It's been a little over two weeks since I sat down in the diner with Xavi. The process has been slow but I think we are finally in a good place. I owe a lot of that to Circe. She has explained so much to Xavi and opened up his mind to alternate lifestyles. However, it is definitely not a lifestyle option for him. Surprisingly, neither is it for Circe. Come to find out it's just a gimmick she uses at the club. She learned everything she knew about BDSM through conversations with Gage. When she told Xavi this, his face was priceless. You can bet your sweet ass it took a long conversation with Circe to make him comfortable with Gage being around me. He still refuses to leave Gage and I alone together.
I haven't seen much of Natasha and Torie since I moved. I've been spending most of my spare time with Circe. My brother was right. She's an awesome chick once you get to know her. Between her and Thomas, most of my down time stays filled. When I'm not with them I'm working or with my brother. Xavi did have one request in regards to the entire situation with Ethan and David. He asked if I could take a break from the two of them while he was "taking it all in." He told me things were tense enough between them and around the house in general. Xavi doesn't really know what to say or how to act around them. The whole environment is just uncomfortable all the way around. Ethan and I both told Xavi that we understood.
While Ethan and I talk, mostly at work, David is a completely different story. He won't talk to me outside of work. Most of the time he is cordial at the club. He says hello, asks and answers work related questions and that sort of thing. On rare occasions I might catch him looking at me. When I catch his eye, however, he quickly walks away. There was one time at work, he stepped to me and opened his mouth with a deep breath. I froze, waiting for whatever windfall was about to explode from him. Instead his chest just slowly deflated like a balloon and his eyes fell to his feet. When he turned away I grabbed his arm and he yanked it away as if my touch burned him. He glared at me hard before walking away. I let him go. I'm still not exactly sure what that was all about.
I'm sorta glad that I decided to take a break. It has given me time to do a lot of thinking. I've noticed that since we stopped having sex Ethan and I don't really seem the same. I know we care for each other, that's not what I mean. It's just we've known each other all our lives. All of my stories he's already heard or they are his stories too. We know everything about each other. There is nothing new to learn. Take away the physical connection and we seem to be left with a lot of awkward silence time on the phone. I've also been thinking about myself and my life and what I really want. All of this started because someone who said they loved me wanted to turn my fantasy into a reality. But is this something he really wants or was it something fun to try? Did I get all I wanted out of it? Or was that simply my first step toward a lifestyle I never knew I needed? If we are on the same page, where would we go from here? Does David play a role? Does he still want to? What if Ethan and I don't feel the same way about this lifestyle? If I had to choose I'm honestly not sure what choice I would make. My phone lights up on the table as my text alert sounds. I'm off for the weekend and have plans with Circe. I've been sitting around just waiting for her to get home.
Text Message:
Circe: Hey babe, finally at the house. Head over whenever. Let me know so I can
order pizza.
Me: Hey hottie! Waiting on you, leaving now. Be there soon.
I'm staying with her tonight. Movies, pizza, drinking, just your typical girls night. I left Thomas a note so he wouldn't worry. I grab my bag before locking up and getting into my car. I shot Xavi a text even though I know he's working. I've been trying to keep him in the loop when I get out of the house. I guess I've been trying to keep us close since the move.
I pulled into Circe's driveway and a motorcycle pulled in behind me. It's Gage wearing snug dark blue jeans and a fitted black t-shirt that shows off his pecs and muscular arms. "Hey Gage, how's it going?" I hope to God I'm not too obvious as I let my eyes wander checking him out. "Oh, all and all I can't complain. How about you darlin', you doin' alright?" He hangs his helmet on the side of his bike. "Yep, glad to finally have a weekend off. It's been a while since I've had that privilege." I reach in the back of my car for my things. "I see you're making a night of it," he gestures to the bag in my hands. "Oh yeah, we decided to stay here with movies and pizza." We walk side by side toward the house. "I hope you don't mind. I didn't even think to check with you. I honestly thought you'd be out for the night. You can always hang with us." I shift my bag on my shoulder and turn to look at him. "Ah nah, you're good. I'm just going to grab a quick bite to eat and take a shower then I'm going out." He slips his hands into his pockets. "Anything fun lined up?" He smiles, laughing deeply while lowering his head and rubbing his jaw. "Oh God, I hope so darlin'....... That's the goal anyway." I blushed for some reason at his reaction. But my curiosity is piqued so I tilt my head to the side. He quickly reads the question in my eyes. "Oooh no." He shakes his head, his smile widening. "What?" My voice couldn't drip with more innocence if I were a toddler. "You are too nosey for your own good sweetheart." With his index finger he gives the tip of my nose a light tap. What am I, eight years old?
