Song of the Chapter: Basin Street Blues by Louis Armstrong and His Hot Five
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Remi laid in her bed, feeling as if her insides had become fermented from the alcohol. Exhaustion gripped onto her like a vice, not daring to let go until sleep fought it off. She laid there, her eyes shut and her lashes against her skin, lighter now that her mascara was washed off. Her hair smelled like coconuts from the shower she had just gotten out of, the girl had stripped out of her damp clothes as soon she had gotten home. One of her brother's old, large shirts draped her body as she tried her best to drift off to sleep.
Sleep didn't come, though, no matter how hard she tried.
She turned over, the old bed frame squeaking as she did so. She huffed, throwing her blanket off of her and begging sleep to overtake her. Still, she was awake. How could she be so drained and unable to fall asleep at the same time.
Her eyes scanned her room, covered in a shroud of darkness. The only source of light was the moon, the plug-in night light she had since she was a child not working due to the power still being out.
Not that she'd turn the light on yet anyway-- her head was killing her.
Her tired eyes landed on the small collection of jars on her shelf, full of shells and rocks she had picked up over the years-- a habit that she never grew out of, always stopping to pick one up from the ground every now and then.
It had always perplexed her how some of her favorite and most precious possessions were that of her mother's. The simple pearl necklace resting on her dresser had been her mother's, as well as most of the records that were stacked beside her record player. Even the surfboard that was propped against the wall in her small room had once belonged to the late Elizabeth Elliot. Though she and her mother's relationship was strained when the woman was alive, and even still, Remi held some buried resentment towards her mom, the two shared a few interests.
Remi just prayed that she wouldn't grow up and leave everything she loved for the first kook who said he loved her-- like her mother had. The woman had cut ties with all of her friends, even her own mother, Loretta, all for a world of yachts, luxury brands, the country club and overpriced salads. Even as a small child, Remi knew that Elizabeth and James Elliot were stuck in a loveless marriage-- it was one of the only things she was able to recall about her parents. It tore Remi up wondering if Elizabeth Elliot had just been misguided, sick of being dirt poor, or if she really was able to leave everyone behind with no regrets within her.
She knew the answers lied in her mother's diaries, given to Remi by her grandmother. After her mom passed, Loretta had passed down the journals, bot having read them herself and hoping it would provide the grieving young girl with some solace. Still today, they sit unopened in a box under her bed.
Remi squeezed her eyes shut, rubbing her fingers against her eyelids in an attempt to stop her mind from wandering.
Her mind usually wandered at night.
Night was when Remi was usually alone, not having her friends or her grandmother or anybody else to distract her from the few unpleasant memories that were embedded in her subconscious. She wouldn't say her general optimism was a facade, it was just easier. It was uncomfortable for her to work through the pain that was buried deep inside of her, so she just pushed it off until later-- hoping that 'later' never actually came around.
But at night, those foggy memories and feelings crawled back up to the surface like hundreds of bugs crawling out of the damp earth. From the darkest of crevices came memories of her mother and father. She beat herself up over holding grudges against them, given that they had passed. Hell, she didn't fully know why she held such strong disdain for her parents-- it wasn't like she could even remember much about them. But, they were her parents after all and she had never learned to balance the love that she would always have for them and the few memories of the pain that they had caused her while they were alive.
She especially didn't want to be a burden to those around her, bringing up the bad emotions that always came to her when she though about her childhood. She knew it could have been worse. There could have been physical abuse, rather than just faint echoes of words that were etched into the back of her mind-- just out of her memory's reach.
The thought of crawling into her grandmother's bed drew her in. She had heard the woman arrive home while she was in the shower and Loretta had simply gone to bed, probably tired from her trip to the mainland. Unable to push the thought from the forefront of her mind and wanting to stop digging a mental hole into her memories of her parents, Remi slid out of bed.
Stepping slowly, she was careful to avoid the creaky parts of the wooden floor. She twisted the doorknob, opening her door and slipping out into the hallway. Remi made her way to her Grandmother's room, closing the door behind her quietly. The women didn't even stir, she only grabbed the edges of the quilt, lifting it enough for Remi to slide in beside her.
The warmth enveloped her, trapped under the quilt as Loretta let the fabric fall against Remi's body. She couldn't figure out if her grandmother was awake or not. Nonetheless, she scooted closer to the woman, taking in her natural floral and sweet scent.
And Remi fell asleep.
