Precious Sins
Chapter XXXVIII: Heartbeat
[Adrien's POV]
School for the next two weeks was an absolute nightmare. I dreaded going every morning. After finding out that my mom and Jackson broke up and that we would be moving back to our old house, nothing ever seemed right anymore. There were so many things that swarmed around in my head: my mom, Preston, Carter, my friends; those thoughts were always at the forefront of my brain, and now, I couldn't wake up in the morning without feeling sick to my stomach at the thought of going to school.
When I got to school that Friday morning, my heart was pounding fast and my breath uneven, I got stares. It seemed like a regular occurrence now, especially from all the seniors. I would get stares, some would whisper, and some even had the courage to call me names out loud. I tried my best to ignore the comments and stares, but it did nothing to ease my anxiety. It only just made it worse and I had to fight myself from fleeing the school altogether. My mom would get curious if I kept skipping school, and I didn't want her to know what was going on.
Because in fact, it was all my fault, so I deserved it anyway.
"Adrien?" I blinked out of my thoughts when I heard someone call out my name in a whisper, followed by a hand being placed on my shoulder. When I looked up from my laptop, Asher was looking at me with a concerned frown.
"You okay?" He asked me concernedly, and I nodded my head, flashing him a quiet smile.
"Ah...yeah, sorry. I just spaced out."
"If you're spacing out, obviously you're not fine," Asher scoffed lightly, "Preston still not talking to you?"
I frowned, "Why would he? If I saw him with someone else like he saw me with Carter, I probably would do the same thing he's doing..."
"Yeah, but Carter forced himself onto you. Therefore, I think you should try talking to Preston again. It's been a week, Adrien," Asher told me.
"I don't know. I...I'm just tired, okay? I don't want to do anything," I dismissed Asher's suggestion and looked back to my computer screen, struggling to sit still and focus.
Asher furrowed his brows at me, "you don't want to get Preston back?"
I didn't say anything, and instead of bothering to answer Asher, I focused my gaze on my half-written essay on my laptop. But I barely focused on the essay. I got lost in my thoughts while blocking out the world around me. I couldn't focus on anything nowadays, let alone schoolwork. I just didn't want to do anything. I didn't even want to be at school.
I could still feel Asher's concerned gaze on me, but luckily, he didn't say anything more and went back to his schoolwork.
***
When first period was over, Asher and I quietly walked side by side out of English and headed down the closest stairwell to the main floor. There were no art classes during second period, so Asher and I spent our spare in Ms. Sawyer's art room, talking and catching up on schoolwork. Well, Asher caught up on his schoolwork while I painted.
All I did was paint and draw nowadays. It was the only thing that could help distract me from everything going on in my life. I often spent hours drawing, to the point that I barely ever did my schoolwork anymore, and I was slowly falling behind. But I didn't really care; I couldn't focus on school so what was the point in wasting time in trying to focus?
"Ugh, these chairs are starting to get more and more uncomfortable each day," Asher groaned. He sat beside me on the stool beside mine, his homework sitting in front of him on the table as he rubbed his lower back.
I frowned, "did you want to sit in the library instead? They have couches there, so you could lay down and take the pressure off your back."
Asher sighed and shook his head, "no, it's fine. I doubt the couch would be any comfier. I'd much rather go home to lay down, but you know how Daniel is," he groaned, "He won't let me miss any more classes because I've already missed quite a few, and wants to make sure I actually pass, ya know?"
"I mean, he has a point," I chuckled softly, "though, I get where you're coming from...I don't exactly want to be here either."
"Mmm...at least we can be miserable together, am I right?" He laughed. I smiled crookedly and nodded my head.
We spent the rest of second period in the art room, and when the bell finally rang for lunch, Asher and I grabbed our stuff and headed to my locker and then his locker, so that we could grab our coats and put away our books. Asher shoved his books away into his locker, kicking off his converse as he changed them for his boots. But just as Asher was grabbing his coat from his locker, a group of kings walked by us.
