Petra Ral, a scout hand-picked by Captain Levi Ackerman himself, clung to a spider's thread of life.
Her comrades died beside her, each of their bodies mangled in unholy ways, and she laid motionless at the base of the tree.
There was crimson splatter along the bark, and bile rose in her throat as she realized it was her blood that painted the tree.
She couldn't move and every breath sent shooting pains through her chest; with every breath, she feared it would be her last.
Her vision was blurred with blood and tears, and black splotches grew with every passing second. She could count the seconds as her pulse throbbed in her fingertips.
Why am I not dead? Petra thought. A horrifying thought crossed her mind. What if I already am?
The only sound over the buzzing in her ears is the whiz of an unknown soldier's ODM gear. Maybe someone survived, and maybe they'll help me... maybe I'll survive.
Petra gathered what little strength she had left and cried out to them--she spoke no coherent words, just a frail, guttural cry.
Footsteps crunched over bloodstained grass, and Petra strained herself to keep her eyes open, no matter how great the black splotches grew.
"Never close your eyes," Erwin said proudly as he stood before the Scouting Regiment, preparing them for a mission where they will leave and most will not come back home.
We sat atop our horses, ODM gear secured tightly with multiple straps, and held a firm salute.
No matter how terrified all of us were, we refused to show it. We hid behind a facade of bravery and prayed we'd live another day.
Beside me, Captain Levi was mounted on his black mare. His stoic expression was unfaltering, but the way his knuckles had drained of all colour as he clenched his fist in a salute showed how scared he really was.
He was always cold and uncaring, but a select few people have seen who he truly is--a man who cares deeply for those he loves, and would lay down his own life if it meant his friends got to live until tomorrow.
Erwin continues his speech, saying: "Never close your eyes. If you are laying on the battlefield and you can see the world around you, don't close your eyes--if you close your eyes, you may never see that world again. You are soldiers, all of you, so you will die like soldiers, and soldiers die with their eyes open."
Her eyes began to droop, and a flash of emerald green sends a wave of comfort through her.
"Petra," Captain Levi knelt beside her. "What... hey, keep your eyes open. Are you okay? Can you move?"
"No." As he speaks, the realization of Petra's position finally hits: her chest is arched against the base of the tree, and her legs sprawl behind; the bark digs into her chin.
"Okay," He mutters, scanning her condition up and down. He gnaws his lip in thought before shaking his head and saying, "I need to check if your back is broken... that means I have to touch you, and it will probably hurt."
"Well, just do it and get it over with." She sighs heavily and prepares for the worst. "Please."
The Captain takes a deep breath, and gently lifts her cape, exposing her tattered uniform--it's torn and bloody, and had this been any other situation, she was sure he'd lecture her for her uncleanliness.
Through blurred vision, Petra sees the Captain move and braces herself for his touch.
The Captain's face falls slack as he pulls his hand away. She was too weak to give him a confused look.
"It's... it's pretty bad. I can feel your ribs, and they're broken. You probably have a spinal injury.... I'm sorry, Petra." He whispers, and finally she musters the strength to show her confusion.
"What do you mean?" She whispers.
"I mean you're hurt real bad, and we gotta get you out of here now." Levi says, scanning Petra's state and realizing the only way that they'd both get out of here alive is a miracle.
"But you didn't check yet?" Petra strains herself to turn and look at the Captain, but all she manages to see is his stoic expression drain of colour.
"Yes, I did." He says. "I pressed on your back and spine, surely you felt it?"
"No, you didn't." Tears prickle in the corners of her eyes, the facade of a brave soldier dropping and her true insides show; a young woman with a big heart who is terrified of death--someone who is too young, too good to die.
But good people die everyday.
"Do it again." Her breathing becomes frantic, and tears still well in her eyes. "Push on my back again. I'm sure I'll feel it--please, Captain, do it again."
"No." He says firmly, but his eyes soften when he sees how afraid Petra really is. "Look, I'm gonna get you out of here. You aren't gonna die, not on my watch. I won't let you. Okay?"
Petra manages only a small hum in response as a pain in her chest rises--a pain that wasn't there before.
"Just... do whatever you need. I trust you." She sniffles, but a sense of calm fills her when Levi strokes her cheek and tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear.
He always said my hair was beautiful. He said in some lights it was blonde, and in some lights it was red--but in the perfect light, it was a wonderful combination of strawberry blonde.
When they were alone, Levi loved to fiddle with the ends; he would twirl it around his index finger and watch it unravel, and do it over and over again.
The members of the Levi Squad were the most elite soldiers of the Scout Regiment. They were skilled in battle and strategy, but that wasn't what kept them alive. It was their trust in each other, and that is what kept them around until tomorrow.
Petra had admired Levi from afar for years. He was nearly ten years her senior--no matter how hard he tries to keep it under wraps--but she'd always felt he was different. What it was, she didn't know, but as she watched the Captain, mounted upon his dark mare, through rose coloured glasses, she felt a way she didn't understand.
But as time went on, and Petra moved up in the ranks of the Scout Regiment, her dream of riding her horse alongside Humanity's Strongest finally happened.
Over the course of time, they grew closer--closer than a Captain and subordinate should. But it didn't matter.
"Nothing matters when you're a Scout," Levi told Petra one night as they sat beside a river under a moonless sky. "When you do the shit that we do, you best live your life to the most, 'cause people like us don't last long. That's just the way it is."
