○•Chapter 15: Confusion •○
My heart was beating so fast; I couldn't think properly. He stood there with his beautiful aqua eyes staring into my heather grey eyes; It intimates me. Why are his eyes so pretty? I gulped as I rubbed my sweaty hands. He's making me so nervous. I know what he said was something simple but I feel like there was some special meaning behind it.
"I said that I've ne -" I can't hear it again! It's just too much for me to handle.
"La la la. I can't hear you." I plugged my ears with my fingers. He gave me a weird look, which I'm perfectly fine with by the way.
"Seriously?" He rubbed his head and I continue to annoy him. He muttered something under his breathe but I couldn't hear him properly because I was too busy blocking out his voice and I'm not planning on stopping. Then, out of nowhere, he stared at me and his lips automatically formed into a smirk. W-What is he going to fo to me?! I better scattle because I do not want to know!
Before I can retreat, he places his finger against my lips. My eyes widened really wide; he really surprised me there.
"Shhh." He shushed me. I remained silent; its almost as if he can control me. My body stood still as he walkd closer; he smiled. So we're back to this again? Oh brother, someone just stop this guy already. I had have enough of this!
"I knew that will work." he smirked and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. It's like he knew my weakness was when he's near me. I'm just shocked, lost of words and speechless. I gulped. How can he catch up this fast? His eyes wandered into my eyes and it feels like I was about to drop to the floor. He tried to read through my eyes but I couldn't help it anymore. I can't stand being this close to him!
"I-I'm going to leave now!" My lips brushed against his fingers and I quickly rushed out of the door. Bam! I closed the door and dashed out of there as fast as I can.
Ugh, what was all that about? What's with him and his finger touching my lips? Oh my god! I'm having a mental breakdown!
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I slammed the door shut. I've never been so happy to be home; being in Jayden's house felt like forever. I can't think properly anymore. Its like there's an after effect. I need someone to talk to; someone who's a friend. Someone like.. Lily! I quickly dug my hand into my jeans pocket but it wasn't there. What? I checked my other pocket, but it wasn't there! No, no. This cannot be happening! I looked through all my pockets but it was nowhere to be found. I sigh. I must have left it at Jayden's house. I plopped to the ground and rubbed my head into my arms. I have no one to talk to and yet, Jayden was supposed to be "my personal guidance counselor." What am I going to do?
"Emily, what are you doing?" I looked up and saw my mom standing by the railings. I quickly got up and wiped the remaining tears that were still on my face. Did she see my cry? Why am I crying anyways? Is it because of Abby? It can't be; I don't have feelings for him, so there's no reason to cry right?
"What do you mean? I just got back." I forced a smile, but I wasn't able to do it. I am messed up. She raised her eyebrow and holds out her arms.
"Don't lie to me. Now come here." I knew that if I hugged her, I'm going to have to tell her everything, but I really need someone to talk to and my mom has got to be one of the best choices. I ran into her arms and she welcomes me with a warm embrace; it was just everything I needed. Her perfume scent was so strong but I didn't mind because she smelled good; I can be in her arms all day if I had to.
"Now tell me what happened." She released me from her arms. I pouted. I didn't want her to let go; it felt good to have someone comfort me.
"Do I have to?" I whined and she nodded her head. I glanced at the stairs. Maybe I can escape, but last time I did that I got into even more trouble. I shivered. The memory just scares me. I sighed. I guess I should just tell her.
"Fine, but can we sit down first? I did a lot of running today and my legs are tired." I asked her and she giggles.
"Emily, you never change."
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Here we are, in my bedroom, having one of those 'mother and daughter' discussions. I hate it even more then having them with my friends; at least they know what its like. I snuggled into my pillow case; just talking about it makes my heart ache even more.
"Emily. Why did you kept this from me?" she asks in concern. Her expression was grim. I didn't know what to say. What? That I didn't want to have one of these "talks" with her? That would break her heart into pieces.
"Um. To be honest mom, I didn't know how to come to you about it." I muttered. I wasn't completely lying, so that's okay right? She nodded her head.
"So is that girl his girlfriend?" She asks me. I wasn't too sure myself. He kept saying she wasn't but in the picture his arms were around her. Like people said: Pictures are worth a thousand words.
