Zuriel
I was seated on a bench in aunt Doreen garden wiping away the tears that won't stop running down my cheeks,just a week and a day into this marriage and I wanted desperately to come out of it. Miles my husband even though I wished he wasn't won't stop making me feel like the worst a person could ever be,always ready to insult me whenever I make a wrong move. He had insulted me and called me a pauper from a wretched family that gave their daughter out to just anyone because he was rich because I had spilled strawberry juice on his shirt when we bump into each other at the corridor.
This is not the kind of husband I have wished to have and certainly not this kind of life, where I have no choices and have the feeling that am worth nothing and my husband never cease a chance to tell me how much of a burden I am to him. And all those things makes my heart constrict in pain,but what can I say "it's condition that makes cray fish bend",I chose this life by saying yes and I have to live it and take the pain even though I so much want to question God at the moment but the facts that everything happen for good is keeping me away from complaining.
But the remembrance of what mom always says "if you think your situation is bad someone's is worst,think you have someone has more,think you're good someone is better and another is best" is causing my heart to ache in longing for my poor wretched parents as Miles as previously called but closely knitted family. I know back there I could never get the kind of life am living now with everything at my disposal and every item of comfort but it was a happy life in which I felt wanted, loved,cared for and not a burden unlike my present life,I thought as I wiped away the stray tears from my eyes and sniffed with a sad smile on my face. I want badly to go back to my previous life where I lack but was contented,not comfortable but happy, I prefer happiness to comfort and the only places I've always gotten that was from dad,mom,my brother and sister, they always give me the security I've ever needed, at this moment I was like a child crying for it's mother. I open and closed my mouth so I wouldn't make a sound at the same time trying to still my shaking foot as I massage my head due to the sharp piercing I was feeling in my skull.
No matter how hard I tried the tears won't go back and then I found myself gasping for air due to the enormous tears shedding. My lips quivered and my left leg won't stop shaking, I pressed my lips together to hold in a gasp but they betrayed and another gasp escape them as I try to wife off my tears with the back of my hand. I felt a hand behind my back which caused me to leaped to my feet in shock and I staggered for a while before finally gaining a firm balance on the ground. I pressed my fingers against my head in an attempt to ease
the piercing sensation that was shooting through it but my effort proved futile as the pain increased by every passing seconds and I felt more and more dizzy with time.
"Hey are you okay?" A voice asked and I recognised it as Louis's.
I attempt nodding in response but it made my head more heavier and I stopped midway. My legs became wobbly and my head pounded the more in drowsiness. I put forward a hand trying to find something to lean on for support with my eyes closed but I found none. At that moment my stomach became empty and I felt light weighted and I knew I had cried way too much and these were the after effects of my action. I needed my glasses that moment but they were metres away from my present location. I could sense Louis presence and his eyes lingering around me but I dared not to give him a glance because I didn't want him to sight my tears and I wasn't ready to open my eyes because I didn't want to experience that amount of dizziness that causes one to feel like their eyes had increased size and are going round and round like a rollercoaster without a cause.
I took a step forward my eyes still shut,but my legs couldn't hold my weight anymore and I felt them giving way as my foot twisted and I felt myself going down but for some reason I didn't touch the ground because an arm was wrapped around my shoulders keeping me up.
"Are you fine?" Louis demanded but this time I made no attempt to answer. I kept still for awhile trying to gain my composure while he wrapped his hands tighter around my shoulders and I felt grateful for the support.
He towed me back to the bent and we both Sat down,with his other hand he gently pulled my head by the chin and rested it on his shoulder and sighed as I began to feel some relieve on my previously pounding head and for a while we stayed like this,me enjoying the relieve I was experience but oblivious of what was brewing in his head.
I pulled away and gave some distance between us when I was sure I was fine enough to support myself. I began cleaning my face with the back of my hand to wipe away the now drying tears away from my face. I didn't want him to see them though there was every possibility that he had seen them.
"Hey what's wrong?" Louis demanded and I stared at blankly for a while and then looked away.
"I must be a fool right?..., he began with a chuckle as he scratch the back of his head.
" I mean you don't have your means of communication here and there's no way you can speak to me right? Sorry" he added in a surprising calm tone different from the one he uses with Miles and I looked toward him. His orbs met mine and he gave him a small smile,as his cheeks turn a light shade of red while he knocked himself several times probably chiding himself for being embarrassed.
I turned away my face once again as my lips began to stretch.
"You're smiling" he stated and it dawn on me that truly I have been smiling at his expense. I tightened my lips trying to hold in my smile but failed because I was someone who couldn't hide her emotions.