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Remi woke the next morning with the space next to her empty. The girl rubbed the sleep from her eyes, flinging the quilt off of her body. Standing up, she mentally cursed Hurricane Aggie for knocking out their power and A/C, the entire home feeling like a sauna. She gathered her hair into a pony tail, getting it off of the back of her neck before stepping out of her grandmother's room. Practically following the smell of coffee, she walked to the kitchen, passing Loretta at the table, hanging over piles of papers and bills.
"Morning." Remi muttered, her morning voice low and gravely. She took out a mug, pouring freshly brewed coffee from the stove-top pot. She got the creamer from the fridge, hoping it hadn't yet expired.
"Good mornin'." Loretta muttered, sounding as if she was in fact, not having a 'good morning'. Remi caught something off in the woman's voice as she poured the creamer into her coffee, a slight panic laced her tone. She spun around, stirring the contents of her mug before taking a sip. Loretta sat with her head leaned on her hand, holding up a notice and reading it's contents for the hundredth time that morning. Remi came up behind her grandmother, peering over the woman's shoulder.
Her lips parted and her breath was caught in her throat as she read the words on the paper.
Foreclosure warning.
For a split second, all she could think about was having to move away from her friends--no, her family. How could they even afford to move? Where would they go? She couldn't fathom living on the mainland.
"Is this for real?"
"Found it in the mail this morning." Loretta looked up at Remi shamefully, like she felt as if she was failing her granddaughter. "The bank's not being lenient anymore. It says if we don't pay the amount by the end of the month then-" The woman shook her head, still frozen in shock and fear.
"But you've been here for like forty years? Isn't that worth anything?" Remi worries, her mind racing for alternatives.
"Not to the bank." Loretta says wistfully. "I don't have the money this time. This'll wipe out the savings." The woman breathes out, staring straight at the paper like a deer in headlights, not knowing what to do.
Remi's heart sunk at the sight of her grandmother at such a loss. She stood there, her mind swirling as if she were caught in a hurricane. She couldn't find the words to calm Loretta, or even herself. It felt like everything she had become comfortable with was slipping away.
Her friends.
The home itself.
The island.
She felt a rush of emotions, anger, sadness, fear and panic all beating down at her while her mind raced for a solution. From the hallway, Aunt Daisy padded into the living room, plopping onto the rug and at the sight of the dog-- it hit her.
The motel room money.
She had counted it over and over.
Fifteen thousand American dollars, tucked away in the vent behind her bed at this very moment.
And in that split second, Remi had concocted a plan. A plan that made her feel incredibly guilty, but felt utterly necessary. She couldn't let them lose the little cottage, the greenhouse and her hammock set up in the trees. And she would make sure that they didn't have to worry again.
"I-I get my paycheck today. Maybe that'll help. A little at least." Remi stared at the back of the woman's gray head of long hair all cascading down her back. Loretta looked back at her granddaughter, her worry temporarily slipping away at the sight of the girl. She slid out of her chair, standing in front of her.
"What did I do to deserve you?" The woman coos, cupping Remi's cheeks in her hands. She was boundlessly proud of the girl standing in front of her, the little girl now a strong and selfless young woman.
"Literally nothing, I didn't ask to be born." Remi shrugs, never being one to take a compliment well. She always went around offering love, but had a hard time accepting it in return.
"Well I'm glad you're here." Loretta places a soft kiss on Remi's forehead, the girl's eyes drifting down to her grandmother's watch and widening when she noticed the time.
"God, I need to go in like five minutes or I'll be late." Remi stepped out of her grandmother's hold, hurrying to her room. She set her coffee cup on her dresser, stripping from the large shirt and changing into her work uniform. She wiped on deodorant and pulled her hair into a ponytail. Following the girl, Loretta leaned against the door-frame, pulling her sheer lace cardigan tighter as she crossed her arms, appearing as ethereal and effortlessly elegant as always.
"I'm sorry you have to walk, sweetie." Loretta admitted. Though the woman was overflowing with love and support, she wasn't overflowing with an abundance of money. While cultivating and selling plants was what she truly loved, she often wondered if she made the wrong choice. There were so many other jobs that would earn her more money, enough money to get a car for her granddaughter.
"Oh, no. It's fine-I mean, I understand." Remi's voice was soft as she moved to run mascara over her lashes, looking through the mirror at her grandmother who smiled back. "You know, a lot of the kooks got cars at fourteen?" She pulled a face of confusion. They couldn't even get their permit until they were fifteen, so what was the point of buying luxury cars for kids who couldn't legally drive them yet?
