Camila's POV
"Hi", I said when I opened the door for Shawn. He had called before and told me he was coming over to talk.
"I'm sorry".
His eyes looked soft and his voice was like syrup. I couldn't be mad at him. I never was actually. I knew he was going to understand why I hadn't told him anything sooner or later.
"I know".
I caressed his cheek and then moved out of the way to let him in.
"What happened?", I asked him, sitting beside him on the couch with my legs curls underneath me.
"They're dating", he breathed out still in disbelief.
"Yeah", I chuckled because I already knew that.
"No, but like... they're officially dating now. Apparently their romance was very new when my dad found out about the cancer, so he broke things off with her because he thought it was for the best, but Gina didn't go anywhere and they kept talking".
"That's so sweet".
"Yeah. So, today my dad called her to break thing off again after we heard what the doctor said, but she refused... again".
"How do you feel?", I asked him running my finger through his hair because I knew that helped him relax.
"I'm ok. I didn't like that he didn't tell me about it at first but now I get it".
"He was afraid".
"Yeah..."
"How do you feel? About what the doctor said"
"I don't know... I- I don't wanna talk about it".
"Fine, don't worry. But I'm here if you wanna talk, ok?"
"Ok", he said and leaned in to kiss me because we hadn't so far and I was already going crazy about it.
"Is Gina with your dad now?"
"Yes, why?"
"My friend Mandy just moved in with her boyfriend and they invited us for dinner today. Would you like to go? It'd be just for a couple hours".
"You hadn't said anything", he said confused.
"She just called actually. She's... a lot, but you'll like her".
"Uhm... Ok, let's go".
I hadn't been at Sebastian apartment before and I was impressed. As a lawyer, he could afford living in Manhattan with an incredible view of Central Park and now my best friend was enjoying it as well.
"So nice to meet you", Mandy said to my boyfriend, eyeing him from head to toe. He chuckled nervously next to me. "I've heard a lot about you".
"Good things, I hope", he replied.
"You wish", she said and turned around to pour us some drinks.
Shawn looked at me with curious eyes and I just shrugged, but then it hit him.
"She knows", he whispered later and I nodded. He didn't seem to care much about it and just laughed it off.
"Hi, man. Hi, Camila", Seb greeted us when he came out of their bedroom after changing clothes.
"This is Shawn", I said introducing my boyfriend.
"Thank you for inviting us", he said.
"Thank you for coming", Seb replied. "I'm glad I'm not alone with these two anymore. One is enough".
"I heard that", Mandy said returing with beers for everyone.
"I know, sweetie", her boyfriend said unbothered.
We sat at the table to eat the take out sushi my friend had ordered. She wasn't a great cook, but she was an amazing costumer for many restaurants downtown. Seb asked Shawn about his work, hobbies and other stuff. He was fascinated about my boyfriend's job because he ran the photography club in his high school back in the day. For the most part, I just thought Seb was happy he had someone to hang out while me and Mandy were together.
Mandy had been suspiciously quiet tonight and that wasn't good. She's a very talkative, gossiping and intrusive person, and her silence wasn't a good sign. I locked eyes with her trying to figure out what was going on and she just smirked at me before turning her attention to Shawn.
"So, Shawn. There haven't been any other misunderstanding, right?"
Oh no...
Shawn almost choked on his food but pulled himself together quickly to answer my friend.
"Not at all", he said and stroked my thigh under the table.
"Good. I just wanted to make sure, because, you know, communication is key".
"I know", he nodded with a smile.
"How's the salon?", I asked her changing the topic.
She went off talking about the wonders of her job. I knew that was her favorite topic to discuss and she didn't seem to notice I had done it on purpose, I just wanted to save my boyfriend.
"I think your friend doesn't like me that much", Shawn said when we were walking to his car.
"No, no", I said. "I'm sure she does. She's just being protective of me".
"Well, at least her boyfriend likes me", he laughed while he walked around the car to get on the driver side.
"I like you more", I said when we were inside the car.
"You better".
...
When December arrived Manny was at his lowest. The chemo had taken most of his energy and his inmune system was deteriorating. I stopped my visits because I didn't want to infect him with some virus I could get at the university. We still talked on the phone regularly and even though he wasn't feeling all good, he still had a pretty good sense of humor and mood. I guess having his son and his girlfriend, Gina, around was helping him get through this.