He sidesteps me, clearly amused by something I don't know. "I'm starving and I smell pizza." I follow him inside the house. "What's up baby girl?" He kisses Circe on the cheek before snatching three slices of pizza and bolting for the stairs. "Hey shithead, I didn't order this for you!" Circe cries out after him. All we hear is more laughter and then a door slam. "Pig!" Circe mumbles her disdain. The smirk on her face contradicts the contempt of her words. "So how was work last night? Is David still playing hot and cold?" She grabs a slice of pizza before passing me the box."More like cold and deep freeze," I chuckle as I sit on the floor by the coffee table. "You're a better woman than me. I'd have cut that shit loose already. He ain't even trying girl." She looks at me exasperated."Well that one night I thought he was about to-" She cuts me off with a hearty laugh."Damn girl, for all you know he was about to tell you to bus table twelve." Raising my eyebrows, my head leans slightly as my lips purse in contemplation. I gotta admit, the girl has a point. "What about you and Xavi? When is that gonna get off the ground?" It's blatantly obvious there is something brewing between them. I know they both want it. I take a huge gulp of my drink when Circe decides to answer. "I don't know...... it's complicated."
Half my drink goes into my lungs while the other half shoots out my nose. She dies laughing as I slowly choke and hope I don't drown. "You did NOT just tell ME that your relationship status is complicated." She seems to think about it for a second. "Okay, how about ....tricky at the moment." When my throat finally settles we polish off the last of the pizza. "So where's Gage off to tonight? I suggested he join us but he said he had plans." We started digging through their movie collection. Just for kicks we decided to do an old movie night. "Uh, yeah.....he does." She's got a lap full of dvd's and one in each hand. "Soooo....." Currently she is reading the back of one and not really paying attention to me. "Huh? What?" She finally looks up at me in confusion. Clearly she wasn't listening. "What are you in the mood for? Horror, action, maybe mystery thriller... or maybe a really good comedy? I'd rather not do a deep drama or a rom-com. I'm just not feeling it," Circe states as she glances down at the pile of options around her. "Whatever you want is fine. I'm pretty easy as long as it's good." I hear Circe mumble,"That's what she said."
"Nice!" I chuckle reaching for my drink. I hear footsteps on the stairs and realize Gage is about to leave. "I can't believe you are going to abandon us. I hope you at least get lucky tonight." I spoke loud enough for him to hear but he didn't reply. I snicker at Circe who has her back to me putting on a movie. Holy shit! I didn't say that out loud....I don't think. Gage is leaning against the wall adjusting his shirt cuffs or something. I must make some sort of noise because he turns to face me. Still leaning on the wall, his hands slide effortlessly into his pockets. My brain turns to mush as my eyes travel from his head to his toes and back again. He's wearing a black suit with a bow tie and he looks absolutely delicious. "What do you think darlin'? Do I clean up alright?" I answer immediately without running my thoughts through any form of filter. "Oh God yes," I practically moan, "I-I-I mean um, you look....you look great." I stumble over my words as my face invents a new intense shade of red. A smile creeps across his face as I stammer like an idiot. But bloody hell! I think I may need to change my panties and we have to be at least three feet or more apart. I have to say, that suit is definitely working for him. Hell, it's working for me as well.
