This is Bullshit

By MTDSOW

1.3M 60.5K 38.1K

After his death, Kakashi gets sent into the world of BNHA. He still has all his powers and memories, but no w... More

Chapter 1 - Kakashi Hatake
Chapter 2 - Crayons
Chapter 3 - Long Days
Chapter 4 - Memories and Movies
Chapter 5 - There are No Benevolent Gods
Chapter 6 - Irritation
Chapter 7 - Kidnapping? How Unoriginal.
Chapter 8 - Theories
Chapter 9 - Precious Past
Bonus (sorta)
Not an Update
Chapter 10 - USJ
Chapter 10.5 - USJ
Chapter 11 - Why Are You Here?!
Chapter 12 - End of Part 1
Part 2 - Prologue
Chapter 1 - Plans
Chapter 2 - Todoroki's Log
Chapter 3 - Blank
Chapter 4 - Point of View
Chapter 6 - Cut Your Losses
Chapter 7 - Only the Beginning
Chapter 8 - Tales of Obito's Travels
Chapter 9 - Not This Shit Again
Chapter 10 - It Hurts
Chapter 11 - Injuries
Q&A!
Chapter 12 - Hospital Stays
Chapter 13 - Childish
Chapter 14 - Rin
Chapter 15 - The Same but Different
Chapter 16 - End of Part 2
Part 3 - Prologue
Chapter 1 - Change
Chapter 2 - Rekindling
Uh... Oops?
Chapter 2.1 - Omake 1
Chapter 2.2 - Omake 2
Chapter 3 - Finals
Chapter 4 - Endeavor
Chapter 5 - Mall Trips
100K!!!!!!
Chapter 6 - Familiarity
Chapter 7 - Can't Catch a Break
Chapter 7.5 - Scars
Chapter 8 - Target
Chapter 9 - Fairness is Decided by Circumstance
Chapter 10 - End of Part 3
Announcement
Part 4 - Prologue
Chapter 1 - Truth
Chapter 2 - Understand
Chapter 3 - You Heard it Here First, Folks
Chapter 3.5 - A Look Into the Past
Chapter 3.6 - Malfunctions
Chapter 3.7 - Cults
Chapter 4 - Tune In Next Time, If There Is One
Chapter 5 - Good News and Bad News
Chapter 6 - Conscious
Chapter 7 - The Truth, or As Much of it As I Can Say
Chapter 8 - Fussing Over Phone Calls, A Riveting Tale By Kakashi Hatake
Chapter 9 - Before You Say Anything...
Chapter 10 - Believe Me When I Say...
Chapter 11 - Open the Door to Hell...
Chapter 12 - End of Part 4
Final Part - Prologue
Chapter 1 - I Promise
Chapter 2 - Mission
Chapter 3 - Calm Like The Sea in A Storm
Chapter 4 - Spiral
Chapter 5 - Louder than Bombs
Chapter 5.5 - Omake: In Which, Kakashi Opens A Business
Arise From the Ashes, O' Fallen Soldier Pt. 1
Arise From the Ashes, O' Fallen Soldier Pt. 2
Arise From the Ashes, O' Fallen Soldier Pt. 3
Arise From the Ashes, O' Fallen Soldier Pt. 4

Chapter 5 - Sports Festival

23.2K 1K 1.2K
By MTDSOW

The room was tense with worry, all the children were doing what they could to ease their nerves, then there was Kakashi, Todoroki and Bakugou, who looked like they couldn't give less of a fuck if they tried.

Kakashi was reading porn, and would occasionally giggle then show something to Todoroki, who would blush and tell Bakugou, who would fume and start cursing at Kakashi and Todoroki.

Todoroki, while also checking Kakashi's book from time to time, was examining his nails, which had been painted light blue, and had the word "ice" written across both his nails in glittery, gray writing.

Bakugou, while also cursing at the other two, was looking through something on his phone. Sometimes his eyes would widen and he would scribble something down and put it in his bag.

"Class! We will be entering soon! Prepare yourselves!" Iida pushed the door open so hard it left a dent on the wall it hit.

Any attempt to calm nerves was fruitless as the class walked onto the court in front of everyone, thousands of people were watching, cheering, scrutinizing.

Yet, through all this, Kakashi, Bakugou, and Todoroki were acting as calm as ever, Bakugou even more calm than usual.

They scanned their surroundings, and from the back of their line, Midoriya was pretty sure that he heard Kakashi scoff of all things. He was actually disappointed.