"Rich assholes." Loretta muttered, not thinking Remi heard, but the girl snickered at her words. The woman offered one last smile before heading back into the kitchen, most likely to worry over the bills and the notice.
Remi dropped the mascara tube onto the surface of her dresser, taking a sip from her coffee as she spun around. The girl peeked her head out of her room, making sure Loretta was fully gone. With no sight of the woman in the hallway, she moved towards her bed, getting onto the floorboards and crawling into the space under the mattress, shoving a few old boxes out of the way. She removed the screw from the vent cover, pulling it off to grab the stack of money she had stored away. She put everything back into place, wriggling out from underneath her bed.
The massive guilt that she felt made the money feel heavier in her hands, like it was dragging her down to the floor below. What she was planning on doing was shady and most definitely illegal, but she had no other options-- she just hoped it didn't lead her down a bad road.
Shoving it into her backpack, her eyes landed on the pearl necklace resting on her dresser. With a pain in her heart, she took the necklace in her hand, the pearls cold against her palm. Reluctantly, she dropped it into her backpack, zipping it and she slinging it over her back. She walked out of her room and back into the kitchen. She made herself lunch to take and when Loretta went off to the bathroom, Remi snatched up the foreclosure warning and house bill and was on her way to the Kildare Inn and Country Club.
Sure enough, at the end of her shift, her manager, Paul had tasked her with clearing all of the registers and taking the money to the safe in the back offices before getting her paycheck. It was something he was supposed to do, of course, and for once, Remi was glad to take up the slack.
She piled the money from all of the registers into the small bag used to transfer it to the offices, marking down on a sheet of paper, just how much came from which register.
"Hey, Remi. You-uh, you look nice today." A voice spoke up behind her as she opened the register in the dining hall. The girl glanced behind her, her eyes landing on Wesley Abbott. He was a kook boy who had just started working at the Country Club a week ago. She remembered when he started, that he went on about how this job was just for pocket money for the summer, putting a bad taste in her mouth since the job was her and others' livelihoods.
"Oh, thanks. I mean, I wear this everyday." She shrugged, looking down at the work uniform. Wesley's face reddened but Remi was too preoccupied to notice or care. She wasn't too sure what was so flattering about a plain black shirt, pants and shoes and she sure as hell didn't feel very pretty in the attire. Not fully paying attention as she counted the dollar bills she took from the register, Wesley spoke up again.
"Yeah, yeah. Its your hair, then. You usually wear it up at work." He explained, trying not to stumble over his words. The girl had taken her ponytail out at some point in the day due to the weight of her hair causing a headache to start. Remi took a quick breath in as she miscounted the amount, having to start over again. She couldn't write down the wrong numbers.
"Thanks." Remi shoved the money into the small bag, writing down the amount from the specific register on a small notepad.
"So I was uh- I was wondering if you'd want to go to that restaurant that's in Elizabeth City, Ruth's Steakhouse? They've got the best fillets for only like fifty dollars." The boy posed, catching Remi off guard. Fifty dollars for a steak? She glanced over as he nervously ran a hand though his hair and she finally caught on.
The kook was asking her on a date.
"Oh, I'm not really looking to date anyone right now." She rejected, speaking as softly as she could, not wanting to come off as rude or set him off. Some guys didn't know how to take rejection. She didn't want to mention that she couldn't afford the restaurant or even the trip there. And she didn't take charity.
"Oh, well we could-" Welsey muttered, about to propose another offer. Remi closed the register, turning fully to the boy with a small, sympathetic smile on her face.
"Look, I'm like, really busy. But thanks for the offer." She stopped him before he could continue, having not caught on to the fact that she wasn't interested. She grabbed the small bag containing the money and the notepad. With a fleeting smile, she walked past him, her backpack heavy on her back with the dirty money inside of it.
Quietly closing the door behind her, she stepped into Paul's office, the man having taken off already. Most of her coworkers were gone as well, leaving her with all the time she needed to swap out her stolen, dirty money for the money in the country club's safe.
She was careful to count out every single dollar, all fifteen thousand of them. She couldn't make a mistake-- there was no room for error. Mentally, she thanked the rich country club members for throwing their money around like it meant nothing to them. Remi stuffed the swapped bills into envelopes, putting them in her backpack. Just as she was about to set the stack from the motel room into the safe, the door to the office swung open. She was worried for a moment that it was Wesley, not taking the rejection.