"Hey look, it's slut one and slut two," One of the guys snickered, a wide smirk on his face as he approached us, two of his friends with him. I stiffened at his comment and briefly turned to Asher, but Asher just rolled his eyes at the guy, before turning to face him.
"Oh wow, haven't heard that insult before. Got any other jokes in that small brain of yours, dumbass?" Asher scoffed, narrowing his eyes at him.
"Who are you calling a dumbass? I'm not the one who spread their legs and ended up getting pregnant in high-school. Now, who's the real dumbass, huh?" The guy retorted.
"And I'm not the one who sticks their fucking nose in other people's business. My life has nothing to do with your shitty ass one—and your life has to be pretty fucking shit for you to come up to me just to insult me," Asher snapped at him, "why don't you go do something useful with the life your parents wasted on you?"
"Geez, you're a fucking bitch, you know that? I feel sorry for the king that has to put up with your whiny ass. Must be tough having to raise a child with all that," he gestured to Asher, "if your partner is even still in the picture. I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't," The guy spat out.
"Well, at least I'm actually able to get laid, because who the fuck would want to fuck a king like you? A nasty ass mouth and a small dick," Asher snorted. He slammed his locker shut, shrugging on his coat, "so now if you'll excuse us, I'm fucking hungry and need to eat. So kindly fuck off."
Asher flipped the guy and his friends the middle finger before he was storming down the hallway. With a pounding heart, I quickly followed after Asher, briefly glancing back to the group of kings that watched us leave with snarky looks on their faces. I bit my lip, turning away as I caught up to Asher, and walked beside him.
"I fucking hate people," Asher grumbled angrily, shaking his head in disbelief, "what an asshole. Who does he think he is?"
"I don't know..." I shook my head, with a frown, at a loss of words, "are you okay?"
"Pft, no," Asher snorted, "you'd think I would get used to it by now since I deal with this shit almost every day now, but I guess not."
I stopped Asher in the stairwell by grabbing his wrist. Asher stopped and turned to me with a look of annoyance, but once I stepped closer and pulled him into a hug, he relaxed. Asher sighed heavily, resting his forehead against my shoulder as he hugged me back tightly.
We didn't say anything but just hugged in silence. When I pulled back, Asher straightened his back and flashed me a small, but thankful smile, before we headed down the stairwell to meet Daniel by the front doors of the school, since we all agreed to go out for lunch during the break. Once we met up with him, Daniel could tell straight away that something was wrong, as he came up to Asher and pulled him into a hug. And the moment Asher was in his arms, I could tell it was taking every inch of his being to hold back his emotions.
"What happened?" Daniel asked once Asher let go of him, his brows furrowed. He reached up and ran his fingers through Asher's hair, and Asher responded with a heavy sigh.
"A group of kings came up to us and gave Asher a hard time," I replied. Daniel's gaze stiffened and he looked back down at Asher.
"Again? What did they say to you?"
Asher waved off Daniel's concerns, "it's nothing. Can we talk about this later? I'm hungry, I need a damn nap, and my back and feet hurt. I just want to relax."
Daniel frowned. He looked like he wanted to argue, but decided against it and nodded his head with a sigh. He leaned down and kissed Asher's forehead softly, before reaching down to tangle their hands together.
"Okay, but we will be talking about this later."
Asher rolled his eyes at that but relented. After that, we headed our way outside into the school's parking lot. We took Daniel's car to go get pizza at the pizza place in town, and while Daniel and I went inside to order, Asher took the time to lay in the backseat with a blanket and a pillow to have a quick power nap.
When we finally received our order, we took our food back to Daniel's car. I slipped into the passenger seat with my two pizza slices in hand, while Daniel sat in the driver's seat, and reached back to gently wake up Asher.
