I stretch my arms over my head before rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I glance around the room, my vision slightly blurry due to the throbbing headache.
Fucking hell. I think I'm hungover.
I sit up in bed in order to stretch and it feels like my brain is knocking against my skull.
Yup, definitely hungover.
I then gingerly knead the back of my neck to soothe the achy pain. I must've slept in a weird position for it to be this sore.
The water from the bathroom sink begins to flow from the faucet.
"Hello?" I call out, my voice raspy from the dryness in my throat.
Yoongi steps out of the restroom, coming into my line of sight. He goes to the mini-fridge that resides next to the entertainment center to retrieve a bottle of water. He throws the drink onto the bed, hitting my shin on accident afore pointing to the bedside table. "There's some Tylenol. You're going to need it."
I open the bottle of pills, popping two into my mouth. I unscrew the lid of the water and take a few big gulps, letting the cold liquid soothe my throat. I mutter a small thank you, placing both the bottle and pills on the nightstand.
"I can't really remember anything that happened last night," I disclose, looking down and picking at the skin around my thumb, ashamed.
"I figured you wouldn't," Yoongi responds, sitting down on the edge of the bed, his tone lacking any emotion.
"Did I make a fool out of myself?"
"Well, you called me baby in front of Beck."
I slap my hands over my face. "Oh, god. I'm such an idiot."
"She promised not to say anything about it."
"She's a good person. She won't."
"You better hope not. This isn't the time to make headlines."
I give a curt nod in concurrence.
"Why did you drink when you said that you wouldn't?"
"I honestly only planned on having that one drink I mentioned to Taehyung. Then Beck and I sat at the bar and she bought me one. And a second. And a third. And just...more."
"This is not a vacation. This is business, Audaire."
"I know. It was stupid of me. I should've told Beck no. I should've put work above fun."
"Yeah, you should've."
"I-I'm so sorry, Yoongi."
He sighs but doesn't speak.
"I promise that I won't ruin today for you."
"Can you even get out of bed?" Yoongi wonders with genuine curiosity and faint worry.
"Of course," I state, throwing the covers off of me, swinging my legs to the side, and rising to my feet. "See? I'm fine-Oh, shit."
I sprint to the toilet, falling to the floor and emptying my insides. Yoongi is behind me in a nanosecond, holding my hair back. He whispers comforting words while I continue to vomit.
After twenty minutes, there's nothing left in my stomach. Once I know I'm done, Yoongi draws me a bath, never leaving my side while I soak. He washes my hair too, his touch more delicate than Namjoon's the other night. I presume he's afraid that he may hurt me. However, I'm the one who hurt him.
"I'm sorry," I say as he's applying the conditioner.
"For?"
I pull my knees into my chest. "For everything. Drinking, lying, being hungover, getting sick."
He grabs the showerhead, turning it on to rinse my hair. "It's okay."
"No, it's not. I fucked up bad. You should be yelling-no, screaming at me for this...But you're not. Why?"
"I think puking your guts out is punishment enough."
"I don't agree."
Yoongi sprays me in the face. "Hush."
The water goes up my nose, causing me to cough.
"No more of that. You learned your lesson and now we can move on."
"Can I say one more thing?"
"Mhm," he hums.
"I'm glad we're talking instead of avoiding each other."
"Me too. I'm sorry I left the last time we had a problem, by the way."
"We were both in the wrong, but we're growing together. Isn't that part of a relationship?"
"A healthy one, yeah."
A healthy one.
This is a first.
***
I arrive at Sepulveda Dam, immediately being hustled into a tent for hair and makeup. The members have a separate sector to get ready with their personal team, so I don't have as much as a sneak peek as to what they look like.
Once the makeup artist is finished with me, she sends me over to the stylist.
"Name?" the voguish woman inquires when I reach her.
"Audaire Wilson."
She searches through the extensive rack of apparel before taking hold of a hanger. She then places the outfit in a garment bag.
"The women's changing area is about a hundred yards to the left," she apprises, handing me the clothes.
I thank the stylist and follow her instructions to get dressed. I enter the tent, going to the rear where the last remaining spot is, and close the privacy curtain. I put on the all-black ensemble and to my surprise, it fits perfectly. My measurements were only taken yesterday at rehearsal. I can't believe how fast they arranged this.
Prior to going outside, I pop another painkiller and an anti-nausea pill. I'm feeling a lot better after my bath and speaking with Yoongi. This is more of a precautionary thing.
***
"So how were you this morning?" asks Beck before biting into her apple. The majority of the dancers have gathered in the snack tent while we wait as there are fans in here. It's too hot out there to be anywhere else but where the cool air is located.
"Awful. I'm never touching alcohol again."
She chuckles. "Yeah, you did have quite a bit."
"That's an understatement."
"I want to apologize for last night. I got carried away."
"It's my fault for drinking. I had the ability to stop, but I didn't."
"Next time, let's just have a calm evening. No bars or clubs."
"Great idea."
For the remainder of our conversation, she doesn't bring up Yoongi nor the fact that I referred to him as "baby." I mean, if the roles were switched, I wouldn't bring it up either. It's awkward as hell.