"I don't know, mom. He said that she wasn't but in the picture he had his arms around her." I hesitated and she bits her lower lip. I guess I got that habit from her and look where that habit got me into. I shake my head. I hope his finger is okay... I wonder if he can still play basketball like that... If he can't then I'm willing to die for him. Not literally, just a figure of speech.
"Honey, maybe they are just friends." she placed her arms around me. Wow, how ironic.
"But friends don't pu-" She shushed me.
"I know. I know, but you won't be sure until you talk to him about it." She said. I admit, I never gave him the chance to explain, but why does it matter? Its none of my business and I didn't even wanted to talk about it; he pushed me into it,
"So you want me to talk to him?!" She nodded. If you haven't notice, I don't like talking about my feelings. It just gets all mushy and it annoys me so much.
"From the looks of it, I think Jayden likes you." She smiled and squeezed my arm. What? What is she talking about?! There's no way that he likes me; we're friends and just friends. How many times do I have to say that?
"No. He'll never like me that way. Mom, you've been reading romance novels these days haven't you?" I said and raised my eyebrow. Her mouth hangs open.
"How is my daughter so oblivious? He's flirting with you and you can't even see it. I pity the poor guy and in the matter of fact, yes I have." I shake my head. My mom's a hopeless romantic, she dies for the most lovey dovey scenes, while I feel like puking my guts out. Ew, I know. Its cute but its too much for me; that's why I don't watch anything with her and it doesn't help that she always pick the most extreme romance movies, with major make outs and uh, yeah I think you've got the idea. If I go any further, I'll get grounded for thinking this way.
"I can't believe Charlie proposed to her! Oh, how I wish someone can do that to me!" She clasped her hands together and dazed off into her "own world". Oh brother, she won't be able to stop if I don't stop her now. Wait, she's been proposed before, what's so great about this Charile dude?
"Mom, I think I'm done having my talk." I said, hoping she'll leave me alone, but she obviously doesn't.
"Nonsense! We just started." I rolled my eyes. Just like I expected.
"Now tell me, do you like him back?" She asked me and patted my thigh. What?! I do not like him. I scoffed. That's not happening.
"No! Mom! Where did you get that from?" I shouted. She shakes her head in disappointed. What? I seriously don't!
"My, my. You're not only oblivious about others but also yourself." she sighed. Why does she keep calling me that? She sounds exactly like Lily.
"I am not!" I pouted.
"Emily, If you like the boy, then all you have to do is tell him." She said as she placed her hands on mine. What?! How many times do I have to say that I don't like him!?
"B-But mom! I don't!" She shushed me again. I rolled my eyes. But I really don't!
"You just need to find out yourself. Clearly, you do like him; I can tell by the look in your eyes when you talk about him." She smiled and I flushed. By the way I talk about him?
"I'm sure you'll find your true feelings soon." She kissed me on the forehead and walked out of the door, leaving me wondering about my feelings. Is what she said true? Was she serious? Its not only her but Lily too; Lily said I like him too. I rubbed my head. This is so confusing! I groaned and rolled on my bed; I laid there, spacing out.
I touched my lips. These are the lips he touched with his finger. I can feel my cheeks getting warmer. Why can't I stop blushing? I know I blush easily but it seems like its on a totally different level today; just from the smallest things, I blush. Is this a sign? Do I like him? I think it's time for me to find out.
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Throughout the enitre morning, I've been trying to avoid him. Even though I wanted to know my true feelings for him, I couldn't face him. Yesterday was just too intense for me to see him again. I hide behind the lockers, looking at both direction to see if he was anywhere in sight.
"Pft, what are you doing?" I jumped up in surprise. Don't tell me its Jayden! Please no! Believe me, I am panicking inside. I squeezed my hand and pray to not see Jayden's face.
"Miss. First grader, I can see you." I rolled my eyes. I should've known. What is he doing here? I turned around and saw Chris standing there with his hands in his pockets. Surprisingly, he was wearing a dark blue hoodie; that's new, since he barely wears hoodies. Hoodies. Jayden usually wears hoodies. I bit my bottom lip. Why is everything reminding me of him? Maybe there really is something wrong with me.
"What are you doing? You look like a weirdo." he smirked. I rolled my eyes again. I know I look like a weirdo but excuse me, I'm trying to hide from someone.
