February 12th; 2012
Eight Days Later
Taylor Swift's Point of View
Dear diary,
It's been about a week since I've gotten fired. Yesterday the electricity was cut off. I didn't pay the electric bill as I have about 0 dollars. It's going great. Olivia was scared when it happened but I held her and told her it was okay. Our stove is electric so it looks like we're going to be having a lot of cereal. Olivia is still asleep. I try to hide all our issues from her but it gets harder every day.
I think today I'm going to go out on the street and play music. When I play music I can get up to $200. I think they'll pay me more when they see I have my daughter with me. I haven't played music in a while as I've been trying to put that dream behind me. It looks like I'm going to have to turn to it for a bit. I've been trying to get a new job but none of them want me as I don't have a degree.
I don't know what I'm going to do, I'm so clueless. I might have to go back to having multiple part time jobs.
Taylor <3
I look at the time and see that Olivia should be coming into the room just about...now. She's very consistent about the time she comes into the room. The door opens and Liv jumps on my bed.
"Mommy, it's time to get up!"
"Okay, okay I'm up." I get off the bed and walk to the kitchen with her. I give her some breakfast and she eats the dry cereal with her hands.
"Mommy, tomorrow is bring your dad to school day. The students are supposed to bring their dad so they can talk about their job. Is my dad going to come?" She looks up at me with a smile. I sigh and sit next to her.
"Liv, we've talked about this."
"But he has to come! All the kids are bringing their dads! I can't be the only one without a daddy."
"Liv, I'm so sorry."
"Why don't I have a daddy? You always tell me I don't have one but why?" Damn will this girl stop making me feel like absolute shit?
"Your daddy...he-he just wasn't ready to be a dad." I don't know how to explain this to her without lying.
"But you were ready to be my mommy."
"I know. I just want you to know, it's not your fault. Your dad leaving, that was all him. You did nothing wrong. Okay?"
"Okay mommy."
"I think I have an idea for tomorrow. I promise you, I won't let you down." Why did I make a promise I likely won't be able to keep?
"Yay! I love you!" She stuffs the last of the cereal in her mouth. I love her so much and I can't stand seeing her upset.
"What would you like to do today?" I feel so bad, I'll let her do what she wants today.
"Can we just watch Doc McStuffins?" She asks.
"We can't today." I've been watching a lot of Doc McStuffins lately. I hate the show but I love watching it with her. We don't have electricity right now so I don't think we can watch tv exactly. How about we go outside and I sing some songs?
"With the guitar?"
"Of course!"
"Yay!" The both of us get dressed and I take my guitar outside. I walk with her out into an outside shopping mall. I sit down on the edge of a circular flower bed that surrounded by concrete. I sit on the concrete that is a makeshift chair. I set down my guitar case on the ground so people will drop money in it.
"Olivia, make sure you stay by me. You can't go running off right now."
"But I want to go play."
"Please Liv. I can't play if you go running off."
"Okay mommy." She plants her butt on the ground and sits down. I strum the guitar and begin to sing.
I walked through the door with you, the air was cold
But something 'bout it felt like home somehow and I
Left my scarf there at your sister's house
And you still got it in your drawer even now
Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze
We're singing in the car, getting lost upstate
Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place
And I can picture it after all these days
And I know it's long gone and
That magic's not here no more
And I might be okay
But I'm not fine at all
Oh, oh, oh
'Cause there we are again on that little town street
You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over me
Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well
Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red
You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed
And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on a tee ball team
You tell me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me
And I know it's long gone and
There was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to
'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night
We dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light
Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah
Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much
But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up
Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well
Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise
So casually cruel in the name of being honest
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here
'Cause I remember it all, all, all too well
Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it
I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone
But you keep my old scarf from that very first week
'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me
You can't get rid of it, 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah
'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well
Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all
Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well
With every single donation, Olivia says thank you. It looks like she's picked up my habits from when I play music. The past few days we've been going out here to play music. She has a fun time and I get money.
"Are you ready to go?" I ask. The sun is beginning to set and I don't want to be out here with her at night.
"Yes. I'm tired." She says.