Gina's 15 year old son, Ian, had a bit of rough time with the idea of his mom dating, but it all went away when he met Shawn. I didn't know the kid, but Shawn said it reminded him of himself and they had hit it off very quickly. Ian's dad wasn't around and he didn't have a male figure in his life rather that his grandpa that lived in Seattle and didn't see him very often. They had spent Thanksgiving together while I went to my parents' house. Shawn and I met later and spent the night together.
Shawn was visibly sad but he tried not to show it. He was tough and didn't want to let Manny know that he wasn't doing good. He didn't want to worry his dad, but I couldn't understand why he didn't talk to me. I had tried before and every time he pushed the question away, but I wasn't giving up just yet.
"It says here that a blizzard is coming", Shawn commented looking at his phone while I was answering emails.
"When?"
"Next Thursday". It was Monday today.
"Is it bad?", I asked him.
"Looks like it. I'll have to get some candles and groceries for my dad, just in case".
"How is he today?"
"He was dizzy this morning, but he was doing better now", he told me.
"And you?", I tried to get something out of him.
"I'm ok", he said with a smile and stood up to kiss me. "I'll go. Call me if you need anything".
I was worried about him. I knew getting all his emotions to himself wasn't healthy. I just wished he was talking about it with someone, his mom or sister perhaps.
On Wednesday, the storm was been advertised on every TV channel and it looked like it was going to be awful. But more awful than that was the fact that Manny had caught a cold and wasn't doing so well. The moment he got a fever, Shawn rushed him to the hospital and I sat by his side while we waited for the number of exams the doctors had run on him.
"It's just a cold, but with your condition we can't take it slightly. I'd like to keep you here until we are sure you're back on track", Dr. Kholi said and Manny sighed.
"But there's a storm coming", Shawn pointed out. "The place will be full".
"I know you're worried, Shawn", the doctor said. "But this is the safest place to be right now. Imagine your dad gets worse overnight, it will be hell trying to get here in the middle of the storm".
I held his hand to comfort him. We both knew the doctor was right.
The hospital staff moved Manny to a room and we stayed with him until visiting hours were over. Gina made it just in time to say goodnight and we had to leave. We drove Gina to her place and then headed to mine.
"Are you coming in?", I asked Shawn.
"I don't know..."
"Come", I said, this time as an order.
I wasn't letting him stay alone in his apartment, worrying sick about his dad when I could try to make things easier for him. Classes were suspended due to the storm, so I just had my boyfriend and his dad to care about.
Shawn took a shower while I called my parents to make sure they were alright and ready for when the storm arrived. They weren't scared of it and I wasn't either, to be honest. We had faced much worse when we used to live in Miami while I was a kid.
I went to check on Shawn when he didn't appear on my living room. I found him sat on the edge of the bed, just on his boxer briefs, tiny drops of water still falling from his curls.
"Shawn?", I called him softly but he didn't speak. I moved closer and notice the silent sobs coming out of his mouth. "Baby".
"I can't lose him", he said looking at me with red eyes.
"You won't", I said and I was wrapping him between my arms in a heartbeat. I stood between his legs and he cried against my chest. I held the back of his head with one hand and rubbed his back with the other. "He'll be alright. He'll be ok", I whispered again and again while he endured his catharsis.
This was the moment I was afraid of, the moment he couldn't contain his fears anymore and exploded out of his chest making him shake like he was doing now. I kissed the top of his head, I whispered sweet things in his ear, I held him close while my own tears were running down my face.
"I'm sorry", he mumbled later.
"No, don't be sorry", I told him. "You don't need to be strong with me. It's ok to be scared, it's normal, you hear me?"
He nodded and placed his face on my chest one more time and he stood there until his breathing became regular again. It broke my heart to see him like this, but I wasn't surprised it had happened. He needed to face his emotions because they were going to find a way out one way or another. I was glad I had been here now that it happened.
"Get dressed or you'll get sick too and we don't want that", I said brushing my own tears away from my face.
"I thought you liked me like this", he joked in the middle of this situation and I loved him for it.
I loved him?
He stood up to get his clothes while I spaced out going over that last thought. I watched him get his sweatpants and t-shirt but I wasn't really paying attention.
"Thank you", he said coming back to me and kissing me, taking me out of my trance.
"I told you I'm here for you", I said after blinking repeatedly.
"I know", he breathed out.
This time he hugged and I placed my head on his chest, listening to the beat of his heart. I felt so safe in his arms, and I had the idea he felt the same way in mine.