Trigger warning! This chapter deals with sexual assault and child abuse. I don't describe these things in detail, don't worry, but this chapter has adults talking about these things. Be warned.
"Fuck," John says softly. "We need to report this."
I've already got my phone out. "I'm calling Nate."
"I knew it!" John says, his eyes wide. "You are sleeping with her father!"
I don't even care about that right now. All I know is that Elise's boyfriend is probably some kind of sick fucker who put his hands on Rose and I need to make sure she's safe.
"Hey, you can't just call Nathanial!" John protests, grabbing my arm. "There's proper procedure to follow, Carline. I get that it's complicated for you, but we're not even a hundred percent sure what this drawing means. We need to alert the experts. We need to report this. I'm calling Jeff."
"Fuck protocol!" My voice is a lot louder than I meant it to be. I don't give a fuck about headmaster Jeff Charlston right now. "I'm calling Nathan!"
He keeps his hand firm around my wrist and I really don't want to hit him or hurt him, but if he's not going to let go of me soon I don't know what I will do. John may be in his sixties and dressed like Santa, yet that won't make me go easy on him if he is going to keep me from calling Nathan.
"What if Rose was your kid?" I ask John. "Or your grandkid? Wouldn't you want to know this the moment the teachers discover something is very wrong? Would you care about protocols?"
John sighs and drags a hand across his face. "Fine. Call Nathanial." He lets go of me. "I'm calling Jeff, though."
We both press our phones to our ears and I'm relieved when Nathan picks up right away.
"Hey," he says, sounding upbeat. "I didn't expect to talk to you tonight. What a nice surprise."
"I need you to come over to the school." I know I sound panicked, but I can't stay calm. Not now. "Bring Elise. Drop Rose off at Elise's parents. Tell them to keep an eye on her."
"What?" He picks up on my weird mood right away. "What's going on? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Everyone is fine. Nothing happened. It's just... John and I need to show you something." I want to tell him right away, but I'm scared of what he might do. I don't want him running off to hunt down Trevor. It's not that I think he's a violent guy, not at all, and he's not eighteen anymore, but I just don't want him to get in trouble. I'm so angry that I know that if this Trevor guy was right in front of me right now, I would want to hurt him. And Rose isn't even my kid. I would completely understand him wanting to kill Trevor. I can't tell him this over the phone. He'll have to wait until he gets over here. With Elise. So we can calm him down if we need to.
"Caroline, what the fuck is going on?"
"Get over here," I press. "Please. Trust me, you need to get in your car and get the fuck over here, Nathan. And bring Elise."
He hangs up and I know that he's hurrying over here as fast as he can. John is done with his conversation as well and we look at each other for a loaded moment. He sighs and shrugs out of his red jacket so he's in a white shirt and those ugly red pants. He took the hat off a while ago, so he finally doesn't look like Santa anymore. Well, no more than usual.
"Jeff is coming over as well," John tells me, sounding tired. "You messed up, Caroline. Calling the parents is not the first thing you should have done. Not this late on a Friday night when we can't get an expert over here. And once Jeff finds out you're sleeping with one of the parents..."
"John," I say through gritted teeth. "I honestly don't give a single fuck right now. All I care about is making sure that whatever Trevor did to Rose will never happen again. If this was any other kid, I'd do the same thing."
"Really?" John raised his eyebrows at me. "You would have Gracie's mother number programmed in your phone and you'd have no problem calling her late at night at the start of the Christmas break? If you seriously think that the way you're handling this is even remotely professional, you're wrong."
He's right, of course. I just don't care. Fact is that Rose is not just a kid and Nathan is not just the father of one of the kids in my class. He needs to know. Right now.
"Are you gonna tell?" I ask John, suddenly realizing that this might just be the last day I still have a job. "Should I even bother pretending in front of Elise and headmaster Charlston?"
He looks at me with sadness in his eyes. "I really don't want to lose another excellent teacher," he says after a moment of silence. "You're great with the kids and the parents, Caroline. A little too good with the parents, as it turns out. And... no, I won't tell anyone."
"Thank you," I breathe. In the midst of everything, I don't want another thing to have to worry about. It's not even about my job right now, I'm just concerned about Elise finding out like this. It's too soon for me and Nathan to face that kind of pressure and scrutiny. And yeah, okay, I also don't want to be out of a job.
"It didn't take much for me to see that you're with Nathan, though," John warns me. "And I'm pretty sure that Tiffany knows as well. It's only a matter of time before others catch onto it as well. You're both radiating love."
"Love?" I repeat. "We've only been on one date, John."
"One date?" John laughs at that. "I find that hard to believe."