"Wake up, babe, the food's here," Daniel spoke gently, his hand rubbing Asher's shoulder. Asher groaned in his sleep before he woke up, rolling onto his back as he squinted and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Once he carefully pulled himself up into a sitting position, Daniel handed him a bottle of apple juice and the foam container of penne pasta with tomato sauce.
"Mmm, thank you," Asher sighed, still looking half asleep as he drank some of the apple juice and dug into his food. Daniel smiled softly at him and pressed a quick kiss to Asher's temple before he was sitting back in his seat and taking a bite out of his pizza.
We spent the rest of the lunch hour sitting in Daniel's car, eating and chatting. When the lunch break was over, Daniel drove us back to school, and we got there just as the first bell rang for third period.
"You better call me later tonight!" Asher said to me as we got out of Daniel's car. He didn't hesitate to attach himself to Daniel's side and tangle their hands together, all the while Asher gave me a pointed look. I rolled my eyes and smiled, walking alongside them as we wandered up the front steps and headed inside the school.
"I will. I'll call you after I get settled back into my old place," I replied.
"Mhmm, you better," Asher stuck his tongue at me. I laughed softly, "see you later, Adrien!"
I nodded, waving at the two of them as they walked off. I headed up the main stairs to the second floor and stopped at my locker to grab my physics textbook, and to put away my other books. I always dreaded Physics class, knowing that I had it with Preston, because the first time I entered the class earlier in the week, I noticed that he and Phoebe had moved seats. I ended up sitting alone, which was uncomfortable in itself because if we had to work on an assignment with a partner, I was always the odd one out.
I sighed, shaking my head as I shoved my physics textbook into my bag. I closed my locker and shrugged my bag over my shoulder, but just as I turned to head down the hallway, I gasped as I bumped into a hard chest. I blinked, a familiar scent of cologne assaulting my senses. I snapped my head up to see none other than Carter, my eyes widening and dread slipped into the pit of my stomach.
"Adrien," Carter greeted, his usual taunting smirk on his face. My heart started pounding in my chest, and I became a little light-headed as anxiety seeped into my skin.
I quickly moved to sidestep him, but he blocked me by stepping in the way. I looked back up at him, every muscle in my body tensing up as I glared at him.
"Leave me alone, Carter."
"What, are you avoiding me now?" Carter chuckled, "one little kiss and then you're running off?"
I furrowed my brows at him, "Little kiss? You grabbed me and forced me to kiss you while I was in a relationship."
"Oh, come on...you secretly liked it," Carter laughed, "You were practically asking for it; you practically betrayed Marci for going after the boy she liked, so obviously you're just a little heartbreaker, aren't you? Using your feign innocence to lure people in?"
"I was not asking for it!" I snapped at him, trying to calm my breathing, "why the hell would I want you to kiss me? And it's not my fault that Preston didn't like her back."
Carter smirked, gripping my chin in his hand as he leaned in close, causing my anxiety to spike, "with that kind of face, you were definitely asking for it."
With that, Carter let go of me, moving past me as he headed down the silent hallway. My mind was numb. The moment he was gone I hurried down the hallway, trying to keep my breathing steady as I took shallow breaths. It didn't help though, because the anxiety was creeping itself up my throat, making it hard to breathe. My chest was tight and my hands were shaking.
When I got to the bathroom, I locked myself into an empty stall, pressing my back against the stall door, trying to control my breathing. It seemed like a constant occurrence now, having a panic attack in the bathroom stall. I could barely go a day without having some kind of panic attack just because coming to school gave me a load of anxiety by itself, and having my peers call me names and point fingers, and didn't help that anxiety.
I didn't know how much longer I could handle this—it hasn't been that long since this whole thing started, but to me, it felt like it has been going on forever. It was never-ending, and not knowing when it would all finally stop was what made it feel like this pain had been going on for months. But it hasn't been months.
I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling hot tears sting my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I pressed my hands over my eyes, rubbing harshly at the tears.
I just wanted the pain to stop.
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A/N: I hope you enjoyed the chapter!