimin worriedly, his tone surprised and slightly alarmed.
"No...? Is that bad? Should I not get one?" He picked at his peach fuzz anxiously, eyes shimmering with uncertainty.
"No, no, baby, it's totally fine if you want to look for collars! There's nothing wrong with it at all!" Jimin rushed to soothe his flaring worries, rubbing the warm palm of his hand across his back as they continued walking.
"Would Yoongi-hyung like it?" Jungkook murmured to himself. He twisted his sleeve - maybe the idea of him wearing a collar was bad? Maybe it wasn't right for him to wear one if they were meant for hybrids?
"I'm sure he would! He'd love anything you'd give him, Jungkookie. Yoongi hyung is stupidly whipped for you." Jimin's small hands cupped Jungkook's face, forcing them to maintain eye contact. "Don't be scared, okay? All of your hyungs are here for you."
"... Why does that sound fake?" Jimin's hand lowered to swat Jungkook on his bum lightly, making the younger huff and pout. "It's true though! I only brought you all together a couple weeks ago, how have you gotten that close without me already?"
"We had mutual interests we bonded over, how about that?" Jimin chuckled, slipping his arms to rest around Jungkook's waist, swinging them both side to side as they walked to the department stores.
"Over what? I want to join in too!" Jimin laughed at Jungkook's petulant demand, his laugh all tinkly and pretty, rapidly pressing soft kisses on Jungkook's easily exposed neck.
"Our poor Jungkookie, have you been feeling left out?" His maknae hmphed, turning his head the other way to avoid Jimin resting his chin on his shoulder. "Hyung will pay attention to you, don't be grumpy, little one." Seriously, what was with Jimin's teasing tone? It made him feel stupidly childish, like it was a silly thing to be upset over. But he couldn't help it, his hyungs were having fun with themselves while he was just...well where even was he?
Jimin laughed, breath warm against his neck. He linked their hands together, nudging Jungkook from behind to encourage him to continue directing them to the stores instead of being a sullen little bun in the middle of streets.
"Let's go, little one." Jimin ignored the fact that he was indeed shorter than Jungkook, but it wasn't like the endearment was a lie. He was always tucked in, small and tiny where possible, seeking comfort from the nearest person (that he was close with, otherwise he would just retreat into his shell).
This man in his arms was his. His to love, his to baby, his to dote on. He didn't care what anyone else thought of it.
(Well, except for the rest of the hyungs and Tae. They had to get along, not only for Jungkook's sake, so they could provide a better support system for him and also for each other, but friendships were not hard to strike up within their little ragtag group - there was a strange synergy they had with each other, making it easy to get along.)
-
Jungkook stared at the sparkling diamonds, lights above aimed at them to highlight its beaming qualities. It was starting to make his eyes ache, the shine of the cut diamonds too bright to handle for a long time. Rubbing his eyes probably didn't help much, but his hand still reached up occasionally to give himself a break from the lights.
"Does it hurt your eyes, Kook-ah?" Jimin asked him, propping his chin on the younger's shoulder, reaching to cover Jungkook's eyes slightly.
"Mhm. Too many sparkly things...My eyes kinda hurt..." Jimin cooed, stroking the lids of Jungkook's eyes. His hands cupped Jungkook's face, a pleasant warmth from Jimin's palms which made him melt a little more in his hyung's touch. His rings were cold, a strange sensation combined with the warmth but he relished in the contact regardless.
"My little baby. Maybe the diamonds are not for Yoongi, hmm?" His voice was soft, a little teasing but fond as he took a glance at the various embellished jewellery in the display and on the shelves.
"You don't like them?" Aigoo, Jungkook's sullen little face. Jimin wanted to kiss that disappointed look off his pretty face. "Do diamonds not look nice...on me?"
"On you?" Surprise was visible on Jimin's face. He didn't expect that Jungkook would want to wear one, especially with the remaining stigma behind it.
Wearing a collar back in the day used to mean that humans owned hybrids, whether it was an affectionate relationship or not. When a human used to wear one, they would be scorned and looked down upon because they were lowering themselves to the hybrids. Jimin heard stories from his grandmother of those days, and he couldn't be more thankful that he had a choice on wearing a collar or not, or if he even wanted to get in a relationship with that dynamic involved. Plenty of hybrids could have a normal relationship without ever needing to mention ownership, which tended to force on dominant/submissive dynamics if one wasn't into it or comfortable with that type of thing in the first place.
Jungkook flushed red, trying to avoid Jimin's curious gaze even though he was trapped in Jimin's hand. He bumbled over his words, panicked and flustered. "I-I know it's weird, I'm not the one supposed to be wearing a collar, but -"
Jimin reached over to rub his back, warmth seeping through the thin shirt; everything feeling a little less cold and scary. "It's okay honey, breathe in and out for me, yeah?" Jimin smiled at him, eyes meltingly sweet and doting as he gazed at the little one in front of him. "A diamond choker would look lovely on you. It's not weird at all; look how good you are for even offering to decorate your neck so prettily."
"Hyung... you don't have to pretend to like it for me... I know people think it's weird for anyone but hybrids to have that symbol of ownership on them..." He shuffled on his feet, squirming doubtfully at Jimin's statement, no matter how much he wanted to believe it.
"Listen here, you silly kid. Yoongi-hyung would love to see you wearing one, I would, the rest of your hyungs would. If anyone is mean to you for wanting to wear one for us, tell hyung and I'll beat their asses up." Jimin squished Jungkook's cheeks even more, making his lips jut out even more. A sigh escaped from Jimin's lips; his little Jungkookie looked unconvinced with the frown on his face, pouting in deep contemplation.