"It okay,it's good since you have a nice smile and I envy your one-sided dimple I wish I had one" he complemented with a smile making my heart ache. My heart constrict and my eyes felt teary and full. It wasn't like I didn't like the complement or felt insulted in any way. It was just that he was being too nice to me and caring that it makes my guts hurt.
"That fool of a husband you have shouldn't have made you cry" he said, his previously calm voice gone and now replaced with one which had an evidence of anger,like the one he uses with Miles.
I shook me head disapprovingly not wanting to be the reason behind the another beef between the brothers because I wasn't ready to bear the brunt and it it's embarrassing that someone should find out how sour my relationship with Miles is. Though Louis is a good guy and I like the way the way he always stood up to Miles I wish I could do same but I don't want people seeing Miles as a bad person. It wasn't his fault he was that way I couldn't expect any better from a person you went on a date once and end up being married to without your will.
" don't try to cover up for him,I know him quite more than you do and believe me when I say he isn't worth it " Louis said in a firm tone his temple creased to show he was a little irritated and wandered if he was also angry with me.
I pouted and stared into space looking at everywhere but nowhere in particular.
He remained silent and I took that opportunity to observe my surrounding since I ended up here in distressed and didn't get the chance to look around.
It wasn't a very large garden, it had a few trees ranging from a saloon mango tree which was just pollinating , an orange tree,guava to grapes who where hanging in their in the beauty of their stems all green. At one end was a slid which I was tempted to go sit on,a slid and a carousel. Roses and shrubs surrounded the garden like the other part of the house. On the farthest end were plant similar to mint. I stood up and walk to the patch to take a closer look (feeling Louis eyes go with every step I take) and indeed they were.
I moved to the wooden swing and sat on one of the three holding tight to the silver chain. It has a coffee brown metallic trapeze rings and light brown milk wooden seat.
Louis left the bench and walked towards.
"Should I push?" He demanded now behind me, but before I could respond his hands landed on the side of the seat and he pushed me gently into the air. In no time I was going from higher to altitude to higher altitude until I felt the sky was only a hand length away from me,the feeling was great and I took the opportunity to feed fresh cool air into my lungs. I was having the feeling that if I swing a little higher the sky will be my limits when my stomach began to rumble and I felt dizzy and every thing in my surroundings began to appear in multiple of four,I wanted to protest for Louis to stop but my situation became worse when I began shaking my head disapprovingly, I wanted to scream stop and I did but no sound came out. Louis on the other hand seemed to be enjoying himself as his faint laugh could be heard at every corner of the small garden. I held tightly to the silver swing chain like my life depended on it .My imagery blurred and I felt weak and jelly my grip began to falter,unable to keep up anymore my now weak hands became loose and instead of reaching the sky like I have thought of I found my self on the ground. The swing swung backwards and swinging back in full force it knocked me on the of my head causing me to go flat on the ground as a result while pain surge through me and for a while my mouth went sour and dry.
My eyelids became full with tears and I made an attempt to push it back as I sucked in my lips and for a while it worked.
"Am so sorry Zuriel,I shouldn't have pushed that hard" Louis apologized as he stride towards me and scrunch beside me.
I wanted to nod that it was okay and he shouldn't apologize,but the tear that escaped my eyes prevented me from doing so. I wasn't crying because only because of the pain on my head but also because for the first time some outside my immediate family was being apologetic towards instead of laughing at my misfortune as most people do.
I felt odd and the simple act of that was causing my heart to swell in longing,though I wasn't so sure of what it was aching for but I know it was something close to friendship something I had experience only once that ended badly.
"Sorry " he said again and more tears escape my glands,I tried but I couldn't help it, the more he said the word "sorry" the more flow I had as I held onto my aching head. My crying was causing my head to ache the more but I didn't care,I just wanted to let it out and all the while he just squatted beside me trying to calm me down by his soft patting against my back.
I finally lifted up my head that felt so heavy like I had been stung by a swarm of bees and looked towards him after wiping away my tears.
He gave me a reassuring smile that showed off his perfect set of teeth and I couldn't help but smile back at him amidst my distress. He stretched up and began to help me to my feet.
I stood up and began dusting my pants as my body broke into sweats still having the feeling that my neck wouldn't be able to hold my head any longer and in no time my head will be on the ground.
I staggered for a while when he let go of me and he held me once again and began to tow me into the the house with his hands wrapped around my shoulder. I leaned on him for support because I felt if I didn't I wouldn't end up on the floor once again.
"What's wrong with her?" Aunt Doreen demanded in a distressed tone when we walk into the Hall.
"She will be fine mom" Louis responded.
"That is not a respond to give a concern mother son?" She protested as she got up from her seat and approached us. She stood in front of us blocking our way and Louis made a loud sigh as he shook his head in response.