Well, Midoriya supposed, he isn't called Hatake the Enigma for no reason.

~~~

Kakashi wasn't a man who expected much, but when they announced the Sports Festival as a National event, he sort of expected more people to show, or at least for it to be made a bigger deal. As far as he'd seen, there was no extra merchandise being sold, no Yuuei shaped stuffed animals, or Nezu action figures, something he learned was typical of events like this.

This brought him back to his time in the Chunnin exams. Ah, good times.

Since he came first in the entrance exams, he was expected to give a speech, which he thought was bullshit. He couldn't just pull talk-no-jutsu speeches out of his ass! Who did they think he was? Naruto?

So, there he stood, staring out at all the stupidly naive children who thought this was all for fun. At least the children in the Gen. Ed course and class B were taking this a little more seriously. To the 1-A students, this was just another event, though most of them tried to convince themselves that they had something to prove. The only ones who actually seemed to care were those who had something riding on this.

So, he made a declaration. He cleared his throat, and put away his book. "Those who say life is up to luck have been unlucky. Life is up to talent and effort. You want to make statements? Fine. Then come here ready to prove it, or I'll beat you into next week. Who knows, maybe next year I'm not going to be the one standing on this stage, telling you that you're all weak, maybe next year it'll be one of you. But that's not luck. That's not raw talent. That's skill." Kakashi stuck his hands in his pockets and walked off the stage. The crowd erupted in applause, and Bakugou was grinning like a maniac.

"You crazy fucker. Did you really just compose that shit on the spot?"

"Of course I did. I don't just carry motivational speeches around in my pocket. Oh! Would you look at that! A small child who needs inspiring! Let me just look through my flashcards and find a speech that would work!" Kakashi deadpanned.

"You smug little bastard."

"Thank you dear." Kakashi grinned.

Midoriya spluttered weakly from their exchange. He'd likely never seen someone stand up to Bakugou- Oh sorry, Kacchan and live to tell the tale.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you one day." Bakugou growled.

"Looking forward to it, Kacchan. Let me know if you want help with your murder plot."

Bakugou was about to start yelling when Midnight stepped onto the stage. "Thank you for that beautiful speech, Hatake. I look forward to seeing what sort of things you write in the future." She licked her lips.

It took every ANBU bone in Kakashi's body for him not to double over and burst out laughing.

Midnight announced the first stage, which was an obstacle course, and then they were off.

Kakashi knew that since he made that declaration, he would now have to try a little. Well, that's okay. It's been a while since he'd had some fun.

"Doton: Tsuchi Gunjikoudou no Jutsu." Kakashi slipped into the ground, and "swam" to the other side. He jogged to the next stage, which was robots, and stopped. He only needs to destroy two or three, then leave. Todoroki and Bakugou were catching up, and then behind him were the rest of the students.

Kakashi built up a chidori and channeled chakra into his legs. He jumped and ripped through the robots to create a path for himself.

'This is... really easy actually.' He thought while he was running. 'Too easy. This can't be all there is, right?'

The next stage was a little strange, but still pretty simple. Kakashi revealed his sharingan and kamui'd over there. He'd figured that since Obito could teleport, he could too, so he did. He waited a bit, and noticed something strange. Mineta was clinging to Yaoyorozu.

Oh no. Well we can't have that. He teleported back over, and whacked him upside the head. He let go and fell to the floor.

"Y'know, I was wondering if maybe I should've just broken both of your arms and legs back in the heroes and villains exercise, I didn't though, because I'm just so kind. But y'know what? I'm starting to regret that choice. You, mister, are one step away from experiencing first hand how much electricity someone of your... size can handle. And if you ask me, I don't think it's very much." Mineta was trembling now, and Kakashi cocked his head to one side and smiled. "Do not touch anyone without their permission, or I will hunt you down and throw you to the dogs. Got it?" He then sauntered off and completed the rest of that section.

Kakashi vaguely registered Hizashi's "commentary" in the background as he ran.

Mines.

"Okay Kakashi. Breathe." He took a few deep breaths and tried not to think about the 3rd war. Kakashi then had a genius idea. "What if I just... Katon: Goukakyuu no jutsu!" He sent a fireball at the mines, and they all exploded.

Kakashi didn't like explosions. He didn't like them at all, but he pushed through, and made it to the end.

This was too much work just for a damn license!

Kakashi rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and banished the memories from his mind. Reminiscing about the past would bring him nothing.

Slowly, other people began to enter the stadium.