The tempting choice of kissing that pout off came back again. To kiss or not to kiss? To get Yoongi's wrath or not get the taste of Jungkookie's lips? Well, it wasn't like Yoongi had to know... Hobi hadn't told Yoongi that he stole his baby's lips first. So could he just shift blame to Hobi-hyung? But Hobi-hyung was too nice and it would be mean to shift all the wrath to him, as funny that would be.
"Jungkook-ahhhhh? Do you want a kiss from hyung?" Jimin made a kissy face and wrapped his arms around Jungkook's tense frame. The frozen expression on his face made Jimin laugh; he was such a panicked gay. His cute panicked gay. It wasn't like he hadn't been pressing kisses on other places anyway; it was just something about the lips that was heavily pushed in media to be so significant.
"Yes or no, Kookie? You can say no if you don't want to." Jimin hummed lightly as he waited for a response, enjoying the red face of one Jungkook and his soft vanilla scent tucked into the crevice of his neck that made him just want to eat him all up. Gosh did he feel mean, wanting to tease their maknae to tears. It was so much fun though, Jungkook's flushed face, pouty lips, sparkly, teary eyes - what could be a more delectable sight?
Jungkook hid in Jimin's neck, whining about how he shouldn't be such a tease, tightly holding onto Jimin's shirt and smacking him on the arm with his other hand. "Meanie!"
"Aww, no kiss?" Jimin pouted, not really disappointed as he knew Jungkook was shy about public affection, or asking for affection in general. He moved his arm to rest around Jungkook's waist, tugging him along to see the other jewellery pieces in the store.
"Don't be sad, Jiminie-hyung. I'm sorry."
"No need to apologise, Jungkook-ah. Like I said, you don't have to if you're uncomfortable. I would never want to force you to do anything you don't want to do. At your own pace, yeah? You have all your hyungs' support." Jimin ruffled Jungkook's hair, giving him a warm smile and a pinch to Jungkook's cheek. "Come, let's look for a pretty collar for you. And something for Yoongi too, so he can be reminded of you too."
"Thank you, hyungie." Jungkook curled his hand around Jimin's smaller one, shyly interlocking them together. Jimin felt his heart melt even more at the tiny voice he used, his little steps towards him to hold his hand. Fuck, he was endeared.
-
"These are pretty." Jungkook stared at the small silver hoops with small diamonds embedded in it. "Do you think he'd like them?" He turned around to consult Jimin, clearly conflicted and needing a second opinion. It was a lot of money he was going to shell out, it was going to have to be a good decision.
"Baby, Yoongi hyung would like anything you'd give him. Well, as long as it's not a joke present, like wool or a cat toy or something." Now that he thought of it, would Yoongi like those? He was part cat after all... Jimin snorted at the idea, tempted to do that for his birthday. In the meantime, he petted the back of Jungkook's round head gently (because it was so round and adorable and he had to touch his little round baby) and leaned forward to inspect the earrings Jungkook took a liking to. "Also, why are you shopping without Yoongi? He should be here as your reference point."
Jungkook stared at him, wide eyed and embarrassed. He huffed, slightly petulant. "It's a surprise! Because he's been working hard to save up for music equipment, you know. Hyung's been wanting to get back into music production but he's been feeling guilty about it, I can see it all over his face. I wanted to get him something that would reassure him that I can support us so he can feel less afraid to pursue music again."
"Maybe something less diamond-y then? I don't think Yoongi hyung would be comfortable accepting something so expensive from our baby maknae."
"B-but! He deserves it!" Jungkook stamped his foot, eyes determined and a little upset, indicated by his slightly wobbling mouth.
"I agree, bun, but let's not choose something that seems like it'll cost you an arm and a leg for now. Perhaps when you are in a more stable financial state, not as a college student who doesn't need more debt to pay, then you can pick out something nicer." Jungkook sighed but nodded, put out by the disappointment that he couldn't treat his hyung to something nice.
"Or we can steal Namjoon hyung's credit card." Jimin shrugged off his own comment easily, ignoring Jungkook's rapidly shaking head on how he couldn't possibly do that to Joon hyung.
"Then, hyung... How about these?" Jungkook dangled a pair of, again, silver hoops, with its own individual dangly bits linked on. They were unevenly balanced across the pair, one having a cross attached while the other did not, but they seemed manageable for daily life. "They're not as expensive looking as those diamond ones, but still cool like Yoongi hyung, right?"
"Hmm. I think they'd suit him very well." Jimin stroked the cold metal as he held it, feeling a minor amount upset that Yoongi got that thought and affection from Jungkook, solidified by the earrings between his fingertips.
"I'll get them engraved too!" Jungkook blurted out excitedly.
"With what, hm?" Jimin said with mild interest, tucking Jungkook's hair gently behind his ear as he watched the younger practically vibrate in excitement.
"Little meow meow!" Jungkook grinned cheekily, wanting to tease his hyung a little. Jimin sputtered at his statement. If he had been sitting on a chair, he would have laughed his ass off until he fell off the chair.
"When did hyung become little meow meow, huh?" Jimin snorted, leaning closer to Jungkook as he told him with much amusement.
"Because...you know, Jin hyung likes to take random photos of Yoongi to catch him off guard, and Tae hyung conveniently has too many cat pics that look like Yoongi hyung. " Yoongi took the nickname with much acceptance, partly amused and partly just not bothered to fight the comparison; he waved it off and demanded Jungkook come and cuddle with him. Softie. Just for Jungkook. It made him happy.
"That's a cute reference to engrave. Anything else?" Jimin looked dotingly at Jungkook's pleased face as he showed him several cat memes on his phone, comparable to their beloved Yoongi-hyung.
