I'd only ever been to the void once in my life, and that had been on accident too. I'd fudged up some conversions on a teleportation spell and wound up stuck there for over six hours before finally gaining the courage to air message my mother to come and get me.
And although this section of the void seemed to be snuffing out my magic making any sort of air messaging impossible, at least there was a floor here. It may have been a dusty, very small patch of floor, but Mallory could pace here, and that seemed to keep her from complaining too much.
Of course, she was still complaining.
"Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. We are never getting out of here. We're going to die in here. Or, no, they're going to find Dr. Alvarado's body in the morning, the police are going to launch an investigation leading them directly to us, they're going to pull us out of this shit hole, and we're going to die in jail."
"Oh, would you calm down, Mallory?" I said, massaging the crick in the side of my neck. "We've got the Old Stone. Plus, Rebecca's keeping watch, remember? She'll pull us out of here any moment now."
She snorted.
"What?" I asked. I'd had just about enough of Mallory's snark. Rebecca was my friend now (I think) and what kind of friend would I be if I let Mallory diss her behind her back?
"Nothing. I just think it's cute that you actually think Miss Becky is going to be able to pull her head out of those cotton candy clouds it loves so much long enough for her to even realize that we're gone. Now would you like to help me look for a way out of here?"
I thought back to all the pointed shit Mallory'd been saying today, and the pieces started to slide into place. "You knew."
"What?" She asked, distracted, turning her back to me, pretending to poke through the void looking for an escape.
"You knew about Rebecca's learning disability this whole time, didn't you?"
She stiffened. "Come on. Focus Cass."
"Wow..." I shook my head, in the kind of awe that a villager has for the monster that lives in its woods. "Unbelievable."
"Whatever—"
"No. You can't just 'whatever' this and walk away from it! Not this time." I crossed my arms. "Explain it to me."
"Explain what, Cassandra?"
"Why you feel the need to be so mean to everyone and everything that crosses your path, Mallory." Since she wanted to say my name like that. "There has to be a reason, right? Tell me what it is cause I sure as hell don't understand."
"And why should I be easy for you to understand?" She asked, spinning around to face me. "Why should I be easy for anyone to understand?" She was stepping toward me, and unconsciously, I backed up.
What was it about this girl that I found so intimidating?
"That's all it is, politeness." She continued, her voiced filled with spite. "It's folding yourself in, rounding off your edges so that you're an easier pill to swallow. People...they look at me and that's what they expect. A meek, inoffensive Thai girl. And when that's not who I am? When I say something too loud or too quickly? When I'm not a model of curtesy and femininity because, god forbid, I ruin the fantasy they have in their head of asian women? I'm rude. A bitch. Mean."
"That doesn't excuse you from being a horrible person."
"I'm not asking to be excused! I never said I was a good person. What I said is that I'm tired. I'm so tired of that shit. I'm saying...fuck them. Fuck them, fuck her, and fuck you, Landry."
It was anger that I grasped first, a retort, but that soon melted away to something softer. Understanding.
Because despite what I thought about her at first, I understood this girl. What she was saying, what she meant. About people automatically deciding who you are and how you should act just from looking at you. And I knew what it meant to be reproached for not behaving in a way that fits that image. I was a black, lesbian witch. Of course I did.
In a way, I did the same thing Mallory did. I dyed my hair, wore all black and way too much eyeliner. I openly practiced magic without a license. And I did it all to prove that I wasn't ashamed of existing, as much as the world wanted me to be.
But who was I proving that to? Rebecca, the girl I was ashamed to like? Idiots like Josh, who I gave the power to drive me crazy with just an off–handed comment? Mallory, the girl I ridiculed for reminding me too much of myself?
Or was it me?
I laughed, causing Mallory to frown.
"What?"
I shook my head. "Nothing, its just..." I laughed again and looked up at her. "I think I just realized what a hypocrite I am. I...am...a fraud."
Her smile was small and unsure, her eyes squinted in concern. "You really like racking up those felonies, huh?"
