1st of October , few days from now it's Gun's birthday he knows that he told Gun that he didn't give him a birthday gift but of course he will still give Gun something. But due to unfortunate circumstances he still haven't bought anything for Gun. He's schedule for this week is so packed that almost everyday he wokes up at 7 then got home either 11 or 12 or much later than that. He didn't even have a chance to talk to Gun this week. He's really busy that even staying at GMM building like he used to do before ,he can't do now. He's very exhausted and the month is just starting but he feels like his body is about to pass out because of exhaustion.
Walking inside the Grammy building he was greeted by some of the guards and other staff ,he also greeted them back. He will just be quick, just tell something about P'Godji and he'll leave after. He's filming a new series but the location is in the province so he really needs to be quick, so by 2pm he already arrive at the location.
Soon as he saw Godji he tells her what he needs and ask her a favor, he also tells her that he will be gone for 1-2 episodes of School Rangers this month because of his schedule. He can't attend it for the mean time
“ is that all? I'm sure P'Tha will understand it's as if you'll just play there? ”
“ thank you P' it's just my schedule is really full as of this month I'm sorry ”
“ no worries, you can go now you need to catch the next train if you want to arrive there before dawn ”
“ yes yes P' , bye P' thank you very much-- ” Off is cutted with his words when a warm embrace from his back stop him
“ papii! You're here! Are you free now? ” He looked at Gun, he was smiling and expecting that Off will stay but Off knew he really needs to leave.
Because of his schedule he rarely talk or even call Gun, he really misses the boy but he can't squeeze in some time for him and he knows Gun is upset about it he's not talking or sulking at him because he knows it's his work.
“ sorry Nong Gun, I just stop by here to tell something to P'Godji but I need to go now ” Gun slowly remove his hug from Off's waist. Off didn't want the look on Gun's face coz he knows once he saw that face he will not able to go to the shoot
“ you've been busy really lately, but I'm sure you'll go to my party right? ” Gun asked smiling at him, he doesn't want Gun to be sad but also he doesn't want Gun to expect that he was coming coz even him, he didn't know when will their shoot in the province will be done and even if they finished early he also didn't know if he can make it on time
“ speaking of that ” Off haven't finish what he is saying but he knew, Gun already knows what he is about to say. His shoulders is down and his smile faded. Fuck he didn't want to see Gun like this if he could just cancel but he couldn't
“ ... You can't? It's fine! I know you're working but you need to buy me something when you come back okay? ” In a quick click Gun's expression changes he knows it's just one of Gun's mask but he can't do something about it this time
“ I'll just make it up for you okay? I really need to go, bye Gun! ” Off literally run outside the building and hopped in his car and go to the train station.
Off arrives at the location earlier than he expected, he already talked to the director that if they can able to finished the work before October 4 but the director told him that it depends on the circumstances but they will try to finish the work before the date Off said, they just need to take a few scenes from the province and the setting will be back to city.
Off worked his ass off, he make sure that if it's his scene he needs to do his best, he don't want to take 2 or more takes because they also need to shoot different angles so if he or his co-star will make a mistake it'll take them too much time that Off didn't want at this moment. He wants to finish his scene soon as possible so he can leave for Gun's birthday.
---
October 4
7:00am and Off just finishes his scene. He looks very exhausted, his eyebags are covered with concealer but you can see how dark his under eyes is, for the past 3 days Off haven't slept enough his longest sleep for that days is only 4 hours. He wanted to finish first so the director make an exception for him, they shoot first the scenes where Off is needed, he was very thankful for that because even the other staffs needs to work hard like him, he was also thankful that the others really understands his reason.
“ Off ” the director called him
“ yes P'? ” he's really dizzy right now because of lack of sleep but it's worth it if he can attend Gun's birthday
“ you're done for this day you can go now ” The director smile at him, he saw how Off work really hard for the past few days, he didn't expect Off will nailed all the scenes in just a short amount of time. He knew Off is nearly on his limit but I think love can really conquers all? Off exceed his expectations that the director set for him and the director is very happy about the result.
“ really P'? ,thank you I'll go now-- ”
“ Don't you want to take a rest first? You haven't even take a nap ” Off just smile at him
“ no need P' I'm in a hurry, thank you again P' ” Off give a wai and leave with his manager
The director just shook his head
“ they really are real right P'? ” he's assistant that is beside him asked him.
