The days of May began blurring together. Too short and too long, all at once. Agitation crept into everyone in sanctuary.
Dorset disappeared one day. No one said a word about what happened to him, and his disappearance brought no distress. Some of the fortune went with him. Some of the fortune went with him and no one spoke of that matter either.
Bess and I read. It was the only escape in the sanctuary. But Bess' reading choices troubled me. Roman tragedies did not seem like a merry subject at the moment.
Cecily started emerging from the bedchamber, looking more like a ghost than my sister. Her long, dark blonde hair went undone. She scarcely spoke and often sat at the window, staring at the sky.
Bridget and Katherine became absolutely unmanageable. Everyone became accustomed to their stockinged feet thudding the floorboards as they ran around.
They were smart enough to cease their scampering when their mother appeared.
Dickon tensed every time that a messenger from Court arrived. Old enough to know Uncle Richard wanted him and his value as an heir.
After a fortnight in sanctuary, supplies diminished. The Abbot's pantry wasn't enough for a large royal family and dependants. Elizabeth refused to give many coins for the necessities of life.
"Wars are expensive, after all," Bess mumbled.
I twitched. We were meeting with a merchant who had come to sell us food. I didn't want to say anything while the merchant stood in front of us. I didn't like the look of him. Sharp eyes, weathered skin, and a knowing look.
"Never did I think I'd be doing business with princesses," Master Browne said, far too proud of his accomplishment.
"I am not a princess," I said quietly.
He raised an eyebrow. "I thought Princess Elizabeth referred to you as her sister."
"She is my natural sister, good sir," Bess said with a pleasant smile on her face.
Realization dawned on his face, and he chuckled. "I can't imagine the Queen takes kindly to her husband's bastard here. My wife would toss her out on her arse." He cleared his throat and nodded to Bess. "Begging your pardon, Your Highness."
My face burned. I had rarely heard my situation put in such a crude manner. I wanted to melt back into the shadows.
Bess didn't lose her smile, but it became sharper. "Grace is a loyal companion to my lady mother. That fish doesn't look too fresh."
He shrugged, turning back to his wares. "I suppose it's not what you're used to in the royal palaces. But any goodwife of the City would be proud to have it on her table."
Bess nodded at me. "Pay him, dearest Grace."
I carefully got out the price he named. I wasn't accustomed to handling coin myself, although I had been educated to understand household accounts.
"Wait," a clear voice called out.
Bess and I jolted. Jane Shore had slipped out of another private meeting with Elizabeth. She frowned at the coins in my hand.
"Master Browne, are you trying to swindle the family of our great King Edward?" she asked sharply. "Those fish are scarce worth half that amount of coin."
He scowled. "I am courting disfavor of the Lord Protector by even being here. It's only for the memory of the great King Edward that I risk it."
Jane narrowed her eyes. "Taking advantage of the desperate in sanctuary has ever been a despicable skill of yours. You ought to show more compassion to the family of Edward. Didn't I beseech him to help with your debts during that one winter?"
He shrunk a bit. "Aye."
Jane nodded. "Half the price, no more."
A grudging exchange was made, and the surly merchant took his leave.
Bess exhaled. "Thank you, Mistress Shore. I'm afraid none of us are too acquainted with the fair price for things."
"Nor should you be," Jane said with her easy sweetness. "But don't trust any of these opportunists who show up. Always assume the true price is half as much."
"Why would he try to cheat us?" I asked. "Shouldn't he be worried about the Queen's disfavor when she's restored?"
"He is likely certain that Mama will never have the opportunity for revenge," Bess said in a crisp tone, taking the fish before I could do it.
I stayed silent. I sensed she just wanted to get away from Jane Shore. But it left me in the awkward position of standing next to the woman.
"Thank you for the help, Mistress." I bowed my head. "It didn't occur to me that the merchant would try to cheat a princess."