"Okay, I have to know where you are going dressed like that. I'm sorry but that is not your normal Saturday night outfit." Circe appears in the doorway and I catch her winking at Gage. "Heading out?" Her tone holds a hint of teasing in it. "Yeah, I'll text you if anything changes but I don't plan on staying any later than 2am." I look back and forth between them hoping for additional information. "No problem, you're a big boy. Just stay out of trouble." It soon becomes apparent I won't be receiving any. "Come on babe, let's get this movie rolling." She turns to walk back into the living room. "Both of you suck. You know I hate secrets. I want you both to know, I will find out. One of you will break, just wait and see." I cross my arms and smile sweetly up at Gage. "Good luck with that, Katya. Goodnight ladies." He grabs the keys to the SUV and takes off to who knows where.
Alright, fine. Looking into the living room I set my eyes on my target. With determination and purpose I strolled toward my unsuspecting friend. I hate to say it but I possess a skill set that I shouldn't be proud of. Among my many talents, deceit and manipulation are high on the list. My parents fell into many traps over the years giving me plenty of practice. It wasn't long before I watched her fold like a house of cards. "Fine! God, you can be so annoying when you want to be. Did you know that?" Circe growls with heated eyes. Too easy. "Oh yeah, I've perfected it over time. I can also continue for daaayyysss." I drag out that last word for emphasis. "Ooh no, no, no. It's the first Saturday of the month. He had a party to attend okay?" I look at her and scoff. "There is no way he is just going to a party in those clothes. I've heard him talk about his friends and their party spots. Bullshit, try again." Circe huffs really hard as I cross my arms and wait. "It's not just any party, okay. It's a 'party'." She throws some air quotes around the word party and I furrow my brow. "Jesus babe!I love you but sometimes I worry that no one is home." She indicates my head as I open my hand, smacking her arm. "Screw you, just say what you mean you cryptic hoe," I admonish with a chuckle. "A sex party honey. It's a gathering that someone in his community holds monthly. It's a place for like minded people to meet and make connections."
"Is it like....a big orgy or something?" Her burst of laughter makes me self conscious. I avert my eyes as I feel my neck and face flush. "I'm sorry, I forgot that all of this is new to you. I had the same questions so don't be embarrassed. Gage teased me mercilessly," she explained with sincerity. "I'm sorry, I'm just very curious and I......well I miss it." I stare down at my lap. "Yeah it's hard to go from constant good sex to a total dry spell." My voice is so quiet I almost don't realize I speak. "No." I clear my throat as I set down my glass. "No?" She looks at me questioningly. "No, I don't miss the actual sex so much. It's more giving up control that I miss. Allowing someone to take my mind and body to the edge of all reason again and again until I'm begging, pleading in agonizing bliss. Pleasing someone at their whimsy for the sheer joy of praise and the titillating hope of a delicious reward. Enduring punishment for infractions in order to show contrition or perhaps being bad purposely because I crave a little discipline...." I stopped talking when I realized the room went silent. Circe paused the video and had her knees up with her arms wrapped around them. "Well go on..... I'm listening."
Her eyes are glued to me as she sits almost literally on the edge of her seat. "I'm done, and you're looking at me weird." She quickly wipes the intense expression from her face. "I'm sorry, I just find it interesting. I've only ever had my brother to talk to about it and everything is from his point of view. I find hearing it from your side very fascinating." I barely hear her because I've been thinking and have made a decision."I want to see this party," I informed her before taking a sip of my drink. "I don't think he'll take you babe. They have some beginner's parties. Maybe he will take you to one of those." I'm amused at her words knowing she didn't understand what I meant. "I didn't say I wanted to go, I said I wanted to see it. It's not the same thing. Come on." I get up, walking toward her bedroom. "What are you doing?" She asks wearily as she stands to follow me. "Something I shouldn't and you're going to help me." I start up the stairs. "No I'm not," she insists as she follows on my heels. "Oh yes you are," I chide and smile widely over my shoulder in her direction. "No Kit, I'm not." She stops and looks at me from the doorway of her room. I reach into her closet and pull out a dress and toss it in her direction. "Oh yes Circe, you most definitely are."