“ I don't know but the way I see it? They are definitely real ”
---
“ P' Can we make it in time? ” Off asked his manager they're still in the province, it's already 9:00 pm but they are still on the road due to bad luck there's an accident happen in front of them and now they're stock on a traffic jam. If this day could any be better for him! all he just want is to attend Gun's birthday on time
“ Just relax, we will arrive there. You should contact P'Godji or Gun that you'll make it for tonight but you'll come late ” Soon as his manager told him to do it he starts to find his phone but it's been minutes and he still cand find it
“ P' did you see my phone? ” Off asked still looking for his phone in evey bag that is on the back sit
“ Didn't you put that on the table earlier? ”
“ what table-- argh! Fuck! I forgot it on our location ” Off can just hit his head on the mirror of the car, of all days why he have to be forgetful today?! Like really?!!
“ here use mine ” His manager gave him his phone but when he's about to open it the screen turned black. Shit.
“ P' your phone died? Do you have any power bank there? ” Off ask he's very frustrated right now. He just wants to arrive on time. For fuck sake can't the nature let him?
“ I don't know ,try to look at the bags there ”
“ P' I already look through that bags
when I'm finding my phone and there's no power bank ” Off really sounds un-hopeful
“ just calm down okay? There we're already moving. If I were you I'll sleep so that I'll look good in front of Gun ” His manager suggested
“ I'll just sleep if we're on the train ”
Off really can't believe how bad this day for him. He can't even call Gun that he'll be late but he is coming. Every year he is always present on Gun's birthday and even though he's busy before he'll definitely make it, but today? It's like the nature don't want him to
“ Off wake up ” a pat on his shoulder make Off wake up from his sleep
“ we're here ”
“ what time is it P'? ”
“ it's already 5:35pm you can make it on nong's birthday, I think you should freshen up before you go there ” His manager said as he scans Off's look
Off is a bit uhm messy? If you say that his manager really suggested it
“ thank you P' I'll go now ,I'll just see you there. And don't tell Gun that I'm already done I want to surprise him ” Off said before he leaves the station
Party is not his thing, even his fans knew about it but for Gun he will do the things out of his comfort zone. He's exhausted, still sleepy and he forgot his phone but it's all worth it because he can attend Gun's birthday on time.
---
“ Off! ” he already heard P'jennie's voice as he enter the hall where Gun's party is located
“ I thought you'll never make it! Gun is really not in the mood when you leave for the taping of your series ” Jennie gives him a hug soon as she comes closer to him
“ I'm sorry P' it's work you know? ”
“ oi! You didn't even call! ” Off laugh as he remember how he had gone through before he arrived at Gun's birthday
“ I forgot it at the location P', I'm such in a hurry I forgot it. I haven't even got a proper sleep since I go there ” Off explained as he scan the place, there's a lot of people that he didn't know and faces that he knew. Maybe that's Gun's friends. Well Gun has a lot of friends, he's such a friendly person
“ and you go here first? Oho! Gun better be thankful for you ” Jennies slightly hit his shoulder teasing him
“ it's fine with me P' as long as it is for Gun- ” Off was cut off on his words when Jennie dramatically hit his head which make Off laugh
“ OI! The both of you? Can't you be honest you know? At least to us? ” Jennie pointed herself “ the both of you acted like a couple but every time, EVERY TIME we asked either the both of you , you still answer ‘ we're just friends ’ ” Jennie said also imitating his voice when he said those words
“ P' we're just really friends ” Off smiled
They're friends.
“ P'Off! ”
“ Oi! Nong Pim! Sawadee krab ”
“ Sawadee kha P'Off, P'Jen ” Pim wai at them
“ P' you didn't tell P'Gun you're here? He's really gloomy today ”
Off can just imagine Gun's face while Pim said it. Pouted lips. Blank face plus an attitude a typical sulking Gun Atthaphan
“ where is he now? ”
“ Oi don't look for him, you'll the one who will deliver his cake for him ” Pim just nodded at what Jennie said ,like it was already a plan
“ there's a lot of balloons inside can't I just greet him here? Outside? ” Off really feard balloons since he was a kid. And he can't remember anymore how he got this phobia but since then he can't be near of a balloon whether it's a small balloon or a big balloon it doesn't matter coz in the end all he fears is if it pops and the sound of it, that's what really scares him.
“ can't you be brave just for once? Gun really wants to celebrate this day with you, together with his family and friends INSIDE? ” Jennie motioning her hands inside
Off took a glance inside there's a lot of balloons, what he mean by a lot is all over the place, the ceiling is filled with ballons. He didn't know that the balloons that he hate is the theme for this years Gun's birthday. Off can just groan in frustration he didn't know what to do. Would he choose Gun? Or his safety for the balloons?