"Am still waiting"
"It's nothing serious, so don't be bothered" he answered.
"Nothing serious and you're holding her like someone who had lost the use of her legs and why is there mud all over her clothes, hope you didn't play one of those prank of yours on her" his mother said alarm written all over her face.
"Zuriel is the last person I would do that to mom and you don't have to know what's wrong because with time she will be fine".
" why,what's wrong with you telling me?" She queried.
"Because you are hypertensive about everything, you don't have to worry mom,I did say she will be fine which is what is required isn't it?" He said.
"Am your mother and my mother instinct wants to know everything that's happening with my children?" She responded crossing her arms before her.
"Well your children are old enough to to take care of themselves without you being bothered about anything mom" Louis said in a slightly annoyed tone.
"I don't know what is wrong with you children of these days, you think you've grown huh, in our days you dare not counter your mother when she speaks and you don't answer your elder like that" she queried anger evident in her voice.
"Is there more to this attitude of yours?"
"Yes mom,you're treating me like a kid by not allowing me to attend the fare because you feel unholy things happen among youths on such occasions.
Louis counter and the only thing I could do was stare from mother to son even though I wanted to tell Louis to not talk to his Mother like that and aunt Doreen to calm down but I couldn't since I didn't know how I was to tell them without my means of communication but one thing I was certain of is " I dare not talk to my mother in that manner if I didn't want to have ears burning due to so much words".
"Come on mom trust me,am your son and am well trained,am certain of the Christian doctrines you've thought me and I promise not to fail you,Louis said in a persuasive tone when his mother said nothing.
I was uncomfortable with my hanging position so I adjusted myself between his arm and was thankful for the relieve I experienced over the time.
" I know myself and I won't do that,I am different, yes that's what you youth say and that's what your sister said to me and ended up pregnant for her college boyfriend thereby wasting her college years" aunt sputter with a hint of bitterness in her voice.
"Come on am Louis not my sister,OK ......."
"That's enough this topic has ended it isn't up for discussion anymore,and no is my final verdict" aunt insisted stubbornly.
"I hate you mother" Louis said in anger,let go of me and stomped out of the living room not forgetting to slam the door angrily behind him.
I couldn't hide the shock I felt because my face was a full prove of it on display and I couldn't rid it of it but act had an indifferent expression on her face that I couldn't decifer.
"My child are you okay?" She demanded in a shaky voice and I couldn't help but feel pity towards her because her mother instinct had been hurt.
I gape at her and nodded silently in response.
"Come have a seat" she said holding my arm and I followed her silently to the couch and lay down on the three seater to rest my head.
Aunt Doreen was silently for a while though she kept her face expressionless she couldn't hide the pain in her eyes, she sighed and rubbed her palms together before folding her arms around her breast point,all I could do was observe each of her action. She seems to want to say something but wasn't sure if it would be OK for her too.
Her eyes met mine and I smiled reassuringly and she responded with a smile as well and nodded.
" kids this days don't understand how the world goes" she finally spoke and sighed again.
"They only see things at the surface, they feel parents are trying suppress them by not letting them express their youth exuberance the way they want, they don't know that they are in that critical stage in their lives and any mistakes now will be hard to amend, my children think and too controlling little did they know that that's my way of keeping them away from doing things they did regret later" she said and I could feel my eyelid getting heavy. I made sure I did my best to keep my eyes open so aunt won't feel she's being a burden on me or she was saying too much.
"I went through same issue with his immediate elder sister, while I was spending money bent on sending to law school she went to college,kept on demanding for more and more money and then I found out she abandoned college and went on with loose girls to pursue a career in modeling,roaming the streets of France and working in low standard clubs and parading small runways all around France with her tuition fees for two years and then she came back home with four month pregnancy without the knowledge of it existence. Parents do their best for their children but the children can only see the parents harshness not even a little beyond that,I was left heartbroken in all my children I would never had believe she would be the one to disappoint me,but she did when I least expected it and am still hurt by that,now her brother wants to follow the same path and he expect me to give him my approval,never..." She said under gritted teeth and went on and on.
But because my eyelids were constantly going up and down I could only a little of what she continued saying. I couldn't help it anymore though I didn't want to fall asleep on her I couldn't keep myself awake anymore, so with every passing second my eyelids became more heavier and heavier until sleep pull me into it quarters and finally shut down not caring about the woman talking opposite me though I know I will feel embarrassed when I wake up I still slept off anyway.
*****####
Thanks for being with me to the fifth station of this journey for more updates please encourage the writer by liking 👍and commenting.
Love!! Love!! ❤❤❤❤❤💋💖💕