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◇° CHAPTER 4: Carol °◇
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To be one with another.
And watch them grow,
It remains a wonder,
How another grows inside another.
To hear one call you giver of life.
To see them need you like no other.
Such are mysteries,
When a mother is with child.
~mirthykayla
"How many times am I supposed to buy a...ball?" I asked confused.
"Stop acting out! The first one was bought by dad, and the second one by me. It's your turn." Hazel giggled.
"What's your brother doing with his balls? And why is he telling you not me? You're hours away!" I was going through the store journals.
"The ball gets old, Mom. And he asked me because I owe him a favour, and I'm telling you because you owe me one...Mom, I have to go. I'll call you after work."
I sighed, "Fine. I love you, have fun and be safe."
"I love you too, get Tony his basketball." She blew a kiss through the line and hung up.
"Boss, a customer..." Steve, my stylist employee, nodded towards my office door. I stood from the desk and followed him outside.
That was the last time I heard from my daughter, almost an hour before she had that accident.
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"How is she?" Michael asked the doctor.
This question has gotten tiring because we get the same response every day...she's stable.
But this time it was supposed to be different, they took her for a brain scan.
The doctor kept a straight face, "She's not as responsive as someone who's waking up in a few hours but we're not looking at the worse case scenario."
I don't even want to know her name, I don't want to hold a grudge if Hazel doesn't make it. Michael even has her number.
She was always straight with us from the beginning, she says there's no better way of telling people bad news.
She continued, "She responds to pain, but not light. If you remember the first few tests we ran, her left pupil showed more brain injury than the right pupil and now she's showing signs of recovery. Don't get your hopes high, she's not suffering from irreversible damage but she might still wake up ten years from now. Nobody ever knows with comatose patients." She gave us a tight smile.
"Does she respond to sound?" I asked hopefully.
"No. Not yet." She answered.
"Thank you." Michael put his hand on the small of my back and we walked in her room.
Her wounds have healed and she's left with a deep scar right above her top lip. The hospital kept her hair short after the surgery.
Tony was already inside, playing with his PSP and talking to his sister. He never liked to hear the doctor's report. He said she should at least try to act a little hopeful.
In her defense, she was always honest with us, not selling us dreams. And I loved that about her.
"Hey son." Michael greeted him and sat beside him. I sat on the other side of the bed.
"Sure dad. What did the doc say? Good news only and make it one sentence. " He said not looking up from his game.
Michael glanced at me then back at Tony, "Uh...she's getting responsive and she's healing."
"Told ya." Was Tony's reply looking at his sister and smirking before going back to his game.
"You told her what?" I asked intrigued.
"That we're going home soon." He didn't look up as he answered.
"It might take a while." I told him and took hold of Hazel's hand.
"I don't think so. She knows Matt misses her and he's going to move on if she doesn't wake up SOON! AHH noooooo." He startled us. I assume he lost in the game he's playing because he put his PSP down and looked at his sister.
While I'm glaring at Tony and waiting for him to apologise, "Dad..." he called.
And Michael responded, "Yes, I see it." His voice broke. I looked at both of them in confusion and looked where their eyes are fixated.
Hazel's hand, the one inside my palm. It was moving a little, squeezing mine.
"I think I startled her." Tony dragged his chair closer to the bed. "Haze, I'm sorry." He took her other hand.
Michael stood, "The doctor said-"
I cut him off before he could talk, "The doctor said she's getting better." We shared a knowing look and I spoke.
"Hazel, I'm glad you can hear us. Don't try too hard, you might put more stress on yourself alright? The doctor said you're getting all better. She said your whole body may feel a little uncomfortable because you've been laying down for a while but besides that, you're coming along very well." I squeezed her hand softly.
"Is she still moving?" Michael asked.
I shook my head no and he looked at her. "You have no idea how happy I am to have you show another sign of life besides your chest moving. You have an ugly scar on your lip." He and Tony laughed about it. If Hazel was awake now she'd stick her tongue out at them and stomp away.
"We miss you daughter, but we're in no rush to see you. Take your time healing. Okay?" Michael leaned in and kissed her forehead.
I never understood why he calls his children son and daughter, as if they don't have names.
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I walked in from work and went straight to the shower. This was my daily routine before preparing for dinner.
"Michael?" I called for my husband. Well, he wasn't really a legal husband because we only bought rings and vowed to each other. No priest or legal paperwork. I never understood the concept of marriage so he insisted we do it this way just to make him happy. It was fun so I couldn't say no.
"Michael?" I called again because he didn't answer. I decided that maybe he's not back so I shut the bathroom door and took a shower.
I soon made supper and put his food in the oven. Hazel was with Michael's parents for the summer, leaving the house all to us.
After I finished my dinner I decided to call Michael. The phone rang but he didn't pick up the first time, the second time it was answered...just not by him.
"Yes?" A woman picked up his phone.