“ P'Off it's fine if you couldn't make it inside, it's my fault that I choose a lot of balloons for P'Gun's birthday I forgot that you have a phobia to it ” now he feels guilty seeing Pim's face and blaming herself even though she just wants the best for his brother
Off taps Pim's shoulder “ no it's not your fault nong, don't worry I'll bring the cake to him. I also want to see his face when he sees me bringing it to him ”
“ really? Thank you P'Off! ” Pim smile at him
“ no worries ” He smiles then look at his watch it's already 7:01 the party will start soon
“ Good job nong! ” Jennie whispers to Pim
“ I told you P'jen I'll handle this ” Pim said with an okay sign, they just fool Off Jumpol using Pim's face because if not? Off will really disagree and will not go inside if Pim will not guilt trip Off to it
“ it's a Phunsawat genes P'Jen ” both of them giggles as they look at Off who is busy scanning the place probably looking for Tay and Arm
“ what? ” Off suddenly asked as he saw Jennie and Pim looking at him with a weird smile on their faces
“ nothing nothing ” both of them said in unison with a smile on their faces which Off thinks is really really weird
“ Nong Pim it's time for the birthday cake you need to bring it to Gun ”
Off heard P'Godji's voice calling Pim but when she saw Off with Pim she immediately come to them and smacks Off head she's really worried about Off because since he leave he never call her or even Gun. She thought something bad happens to him that he doesn't know what she will do celebrate Gun's birthday or find a way to contact Off, but thank God Off is here she can calm her mind now.
“ ao! P' what was that for? ” Off said as he caress his back where Godji hit him
“ ai'Off why didn't you call!we're so worried for you! ”
“ Long story P' but I'm glad that I came just in time, the favor that I told you before I leave did you take care of it? ” Off whispered to Godji's ear and Godji just give him a nod and a teasing smile
“ anyway Nong come here you need to bring the cake inside ” she drag Pim inside but Pim stop her “ wait P' it's not me who'll bring the cake it's P'Off who will do it! Right P'Off? ” Pim look at her with a smile. He's not really sure if he is the right one to deliver it to Gun. This party is an intimate one only those people who are close to Gun are invited but yeah there's a lot of guest still he didn't think he's the right one. There's Gun's Father and Grandma to bring it to him
“ uh Pim are you sure I'm the one who'll bring it? What about your Pho (father)? ”
“ P' my pho is in our house we already have our party yesterday with my grandmother and nong Win if that's what your concern ”
He turn at Godji “ what about P'Godji? ” Godji looked at him like she's tired of Off's reasons
“ you know that Gun is much more happy if you're the one who'll bring it to him and you need to talk to that boy he's checking his phone like every second hoping you'll call or text him ” P'Godji said as he hand him the cake. Off just sighed and smile, yeah maybe for once he's really that important to Gun, at least today.
They lit the candle that is on top of the cake. He already heard the birthday song is being played inside. Once he enter the hall there's a lot of people , and almost all of them is recording him almost blocking the way
“ where's Gun?! ” he shouted as he covers the candle of the cake afraid that the fire on it will be blown away. The guest make a way for him and soon as he saw Gun he walks near to him. He saw how Gun's face lightens when he saw Off, you can definitely see that he is happy seeing Off holding his birthday cake
“ you came! ” Gun said to him, when he reach him the boy smile at him making him smile more too
“ the candles ” he heard someone said when Off look at the candle the fire is gone so they have to lit it again
“ here make a wish ” Gun looked at him before he close his eyes ,Off didn't know why but he also closes his eyes he also made a wish Good Health, long life, happy family and even though he doesn't want it happy relationship.
When he open his eyes Gun is already blowing the fire off the candles. He didn't know why his heart is beating fast is it because the balloons that is placed above him or seeing Gun's smile after he blows the fire out of the candles. He want to capture this moment in his head. The smile on Gun's face makes him feel like he's in a roller coaster because of how his stomach churned up seeing Gun smile like that
“ you already wish? ” Off asked “ I did! ” and Gun smiles at him the people around them cheer and greeted Gun some happy birthday
“ you already proposed to him, now the both of you need to be married ” he heard P'Godji shout through the crowd while her phone is leaned towards them obviously recording the both of them.
“ come on papii let's take a photo ” Gun drag him somewhere ,they took a photo in front of the big balloons that is spelled “ ATP ” Gun's initials. They take a lot of photos with him and the other GMM artist that is present on Gun's birthday.
Gun leaves Off side for a while coz he need to talk to the other guest. Off will have time to talk to Godji, he looked for her through the crowd and saw her with Jennie
“ P' is it ready? ” he asked looking a bit tense he didn't know if this will work or not, but he saw in the internet that almost all of it turned out just fine but he can't help to be worried because there's still a possibility that it'll fail
“ oi! Just relax ,just give me a signal and that will be done ” P'Godji give him a reassuring smile but still he is so worried.