I open my mouth to start defending myself, but the headmaster arrives at that point. John and I show him the drawing and explain about Rose's fits and our conversations with Nathan and Elise. He is just as concerned as we are and to my surprise, he isn't too concerned with following protocols.
"It's Friday night," he says as John protests. "What am I going to do? Call the police? We only have one drawing. Of course I am going to report this, but I agree with Caroline that the parents need to be aware. If it turns out that a few fits and a drawing are all the proof we have, there's no guarantee that anyone is going to able to touch the guy. At the very least we need to warn the parents."
"But-" John protests.
"If someone had called me when my daughter wrote a very disturbing story for the school paper, she might still be alive," Jeff Charlston says. "That's not important right now, though. I will follow protocol tomorrow. Tonight, we're not teachers. We're just humans and we're going to protect that little girl."
John and I are both at loss for words. What happened to the headmaster's daughter? I want to ask him, but he's back to his usual professional demeanor. He helps us put the last of the Christmas decorations in the boxes and wipe the paint off the windows. We're all silent, worried about what is going to happen the moment Elise and Nathan arrive.
Finally, we hear footstep in the hallway. Nathan is the first one at the door and his attention is solely focused on me. I give him a pointed look so he won't mess up our cover, but I knew that if he does mess up, I'm never going to blame him for it. This is bigger than the two of us hooking up. I'd rather lose him and my job than fail to protect Rose anymore than I already did.
Elise is right behind him, looking disheveled and angry. It's obvious both of them have no idea why they are here and that we pulled them away from relaxing on the couch. Nathan is wearing his signature grey sweatpants and a plain black sweater. His hair is still damp from his shower. Elise is in jeans and a large man's shirt, a far cry from her normal poised presence.
"What the fuck is going on?" Nathan demands to know, still looking straight at me.
"Nate," Elise says, putting a hand on his arm. "Calm down. Stop cursing."
He shrugs her off. "I'm not going to calm down until someone tells me why the hell we're here."
"Mr. Storm, Miss Hail," the headmaster says in his deep voice. "Please sit down. We have something of great importance to discuss with you."
All of us pull up chairs so we can sit. Teachers on one side, parents on the other. I want nothing more than to just rush to Nathan's side and put my arms around him. It takes all I have to remain the professional I have to be right now, even though not a single atom in my body is feeling anything remotely kindred to professional right now.
"Miss Collins discovered something that might be able to shine a light on the tantrums Rose has been throwing the past few months," headmaster Charlston goes on. "I think it's best if she explains."
"Really?" Elise asks, rolling her eyes. "It's about those little tiffs again? She's a 7-year-old kid. All of you are making too big of a deal out of this. Now that we allow her to choose her own clothes every morning, she's doing better, right?"
"Yes," I agree with her, trying to keep my voice level. "She has been doing better. It's just that I don't think the dresses themselves are the problem. I think..." I take a deep breath and pull the drawing from my lap. "I found something in the trash tonight that Rose made and I think..."
"What do you think?" Nathan's attention on me is so intense that I almost flinch.
"Just show them," John tells me, sensing how uncomfortable I'm getting.
I unfold the piece of paper and put it on the table. Nathan immediately pulls it toward him and his eyes move over the drawings and the words, taking them all in. The moment the meaning sinks in, he curses and stand up. His fist hits the wall before any of us can react and he cries out in frustration and pain.
Elise is just sitting there, silently mouthing the words on the paper over and over, her eyes wide with disbelief. "Trevor wouldn't..." She shakes her head. "I mean when would he even..."
"You told me he never stays over!" Nathan yells at her, pulling at his hair so hard it must hurt his scalp. "You said New Year's was going to be the first time! What the fuck, Elise?"
"This can't be..." Tears were starting to make their way down her face and her hands trembled. "I swear he never stayed over. Not once. I mean, does this really mean...?" Her eyes rest on my face, trying to figure out if she's coming to the right conclusion.
"We can't be sure," I admit. "I mean, it's just one piece of paper. I just can't think of any other meaning to the words easy access. I hope I'm wrong, but I just can't think of any other explanation."
"Of course that's what it means!" Nathan is so agitated he can't stop pacing around the classroom. I can see he's clenching and unclenching his fists, probably itching to throw stuff across the room. "It makes perfect sense. She started to hate skirts and dresses around the same time you introduced her to Trevor. Her fits are worse when John teaches her than when Caroline does, which probably means she's uneasy around men. She's the same way when my friends stop by." He curses and kicks over a chair. "I'm gonna fucking kill that guy."