Levi began murmuring to himself, but Petra was too weak to even question him. She just prayed that he knew what to do.
"Okay, here's what I'm going to do," Levi said, sighing heavily. Once again he reached toward her and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear gently. Were his touches meant to be a comfort to Petra, or himself? "Your ODM gear is badly damaged and unusable, but even if it wasn't, you wouldn't be able to use it. I can't carry you because you can't move too much, but I have an idea. All you gotta do is stay still and let me do it."
Petra managed only a small whimper in response.
Levi reached down and fiddled with her harnesses, unlatching the straps and pulling them off gently. He pulled the tanks from her belt, and laid them flat on top of each other.
Petra dreaded the thought of moving, but she knew it was the only way either of them would make it out alive.
"It's time for me to move you, okay?" Levi says, his voice holding a softness Petra hadn't ever heard. "I'll be as gentle as I can, but you gotta stay still--one wrong move and this situation could be considerably worse. Do you understand?"
Petra didn't bother wasting what little energy she had left on a simple response; the way she bit her lip, clenched her fists, and braced herself was response enough.
His touch was gentle--even with an engraved frown and calloused hands, he was gentle.
Levi knelt beside her and slipped his forearm in the gap between the tree base and top of her bust. One hand presses squarely between her shoulder blades, the other grips her shoulder, and he lifts her with all her weight supported only by Levi's forearm.
Petra bites back a cry as Levi moves her onto the damaged gear. A striking pain shoots through her chest, but not from the spinal wound. Everything from her hips down was numb, but everything above was on fire.
Once Petra is flat on the make-shift backboard, Levi mumbles a string of curses under his breath.
"What?" Petra manages to say, though it was more breathing than vocalized words.
"Shit, Petra, did you fall on your blade or something?" He asks. Petra tried to sit up in shock, but Levi's hand kept her down. "Don't move. We need to get out of here, but you're bleeding bad and I need to stop it."
Levi reached down and unlatched the strap that crossed the swell of her breasts, and he undid her buttons with haste.
He grabbed the hem of Petra's thin undershirt and rolled it up to the bottom of her ribcage--despite her strength and skills as a soldier, she was thin, so thin to the point her ribs stuck out when she laid flat and the outline of her bones showed through her skin.
Petra hated it. Some women praised her petite figure, but others mocked and said no man would ever be attracted to a woman who looked like her. They said she looked sick, not beautiful.
Levi examined her wounds, and did something Petra didn't expect--he reached to his neck and undid his trademark cravat. He took the white cotton fabric and folded it into a square.
"If checking your back didn't hurt," Levi mumbled. "This sure as hell will."
Giving Petra little time to prepare herself, Levi pressed the folded cravat to her belly and she let out a blood curdling scream.
The touches that once were gentle and craved now felt like a white-hot branding iron on ivory skin.
Though it pained him greatly, Levi ignored her wails and continued treating her wound.
Had this been another situation, one where Petra's life didn't dangle by a spider's thread, Levi would've been thrilled to be in such an intimate position--maybe one with hesitant touches, shy smiles, and a love story known only to them.
But this isn't a situation with hesitant touches, shy smiles, and a forbidden love--no, this was a situation made of bloody touches, cries of pain, and a story that may never be told.
The adrenaline that had been budding inside Petra was finally drained, and the sudden rush of pain was almost more than she could bear.
The black splotches grew across her vision and she struggled to keep her eyes open. Erwin would be ashamed of me; a soldier should die with their eyes open, not like this.
By now, Petra couldn't focus on anything. She barely noticed when Levi lifted her off the ground, supporting only the damaged gear in which she laid upon--she didn't notice when he tied her cape around both her and the tank to keep her secure.
He began to run, but by now Petra had fallen numb. There was no pain, she felt nothing but the steady thumping of Levi running through the forest.
Petra struggled to keep her eyes open, and soon all she could see was a blurred image of the sky and tree line. Tears streamed down her face, but still she felt nothing but a steady thump, thump, thump.
"You're going to be okay," Levi said as he ran faster and faster--faster than he'd ever run before. "I swear it, you're going to be okay. But you gotta stay awake--please, darling. You gotta stay awake, please stay awake."
Darling. That was the last word she heard before the sky and trees faded into darkness.
---
hello! I'm M, the author of this fic. There won't be many author's notes but i wanted to put one at the first chapter to clarify a few things. If something is written in italics, it's usually a memory scene or just something i wanted to emphazise (i use italics a lot, they're pretty and i like them). this is also an established relationship story so levi and petra had already had the beginnings of a relationship, but it will develop more over the story. i made it an established relationship because there are more aspects of the story that i want to focus on besides their relationship, but that is a major part. this is my first aot fic so i'm still trying to figure out characterization, and not every character will be exactly as they're portrayed in the anime/manga. the biggest difference will be petra's character because we didn't get much content with her other than the like 3 episodes she was in and that didn't give us much backstory, so i had to improvise (honestly i wanted to give her realistic depth and family ties, so most of her personality and family life that wasn't explained in the show will be based off my experiences but adjusted to the context of the story). also i'm sorry for how long this note is, i just wanted to say all this, and i swear these won't be at the end of every chapter (and every chapter won't be as long as this one, this is the longest one so far. they're usually about half the size of this chapter) anyways, i hope y'all liked it! please comment your thoughts or any critiques, your help is greatly appreciated!!
~ M