"The day we met... I want that on the other earring." That day in that cold alleyway, with scarily thin and beaten Yoongi. Jimin rubbed the left earring that Jungkook was holding, aware of the circumstances behind Jungkook and Yoongi's first meeting. It had been discussed over the group chat late one night, when both Yoongi and Jungkook were too tired to control their filter, reminiscing because it was their third month since meeting each other, like the sentimental saps they were.
"No initials?" Jimin suggested, which made Jungkook blush a fair bit.
"Isn't - don't you think it's too intimate?" Seriously, this was the thing that made him all shy and embarrassed? A few measly letters on an earring? What about all the scenting Yoongi did, the nibbling, the whole lot - wasn't that itself intimate and special like those letters? Weirdos. (Like Jimin could talk, he too was guilty of scenting Jungkook like the rest of their rag tag group, cuddling and pressing kisses where they could - PG friendly for Yoongi, who was ever so slightly overprotective.)
"Honey, you've been living with Yoongi for over three months. That's already incredibly intimate for most people. Doesn't he cling onto you like crazy too? Makes it hard for the rest of us, we can't flirt as shamelessly when he's shooting lasers from his eyes."
"Hyung! Ugh...why are you like this?" Jungkook hit Jimin on the shoulder, then buried his burning face into his hands.
"What? Being your favourite hyung? Well, it's a tough job, but I love it." Jimin grinned, trying to pry Jungkook's hands from his face as gently as possible, which was difficult because of his stupid muscled arms that kept them glued to his face. "I want to know what's making little Googie so embarrassed. Don't hide, Jiminie-hyung is here!" Jimin singsonged, trying to coax out one shy baby.
"You're the worst, Jiminie, go away." Jungkook whined, but he still clung on Jimin's shoulders and hid in that dependable place.
"Alright, alright, no initials for now. Let's get them engraved, okay?" He pushed the younger towards the counter, where he paid for the dangly earrings and the extra charge of the engravement. The date was to go on the thin cross attached to the earring, the little meow meow to be engraved inside the band of the other earring.
"Look at us sad college students, barely able to scrimp up money. Hybrids are expensive, Jungkookie, you shouldn't pick up any more for the preservation of your bank account." Jimin had to tease him again, only making Jungkook huff and slap Jimin's hand resting on his waist lightly. "I mean, the papers to register ownership cost, even though ownership is an outdated thing, the jewellery to mark ownership...times by six if you want the rest of us. That's a pretty penny right there."
"But that's it right? Then the authorities won't take me away from you?"
"Baby," Jimin laughed, pinching the younger's cheek as he stared at him with worry. "They can't take us away from you if we show that we want to be there with you. And that's only if the hybrid shows signs of mistreatment under the care of the individual in the first place. Sure, it's not the most efficient and can skim over some areas, but isn't that the case with most systems? They don't have the manpower to go over every person in the country."
"It sounds complicated." Jungkook frowned, imagining how those fees could be a barrier to others' love. "Why can't I just get into a relationship with a hybrid like I would with any other person?"
"It's not like you can't. Dating, marriage, that kind of stuff is more common now amongst hybrid pairs, hybrid groups or human-hybrid pairings. Mm, it's not like you're at any loss if you don't choose to do it really. These ownership forms make sure that we're both on the same level - ironic name though, right? Personally, I think someone was too set in tradition to change it, but at least the contents of it have changed. Maybe it's a way to lure those people who still have traditional views of hybrids to take care of their hybrid properly and have their own rights."
"Jimin hyung....do you want ownership?" It was a hesitant question. This was confusing. Like most things in life.
"Truthfully, no. I've never considered it." Jimin said, a small smile on his face as he thought about his answer.
Oh. Jungkook felt a little disappointed, although he tried really hard to not show it. It wasn't his place to be disappointed at Jimin's choice after all.
"My parents never got that ownership thing and they were fine. Sickeningly in love, still." He mock gagged slightly, but he had a fond look on his face. "I don't think you need one to make a relationship work, yeah? It works for some couples, doesn't for others. I'm not sure what some people get from it, because I've never done it, but I guess it gives a whole new meaning to your relationship, whether it's platonic or romantic. A comfort that this person will be there for you, through and through? It is a pretty lengthy process after all - not something you pursue if it's a fling. Lots of probing to make sure both parties are consenting, background checks and so on. The hybrid laws have really gotten better, which makes me relieved. Like I said, it's not perfect, but it's trying to help the best it can. "
"Hyung...would you ever consider ownership with me?" Jungkook flushed immediately, regretting he even asked that when he saw the frown on Jimin's face. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer if you're not comfortable!"
Jimin nodded, pressing a quick kiss to Jungkook's warmed cheeks. He petted the younger's hair, checking Jungkook's expression to make sure he hadn't overstepped any boundaries. He looked even more like a delicious strawberry, but showed no signs of disgust or discomfort.
"I mean, it's not wrong to ask - it's better than letting assumptions breed and grow." He smiled at him, stroking the smooth strands of Jungkook's hair. "Well, I've had partners before who wanted to take that route too, but I think they had a very romanticised view of it. It's a lot more responsibility than how some people perceive it. It's not going to guarantee a smooth relationship or a romantic one, by any means. I just think we'd have to think more on it, okay? After all, it is a lifelong commitment. These forms aren't easy to dissolve unless there's some serious issues within the relationship."
"Jiminie's a lot more thoughtful and considerate of this than I expected..." Jungkook whispered, staring at him in slight wonder. Jimin snorted and booped Jungkook's nose, which made him scrunch up his nose in that devastatingly cute way.
"Not all of us wear our hearts so openly like you do, Jungkookie. You'll have to work hard for us." Jimin giggled at the put out expression on Jungkook's face.
"What about Jungkookie though?" He frowned, pout clear on his lips. Aigoo, what a little baby.
