Six months, that's how long it's been since all the chaos died down in my life. That's definitely a long ass time, but so much has actually happened throughout that period of time. Not only have my surroundings changed, but me as a person, has changed.
A couple days after I left California, Chris was rushed to the hospital for over dosing on pain medication. Corey had already left for the army, so Brianna was the only one that could take him. Apparently she found him laying on the floor, in the bathroom, not breathing. That was a scare for all of us, but he says he's doing fine now. He kept his word on texting me and calling me pretty much everyday.
Brianna and I never got back to how we used to be, but like I said, I've changed. I'm not the same petty girl that would argue along with her. So, as for me, I can hold a civilized conversation with her. If it wasn't for Chris, I probably wouldn't talk to her.
What do I mean by that? Well, two months later I found out that Brianna and Chris got engaged. Christopher called and told me, of course. I was shocked at first, but I'm happy that he's happy and isn't on me anymore.
As for Jarod, I guess he's doing alright. I haven't spoken to him since I walked in on him and Avery. Last I heard, he was doing fine. But I could careless if he wasn't, honestly.
Avery and I still talk. I wasn't lying when I said that I wasn't mad and that we could still be friends. If their happy together then it's better than me and him being together for nothing. She tells me that he got her a modeling gig, so now she's a Victoria Secret Angle. She goes under the name of Miranda Kerr now, but I still call her Avery.
Aubrey is getting so big now and as I said, I spend so much more time with her than I ever did. I enjoy watching her grow and change everyday. I try to teach her things and help her as much as I can. She's how one and she's so smart. I can't believe that I gave her up at one point.
Chresanto, his name brings a smile to my face, he's amazing. He treats me better than any man has ever treated me. It amazes me how much he loves Aubrey, likes she's his own. She acts so much like him, you would think that he's her biological dad. (I know what you guys are thinking, but Chresanto is not her dad. I only met him after Aubrey was three months.) He actually got me into modeling as well, I don't model for Victoria Secret though. He said he wasn't having that.
A few days after being back in New York, Chresanto asked me to be his girlfriend. As you would guess, I did respond with a "Yes." I have to tell you that that was one of the best decisions of my entire life. I can honestly say that I'm madly in love, and so is he. He only tells me that everyday.
And as for me, you would never think that I was how I was six months ago. I wasn't lying when I said New York was a fresh start for me. I got a job that my family would agree with and it pays me well. I don't sleep with every thing with legs and trust me, guys have asked me to, offering me some big dollars. I even went to the doctor and got my crotch stitched up. I was tight as a virgin and it hurt like hell, but Chresanto made that time for me as pleasurable as possible ;-) Chresanto also took me to church to get baptized and we go as a family every Sunday.
"Chanel, get in here." Speaking of Chresanto, there he is.
I failed to mention that we moved in together. It was his idea in the first place and after weeks of thinking about it, I finally said I would.
I peeked my head into the room and smiled, "Yes, dear?"
"Why are you trying to paint footballs on the walls? I told you," he said holding up a picture of a basketball. "We are this, not this." He held up the picture of the football and swapped them around.
"Sorry baby," I giggled. He was so serious about these things. "I forgot how you feel about footballs."
He rolled his eyes and smirked, putting the pictures down and walking towards me. "I love you," he kissed my cheek. "Have you decided on a color for the room?" He asked.
"I was thinking a light blue," I said.
He began rubbing my stomach, not in a weird way. I also didn't mention that I'm three months pregnant with a baby boy. We were deciding on how we should decorate his room now.
"I already called the painters, they should be here tomorrow." he said.
I told him over and over how much I wanted to paint the room, but wouldn't allow me to do that. Something about how the paint fumes are too strong and could harm our baby. I tried to explain that I could wear a face mask, but that still wasn't good enough for him. I decided not to keep arguing with him and just give in, I wouldn't win.
"Avery wants me to meet up with her to have lunch," I said and walked out. Only to be followed by him.
"Where you guys going?"
"Some new restaurant down town, I can never remember the name of it."
He nodded and kissed my forehead. "Be safe and call me when you arrive."
I threw on a simple dress and sandals. Dresses were the only thing I could really fit now a days anyway. I didn't mind though, they're comfortable. It was easier too, not having to decide on what I wanted to wear. I had one in and every pattern and color.