Remi flinched, spinning to see Paul standing in the doorway. The manager simply stood there with an unreadable expression. The two were frozen for a moment, caught in each other's gaze with the money still in Remi's slightly shaking hand.
"I thought you'd be gone by now." The man chuckled, waddling over to his desk. He lifted a sports coat off of the back of his chair, holding it in the air for the girl to see. "Left my jacket." He smiled, leaving Remi to smile back uncomfortable.
"See you tomorrow Mr. Paul." She dropped the money into the safe, looking as if she was doing exactly as she was told. The man waved lazily before heading out, leaving the door wide open.
Remi let out a breath of relief, surprised yet thankful that he didn't pick up on how afraid she was of getting caught. She assumed it looked pretty obvious that she was up to something. Nevertheless, she shut the safe, locking away the dirty money and zipping up her bag. Dropping the bag and notepad on top of the safe, she stood up, lugging her backpack over her shoulders. She closed the door to Paul's office behind her, trying to quell the rising smile on her face as she walked through the hall, her backpack bouncing against her back. Still, a cheeky grin found it's way onto her lips.
The girl made her way into town, still dressed in her work clothes as the afternoon sun beat down on her. She stopped at a pawn shop, pawning the pearl necklace that belonged to her mother and getting two-hundred dollars for it. Still, she hated giving away one of the prized and few items that she had from the woman. She walked down the sidewalk, passing various storefronts. The ice cream shop, where birds swooped down to eat food falling from the little fingers of the children seated on the curb. The brick exterior of the bottle shop an old man leaned against, hoping to find the answers to his issues at the bottom of a whiskey bottle. The board store, pharmacy, the barbershop, and finally, the Kildare Island National Bank.
Grabbing the door for an elderly lady who smiled in thanks on her way in, Remi stepped into the bank, her work shoes tapping on the linoleum. Personally, she found the bank's interior to be rather dreary, not having an ounce of decoration anywhere. She walked to one of the open bank tellers, placing the envelope containing her paycheck on the counter. The woman turned to her, looking down at her over the her glasses. Numerous gaudy golden rings adorned her fingers, a matching brooch pinned to her blazer. Remi smiled up at her, not thrown off by the middle aged woman's irritated demeanor. She could fully understand how annoying a long work day could be.
"I'd like to cash this paycheck and pay off this notice bill." She slid the paper warning of foreclosure towards the woman. The bank teller glanced down at the amount outlined on the paper before looking back at Remi, a blank and bored expression on her face.
"I don't think your little paycheck is gonna cover that, hun." The woman spoke down at her condescendingly and yet, Remi didn't let it dampen her mood.
"Oh, I know." Remi dropped her backpack onto the ground, the woman leaning over the desk to see what the girl was doing, the pen between her fingers clacking against the counter. It wasn't often a young girl came in and it was especially rare for one to plop a backpack onto the ground. Remi dug through the bag, pulling out envelope after envelope, full of money. "One thousand in each, I counted." She explained, the woman wide eyed at the amount of money in front of her before looking up to Remi in disbelief. "I've saved for a while." Remi smiled up at the woman.
Somehow, her plan had carried out. After an hour of the bank teller counting cash, and paper work Remi walked home, her backpack and anxiety lighter than that morning. The foreclosure notice was null and void until further notice, and she hoped it would never show up in their mailbox again. The panic in her stomach had dissipated, replaced with guilt and a small amount of shameless self-pride.
Walking up the dirt and gravel driveway to her home, she noticed movement through the blurry glass of the greenhouse. The closer she got, the louder an old blues song became and she remembered the broken window on the far side of the glass building. She peered through the doorway, spotting her grandmother leaning over a pot of pink and red geraniums, water pouring into the rich soil from her watering can. The woman always tended to her plants and flowers when something was on her mind, weighing her down. For the first three months after Peter's arrest, Loretta spent practically every hour of every day in her greenhouse.
"Hey, grandma." Remi greeted, dropping her bag by the doorway. Loretta spun around, startled by the sudden voice.
"God, you scared me." The woman chuckled, pointing over at the spare watering can sitting under a table full of plants. "Help me out would you?" She went back to watering the geraniums. Remi frowned at the woman's back, but obliged nonetheless. The sadness was coming off of Loretta in waves and Remi had to let her know that the house was no longer a problem. While pouring a small stream of water from her can onto a box of growing basil, her mind was elsewhere, the girl trying to choose her words carefully.