"None of your business and yeah. I know I look like a weirdo. Thank you very much." I said sarcastically and he raised his hands in defeat. Heh, he's being easy today. I stick my tongue at him.
"Wow, I was just wondering. Don't have to be so snappy, Miss. First grader." he smirked. He seems to smirk every time he says 'Miss. First grader'; he is enjoying this way too much and why am I talking to him anyways? I'll just stand out even more because he's so freaking loud!
"Well, Mr. Eighth grader, unfortunately I don't have any spare time to talk to you today. So, maybe tomorrow." I faked a smile and made a turn towards the stairs. Well that was a waste of my time.
"Then make time." He shouted. D-Did he just shouted that out loud?! Everybody was staring at us. This guy is just hopeless! I slowly turned around and sighed. He's not an easy guy to deal with.
"Fine, I'll tell you. Now shut up please?" I begged. The people around us were still looking. He smirked.
"Whatever you say, Miss. First grader!" He shouted again and I can feel the stares I'm getting from behind my back. Okay this is it! I covered his mouth and pushed him into an empty classroom. Even more people stared at us, but its alright because now it's all clear. I locked the door behind me. Good, now they won't be able to hear him.
"Miss. First grader is just full of surprises today!" He smirked as I uncovered his mouth. I rolled my eyes. He's definitely a duplicate of my brother. He just won't shut up! No wonder he's Cameron's friend. I shake my head; such a disappointment and I was planning on making him my 'new friend' too.
"You're so annoying! Have I ever told you that?" I scolded at him. He hesitated.
"Hm, maybe a couple of times? I don't remember." he stickd out his tongue at me. Ugh, he just never stops! If he keeps pushing my buttons, I don't even know what'll do to him; probably scary things.
"Chris?" I asked.
"Yeah, Miss. First grader?" he asked me back, with his lips still forming a smirk. Am I amusing him right now?
"If you want to continue being my friend, then please shut up." I warned him and he mouths out: wow. Yes, it worked! I should use that threat more often. Note to self: To make Chris shut up, just threaten him.
"Okay, okay, Don't need to get so mad." He sighed. Well if he didn't piss me off, I wouldn't be mad now would I?? You should have heard him; he was so loud! I mind as well just die from embarrassment!
"Good." I sigh. Well that was a hassle. At least Jayden wouldn't find me in here; it'll need a miracle for that to happen.
"Why were you hiding behind the lockers anyways?" Why did I have to say that I'll tell him? I sighed. Oh yeah, because he wouldn't shut up..
"I was hiding from someone." I said.
"Who were you hiding from?" He asked me. Do I have to tell him? I just had the talk with my mom yesterday and I don't want to have it again, especially not with Chris; he wouldn't even take me seriously and I'll bet on that if I can.
"N-Nobody." I muttered and he scoffed. What? I already told him enough information, What more does can he ask for?
"W-What?" I asked him. Why did he scoffed?
"You're so cute, Miss. First grader." He raised his hands to pinch my cheeks. I shrieked. Cute?! I am far from cute; I am... I'm sexy! Oh you know it baby! Okay, maybe I went a little too far.
"Ow! That hurts jerk!" He gave me a huge smirk. No, that cannot be good! Before I know it, he pinches even harder. I pouted again; I can already feel the tears forming in my eyes. Somebody get his hands off of me!
"Stop it!" I said, struggling to get his hands off my cheek. Seriously, I think my cheeks are red from the pressure he's putting into it.
"Not until you tell me who it is." He constantly pinches my cheeks and I wailed. What a jerk! I can totally see the resemblance now; he's nearly one hundred percent related to my brother and that's even more then me! Cameron, what are you teaching this boy?
"No! I'm not telling you!" I pushed my face out his hands and left him hanging his arms in the air. I rubbed my cheeks. That jerk! It hurts so much, I can already feel my eyes stinging from pain. If only it doesn't hurt this much, I would have done something to him a long time ago.
"I'm sorry, Emily." He apologized. I know he means no harm; just like my brother, but that really did hurt. Is it weird that I keep comparing him to my brother? He's just so much like him; Its almost a crime. Maybe my brother made a twin and named him Chris! Oh my god, I really have unique imagination.