“ okay P' I'll just call Gun and please be attentive okay? Don't talk too much with P'Jen when you see me and Gun go outside ” He reminded Godji before he come inside and look for Gun.
“ hey, what Off ask you for? ” Jennie ask curious about what the two talked about and curious why Off looked bothered when he leave
“ shh! You'll see later ” Godji said and smile to herself, she can just imagine how sweet this will turn out. Jennie just look at her with a weird face what so special about it that even Godji can't tell her about it
“ Nong Pim! Have you seen Gun I need to talk to him on something ” he asks Pim but he's still scanning the place. ‘ shit why Gun has a lot of friends ’
“ oh P'Gun he'll be here any minute he just get some-- oh there he is! ” he looks at where Pim pointed at and drag Gun outside
“ hey papii where are we going I need to give this to Pim ” Gun said pertaining to the piece of cake he was holding. Off took it from him and put it on a table that they just passed.
“ just give that to her later I need to show you something ” but Gun's eyes fixed to cake he just left on a table
“ but papii! ”
They already arrived at the balcony of the place there are still a lot of people outside, he wants this surprise to shown to Gun alone but it's still fun if all of them can see it tho
“ now what papii? ” Gun looks irritated but Off just smile at him he loves everything about Gun even if he was irritated right now
“ look up ” as if on cue the dark sky was lighted up with fire works, Green colored fireworks filled the sky. Green is their fandom color and they both love the color green that's why he choose this kind of color. He is also amazed at how beautiful this turned out he just told Godji what kind of fireworks he want and Godji takes care of the rest. When he looked at Gun he is smiling from ear to ear you can clearly see how happy he is and Off will always be thankful to that. Just when they thought the fireworks are done another batch started, this time Gun's name is spelled up in the sky with a cartoon face of Gun, they even laugh at how cute it was.
The people around them bring out their phones and start to record the beautiful light show. Off started to look for P'Godji still on his spot with Gun and when he sees her through the crowd he mouthed thank you and Godji just give him an ‘ okay ’ sign and a smile.
“ happy birthday ” he said looking at Gun that is still looking at the sky
“ it is not as expensive as the watch I first gave to you but I hope you still like it ” Off is happy with the result of his gift even though he didn't pick it himself he trusts Godji's taste when it comes to this kind of things especially if it's for Gun, if Gun didn't like it? He will still be fine with it, not all the time he can please Gun in whatever he gives
Gun looks at him with a tears falling from his eyes, Off started to panic coz of how Gun reacted to his surprise but his worries instantly fades when Gun hugged him. Off is clearly taller to Gun but that didn't stop Gun from hugging him
“ thank you papii, thank you so much! ” Off hugged him back and slowly tap the boys back
“ your welcome ”
“ I thought you'll really not gonna attend my birthday this year coz I've been calling and messaging you but you're not responding but thank God you came! Even without this fireworks as long as you're here celebrating with me that's more than enough papii but still thank you for the wonderful gift! ” Gun is smiling brightly at him, he knows that all of the people are recording them but he doesn't care it's Gun's birthday, the boy can do everything he wants
“ I'm sorry, I'm too busy to finish my shoot I have no time to check my phone, and when I was about to call you I forgot it at the filming location because I'm such in a hurry to leave just to arrive on time for your birthday ” Off said remembering how unfortunate he is today, when they're stuck at the traffic he thought they couldn't make it but luck is still on his side and he arrive just on time for the party
“ really? ” Gun looks guilty hearing him saying what he have gone through just to arrive at the party but Off just mess his hair “ don't worry it's nothing ” Gun eventually smile at him and he just smile back
“ when did you plan this papii? ” Gun ask as they slowly go inside
“ before I leave remember? I took a quick stop at the agency and tell this to P'Godji ”
Gun looked confuse “ I thought it's all about your schedule for schools rangers? ”
“ well yeah, but I also ask her this because I know I don't have much time ”
“ aww thank you again papii-- ” Gun didn't finish what he was saying when his friend calls him
“ Gun someone is looking for you ”
“ aow uhm papii I'll just look who is it okay? ”
“ sure sure ” and Gun left him, when Gun leave him Off can finally feel his exhaustion after the surprise, for hours he didn't feel anything but now that it is done, he just wants to sit and lean his back on something
“ oi! we didn't know you can still give nong a surprise despite your busy schedule ” Arm just popped out of nowhere with Tay
“ well P'Godji take care all of it, I just ask her if she can take care it for me because I'm really busy and she's too kind to accept my favor ” Off said as he sits on the chair near his spot, he really needs this he can't feel his own feet
