"I think I'm in love." I sighed as I sunk into the couch. Sparks rose from the fire place putting me at ease. It added onto the comfortable space the cabin already had. Andrew flopped down on the other side of the couch beside me, kicking one of his legs onto the coffee table.
"Feels good, doesn't it?" He smirked.
"Ugh, it does. I could spend all night here!" I slouched down further.
"I mean, sure. There's enough space and it's not being occupied right now." He shrugged.
"Wait, are you serious?" I shot up, studying him. "You're just fucking with me, aren't you?"
There was a ghost of a smile on his face as he threw his hands up in surrender. "Hey, you suggested it. Not me." He laughed. I rolled my eyes and chucked the nearest pillow at him.
"Oh no, you're just as abusive as Skylar," he feigned.
I laughed and shook my head. "You haven't seen anything yet."
"How did you and Skylar meet anyways? You two are an interesting pair."
"Oh God, don't get me started on that one. We didn't go to the same school, but we entered the same summer program in eighth grade. It was the kind of program parents threw their kids into if they worked late or just wanted to keep their kids out of the house for another few hours.
"Skylar got into an argument—that almost turned into a fist fight—with some girl. I somehow got caught up in the mess by an accident on my way to the bathroom. The girl thought Skylar and I were friends, and that I was trying to defend her, when really, I just wanted to get inside the bathroom. Skylar's mouth was out of control when she was younger.
"I kid you not. She legit said these words to her, for a girl who doesn't suck dick, you sure open your mouth a lot. We all ended up getting in trouble and sent home by the counselors. And we weren't allowed back in the program. Our parents were furious when they had to come pick us up. But we've been friends ever since."
By the end of my story, Andrew was hunched over in laughter. He was laughing so hard, he started coughing. "Oh, my fucking God," he coughed out. "Are you serious!?"
"Yup," I said.
"Wow. That girl is something else. I knew she was crazy, but damn. She's bold, huh?"
"That's Skylar for you." I laughed with him.
We both continued to drown the room in laughter until the living room grew quiet again. Andrew's gaze met mine, a small smile finding its way onto his lips.
"You know, I had a lot of fun with you today. You're really cool to hang out with," he said.
That cracked a smile out of me. Damnit, I was doing a terrible job at keeping my distance. "I had fun with you too, Andrew. Your company is refreshing. And you're pretty cute." I hadn't realized he had gotten closer until I finished my sentence.
"Oh? Am I?" He grinned.
"Just a little," I teased.
He chuckled and shook his head. "Can we do this again some time? I'd really like to hang out with you again." His lone dimple popped out through his cheeky smile. This wasn't a date, the voice in the back of my head screamed.
"Maybe." I shrugged.
"That's okay. I'll let you think about it." He laughed under his breath.
Somehow, that was all it took to close the space between us. I couldn't help it. And I wasn't sure who initiated it first—him or myself. All I knew was, the kiss was happening.
"Wait, wait, no. We shouldn't!" I forced myself to back away. "I mean, I shouldn't. I don't want to lead you on like this. I don't know if I'll be staying permanently when the summer's over. I haven't made a decision yet." I sighed.
"Permanently? You're only staying with Skylar for the summer?" He cocked an eyebrow.
I nodded. "Things in New York City weren't so good for me. I left to get a break. But I don't know if I'll be staying or returning yet." I don't know if I have the guts to leave my dad behind, was what I should have said.
Andrew nodded in understanding. "Okay, I get that. That must be a hard decision to make."
"It is. . ." I frowned.
As bad as I wanted to go with the flow and test the dating waters with him, Andrew was kind. He was the kind of guy you'd start a serious relationship with. Well, at least that's how he seemed. He didn't deserve to date me and have his heart broken because I couldn't make up my mind. If it even got to that point between us. And by the looks of it, he was very interested in dating me, just like Skylar said.
I could feel his eyes wandering over me from the side. The silence was growing unbearable, but I didn't know what to say. This sweet guy was interested in me and I turned him down. It wasn't every day someone was interested in getting to know me like this.
It wasn't until he blurted, "What if we keep things casual?"
"What?" My eyebrows drew together in confusion.
"Casual. You and I? No strings attached."
"Like a one-night stand? Or a summer fling?" I wasn't one for one-night stands. The first time I tried it, I ended up dating the guy. It was then I realized they weren't for me. But casual relationships weren't something that ever crossed my mind.
"Um" —he scratched the back of his head—"something like that, I guess? I don't know. Whatever you're comfortable with, honestly. Something to make things easier for you," he rambled slightly.
"What does your definition of a casual relationship entitle?" I crossed my arms, leaning back.
"You know, hanging out and—"
"Sex?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"It doesn't have to be sex." He cleared his throat and avoided my eyes, clearly even more flustered by my comment.
"Are you sure that's something you want? How can you be so sure there'd be no feelings involved?" I challenged. He shrugged. But he didn't answer. I studied him some more.
I wasn't sure what broke me, but something did. And I gave in.