"A surprise! You'll find out when the forms are sent in and accepted, okay? We won't forget about our baby." Jimin rested his chin on Jungkook's shoulder, finding it a perfect resting place as he waited for the lady to take the earrings in for the engravings.
"I'll treat hyungs really, really well! I'll have to find some rich person who's willing to spend a ton of money on my artwork first though..." Jungkook was determined to earn money in order to raise his hyungs. And then his hyungs can pay for the meals because he was going to be paying for the rest. It was only fair that way, right? He nodded to himself.
"We'll be successful and be those rich idiots who buy your artwork and hang it up in our houses." Whipped idiots, but anything to make their youngest happy.
"Nooooo, hyung, you're going to ruin my plans! You can't give me your money to make art; I'd do it for free for you guys anyway." Jungkook sighed; while he liked to say that he mooched off his hyungs as a joke, he didn't want to be financially dependent on them. It would make him feel too guilty if he did.
Jimin went and tickled the crap out of Jungkook, making him squirm as he tried his best to escape the tickle monster that was Park Jimin, bursts of laughter escaping from his mouth. "No- hyung- HAHAJS -"
"I win." He smirked, smugly staring at the smile that blossomed on Jungkook's face, his eyelashes clinging onto the escaped tears of laughter and rosy pink cheeks. "Hyungs will make sure you live a comfortable life, don't worry. You're our maknae, we take care of our youngest. How cruel would it be to ask you to shoulder the costs of seven adult men? Practically evil, I think."
"I can take care of myself!" It was a petulant reply, a little huffy with the slight indignation on Jungkook's face.
"I know you can, lovie. It's okay for us to want to spoil you just a tad bit right?" Jimin nuzzled Jungkook's nape, softly pressing a quick kiss on his mole there. It made Jungkook melt into his hold, clutching tighter on their intertwined hands and slightly less offended.
Jungkook let out a weak sigh, finally agreeing with Jimin. "Fine, I'll just find a way to prank you all. For being so stubborn."
"Your pranks are literally the cutest things ever. Prank us all you like if they're going to be you clinging onto us while trying to take selfies or forehead kisses. Maybe not chocolate in ramen though. Jin would whoop your ass."
"It's Jin hyung, Jimin-ssi." Said person (beloved, majestical Jimin-ssi) just rolled his eyes, swatting Jungkook's firm bum lightly. There was a pleasant jiggle, though he just pretended it did not affect him at all when all he wanted to do was to spank those cheeks more firmly, grip them more tightly. But, shush, pretend he wasn't.
"Anyway, your collar! Didn't you want to try any?" A diversion would be very much appreciated, even from something as delectable as ass.
"I'm so telling hyung you didn't call him hyung." Jungkook muttered. (He wouldn't. Jin was chill about his own authority as the oldest.)
"Shushhhh." He placed his index finger on Jungkook's mouth to block any more words coming out. It only led him to attempt to chomp on Jimin's finger, which he thankfully managed to evade because of survival instincts and fast reflexes. Scary big human try to eat a birb like him. Tsk tsk. "Come over here and I'll eat you, Jungkook-ah."
"Bleh, no thank you, Jimin-ssi. 'M gonna look at the collars instead, bye!" Jungkook darted off quickly, running away in tiny. Jimin was sometimes convinced that Jungkook was pocket sized, despite actually seeing him in his 178cm height self. One bite, he thought. It would only take one bite to eat a Koo whole.
He sighed, hurriedly chasing after Jungkook because as much as he was a responsible, reliable young man, it was better to have him in his sight so he could be reassured he didn't run off somewhere. He didn't want Yoongi or Jin to get a heart attack, reporting back that he lost Kookie.
Jungkook was found in one of the corners of this large shop, once again staring at the glittering jewels on the diamonds. "You really like them sparkly, hmm?" Jimin peered over Jungkook's balled up self, seeing the rows of tiny, delicate diamonds arranged in a tight collar.
"Kinda looks like the one Joon-hyung wore in one of his family pictures." Jungkook mumbled, recalling the photo of Namjoon and his father wearing those intensely jeweled collars that he found online after being told by Hobi-hyung that he could search Namjoon hyung up (he was curious, okay). It was pretty well known that Namjoon's other father, who was a human, had rather traditional views of hybrids. To him, a collar meant submission, belonging, a possession. Not on equal levels.
("Hyung, do you like collars?"
"Not particularly on me. I don't have the best experience with them."
"Oh...would you ever consider wearing one, hyungie?"
"Maybe inside if you really wanted it, Jungkookie, but I'd rather not outside. I would rather not in general, truthfully. I've had enough of wearing a collar, especially in the public eye, you know?")
"Didn't take Namjoon-hyung to like those types of collars." Jimin commented offhandedly. Namjoon seemed more of a natural guy to him. If he were to wear one, it would probably be something he could weave into his casual, off work outfits.
"Mmm...I don't think he likes these ones very much. I don't think I can afford it either." Jungkook said with a calm tone, thinking over it while rubbing his thumb over the surface of the collar.
"Nonsense. Anything for you." Jimin picked up the collar himself, checking the price tag.
...Holy fuck was it expensive. 20 million won? Ridiculous. He could pay for two years of university with that money alone. Perhaps he could try to save up...he could definitely get their hyungs and Tae to pitch in. It would take years but if this was something that was going to last, then it was worth it.
"It's okay Jiminie-hyung. Don't worry about it! I'll save the money for you guys if you ever want jewellery like the one I'm getting for Yoongi-hyung." Jungkook smiled at him, placing the collar back onto the shelves.