At first my heart skipped a beat, then my brain registered. "Can I please talk to Michael?"
"I think he's in the shower, hold on...Mike! What are you doing in there?" There was a pause and it fueled me, I became angry, felt rage.
"Oh, he's using the toilet." She giggled.
"Tell him his wife called, thank you." I put an emphasis on the word wife.
I didn't know what to do with my own rage so I went to his workspace, the other garage where he had his mechanic tools. There was a punching bag in there and I decided to channel the energy into that.
I have no idea how long I was in there, the anger refused to dissipate. It kept growing and I knew that if I stopped punching the bag, he'd come back to a destroyed house. So I kept going and going and going until I collapsed on my knees crying.
I laughed at myself, I was mentally patting myself on the shoulder for dissolving my anger into sadness. I cried and laughed because I was going through the very same thing that I taught my students every day.
It's easier said than done, because the more I thought about it my tears turned into a feeling of vengeance. I knew what was next and how I needed to handle it. So I sat on the couch in the garage and thought thoroughly about how I should handle this.
I don't remember falling asleep but I woke up to Michael carrying me back inside. As soon as I realised, I pushed off him.
"Careful, you'll fall!" He said putting me down. "Listen, before you say anything...let me explain." He raised his hands in front of me.
I did exactly that because I know this is what they say when in fact there's nothing to explain any different from what it seems. He cheated on me.
But I gave him a chance, I didn't want him to make my anger an excuse. I stood there and folded my arms, waiting.
"I-" He drew a breath causing me to raise an eyebrow. "I got drunk with the guys after work." He ran a hand across his face.
I kept quiet and walked inside the house. He came in behind me and closed the door. I sat on the sofa and he sat across me.
"I didn't want to come home to an empty house, honey." He coed.
I kept my mouth shut because whatever I was going to say, he would use it to shift the conversation.
"I had two hours before you got home and I decided to grab a few drinks with them. Then I made a mistake..." He closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.
"Careful what you say next." I leaned back and somehow I felt better. He was here and he was explaining himself. It made me feel better.
"Honey, you know I love you." He stood and knelt before me.
I tilted my head and watched him lie to me. I shook my head, wondering for how long had he been lying about loving me.
"Did you have sex with her?" I asked, unmoved by his little lie.
He stood and sat next to me. His head hanging in shame.
"Yes." His answer was low but audible.
"Was it the first time?" I anticipated a no but hoped for a yes.
He paused then answered, "Yes."
I realised, him pausing and thinking about his answer meant something else.
"Is she the only one?" I turned my body to face him.
His eyes found mine and his face was twisted in sympathy.
"I guess what I want to know is, is she the first woman you cheated with? Is she the only one you've had sex with while you're in a relationship with me?" I chose my words carefully, making sure not to mention marriage because he would've made the conversation about my dislike for signing my life away to another man.
I guess one would say, I know something others don't.
"No." Was his whispered answer.
That's disappointing, "Well, how many of them are there and how did you manage to keep them from me like that?" This was getting both exhausting and intriguing at the same time.
"Caroline please!" He yelled and stood. "You're supposed to shout at me and slap me or something! I can't- you're so calm, you're scaring me."
"I'm pregnant, Michael and that's what's scary. I forgot my own pregnancy when I went out there to relieve my rage on that punching bag. I wasn't even thinking about it all this time until you mentioned how calm I was. Now, are you gonna tell me how many there are or should I just pack my bags and leave?" I stood to face him.
"I thought you weren't sure. Your appointment is-"
I cut him off, "Yesterday, Michael. My appointment WAS yesterday." I strode to our room and packed my clothes.
"Carol, It's late. I'll sleep on the couch and you can leave early in the morning." He said holding me by my elbow.
I pulled out of his grasp, "It's already early in the morning. Goodbye." I walked out of the room, out of the house and into my car.
"Where are you going this late? Carol!" He stood at the door, watching and yelling at my car driving away.
I didn't even think about where I was going. I just ended up two hours away from Michael and 5 minutes away from Hazel. My mind took me there but I decided against waking them up. It's dramatic. I decided to book a hotel for the night and then surprise them with a summer visit after sunrise.
Michael's parents were good people and sometimes even good people raise asswipes. Spending the summer with them wasn't a bad idea.
That morning I told Michael my plan to stay at his parent's house until I figured out where Hazel and I will be staying. I told him I'd have it figured out before summer ends and that I don't want to make Hazel change school.
His reply? "You seem to have been thinking about this all night."
I replied annoyed, "Damn right, you brute. Why wouldn't I? My husband cheated on me and now I have to explain it to our daughter."
He texted back within seconds, "I'll tell her myself." I expected him to point out that we weren't actually married but he didn't.
"Good. Now, if you come here to disturb our summer...it'll be the last time you see us." I left my phone in the charger and joined the family in making lunch.
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Are Carol and Mike
still in love?
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