its been a year,
precisely 369 days
and for some reason I still have you floating in my mind
and unfortunately,
my heart
I remember the day after we agreed to stop seeing each other,
contact essentially cut
and here we were,
two-hundred miles apart and two halves of the same broken heart
I didn't get out of bed until 7pm
the sun was set
my stomach grumbled for hours
the point the ache felt normal
I couldn't turn back from this storm,
the waves turning into a riptide
I stumbled out of bed,
into the fall chill and cold floors,
through the darkness,
into the closet
A glass bottle with my fingers swirled around,
there's a reason I won't touch whipped cream vodka again
half the bottle down
clambered back to bed,
a piece of bread as filler against the stomach acid bubbling below
more sleep,
hunkered over the toilet,
less sleep,
engulfing the trash can,
wide awake,
sad again,
or maybe empty (?)
I feel like I've known you before,
maybe a lifetime away
...maybe that's why I can't push you out of my head,
or my heart