"Chres, Aubrey is asleep so when-" I started but was cut off by him.
"Baby, I know what to do now. Go ahead on," he said.
I forget that he was better at raising Aubrey than I was.
An hour later, I was sitting down in front of Avery. Our food had already arrived so now we were just eating and conversing. Nothing was really awkward with us, well, at least it wasn't at all awkward for me.
"So what's been up?" I asked. She hadn't really said much since we got here, and that wasn't like her. Something was bothering her.
"Oh, uh, nothing really. The same thing just different days," she weakly smiled.
"Okay spill it, what's wrong with you? And don't say nothing, 'cause I know that something is up."
"I-I'm pregnant," she paused. "Again."
I was some what speechless, only because of what happened with the last pregnancy and I didn't think she should handle this one the same way.
"Well, did you tell Jarod?"
"No, why should I? I'm not sure if I'm going to keep this one either."
I'm not sure what my facial expression looked like, but I know it wasn't a pleasant one.
"My career is going so well and this is just going to mess up my body. No good body means no more modeling," she finished.
"You sound selfish as hell." I was just going to give it to her straight. "How could you think about something like that? You need to think about how much of a blessing having a child is. Its not like your body can't get right after the pregnancy.
"And you need to tell Jarod. Do this pregnancy different. Tell him and see what he thinks about it. If he really 'loves' you then he'll stick by your side through it all. Just think before you abort this one."
"But I am still not ready for a freaking child Chanel, you don't understand." She sobbed.
"You think I don't understand?" I pointed to my stomach. "And I have one back at home that I had younger then when you got pregnant the first and second time. Of course I had thoughts of abortion, but that wouldn't have been fair to Aubrey. She deserved to be able to enjoy life and now I don't regret my decision one bit."
She looked like she was thinking long and hard on this one.
"How far along are you?" I asked.
"Two weeks, which means that no one knows except you. How long do you think I have before the modeling agency figures it out?"
"I didn't start showing until my second month, but I got huge really fast."
She nodded.
"Just give it some thought, alright? Promise me you will."
"I will," she agreed.
I flagged the waitress down and asked her for our bill. I paid my portion and we parted ways. I know Avery's life was really none of my business, but I really hope she decided not to kill this one.
I drove back home thinking about how my life would be different if I had went through with aborting Aubrey. She is most of the reason why I am how I am right now. If I had killed her, I would never forgive myself for it. I just cannot bring myself to abort my own.
When I found out I was pregnant, Chresanto sat down and had a long conversation. He practically begged me not to abort it, not that I was even thinking about doing that because I actually wasn't. I couldn't wait to have Chresanto's baby and he couldn't wait either.
I was finally home and I walked in to a sleeping Aubrey and Chresanto. They were in our bed and Aubrey was snuggled up under him with her bottle in her hand. I smiled to myself and pulled out my phone to take a picture.
I then picked up Aubrey and carried her back to her room and laid her in her crib. Soon it would be time to get her her first "big girl bed" and I was some what upset. Upset that she was growing up so fast.
Chresanto was now up and he patted the spot next to me, indicating he wanted me to lie down next to him. I took his offer and kicked my sandals off before getting into bed. He wrapped his arms around me almost instantly and I could feel his cool breath on my neck.
It was silent, but not the awkward kind. This was the kind of silence I enjoyed. Nothing really needed to be said.
"You know I ask myself everyday how I got so lucky to have you?" I said. "I'm so messed up and I put you through so much for us to get here."
"I'm the lucky one, you could have any guy you want and I know that. But it's my job to make sure that you never have to think about wanting anyone else," he said. "I put you through some shit too, y'know."
"I'm just happy that I finally came to my senses and admitted my feelings for you, or we would still be doing what we were doing months ago."
"I love you," he said. The way he said it sent chills down my spine. He's said it so many times, but it always got to me. He said it with so much power and intensity, I couldn't help but believe it.
"I love you, too."
I wasn't the easiest person and I didn't have the cleanest past. Hell, my past is probably dirtier than anyone I would come across. But Chresanto accepted me and he made sure I knew that he loved me every day of the week. He accepted me, Faults and all.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------