"I'll pack up everything." I take the money and change and put it in my front pocket. I place the guitar in its case and the two of us walk back to the house. When we get home I grab a couple of flash lights to help us get around. Hopefully this money will help us pay the electric.
"Will you come tuck me in?" Olivia has changed into her pajamas and walks up to me.
"Make sure you brush your teeth."
"I will!" She runs into the bathroom, picks up her toothbrush and scrubs them with toothpaste.
"You ready for bed now?" I ask.
"Yep!" She steps down from the stool in the bathroom and walks into her bedroom. Once she lays down I put a blanket over her.
"Mommy, will you read me a book?"
"Yeah, of course." I take a book from her bookshelf. Many of these books were given to me from Austin or Abigail.
"How about Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus?"
"I love that one!" I take the book and sit by her on the bed. I'm not a fan of children's books but some of them can be fairly entertaining. I don't even get past the first 3 pages before she falls asleep. I quietly place the book back on the shelf and walk into the kitchen. I set down at the table and look at my phone. I open Adam's contact and my finger moves back and forth as I try and decide if I should call him or not. I sigh and close my phone. It isn't worth it. But then I come up with a different idea. I walk into my room and grab my pants suit. I take a builtmore hat that Austin gave me as a joke when I got my job, I find the fake mustaches I kept from when Olivia and I were messing around. I set all of it out on the dresser before passing out on my bed. My alarm aka Olivia goes off the next day.
"Mom! It's time for school." I chuckle slightly and get out of bed. I give her breakfast and brush her hair as she eats.
"Are you ready for school now?" I ask once she finishes her breakfast.
"Yep! Will you wait outside with me?"
"Why wouldn't I?" She takes her backpack and slips it on her. The both of us walk outside and wait.
"Mommy, if my daddy isn't coming, what am I going to tell my teacher?"
"Don't worry, I got it covered for you. I promise you that someone will be there for you." Liv smiles and holds onto my hand. The bus pulls up and she gets on.
"Bye mommy! I love you!" She says as she walks on. I see the bus pull away and I walk back inside. I go upstairs and put on the outfit I set out yesterday. I put my hair in a braid and pin it to the back of my head so you can't see it. I put on flats and grab a few things I put together before leaving. I take the fake mustaches and begin to walk to her school. Her school is only a few blocks away but I didn't have the time to walk her there with my job. After about half an hour, I end up at the doors to her school. I take the fake mustache and put above my lips. I enter the school after checking in with the receptionist. When I walk into her classroom, there's several parents in the room. I stand in the back as I wasn't exactly on time. I can tell Olivia is looking around for someone but she can't figure it out. I see her face and she's becoming worried no one is going to show up.
"Olivia Swift?" The teacher says loudly. Olivia looks around the room and sighs. I walk to the front of the classroom where I'm wearing my ridiculous attire.
"Hello. I'm Olivia's dad." I say in a low pitch, this causes the classroom to giggle. Olivia runs up to me and hugs me. "You came! Mommy you came!"
"I'm you dad. I don't know what you're talking about." I speak in a deep voice once again. This makes Olivia laugh.
"Thank you dad." She runs back to her seat and watches me.
"So kids, I'm a stockbroker. I have to admit, it's very boring. What I do is buy money basically then sell them. Hopefully in the end I'll earn more money then loose. I earn more money by the store that has money, increasing in value. Basically I buy stocks and manage them." Every single kid looks at me which an extremely confused face. How the fuck do you explain my job to 5 year olds?
"You know what my true passion is though, is being an artist. I like to sing music and play the guitar and piano."
"Daddy, can you play a song for us?" The rest of the class cheers as they want me to play.
"You got a piano or guitar?" I ask the teacher, still not breaking character with my voice.
"There's a piano in the back corner." She tells me. I walk into the corner and play a few notes. I'm definitely a little rusty on the piano but I'll be fine.
"So, this is a song I wrote for my daughter."