"Jungkook-ah, you don't have to do that." Jimin said with a fond look, leaning over to nuzzle Jungkook's hair. "You don't have to buy it, but it would be lovely if you tried wearing it. We came all the way here,why not do it?" He nudged the collar closer to Jungkook, annoyingly persistent in his eager puppy eyes. "Come onnnn, hyung wants to see you in a collar! And take pictures and show you off to our hyungs!"
It was conflicting. Jungkook frowned, glancing up to see the excited look on Jimin's face. He didn't seem put off by the idea, or pretending to go along with it since Jimin was a nice person and liked to make people happy. Then it was okay...? For him to try?
"Yes baby, so go and try it on for hyung." Jimin pinched the under of his chin gently, shooing him off to a mirror before he lost the rest of his confidence to try. Jungkook stared confused, face showing his bewilderment at how Jimin managed to answer his thoughts so accurately. Jimin laughed, giving him a brief hug as he whispered, "You know your face is very readable, right?"
Jungkook huffed, slightly irritated that Jimin could read him so well. And flustered at his soft voice as Jimin lent his dependable warmth, washing away some of those worries in the back of his head about how weird it was for him to wear a collar. He could do it. It wasn't anything difficult. It was just a necklace. No other meaning to it.
"Hyung, you have to turn around, okay?" Jungkook told him, cheeks pink and eyes a little fiery and determined to get his way on this demand. His fists were clenched in front of him, mouth naturally forming a pout as he focused his gaze on Jimin.
"Why are you shy about this, you literally have no problem showing off how nicely you've built your muscles. Like, look at your biceps." Jimin reached to squeeze the firm muscle, hours worth of working out for show. Not to mention his thighs, his ass, his back. His figure was gorgeous, strong arms, thick thighs, tiny waist, round ass, pretty face to seal it all off.
"Shush, hyung, you had abs at one point too. You have muscles too!"
"No, no, all you can see these days is my ass. And my face, if they had manners to look at that first. People can tell you work out, love. Well, not all the time. You're deceivingly small."
"I'm not!! I'm tall!" Jungkook folded his arms with his cute little pout still prevalent on his lips. Jungkook really loved his comfy loose shirts and pants - they shielded away his figure, hiding away his long, shapely legs, made him look so small. Stompy boots too, which boosted him up in height, but as Hobi artfully put it, his walk was perfect with squeaky noises in the background.
"Say that to Namjoon-hyung when you see him for me, yeah?"
"It's just a couple centimetres more! Still tall!"
"Oh yeah, then why am I short when I'm only a couple centimetres shorter, huh?"
"Okay... fine, hmph. I'll just be...content with being small then." A begrudging attempt at being content, but an attempt regardless. He turned his head to Jimin, deciding that he deserved a slight tease. "It must be hard being you, hyung."
Jimin raised his leg up, ready to knee Jungkook in the thigh. Jungkook quickly jumped back, his survival instincts in action. "Aish, you brat. Can't you accept we're all tall?"
"It's your fault you hang out with guys taller than you, Jimin-ssi!"
"You want your ass beat, Jeon Jungkook?" He was ready to smack one cheeky maknae's ass. Tenderly. Not meant as a punishment, because those things hadn't been discussed. Consent was necessary between all parties, after all.
"No, no, ever gracious hyung, spare my bum from your scary hands."
"Just put the collar on, Kook-ah." He booped Jungkook's nose, turning around like a fucking elegant ballerina (or ballerino, whatever works). His gracefulness was enviable, until you realised that Jimin was a clumsy person, slipping on the newly mopped floor that Jungkook had cleaned before Jimin had visited or being practically unable to sit in a chair.
The collar was raised to his neck as he stared at himself in the mirror. With the clasp shut tight, the weight of the diamond collar was comforting and made itself starkly known with the cold press into his skin and the stunning way it would catch light and glimmer. It was so, so lovely. It looked so pretty; it made him feel pretty.
It was such a frighteningly euphoric sensation, that rush of joy when seeing the collar around his neck and the immediate reaction that came after that it was wrong to gain so much happiness out of it. What kind of human would willingly show themselves with a collar that traditionally indicated a hybrid's ownership and submission, and in the eyes of others, a sign of being a lower rank at one point? Would it hurt other hybrids seeing it? Him wearing something like this so easily that they never may have wanted?
Now it felt heavy for all the wrong reasons. Or maybe that was just the sinking fear in his chest? It didn't feel good, by any means.
"Can I look yet, Jungkook-ah?"
"Uh..." He rubbed his fingers nervously on the surface of the collar, staring a little more at the worried expression on his face. Jimin was supportive about it, he told himself as he tried to soothe his worries. He wouldn't run away from him because he suddenly got a sparkly thing on his neck, right? There was no reason to; he had opportunities to say he was comfortable or run away before this, right? "Yes?"
Jimin laughed at his unsure response. "I'm sure you look wonderful, baby. Don't worry, you're handsome so you'd pull anything off."
"Ah, hyung..." Jungkook pressed his hands against his cheeks, trying to hide his cheeks which he knew were definitely going to show how embarrassed he was. He huffed a little at Jimin's soft chuckle, who still hadn't turned around yet, much to his annoyance (and slight nervousness from the anticipation).
Finally, Jimin turned. He felt a lump in his throat, wringing the sleeves of his shirt as an attempt to calm his racing heart. 'Please, a good reaction. Please.' His eyes met with Jimin's, which were wide in surprise as he took in Jungkook's appearance, running up and down his body and then another round specifically aimed at his neck.
He was quiet. His gaze was heavily fixed on him, all attention on blast.
Aw, fuck, maybe this was a mistake. He felt himself reach for the side of his face, starting to pluck off the hairs on his face as a source of comfort and distraction for the rejection that was to come. He wanted to yell at Jimin, tell him to hurry up and say something already because he didn't like this scary, unsure feeling in his chest.