Todoroki came in second and Bakugou in third. Soon, everyone was there.

In the tops tens were:

Hatake Kakashi

Todoroki Shouto

Bakugou Katsuki

Shiozaki Ibara

Honenuki Juzo

Iida Tenya

Tokoyami Fumikage

Sero Hanta

Kirishima Eijirou

Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu

I'll add the full rankings in the bottom.

They did a "lottery" for the next match, even though Kakashi was 95% sure that it was decided beforehand.

The next round would be a cavalry battle. Each person would get split up into teams, and based on what place you got in the obstacle course, you'd get points. Kakashi, since he was first, got 1 million.

There was no touching the ground if you were the rider, and any points you got had to be worn above the neck.

Kakashi was assuming that his eye counted as above the neck.

He paired up with Todoroki, Bakugou and Kirishima, they had a total of 1,000,575 points.

"How are we going to protect the headbands?" Kirishima asked. Todoroki and Bakugou both looked at Kakashi and handed him theirs.

"Put it in that weird ass eye you've got."

"You're putting it where?" Kirishima asked incredulously.

"In a pocket dimension I happen to have."

"I thought your Quirk was the electricity thing you did?" Kirishima said.

"Oh it is. I just also happen to have a pocket dimension in my eye." Kakashi nodded.

"You know, what, you do you. Can anyone else access it?"

"Yeah. But he probably wouldn't steal anything from my half of the pocket dimension." Kakashi shrugged and revealed his sharingan.

"Wow. It looks so manly!" Kirishima grinned.

"Thanks?" Kakashi uses Kamui to take the headbands.

"So now we don't really have to do anything, right?" Kirishima asked.

"No. We're still going to steal from those extras. Why wouldn't we?"

"We can do whatever now." Todoroki shrugged. "Not like we're going to lose."

They made small talk for the next fifteen minutes.

When the cavalry battle finally started, people began to notice that the 1 million headband had gone missing.

"Kakashi? Where's the headband?"

"In my eye."

Midnight looked at him like he'd grown a head and said, "It's where?"

"Pocket dimension. In my eye. Which happens to be above the neck."

"Is that allowed?" Some random child asked.

"Can you get it out after?" Midnight asked.

"Yes."

"Well, it's above the neck, so I'll allow it. " The students frowned, and some of them argued, but the choice had been made.

It's easy to guess how the cavalry battle went for Kakashi. His team won, obviously, because no one could get the headband, and he didn't take it out of his pocket dimension. They also had a wild Bakugou who was distracting the other students and stealing headbands.

When the round was over, Kakashi's team was in first, followed by Yaoyorozu's team; Iida, Ojirou and Tsu, then in third was Midoriya's team; Kaminari, Tokoyami and Uraraka, lastly, in fourth was Monoma's team; Shinsou, Tetsutetsu and Juzo.

Kakashi had a good guess as to what the last round would be.

A fight to the death!

No, that was unlikely. It was probably going to be a 1 vs 1 tournament, like at the end of the Chunnin exams, only this time there was no rampaging Biju.

Hopefully.

When the intermission was over, they announced the next round, which was, unsurprisingly, a tournament.

The first round of the tournament was Kakashi against Shinsou.

Kakashi grinned and stretched.

Show time.

1st - Hatake Kakashi. 2nd - Todoroki Shouto. 3rd. Bakugou Katsuki. 4th - Shiozaki Ibara. 5th - Honenuki Juzo. 6th- Iida Tenya. 7th - Tokoyami Fumikage. 8th - Sero Hanta. 9th - Kirishima Eijirou. 10th - Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu. 11th - Yaoyorozu Momo. 12th - Ojirou Mashirao. 13th - Asui Tsuyu. 14th - Shoji Mezo. 15th - Satou Rikidou. 16th - Awase Yosetsu. 17th - Uraraka Ochako. 18th - Mina Ashido. 19th - Jirou Kyoka. 20th - Kaibara Sen. 21st - Tsuburaba Kosei. 22nd - Kaminari Denki. 23rd - Bondo Kojiro. 24th - Yanagi Reiko. 25th - Shinsou Hitoshi. 26th - Kendo Itsuka. 27th - Shishida Jurota. 28th - Kuroiro Shihai. 29th - Kodai Yui. 30th - Rin Hiryu. 31st - Shoda Nirengenki. 32nd - Komori Kinoko. 33rd - Togaru Kamakiri. 34th - Monona Neito. 35th - Tsunotori Pony. 36th - Hagakure Tooru. 37th - Tokage Setsuna. 38th - Fukidashi Manga. 39th - Hatsume Mei. 40th - Aoyama Yuuga. 41st - Midoriya Izuku. 42nd - Suzuki Akihiko (Random Gen Ed student that I made up).

So I'll be leaving on a trip on the 8th, which is tomorrow, and I don't think I'll be able to update while I'm there. I'll update when I get back, but there probably won't be any updates for this week.

Continue Reading

You'll Also Like

812K 37.6K 59
Taehyung is appointed as a personal slave of Jungkook the true blood alpha prince of blue moon kingdom. Taehyung is an omega and the former prince...
4.6K 77 7
5 hundred years after the Elf Tribe was killed by the humans a legend will come to light as the daughter of Licht will be born and help save the clov...
729K 40.5K 57
Living once as an overworked teenage mom (dad, big brother, whatever) taught him a lot of things. For example-- don't pick up anymore children that l...
75.3K 2.4K 34
Y/n Martin, a werewolf/banshee, the first of her kind, leaves with the lacrosse team to Mystic Falls and stays with the Saltzman family at the Salvat...