"That's perfect, they love a lot of water." The woman spoke sweetness despite the sorrow she felt.
"Hey, Grandma." Remi blurted, instantly mad at herself for speaking up too soon. She was already regretting what she hadn't even said yet. She didn't want her grandmother to think she was headed down a bad path, with the large amount of money she suddenly had access to. "So I deposited my paycheck and some other money, and I payed the house." She explained, letting some water fall into the dirt beneath the chamomile flowers. Loretta smiled appreciatively at the girl, not knowing what she had really done.
"Well, thank you, that helps-" The woman tried her best to be reassuring to Remi. "But I still need to figure some stuff out to pay the rest off." She pursed her lips, wondering how on earth she would come into that much money.
"No, I mean I payed off the house debt." Remi set the watering can on the table of herbs. "All of it. Like-- all of it." She faced the woman. Loretta spun around, confusion laced through her features. Remi noticed how shaky the woman's hands were, much like her own.
"Don't you dare be lyin' to me, child." Loretta pointed a finger at Remi, the famous finger that always came out when she was being scolded. Her index finger was like a lie detector, Remi never could work out a lie that would deceive her grandmother.
"I'm not. I payed it off." Remi reiterated, turning to retrieve the transaction paperwork she took from the bank. Offering the small stack to her grandmother, who set down her watering can and looked through it, her brows slowly lifted from where they were gathered. The woman's lips parted, a shaky breath leaving her lungs and the air blowing out of her mouth. Loretta's breath turned into an elated laugh, wrinkles appearing beside her eyes and smile. Remi had always admired the woman's wrinkles and calloused fingers that still felt soft and loving, it meant Loretta had lived a life full of happiness and smiles.
"I swear to God- I- How'd you do that?" Loretta stumbled over her words, stepping to Remi, pulling the girl into her arms. Remi smiled into the woman's shoulder, leaning her head against her grandmother's as she placed her own watering can on the table beside her.
"I've been saving." Remi fibbed a partial lie, focusing on the truth behind it to not let Loretta catch on. She had been saving the money in her vent, unsure of what to do with it until that day, so it wasn't a full lie. Still, the girl's heart broke lying to one of the most important people in her life. It went against everything she was raised to be, everything she stood for.
As Remi hugged the woman back, Loretta's eyes narrowed for a split second, catching the way the girl's head shook side to side as she spoke. It was a tell that what she said wasn't speaking the full truth, and yet, Loretta simply hugged her tight before holding the girl at an arm's length. She rubbed her thumbs over the girl's shoulders.
"I've got to go to the bank, see if everything's signed and all that." Loretta explained, still shocked and deciding she had to see further proof to believe it. Remi nodded, the woman hurrying to the door before turning back, glancing at the girl. "Water the rest, please." She turned back out, making her way to her truck.
Remi stood in the greenhouse, feeling both immense happiness and deep self-hatred. She mentally shoved away the emotions, focusing only on how pretty the water looked as it came out of the watering can and saturated the dirt beneath the sage plants.
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A/N: Sorry for the months longs break, but I got a job! I work at a daycare and we're short-staffed so Ive been doing 20+ hours of overtime every two weeks so I've been too exhausted to even think about writing or updating. Hopefully as they fill some positions, I'll be able to get back to literally everything else in my life that isn't work.
So Remi just laundered money... please don't follow in her footsteps. But she's doing things she wouldn't have even a week ago. It partly goes against her whole 'soft and kind' personality, but its also because of the fact that she will do anything for her friends and family. How far will she go?
As for the song of the chapter, I have a story about how a ghost gave me the song recommendation if anyone's even still reading. I imagine it as the song Loretta's listening to in the greenhouse. So to start the story, I had this radio growing up that only worked if it was plugged in, no batteries or anything, it HAD to be plugged in. There were a few times where the radio would turn on and play a blues song, waking me up. It was never plugged in, and it would shift through stations right in front of me. I still have no explanation and spirit type things like that have always happened to me, still to this day. I ended up tracking down the song and telling my parents which song it was. Apparently, my paternal great grandmother loved Louis Armstrong and had the exact record that the song was from. She would play the specific song so much that my dad knew it immediately when I played it for him. It's now accepted amongst my family that my dead great grandmother was behind the coolest song recommendation I've ever gotten.