He heard footsteps coming closer, inch by inch. His eyes were closed at this point, tense and anticipating Jimin's hand to reach over and unclasp the collar from his neck. For him to say, hmm, maybe not, I'm not sure it's meant for you.
Instead, a warm hand rested on his cheek. It was a gentle touch, Jimin's soft voice filtering through his ear as he spoke.
"...Pretty." That one appreciative word washed away that fear, replacing it with the bright warmth that came with joy fluttering in his chest. Jimin hyung liked it!
He touched the collar gingerly, moving his thumb up from the collar to the soft, easily markable skin of Jungkook's neck. If he ever considered sucking marks on Jungkook's neck before, well now it skyrocketed into an intense want. How pretty he would be, with the blooming pinks and purples lovingly kissed onto his neck, a collar wrapped around his neck, pressing on those love marks and drawing even more eyes on his gorgeously decorated neck. Jimin couldn't help stroking up and down Jungkook's neck, making him shiver under the gentle caressing and staring intensely at the hybrid, cheeks intensely flushed pink.
Jungkook tilted his head slightly to allow Jimin more access, a small gasp escaping from his mouth as he pressed harder into his neck, feeling his pulse beating under his finger. He gripped tighter onto Jimin's shirt, whimpering as he leaned in to suck and lavish his attention onto Jungkook's pretty skin, so dazzlingly adorned by those expensive crystals.
"H-hyung! In public! We're in -"
Jimin looked up at Jungkook, mouth slowly releasing from his neck, leaving a thin string of saliva connecting to his plump lips and his own marked neck. His eyes were heavy in his gaze, pupils dilated and dark. Heat blossomed in Jungkook's cheeks, his hand reaching up to touch his neck, which was slightly wet which only made him burn a little brighter.
"Ah...Jiminie-hyung shouldn't be taken outside, bad Jiminie," Jungkook muttered to himself, eyes shut tight and hoping that no one saw that display of affection. Jimin clung onto Jungkook, back hugging him and whining for the younger to stop avoiding his eyes.
"I couldn't help it! Jungkook-ah, don't run away, no one saw, I promise!" Jimin totally pouted.
"I won't wear a collar again if you keep doing it again, hyung!" Jungkook whined back. "People could have seen us...well you sucking the living daylights out of my neck." He looked around the shop, still thankfully empty and the one employee far, far away attending to the cash register and eyes nowhere near in their little corner.
"Did you not like it? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Jungkookie." Jimin frowned sadly, no longer as intimidatingly hot but more like a kicked off the curb puppy that Jungkook desperately wanted to hug so he wouldn't be sad anymore.
"No! I-" Jungkook dropped to a whisper. "I-I really liked it, hyung. Was...was I supposed to enjoy it so much? The collar and...the hickies, ...being marked?" He raised his fingers to brush lightly against soft pink marks left on his neck, staring at them in the mirror.
"That's for you to decide, Jungkook-ah." Jimin smiled at him, tenderly brushing away strands of Jungkook's hair from his face and then kissing away the conflicted furrow between his brows. "It's okay to let yourself be happy and like the things you want. As long as it's not at the expense of hurting others or yourself."
"But- I'm not a hybrid..." Jungkook's lower lip quivered, doe eyes doubtful.
"And this isn't right? Things have changed, darling. Although collars and other forms of markers are still more commonly associated with hybrids, they've been used more in fashion lately and are slowly being destigmatised as merely just hybrid things. I don't think you're harming anyone, although this is only one view from me. I can't speak for everyone, but at least in my company, I would love to see you wear a collar if you want to. Okay?"
Jimin nuzzled his nose against Jungkook's, humming softly under his breath. "My pretty Jungkookie, don't be sad. The collar looks lovely on you."
"Hmph..." Jungkook sniffled, feeling his eyes well up just ever so slightly. He rested his face on Jimin's shoulder, rubbing away the wetness in his eyes away with Jimin's shirt.
"Hey, hey, if you keep rubbing your face in my shirt, you'll end up having to buy me a new one, Jungkookie." Jimin teased, although he continued to pat his maknae's back, waiting for all the tears to come out.
"I'm not crying. My face just got itchy." It was a petulant response from Jungkook, still unwilling to admit how much it had affected him. There was no reason to get so worked up about it. It wasn't even that big of a deal, all that fuss over a collar, he felt so silly.
"Alright baby, if you say so." A small laugh still escaped from his mouth, which made Jungkook pout a little. Jimin swayed them back and forth, amusing himself while Jungkook took the time to recompose himself and just to enjoy the hug he was given.
Once Jungkook's little tearing up had passed, Jimin went to wipe away the last of the dampness around his eyes with his thumbs, ever so carefully stroking his cheeks. "You're so cute." He cooed, kissing the tip of Jungkook's nose, which made his bottom lip jut out again, cheeks warming up under Jimin's touch (and affectionate gaze).
"No, you hyung." Jimin's eyes curved into half moons again, fond laughter escaping from his mouth as he draped his arms over Jungkook's shoulders.
"You're adorable, thank you Jungkook-ah." Jungkook, being the cutie he was, beamed at Jimin for accepting his compliment, his cheeks rising up and his hair bouncing as he nodded happily. So precious.
"Hyung, let's get Yoongi-hyung's earrings now! They should be finished by now, right?" Oh, he was so eager, staring at him with his shiny eyes and excitement clearly expressed by his small hops in his walk. Somedays, he felt that Jungkook was more bunny-like than some hybrids, but shush, no one had to know that.
"I don't think they're finished that quickly, bun. You might want to ask the employee when you can pick it up." He glanced at the deflated sigh escaping from Jungkook's mouth, visibly disappointed.