"Okay then. . ."
"Really?" His eyebrows shot up in surprise.
I nodded and shrugged. "Yeah. I want to try it out. Nothing serious, right? Just between us. Dating for the summer. That should be fun."
He chuckled and held his pinky finger out. "Right. Just between us. You have my word."
* * *
Though, he had said there didn't need to be any sex involved, I insisted. I was going to get the most out of this summer while my aunt wasn't hindering over my life. And damn, did it feel good to be in control.
Our clothes had been removed a while ago. But the intimacy was more than what I intended for it to be. It's just sex Chastity, I repeatedly told myself as his lips left wet traces down my naked body. So, why did it feel like so much more?
From the moment he tore open the condom's foil wrapping to this moment, the touch of his lips sent chills through my veins. With every kiss, my core tightened. His heavy breathing filled my ears as his hips thrust into mine again. I molded into him and bit back a whimper.
My body seemed to have been reacting differently than my mind. I knew I was enjoying this experience to the fullest. There was a voice in my mind freaking the hell out, however. I had tried my best to continue enjoying it for what it was, but something kept interrupting my state of peace.
This wasn't right. Something was wrong.
His breaths soon turned into pants, then moans, as he bit the nip of my neck down to my collarbone. And I found myself matching the noises. I closed my eyes to block out the heavy feeling in my chest. It worked for a few seconds. But that's when it all clicked.
"T-Thomas," my voice came out hoarse and weak. "Thomas," I tried again.
The soft moans that were slipping out of my mouth. . . The name I was moaning. . . That wasn't me. And the shirtless man in my arms, hovering over me, wasn't Andrew.
Thomas. It was Thomas? What the hell was Thomas—Julia's Thomas—doing with Delilah? I didn't have much time to brainstorm because a gasp shot out of me as I felt something press against my lower body, in between my legs. I assumed it was his groin.
Delilah's body had still been covered with her bra and underwear, so we weren't naked. That was a relief. But they were close to stripping each other down fully.
Where were they? Well, where were we anyway? My head fell to the side as my eyelids fluttered open and closed, heavy with lust. This looked like someone's room. It wasn't Delilah's room. I knew that for sure. This room had somewhat of a man's touch. It was plain with few posters here and there. I was willing to bet it was Thomas' room.
It was like Delilah's brain lacked the option to function. I kept drifting in and out of consciousness. Or so I thought. As soon as I felt the clasp on the back of my bra loosen, my eyes widened, and I shot up.
"Wait, Thomas! No!" I shoved him back just enough to create distance between us.
"What's wrong?" He lifted his head, frowning.
"I can't do this," I said, motioning between us, "we can't do this. You and Julia just broke up a few days ago."
"Oh." He sighed. "Right."
I could feel his frustration as he quickly ran his fingers through his hair, scowling. Why did he act frustrated towards Delilah's words? If that was his reaction, what did that say about him and Julia's relationship? Was he even in love with that girl? Every time I saw her, she was quiet, and stuck to his side like glue. Like she was warning any and every human to stay back.
"Thomas, look at me," I pleaded. What kind of spell did she have cast over this man? All it took was the gentleness in her voice for him to abide.
"This is wrong. We can't do this. We're friends. We're close friends. Julia already hates me because of that. I don't need her thinking she was right all this time and I was going after her boyfriend to screw him. Besides, I love you. That's why I won't be a rebound for you.
"Julia is toxic. Your relationship is toxic. You two are no good for each other. But you have to realize that yourself. This can't happen. Especially not like this. I need you to figure out what's best for you, Thomas. Not her, but you. Please. You can't go on like this."
When I finished talking, all was quiet. There was a conflicted expression on his face as he thought over my words. It was like he didn't know what to do. Was he in love with Delilah? I couldn't tell from just this. She said they were close. So, I was assuming they were best friends or something.
Everything about this was strange. Looking him in the eyes and seeing him in a different light around Delilah was strange. Knowing I had almost slept with him, even if it wasn't exactly me, was strange. No wonder I felt uncomfortable with Andrew. It was like Delilah's emotions intertwined with mine. This was too intimate for my liking.
It was clear they had something deeper going on. Even if neither of them was accepting it.
"You're right. I'm sorry," Thomas finally spoke. His head hung low and his hair fell over his eyes. One of his hands were still wrapped around her wrist—the wrist with the charm bracelet. He slowly removed his hand and stood.
"Where are you going?" I asked. Worry drowned my tone as I shielded my upper half with the nearest blanket. "I wasn't telling you to leave. Talk to me. Please, Thomas?"
"No, y-you should get dressed and go before it gets late. Your parents will start to worry. I'll walk you home. I'm sorry, Delilah. I shouldn't have dragged you into this. I'm sorry," was all he said, before he gathered his things and exited the room.
Delilah was conflicted. I could feel it in my chest. Her heart was heavy and it was battling against her mind. She had feelings for Thomas. There was no denying that. I wondered if this was something they did often. Because the pain was bearable like she was used to it.