I snorted, sinking to the ground. I was tired of standing. "Yeah."
She stared at me for a bit, eyeing the spot beside me. She bit her lip, debating whether or not she was willing to risk getting her skirt dirty. She took a step toward me. "I didn't know Rebecca had a learning disability, though."
I leaned my head back against the wall. "You didn't?"
She shook her head, at last deciding, squatting down to sit beside me, her palms making circles on her knees. "I mean, I heard she cheated on the test. And I was pissed because every one else studied their asses off for that thing. And if it was anyone else, if it was me? I would have never heard the end of it. It would've been...not so genius asian jokes from here to graduation. But...maybe...maybe I went too far?"
"Progress!"
She bumped my shoulder with hers, but didn't move back all the way, and I could still feel her against me.
"God." She yawned, letting her head fall onto my shoulder. "This day has been way too fucking long."
"More like not long enough." I turned toward her. "The witching hour's coming up. Soon, I'll have the blood of my best friend and my favorite teacher on my hands."
Mallory looked up at me. "We all performed that spell."
"No," I said, shaking my head. "No, I should've known. I'd never performed a spell that big. I knew the risks, but I took them anyways."
"Why?"
"Hm?"
"Why did you do the spell?
"Because..." I started, furrowing my eyebrows. It wasn't a question that I had asked myself before. "Because I wanted to impress you."
...Oh.
Well shit.
She blinked at me a moment before her mouth widened into a smirk. "You...what?"
Oh my god. How had I not realized it before? Was I completely head over heels for Mallory Mekaswan? How deep did my self denial run?
I couldn't let her know that. Oh god, she would destroy me, wouldn't she? I shook my head. "No...no, I—"
She stopped me mid sentence with her mouth to mine. I froze in confusion.
She pulled back and gave me a once over, her dark eyes roving my face. "You good?"
I nodded eagerly, blinking slowly, my mind moving even slower. "Uh—huh."
"And this is...okay?"
"Yup."
She smiled again. "Good." She grabbed my cheeks with her hands and pulled my face to hers. Her lips were soft and she smelled like vanilla and citrus and I breathed her in deep.
I braced one of my hands against the cool roughness of the concrete and steadied the other on her waist, just feeling the softness of her skin from the sliver of flesh exposed by her shirt coming untucked from her skirt.
I was feeling so much, so much at once, a balloon expanded in my chest, and then suddenly so much was too much and my brain left my body completely, and all concepts of time and consequences went with it. A beam of light, soft and warm fell upon us and—
"Cass?"
That was no metaphorical beam of light. I broke away from Mallory, only to see that she was frowning right back at me. If she hadn't spoken, then...
"Cass. What the hell are you doing down there?"
I looked up to find none other than my own brother leaning through the circle of light cut into the blackness of the void above us.
"Jesse?" I asked, squinting into the blackness.
He squinted right back, bracing himself on the edge of the cut out with his hands. He leaned in deeper to get a better look. "Is that...is that Mallory with you?"
I looked back to the girl in my arms and up to the circle in the sky. I scrambled to my feet and coughed.
Mallory, on the other hand, took her time rising to her feet. She dusted her self off and shook out her hair. "In the flesh." She smiled tightly between to two of us. "You want to help us out of here, or..."
He quickly lowered a hand into the void, which Mallory took into her own graciously. After a brief struggle, he managed to pull her all the way through the opening and into the world of the living. They then turned back to look at me.
"You ready?" Mallory asked through that sly grin of hers.
I looked around at the void. A pocket of peace away from the chaos. I could stay here forever and imagine that the world outside of this one no longer existed.
I turned the Old Stone that I had shoved into my pocket, that I had been avoiding looking at, over in my hands. Under the beam of light that drifted down from above, the purple stone shimmered and shifted, pulsing with energy beneath my fingertips.
I pocketed it and looked upwards, pointedly avoiding Mallory's eyes.
"Come on, baby bro." I reached up and grabbed Jesse's hand. "Put those dumb lacrosse arms of yours to use for once and get me the fuck out of here."