“ oho! You really love nong just to bother yourself like that ~ ” Tay said while moving his brows in a teasing manner
“ of course it's his little nong's birthday why wouldn't he ” Arm added making Off more uncomfortable
“ can you please stop teasing me, how about the both of you? What are your gifts to Gun ” Off said changing topic coz if they'll continue, he will kick his friends asses out of embarrassment
“ me? I gave him some chanel bag ” Arm said looking at them
“ what about you? ” Off ask Tay that is busy taking photos of the place
“ oi! Can you please put down your camera just for once ” Arm scolded him, coz since they arrived at the place Tay can't stop taking photos
“ aow hehe sorry, what are you asking? ” Off and Arm can just rolled their eyes with their friend but still they repeat it for him
“ oh gift? I just give him socks ” Tay said like there's nothing wrong giving a pair of socks as a birthday gift. Off and Arm can't believe what they just hear from Tay. Really? Socks? Who the hell give socks as a present! Well Tay Tawan is alive, so it's Tay Tawan
“ and how did Gun react? ”
“ nong loves it! He said he will wear it all the time! ” Tay said proudly as if he did a good work
“ probably he say it just so he will not hurt your feelings ” Arm teases him
Off mentally face palm “ do you realize that Gun rarely wear socks right? ” when Tay realizes it he just buried his head on the table and Arm just laugh at him. Seriously Off didn't know if his friend is smart or he just got lucky at school because look why is he acting dumb right now?
---
“ have you seen Gun? ”
Off , Tay and Arm are having fun drinking when Jennie approach them
“ no, why? ”
“ aow where about to leave so we will just say goodbye ”
“ I'll look for him ” Off volunteer ,he wants to look for Gun too coz it's about an hour since he last saw Gun. He roam around the area and there's no signs of Gun. The place is huge so it's really hard for Off to look for a small person like Gun with this much crowd. It's already midnight but the people is still coming like they aren't tired of partying
“ P'Off are you looking for P'Gun? ” Pim notices him he just nods at her because he can't really shout because there are people in front of him he's afraid their ears will hurt because of his voice
“ I saw him going at the back ,try to look for him there, maybe he is still there ” Off just smile at her saying thank you. He starts to walk and give excuses as there are people blocking his way
‘ seriously this people don't know how to make way ’
He arrive at the back portion of the place, it's quiet in here and there's a lot of tables and chairs, some people are sitting and chatting there probably wanted to have some quiet time. Off starts to look for Gun as he scans the area. He was about to go inside when a familiar figure caught his eyes
It's Gun, but he is not alone he's with a girl they are sitting on a chair facing each other they are busy chatting laughing on what ever is it. Off didn't know who is the girl, he haven't seen her before. She's a complete stranger to Off.
‘ who the fuck is that? ’
Off wants to come closer and ask Gun who is she but he didn't have the courage to go and interrupt their moment. Most of the time it doesn't bother him if Gun talks to other girls or boys because Gun just acts normal towards them but now seeing Gun with the girl, it feels weird like there are some connections between him and the girl. That's when it hits him. It's his girlfriend.
Maybe that's why he feel threatened, maybe that's why he feels weird and uncomfortable seeing them talking. And the way Gun laugh? Fuck he only see those cute laugh when he's comfortable to the person he is talking to-- and wait did he just blush?
Off turned his back, he don't want to see more. This is too much for him.
He immediately leave the place without telling anyone and thank God his friends didn't notice him. The least he wants to happen tonight is his friends seeing him broken and devastated.
Upon arriving at his condo he immediately drop his self on his bed. He's really tired, tired of all the shits that happened in just a day. Why he didn't think about that? It's his birthday of course his girlfriend will come! How stupid of him to think that this day will be a normal birthday party just like in the past years. A lot has changed, including Gun. He can't be happy without thinking that Gun is already taken. Before it's just him and Gun but now it's not only the both of them.
Maybe he needs to get used of this feeling, the feeling of heart broken. Does he needs to be numb every time this happens? Before, he doesn't want to face the reality but tonight the reality slaps him hard, so hard he can't recover from the pain.
Why is it hard loving him? Why this is much more complicated than the time he courted Mild? Why every time he feels happy with Gun, his girl will ruin the world his building for his self
Off didn't notice that he was already crying, he's to occupied with his thoughts that his body just cried for him. He pitied himself on how vulnerable he looks right now
Do I need to forget him? Because things are much more better when I am not in love with Gun Atthaphan.