"Its okay. Just don't do that again." I glared at him. I'll never forget about this day. Never.
"I can't promise you that, Miss. First grader." He teased me and sticks out his tongue again. He's just unforgiveable.
"We'll see about that." I smirked and he raised a eyebrow. I couldn't help but laugh. He's just so annoying, but in a way it lightens up my mood.
"Why are you laughing?" He was still raising his eyebrow at me. I sigh and my laughing comes to a end.
"Hm? I don't know." A smile appears on my face. I didn't even notice myself smiling at him; it just somehow came out naturally.
"Okay Miss. First grader, either you tell me who it is or I'm going to leave." He demanded. I raised my eyebrow. Is he threatening me? No offense but I don't care if he leaves me or not. I just really don't want to talk about it. I'm here to find out about my feelings for Jayden but here I am stuck in a room with Chris. I sigh.
"Chris, I really don't want to talk about it." I said. This is getting tiring. I wonder when is the next bell going to ring. I told Mr. Chen that I needed to go to the washroom but its been approximately 15 minutes since I left. Would he come searching for me? Is he going to hunt me down if I don't leave now? The thought of that just scares me. I shivered inside. I cannot let that happen!
"Emily, I thought we were friends. You can tell me anything now." He told me. I raised my eyebrows. Is he for real?! This does not sound like the Chris I know. What happened to his cockiness and annoyance? Maybe there's more to him then I thought.
"I don't know." I said quietly. I feel so bad. There's a boy trying to reach out to me, but somewhere inside me isn't letting him in. I just need to be closer to him; we only known each other for a few months and for most of the time, we ignored each other. But it's still nice of him to do this for me.
"I guess we should just forge-" Before he can finish the sentence, the door opened. What? I thought I locked it. And when I thought things couldn't get any worse, it just did. J-JAYDEN!? This is not happening! I was trying to avoid him but I ended up seeing him anyways. I knew I should've left.
"Hey Mr. Larry, I need some help on my history homewo-" Jayden closed the door and looked away from the paper he was holding. I'm assuming that's the homework he was talking about. At this exact moment, his fresh blue eyes met mine. B-Bump. B-Bump. My heart is beating so fast. I feel like I want to leave, but a part of me wants me to stay. What's going on with me?
"Jayden?" I blinked my eyes. His eyes turns towards Chris and he bits his lower lip. What is he thinking? That Chris and me have something going on? I laugh at that, but then again we are alone together in a room, well was.
"Oh. I'm sorry." He said as he was about to exit the room. His face became grim and it's like all of his happiness was drawn out of him. Can someone please tell me what's going on here?
"So you're the famous Jayden. I heard a lot about you." Chris smirked. He immediately froze from what Chris said. What? They know each other? I turned my head towards him.
"You know each other??" I asked and Chris scoffed.
"No. I just heard a lof of nasty rumors about him." My eyes widened. What nasty rumors? I never heard anything about that. but there seems to be a lot of things I don't know about Jayden. I bit my lip. Is it about that girl in the picture? I really wonder what it is.
Ding dong!
Yes! Saved by the bell! I smiled in relief. "I don't have time for this." Jayden glared at him and Chris raised his eyebrow. I can already feel the tension coming from those two. Didn't they hear the bell? Its time to leave but here they are, glaring at each other. What's going on?
"Jayden, what are you doing in front of the door?" Mr. Larry was standing behind Jayden. He wore a black blazer paired with a blue tie. He has black greasy hair and a curly mustache. Funny, I never saw someone who actually had that kind of a mustache before. He was also carrying a brown leather brief case and three history textbooks on the other hand.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Mr. Larry can I talk to you about the homework after school?" Jayden moved out of the way and lets Mr. Larry through the door. He placed his things on his wooden desk. There was even an apple on it; how nice of their students.
"Um." he checked his agenda. "Its seems like I have nothing going on after school, so sure." He scratched his black greasy hair. It's suprisingly shiny.
"Thanks, Mr.Larry." Jayden said. Wait. Don't we have to practice today?
"But we have to practice our presentation today." I blurted out. I feel like I'm interfering with their conversation but he's my partner and he can't just leave me like that.