Their walk to her house was unsettling. Him and I were side by side but we hadn't said another word since we left his apartment. All we did was take small glances at each other when we had the chance.
If he cared so much about Delilah, why was he forcing himself to be in a relationship with Julia? It didn't make sense. Then again, Delilah said their relationship was toxic. It seemed like they just kept coming back to each other. I knew quite a few people like that in high school.
These memories were giving me more questions than answers and it was starting to drive me crazy.
"Chastity . . . Chastity, are you okay!? Did I do something wrong?" Andrew's worried expression was the first thing I was met with when I was me again.
"A-Andrew?" I looked around. I was back. Oh God, I was back! I was back in the cabin with Andrew. Thank goodness. "No, no! You didn't do anything wrong. I swear."
"Why are you crying then?" His frown deepened.
"I'm crying?" I asked, baffled. Shit. Delilah made me cry.
"You are. . ." he murmured.
I quickly pressed a kiss to his lips and smiled the best I could. "Maybe it was because you're just that good," I joked to lighten the mood again. It wasn't enough to clear his worry, but it cracked a small smile out of him, clearing the tension a bit.
"Way to boost a guy's ego," he joked back.
We had spent almost the entire day together and nearly the rest of the evening in the cabin until the hours had quietly gone by.
"Shit. It's after eight. I should get you home now. The sun is almost set." Andrew lifted himself off the couch, collecting his clothes. I almost forgot we were still naked.
"Shit. Right," I paused. "Wait, do you think Jason is still with Skylar?" I grimaced.
He paused as well. "The offer's still on the table if you want to stay the night here," he said jokingly, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
I laughed and shook my head. "That's okay. Maybe next time."
* * *
I didn't remember Skylar's house being this far from the cabin. It felt like we'd been driving for hours, when it was only twelve minutes. It was hard to look at Andrew's face without seeing Thomas in my arms.
Seriously, Delilah? Could she not have shown me that at a better time when I wasn't sleeping with someone? Especially not the guy's best friend. It was so awkward.
Delilah's memories were one big puzzle I couldn't figure out. Then, she threw Thomas into the equation and screwed my mind up more. Where the hell had she fit into everyone's lives that these memories were so connected? Thomas' best friend. Camille and her girlfriend, Makayla's friend. Oliver's co-worker and obvious crush.
And her family . . . I hadn't seen much of them in her memories. Where the hell had they fit into her life? Were they as close and tight-knit perfect as they seemed? I needed clarity more than ever right now.
"Hey, we're here." Andrew nudged my side. "Come on, I'll walk you to the door."
"Thank you for today, Andrew. And you don't have to, really—"
"Ah, ah, ah. Don't worry about it." He smiled. "Besides, Skylar would kill me if I weren't a gentleman to you."
"Fair enough." The walk from the car to the house was comforting and slow, at least until we reached the door.
"Aren't you going to go in?" Andrew asked as I hesitated. Well, I thought it was still Andrew. But Andrew's voice wasn't that deep nor were his eyes blue. And my skin was always the main factor in the switch. My keys were clutched in between my slightly trembling fingers. Though, Thomas didn't notice them.
"Why have there been so many cops patrolling your neighborhood lately?" Thomas continued, looking in the opposite direction. I followed his movement to a cop car that was driving past us with the sirens off.
"Something about gun shots near the area two weeks ago. I think somewhere deep in the woods." I shrugged. Her urges to tell someone about what happened that night was starting to kick in. It wasn't hard to tell from the sweat drowning my pores and the pit of my stomach sinking in.
"Gunshots!? What are you talking about?"
"It was nothing. Really," I said, shrugging again. Delilah was far from calm about this though. "Two cops showed up at my house on March 21st. I overheard them while Ian and I were eating at the table. They mentioned something about gunshots that went off in the area the past two nights before, to my parents. I guess there were two different shootings reported on both nights."
"Shit, really? Both nights before? Why didn't you say anything?" Thomas shook his head. "Damn, maybe those shots have something to do with Damon's disappearance. There still hasn't been any trace of him," he muttered.
I tensed and let out a nervous laugh, far from humorous. "Yeah. That might be true. I hope they find out what happened to him soon. . ."
"I do too. This shit is depressing." Thomas shook his head with a scoff. "Oh, and Delilah . . . I know what happened between you and Silvia."
I stopped breathing. All it took were the words I know and Silvia to trigger a panic. "What? Y-you do?"
"Yeah. Oliver told me how she stormed into the store and demanded you talk to her outside. Do you want me to handle her?"
"Oh." I sighed and laughed nervously again. Geez, my palms were sweating more now. "Oh, no. It's fine."
"Are you sure? I'll make sure she doesn't bother you in the store anymore—"
"No! I swear. It's fine. Don't worry about it. She'll get over it. Also, let's, um . . . forget about what happened tonight, okay? Goodnight, Thomas." Before he could get another word in, I had finally opened the house door, and ran inside.