Elise gets up, her eyes still wet with tears. Her expression is frightening beyond belief. "Not if I get to him first."
She turns around and starts running. She's out the door before any of us can react and when Nathan finally catches up with her, she's already out of the school. I'm right behind them, unsure if Nathan is going to go with her or restrain her.
"Let me go!" Elise shrieks when Nathan and I both grab one of her arms. "I'm gonna kill him!"
The moment I realize that Nathan has no intention of jumping in his car to find Trevor, I let go of Elise. He's strong enough to handle her on his own. His arms go all the way around her as he keeps her firmly locked in place. She trashes for a few moments before she starts crying uncontrollably. He spins her around so he can hug her properly and they just stand there, clinging to each other.
I back away, feeling like I'm witnessing a private moment. I feel just like when I watched them dance with Rose. They're a family, even if they are divorced. What am I doing, getting involved in all of this? I'm glad that I finally figured out what is going on with Rose, but I feel my heart sink as I realize that there's nothing I can do. I can't even comfort Nathan. He and Elise are going through this together and there's no place for me there. I'm not sure if there ever was. Nathan told me many times he's not looking for a stepmother for their daughter.
I turn back to the school and leave John and the headmaster with Nathan and Elise. I feel like the world is crashing down around me tonight, but I can't implode right now. Rose needs me, even if she's not here. She needs me to make sure that Trevor will never hurt her again. All the faces of guys who have ever put a hand on my knee when I didn't want them to appear before my eyes. The guys who touched my ass in the club without invitation. The way the manager at one of my summer jobs used to undress me with his eyes, that creepy smile on his face. Danny's hand around my throat. Mr. Thompson's cock twitching against me as he grabbed my breasts.
I'm an adult. I can handle myself. I've been handling myself for years now. I can cope with the things men do when they're drunk or horny or both. Rose is just a little girl. She shouldn't have to cope. I pray to God that nothing too irreparable has been done to her. If Elise and Nathan don't kill Trevor, I will.
"Caroline?" I hear Nathan's voice behind me and I turn around to see that it's just us in the hallway. The others are still outside.
"When you go to the police, I want to be there," I tell him, my voice sounding a lot stronger than I feel. "I want to make sure that every detail I remember about what she said to me and the fits and the drawing..." I trail off, forgetting what I wanted to say. "I want to be there."
"Of course." He sounds so calm.
"And then we're gonna cut off his dick and feed it to him."
Nathan crosses the distance between us and puts his arms around me, making me feel safer than I have in hours. It's only a brief embrace because we both know that we can be discovered any second, but it's enough for me to feel better.
"I'm sorry," I tell him, shaking all over when he steps away from me. "I should have dug deeper, I should have talked to her more. I knew in my gut something was going on and I didn't do anything to help her."
"This is not your fault," Nathan grunts, his eyes intent on mine. "None of this is. It's not your job to know these things. You told me and Elise to find a professional for Rose to talk to and we didn't listen. I should have listened to you. I just never expected this..."
"It's not your fault either," I repeat.
"No, it's mine."
We turn around to see Elise standing behind us with John and Jeff. She looks calmer than before, but only a little.
"I'm the one who brought her into his life." She looks up at Nathan. "Let's go home," she says, taking his hand in hers. "Let's go talk to our daughter."
He puts an arm around her and nods. "Let's go."
John, Jeff and I just stand there, staring after them as they get into his car together. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who notices that he opens her door for her and shuts it before heading over to his side. Even now, he's the perfect gentleman. The one I won't let him be around me.
***
Author's note:
I want to make it very clear that while Caroline blames herself for things that happen to her, that is not how I feel about it. No one has the right to force you to do something you don't want. When you tell someone no, they should stop.
And I hope it's clear that what Trevor did is inexcusable. It's not Elise's fault, not Nathan's, not Caroline's, yet they all feel like they are to blame.
I want to make it clear that it's natural to blame yourself when something bad happens, but that doesn't mean that you're actually to blame. Blame the people who did the awful things, not yourself. Sure, maybe you missed a sign, or you could have done something different, but that doesn't mean it's your fault.
Mr. Thompson did something bad and being drunk is no excuse for that. Danny did something horrible, and again, being drunk and hurt is not an excuse for assault. And Trevor... he's a piece of shit that belongs in jail. I want to make this all very clear, because I don't want my readers to think that I agree with everything my characters do, say or feel.
I'm just writing a story. If anything I wrote made you feel uncomfortable, I apologize. I hope you never have to deal with harassment or assault, sexual or of other nature. And if you do, I hope that you get help and have people to support you. The world can be a fucked-up place sometimes.