"Aw... I just wanted to give them to Yoongi-hyung as soon as I could." His mouth jutted out visibly, pink and shiny. He deserved a smooch, looking so sweet and put out right there in the store. Jimin was very tempted to smooch. Ah, decisions, decisions. It was Jungkook's decision when he was comfortable with kisses on the lips after all, because they all knew he was very shy about initiating such big acts of affections for the first time.
"I know you did, darling. But at least it builds up excitement for when Yoongi will receive them!"
"I think I'll run away before I get to see his reaction, hyung. Giving gifts is hard." Jimin patted Jungkook's round head affectionately, feeling his heart melt at the shy duck of his head, nose scrunched in embarrassment.
"Just thinking about how you thought long and hard over a gift would make anyone feel grateful that you put in that effort, Jungkook-ah. Have a little faith in our affection for you. You're our maknae, who else is going to dote on you if not us?"
"Hyung...are you saying I'm not lovable?" Jungkook squinted at him, mildly offended. He could get other people to dote on him anyday! He just liked his hyungs' affection more than most people's, nothing more to it. (He pretended that he didn't have a massive crush on them all, not at all.)
"I mean..." Jimin poked Jungkook's cheek playfully. He whispered the next sentence, cupping his hand over his mouth like he was telling him something hush hush. "You're kind of a brat, baby."
"Am not!" Jungkook whacked Jimin on the arm, an angry pout appearing back on his face. "I'm good most of the time! It's just fun teasing you guys..."
"Sure you are." It got out the reaction he expected, even angrier frown directed at him with his glossy lips pouting out, eyes shiny with grumpiness. Oh, how so intimidating he was that he wanted to send him kisses by air for he was not brave enough to give them himself because of his steely glare. (If anyone couldn't tell, he was joking and would very much like to kiss Jungkookie himself because he was being way too cute and did not trust the air to deliver his endless affection for him properly.)
-
"It'll take a couple days, she said. Does that mean we can go now?" To be more exact, she said it would be done by next week, but they would text him when it was ready to be collected.
"Sure." Jimin was ready to leave, pushing himself off the counter that he was leaning on before he remembered that the collar on Jungkook's neck right now, wasn't actually his. As much as it suited him, he didn't think that they would be able to shill out that much money. It was a miracle that the employees even allowed him to try it on, considering how stupidly expensive it was.
"Jungkook-ah, we're gonna have to take the collar off before we leave." Realisation flickered on Jungkook's face, hand reaching up to touch the collar again, then proceeded a frown. Probably at the thought of taking the collar off, which Jungkook had so easily embraced wearing.
" Ah... Yeah, I should, shouldn't I?" Otherwise they would be committing daylight robbery, for a piece of sparkly metal and stone that they could very well not afford. He unclasped the collar from his neck, a tiny sigh escaping from his lips. Jimin saw the sad little frown on his face, the slightest glimpse of disappointment gleaming in his eyes.
Jungkook looked up from staring at the collar, smile forced onto his mouth. He placed it back on the shelf, his body stretched up on his very tippy toes to reach the display. He skipped back, clasping Jimin's hand with his own and nuzzling it with his cheek.
His bunny smile peeked out, shiny eyes aimed at him. "Let's go home, hyung."
It was a shame they had to leave that collar there.
"Mhm. You want to have a movie night with me and Tae? We give good cuddles for sad bunnies." The offer slipped out while they walked out, Jungkook tucked closer to him as Jimin had a steady hand on his itty bitty waist.
"M'kay. I like cuddles." Jungkook said softly. "Gotta tell Yoonie-hyung though, he gets worried." Quiet giggles bubbled between the two as Jungkook texted Yoongi a brief heads up on their impromptu sleepover, accompanied with a couple cat memes to make him smile during his shift hours.
"You want me to send the pictures of you in the collar, bun?" Jimin thought that would definitely short circuit a couple of brains and gain some amusing responses. The pictures were stunning after all. Ever so pretty Jungkookie shyly posing for the camera as he showed off the borrowed collar in the store, cheeks round and flushed with joy as he laughed at the silly jokes Jimin made.
"Send them to TaeTae hyung first, and then we can surprise the rest of the hyungs later and then ignore them!" Jungkook grabbed the phone out of Jimin's hands anyway, sending them off to Taehyung in the meantime.
"Oh, you're evil, Kook-ah."
"Hehe, not really."
"You totally are. Come, let's just go home already. Maybe we'll get there before Tae gets back from class." He pinched Jungkook's nose lightly and dragged him in the direction of the train. Jungkook let himself be guided, excited to just get some snuggles and spend some time with his hyungs.
Perhaps the collars and ownership things could be set aside for another day. He was happy with just getting to know his hyungs for now before rushing into a decision like that.
*** notes here (bc i write too much)
i felt really confused this chapter lol. i think it's hard to present a perspective on things without clogging the chapter too much (think i did anyway but) i guess if anyone wants to see me ramble about it here, it's here. this is regarding the universe in this story that i've gone and complicated sjhfkdhf. if anything is wrong, i apologise. it's only one perspective (mine) and i'm not without my own flaws.
so, collars. this is tough to explain lol i'm such a mess. i'd like to think that collars here used to be a mark of submission bc humans thought they were better than the hybrids who were originally first created scientifically to see how to advance the human race, but in the same breath, people percieved them as lesser at first, because they were not the same as humans the moment they had animalistic features and aspects to their nature.
just like for pets, collars would be given to the hybrids and they were treated as more exotic pets for a while until there was research showing that they weren't just animals to parade around and the way they were treating them was too cruel, because forced submission, being belittled and thought as lesser because of your genes was so unfair for them. laws were put in place and they developed more as they found out more and that's fifty years ago.