"Wait for me." He firmly said. I nodded. At least it doesn't feel as awkward anymore. I turned to see Chris sitting on the desk beside me. I see, so his next class was in here. How ironic is that?? But he was probably on his way here, until he saw me hiding behind the lockers.
"Well see you in gym class." Jayden brightly smiled as he walked out of the room. His smile is probably his best feature. His smile always gives me a nice feeling but it's indescribable. What is this feeling? I've never really experienced it before. Well, I have but it feels a lot stronger.
I guess that's my cue to leave too. I pushed my way to the door.
"Have fun in gym, Miss. First grader! " I turned around, seeing Chris waving at me. I stick my tongue at him and walked down the halls. That took up a lot of my time. Great and I left my things in math class too! I hope the grade 12's won't look through my bag!
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Gym was just brutal. Not to mention that Jayden ignored me throughout the whole period. Why is he ignoring me? I think I'll never come to understand boys; they are too different.
"Hey Emily!" I turned to see Lily about to wrap her arms around me. My eyes widened as she clings on to my back. Where did she go? i didn't even see her in gym class!
"Lilz! Where were you?" I asked her and she raised her eyebrow; it's as if she didn't know what I was talking about.
"Didn't you get my text? I told you I was going to miss gym because I had somewhere to go." she said. Oh my gosh. Jayden still has my phone! I completely forgotten; I was so absorbed into the moment that I didn't even notice my phone was gone. I slapped my head.
"I left my phone at Jayden's house." I sighed.
"What?! But I send you a text!" I raised my eyebrow. Like what kind of texts? It doesn't even matter, my phone was almost out of battery anyways, so I'm sure he didn't see it. I'm not even sure if he even found my phone.
"What text message? What are you talking about?" I asked.
"Never mind. You'll see them when you get it back. I hope he doesn't see them or I'll be so ashamed of myself." she pouted. Aww, poor Lilz. I patted her back.
"Its okay, I'm pretty sure he didn't. My phone was almost out of battery." I smiled, trying to change that frown upside down.
"Oh that's good!" she sighed and I grabbed my gym bag.
"Lily, I'm sorry but can you go without me again?" She raised her eyebrow. Is that a good thing? She doesn't usually do that often.
"Again!? Are you dating someone?!" She opened her mouth wide and I covered it before she shouts anymore then she already did. Déjà vu. I rolled my eyes. First Chris and now her, can this day get any worse?
"Shh! Do you have to shout that out loud?!" I shushed her and she takes my hand off her mouth.
"Well are you?" She tried to ask in a quieter voice. Personally, It still sounds loud but at least she's trying and I love her for that.
"No! Where did you get that idea?" I asked her and she plopped on to the bench.
"Hm, I wonder why my friend keeps ditching me." she said; ignoring my question. I rolled my eyes. Wow Lily.
"Okay fine. I'll tell you." She immediately smiles and clings on to my arm, not letting me go.
"Then why do you keep leaving me behind?"
"I just have to go to Jayden's house to do the assignment together. That's all." She squealed and I can see the girls around us, staring.. I shushed her again.
"That's so great! Emily did you guys make out yet?" Make out!? Are you kidding me?! I'm not even his girlfriend! Not like he doesn't have one. To him, I'm just a waste of his time.
"What?! No! Lily!" she giggled gleefully and I rolled my eyes. I don't have time for this; I still have to wait for Jayden. I wonder if it's the same room, but it probably is.
"Lily, I really have to go." I slowly back away from her. This girl is just scary. She's always thinking that I have something going on with a guy but I don't! I'm innocent! She grasped on to my hands, before I had the chance to know what she was doing.
"Tell me everything when you get home!" She grinned widely. She's creeping me out right now! I quickly slip my hands out of her fingers.
"I got it! Sheesh, Lily!" I whinned. I shake my head; she's just so mature. Where does she get all these ideas anyways?
"Bye, Lilz! Say hi to Alyssa for me." I waved goodbye and quickly pushed the door open. Phew! I love her but she can be really bothersome. Oh well, nothing I can do about it. I better get going. I checked my watch: 3:40. I wonder if he's done.
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Hey! Well there you go :) What do you think of it? Hehe :) What do you think the rumors are about? Anyways bye bye! I'm so tired :(
~SwirlySmoothie! <3