*** *** ***
"I don't know how I let you talk me into this." We are in my car and on our way to this so-called 'party'. "I already told you, we aren't going in. We won't even be seen. I'm just curious. If the place is half as big as you say we get in, look through a few windows, and maybe find an open patio. In and out, no big deal." I glance between her and the road as she continues her rant. "Then why the fuck am I in this dress huh?" I roll my eyes and suppress my laughter. "Because you bitched and bitched about being caught. At least this way if we are seen we blend in. Hopefully we won't be approached." She leans forward and starts pointing through the windshield. "Turn right up here, then pull over and park right past the second driveway." I do as she says and turn off the car. The houses over here are huge, even bigger than David's, and set far back off the road. "If we are approached, for any reason at all, let me do the talking. Just please keep your mouth shut. I may not know much but I know more than you do babe. Hopefully enough to buy us a little get away time."
We step out of the car and I follow her as we walk up the property line. "So we are going in through a hidden iron garden gate on the side of the property." I look around and notice the gate a few feet away. "Why would they leave a run down gate here?" She opened it and we both walked through before she closed it behind us. "I don't ask questions, Kit. I heard she thinks it's creepy which she likes." We continue walking toward the house, keeping ourselves masked behind the many trees that line the yard. "I can't believe two of my best dresses are being dragged across a massive lawn. You better not tear it either." Circe is wearing a sleeveless gown that is half black and half white. The dress is long with a high slit in the front and flows down almost dragging the ground. She loaned me a fitted black gown with beaded detail on the bodice and right above the knee. The dress has a ruffle that falls around the knee in the front but is cut at an angle so that the back forms a sort of train. "Would you stop already? You're taking the fun out of this," I complain.
All of a sudden she whirls around and slams me hard up against a tree throwing her hand over my mouth. "Shit, fuck," she mouths barely audible, "I am so fucked!" Holding me still she peeks carefully around the tree. "What?" I question when she loosens her hand over my mouth. Pressing her hand tighter to cut off my words she points a finger straight in my face. Her eyes are wide with panic. "Shut.the.fuck.up!" she hisses through gritted teeth. "One of my regulars is here. He always wants to see me outside the club and I'm constantly telling him no. I can't let him see me. I get a lot of money from him, Kit.....A Lot! I count on it, it's a huge chunk of what I pay for school. Fuck Me!"
A voice wafts across the yard towards us. "My dark princess, is it really you? My God love, you get over here right this instant and say hello to me properly." She attempts to compose herself before leaving me with a final warning. "God damn it! You stay right here, understand? I'm ditching him and we are out of here. Do you hear me? O-U-T, out." I nod my head feeling disappointed. At the same time I feel terrible that I've put her in this position. I watch as she plasters on a smile and crosses the yard to approach him. He's standing at the edge of a patio with his arm stretched wide and a huge grin on his lips. Circe steps up to him and they embrace like old friends. He holds her by the waist as they talk and he walks her over to a small group of people and introduces her. I am pretty far away so seeing past them is next to impossible. There's no use trying for the windows either because the hedges are too high. I can see a guy up on one of the balconies with his pants around his ankles. Is that a woman on her knees in front of him? I walk back a few steps attempting to get a better look. Before I can register what is happening there is a hand in mine and I am yanked hard behind some nearby shrubs. I don't even have time to scream before I find myself face to face with a very pissed off Gage.
He grabs me by my shoulders and pulls me to him until his face is inches from my own. I can see the vein pulsating in his throat. He is scowling, his face twisted in a way I've never seen before. I don't like it. His eyes are filled with unbridled rage but what frightens me is the low calm voice that comes from his lips."You've got exactly one minute to tell me what you're doing here and why I shouldn't just spank your sneaky ass right here on the spot!" I let out a cross between a gasp and a moan at his words. His eyes widened as if what he actually said just registered in his brain. I wobble slightly as my knees go weak. Instantly he realizes the effect he is having on me. I can't think, my eyes are glued to his and I swallow hard trying to clear my throat. I watch him try to hide his smirk as he steps back. He keeps one hand on my waist pinning me to the tree."Alright Katya...," he says in a sultry tone, "..... time to start talking."