Eventually, the director announces that we're almost ready to start shooting. When the members exit their tent, my jaw drops to the ground. They're absolutely stunning. Particularly Taehyung. He has branch-like designs on his neck with "the shadow like me" written above his cheekbone. His blue hair is now black as well. It must've been colored the previous night or earlier today because I haven't seen it yet. The other dancers take notice of his beauty too, sending googly eyes in his direction. I feel jealousy pool in my veins. I shake it off though.
I'm merely a backup dancer today, I remind myself. Nothing more.
They're all set to begin, so Ye Jun calls us to our places. My heart rate picks up out of nervousness. Millions of people will see this. See me.
I take some deep breaths. I won't allow my anxiety to get the best of me. I'm in control at this moment.
I grab a pair of drumsticks and then go to my spot in the first formation, putting on the most confident expression I can pull.
"Music cue!"
***
Hours and hours later, the music video shoot is finished at last. I'm looking forward to collapsing in my big hotel bed and sleeping for the next century. But unfortunately, I have to leave for the airport at five in the morning. I'm expected back at work on Monday.
Ye Jun has everyone gather around, encompassing him in a circle. "I want to thank all of you for your hard work. Especially you, the dancers. I know that these past few weeks were insane, but you did amazing. Thank you so much. I wish you all luck in your careers."
I can't help but smile, grateful for this opportunity. I'll forever cherish this experience.
***
I'm helping Beck pack up the rest of her things while listening to Addie and Justin bicker.
"No, Justin. You can't steal the robes," says Addie, ripping it out of his hands to put it back in the closet.
He rolls his eyes and groans. "Fine. I guess I'll buy my own."
"Use the money that Big Hit is paying us."
Justin walks away from her. "Whatever."
"You gonna miss all their fighting?" questions Beck.
"I think I am," I reply with a soft laugh. "I'm going to miss every aspect of you guys."
"We'll miss you too," Justin and Addie both tell me.
After the three friends are done packing, I head down with them to the lobby. When we reach the entrance, Beck embraces me. Her shoulders are shaking somewhat and I hear some sniffles. "Remember what you said last night? No cheesiness. So don't cry."
"I'm not crying," she lies.
I pull back, wiping the fallen tears from her cheeks. "It's not a goodbye. It's a see you later, okay?"
She nods.
I then give Addie and Justin a hug, bidding them a safe ride home. I watch as they pile into an Uber and keep watching until they're out of sight.
Following my return to the room, I order food to cheer up and turn on That '70s Show to fill the void of being alone.
***
As I'm stuffing my face with pasta and breadsticks, there's a knock at the door.
"Coming!" I shout, my mouth full.
I open it to see Namjoon standing there. "Oh, hi, Joonie! I didn't realize you guys were back yet."
"We got here a couple of minutes ago. I came to give you the rundown for the morning."
"What's up?"
"Sejin hyung will drive you to the airport and will be with you until you board. When you land, Sungmin hyung'll be there to pick you up. He's the driver I hired for you. He works for the company and has an NDA on file, so you don't need to worry about him saying anything. I also want you living at our house 'til we get back. It will give me peace of mind if you do. I'll know you're safe."
A heartfelt smile appears on my lips. "That's very sweet of you. I hate that I can't stay though. Two weeks is a long time to be away from you."
"It is, but it'll go by in a flash. We'll be home before you know it." Namjoon reaches into his pocket to pull something out. "Here's Jin hyung's card. You can buy food, clothes, or whatever else you might need or want."
My eyes go wide when it's in my hand. This isn't just any card. It's a black card. "Joon, do you know what this is?"
He furrows his brow. "Uh, a credit card?"
"Yes, but...I can't take this," I reply, shaking my head, giving it back to him.
Namjoon shoves the card into my pocket. "You deserve to treat yourself a bit. Especially since we can't be there to do it right now."
I wrap my arms around him. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, baby," he says before planting a kiss on my shoulder.
"Wait, is Jin aware that I have his card?"
"Yes, I didn't steal from Hyung's wallet," he chortles. "He gave it to me to give to you."
"Good. I don't wanna get you in trouble."
"You won't," guarantees Namjoon. "Do you want to sleep with us tonight? The crew left, so we're in the clear."
"That sounds nice. Oh, and will you and the boys sign this?" I ask, retrieving a group photo from my bag and passing it to him.
"What is it?"
"My boss is a fan and since she was kinda pissed at me, I thought I'd give her a little something."
He chuckles. "Alright, anything for you. But you better get employee of the month for this."
Once I'm in the hyung line's room, I invite the others, wanting to be with my boys for as long as I can before I leave. We spend the rest of the night snacking, watching movies, talking, and laughing. I pray to whoever will listen to make this moment last for an eternity.
[AN] I'm sorry this part took a while to get out. I got a little caught up in things in my private life. But are you guys as excited as I am for the Dynamite single? I know it'll be amazing. I'm really looking forward to the Break The Silence movie too!
Don't forget to upvote if you enjoyed and thanks for reading!
[AN #2] Edited 4/26/21