I promise that you'll never find another like me
I know that I'm a handful, baby, uh
I know I never think before I jump
And you're the kind of guy the ladies want
And there's a lot of cool chicks out there
I know that I went psycho on the phone
I never leave well enough alone
And trouble's gonna follow where I go
And there's a lot of cool chicks out there
But one of these things is not like the others
Like a rainbow with all of the colors
Baby doll, when it comes to a lover
I promise that you'll never find another like
Me-e-e, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
I'm the only one of me
Baby, that's the fun of me
Eeh-eeh-eeh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
You're the only one of you
Baby, that's the fun of you
And I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me-e-e
I know I tend to make it about me
I know you never get just what you see
But I will never bore you, baby
And there's a lot of lame guys out there
And when we had that fight out in the rain
You ran after me and called my name
I never wanna see you walk away
And there's a lot of lame guys out there
'Cause one of these things is not like the others
Livin' in winter, I am your summer
Baby doll, when it comes to a lover
I promise that you'll never find another like
Me-e-e, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
I'm the only one of me
Let me keep you company
Eeh-eeh-eeh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
You're the only one of you
Baby, that's the fun of you
And I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me-e-e
Hey, kids!
Spelling is fun!
Girl, there ain't no I in "team"
But you know there is a "me"
Strike the band up, one, two, three
I promise that you'll never find another like me
Girl, there ain't no I in "team"
But you know there is a "me"
And you can't spell "awesome" without "me"
I promise that you'll never find another like
Me-e-e, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh and I won't stop, baby
I'm the only one of me
Baby, that's the fun of me baby, that's the fun of me
Eeh-eeh-eeh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
You're the only one of you
Baby, that's the fun of you
And I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me-e-e
Girl, there ain't no I in "team"
But you know there is a "me"
I'm the only one of me
Baby, that's the fun of me
Eeh-eeh-eeh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Strike the band up, one, two, three
You can't spell "awesome" without "me"
You're the only one of you
Baby, that's the fun of you
And I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me-e-e
I smile once I finish the song. I know it's just a crowd of little kids but it's nice to have an audience while I play my music. I may have broken character to actually sing but it was worth it. I see Olivia with a bright smile on her face. The entire class is just clapping and cheering. I know they are 5 but they make me feel good about myself and I'm decent at what I do.
"Play more!" A kid shouts.
"I'm sorry but I should go back." I finally get up and go back to where I was originally when I walked in. Eventually, all the parents finish up and begin to leave after saying goodbye to their kids. I start to leave as well but stopped by Olivia's teacher.
"Can I talk to you?" She asks.
"Uh sure." I say awkwardly.
"About your singing-"
"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have stepped in like that."
"No, it was great. Our music teacher just quit and we need a new one."
"Oh no-I can't. I don't have a degree in anything. All I have is a GED, I didn't go to college."
"You didn't get a diploma?"
"I dropped out of high school when I was 16. I couldn't go to high school and take care of Liv. I was 16, a homeless teenager can't exactly pull that off."
"I'm sorry that happened."
"It's okay. I got something great out of it."
"Well, there's a program so you can get a teaching certificate in just a few months. If you finish before the new school year, I don't think it'll be hard for you to get the job."
"How much for I get paid?" I know that's maybe not the best question to ask right now.
"I mean, I'm not in charge of that stuff but probably around 40k a year."
"HOLY SHIT." I quickly realize I'm surrounded by children.
"Sorry, I know it doesn't sound like a whole lot maybe but it's like...twice the amount I usually get. Oh my god I could pay the electric bill!" I exclaim.
"You can't pay your electric bill? How do you do things?"
"I don't know. We just figure it out. I became a mom when I was barely 17 so I think I've learned I can figure out anything in the end." I explain.
"Well, here's the information about the program." She writes on a piece of paper for a moment and then hands it to me.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you so much." I walk out the door with the paper and take off my mustache. I forgot I had it on and I do look quite stupid with it. I let my hair down and walk outside the building. I don't exactly have a computer so I think I'll have to do a lot of my work at the library. I don't care the lengths I have to go or how hard I need to work, I'm going to get this certificate and get the job. I could do so much with 40 grand and I have summers off to spend with Olivia. This doesn't feel real, it feels like I'm living some dream.
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Author's Note:
For once when I wrote a book the chapters aren't super short 😫
Thank you guys for all the reads so far!!!
Word count: 3210