the conflict that jk feels can be stemmed from the fact that he's human and he could be bringing up someone's pain by wearing something that used to represent the years of forced obedience hybrids had to suffer through from humans, years of scorn and predjudice and discrimination. and that's a valid concern, because we never know how the things we do can affect others sometimes. then, is it okay for him to wear it? i'm not sure. because he doesn't mean anything malicious by it, but would it rob away someone's history by wearing it? that's another question, because jk is not the person being affected by this. and while jm assures jk it's okay, you can't help but have doubts, right? bc one person doesn't speak for everyone.
the thing is, collars were not originally associated with hybrids in the first place. their existence did not come about until about the last century. it had been used in a sexual manner, such as in dom/sub dynamics. perhaps those misinformed ideas people got from shitty media coverage ended up drifting into the people that bought these hybrids at first, and then it became the norm because everyone did it. and it's natural for humans to want to copy what others are doing bc 1) they want to fit in and be liked or 2) they want to be right. and fashion itself has all sorts of things as trends, and they come and go and then come back.
jm mentioned that collars are being destigmatised from just only being a hybrid thing (but that's negatively, bc collars on pets aren't necessarily bad. it's a case by case kinda thing jdskfs you see why i'm so confused and stuff?). and i'd like to think that the generations of hybrids after the hybrid rights laws would be able to no longer see a collar as a sign of their suppression.
however, this isn't to say that collars aren't completely free of this stigma, because people, like nj's dad still have prejudices of hybrids and are more traditional in that sense, although in none of the positive way. they like to use the collar as a sign of submission, and not the agreed kind. then why doesn't the law do something, if people like joon's dad parade his own child (where there are some entitled parents who do think they own their child bc they birthed them or created them like they're some shit but fail to realise their children are their own individuals) and his husband around for everyone to see that they're something to look at? and how do you know it's not agreed and this is something they want to do? how do you know the collar is a sign of unwanted ownership?
for one, the law is not perfect. they cannot prove that all people are forcing their hybrid partner/child/friend whomever into a lesser role without clear evidence. so things like signs of abuse being photographed, threats being recorded, etc. plus, in most cases, those who pursue ownership tend to have more money, and if the hybrid is being treated well, then there's no problem right? for it not being agreed, well in those photos taken by the photographers of nj and his dad, they looked like they were forced to be there all the time. perhaps that could just be a shitty day for them but it was pretty consistent. and everytime they went out, they wore a collar. and with jk's personal relationship to nj, he found out that nj didn't like that and wasn't comfortable with it.
in the same breath as i said, collars are slowly being destigmatised and not only linked to hybrids' submission, there is still an automatic link because it's been used in media so much before and it's been normalised before. and even without it being associated to hybrids' submission, collars have also been associated with submission in BDSM. so regardless, in the eyes of some, those who wear collars are submissive and so they think they have a superiority when it does not involve them and their views projected on others!!
ownership. this is another tough nut to crack because in jm's explanation, you can see i was very confused too. and that's because like collars that mean different things for different people (although i did give some not great examples, there are hybrids who enjoy wearing a collar because it provides them a comfort that their partner/whomever is there with them in a symbolic way, as well as it can be a show of being loved and a signal to bard off people who wanted their hands on a hybrid when they used to be possesions).
this is the same for ownership. my original thought was that, it was a form that registered a hybrid under your care, so like your child or partner so no malicious attempt to separate them would be successful. it's just a more legit establishment of their relationship to the government ig. to own someone has a suggestion of an unequal standing between the people the form applys to, but these forms would be a protection to maintain a equal balance in their relationships so each party would be allowed to engage in a safe manner. i think shdjsdfsf. i'm still very confused. why did i even put it in then? idk i liked the idea of it.
to be owned, to be somebody's precious person, even in the eyes of the government sounds nice to me ig shkdjfsd. to say, you are mine and i am yours. like not owned in the literal way of you belong to me, do as i say, you can't do anything i don't want you to do, but more of a symbiotic relationship where both parties can gain something good out of it. but don't let someone say they own you in a serious way, it is not sexy, you are your own individual and you are allowed to have your own rights to do what you want (as long as it's not something illegal).
am i confused? yes. will i try to flesh things out a little more if my brain can handle it? i will try. i'm sorry if you had to read through all that mess, i hope it was...understandable? or at least i hope i didn't hurt anyone in dicussing it.
hello there :). it's been a long time, no? honestly it would have been a year since i updated if i waited another month. i feel really bad for leaving for so long. i wanted to get something out there but i wasn't really satisfied and i took so long to write anything. i started this chapter in april after the first draft in got deleted in february by accident, you know. it's august now. it took that long ssfjksf though admittedly i was also busy with school, even as all the things in the world occurred.
i hope this chapter reaches you in a good place. i hope you are all doing well, doing the best that is possible in a time like this. bts have been my serotonin for me hehe.
i thought a lot about what i wanted to say over all this time but truthfully it never comes out when i actually sit down to write these notes. i'm nervous about uploading since it's been so long. not to mention i always feel a bit unsure if i should keep the bottom koo tag on bc idk if smut would ever end up appearing but i gain so much comfort in seeing the bottom koo tag bc i know what i like and i like knowing that if it's there, it'll be that. i'm not sure lol, everything i do comes with a lot of unsureness.
if you've read all the way through this, thank you. i'll see you when i post something again, whenever that may be. i wish you all the best!! feel free to leave a comment if you have something nice to say :> i know it's hard to muster thoughts for comments sometimes because i struggle a lot with it too sjdkfdsjf. no worries if you don't, i'll be happy to know that you read it and enjoyed it.
bye bye for now! see you soon!