"They always try to cheat," Jane said with a rueful shrug. "My father was a merchant, and I heard all the tricks since I was a lass, younger than you."
"It's a sin," I said with fierce anger. "Especially in sanctuary. There ought to be laws to protect unscrupulous men from taking advantage of the desperate."
The rage surprised me. I hadn't been angry about anything, but absolute fury stormed inside at Browne and how he planned to trick us.
"Is there no recourse to take someone like him to justice?" I asked. "This seems to be something he does a lot. It cannot only be for a Queen?"
"Indeed, but no one will fault him for making a few pence on those who need his supplies," Jane said.
I balled my fists. "It's wrong."
Jane's eyes twinkled. "Mistress Grace, you have what someone I loved called the 'righteousness of youth'."
I frowned. "What does that mean?"
"He said the young often feel passionately and intensely about justice, but it fades with time."
"The moral choices ought to never fade with time!" I protested hotly.
Then I remembered I was speaking of morals with my father's mistress, and I was the daughter of another mistress.
"When you grow older, you learn the righteous choice isn't always the best choice." Jane heaved a sigh. "Your father overthrew an anointed king, but to protect his family and England. Do you question your father's choices?"
When she put it like that, I could offer no argument.
She smoothed out her deep blue sleeve. "I must be leaving. I'll send some food for your table. I hate to think of Edward's little poppets choking on bad fish."
I mustered a smile as Jane Shore swept out of sanctuary, extinguishing the little light that she brought with her. I didn't know how she managed to get into sanctuary without attracting much notice. We didn't have any other visitors. Even the Abbot stayed clear of his own home.
"Grace!" Katherine ran up. "Look what Mistress Jane brought me."
She held up a doll, swathed in cloth of gold. Katherine beamed as if Jane had given her a crown.
"How lovely," I said. "You must share with Bridget."
Katherine shook her head, golden curls escaping her cap. "No. Bridget ripped the other one. She can have it. Doesn't it look like Mama?"
"Aye," I lied, pretending the scrap of cloth held any resemblance to her mother. "A Queen doll."
"Mama's not a Queen anymore," Katherine said.
I looked at her sharply. "Of course your mama is Queen. Why would you say such a thing?"
"I heard men saying." Katherine's attention was fixed on her doll. "And Queens don't live in a church. Does that mean Mama's an abbess now?"
"Not at all." I patted Katherine. "And don't you dare let your mama hear you say it."
Katherine ran off, and I looked around our small quarters, trying to figure out who could have put that poison into her. Queen Elizabeth's wrath would be a storm to rival the Great Flood if she found out.
Bess returned, rubbing her hands together. "I want to get a better notion on fair prices," she said. "I don't intend to be swindled while we're here."
"We won't be here for much longer, right?" I asked.
She rubbed her head. "I have no notion, Grace. But once people learn they can take advantage of us, they'll never stop."
"It didn't happen this time," I said.
"Because Mistress Shore intervened for us," Bess said. "All that showed to Master Browne is that we're foolish girls who need a merchant's daughter to save us. And I don't think she'll always be here."
"Do you think Uncle Richard will stop her?" I asked.
Bess leaned against the table, more casual than she would have dared just a few weeks ago. "Faith, I don't know, Grace. I don't know what Mama is scheming with her, but I am certain it augers no good for any of us. Do you know who is Mistress Shore's patron now?"
I leaned down to pick up a scrap of discarded embroidery, no doubt left by Anne if a fit of frustration. "Your half-brother?"
Bess snorted. "He wishes. No, my brother cannot support her right now. Not while he's wanted by the council. Lord Hastings is now her patron."
I nearly dropped the piece of cloth. "William Hastings? Papa's greatest friend?"
I tried to form the picture of the man in my mind. One of the great lords around my father, distinguishable only on account of the fact he wasn't a Woodville relation nor one of Papa's blood. White-haired, bluff, and broad, a statesman who served my father with great loyalty.
"I've heard that Mistress Shore was acquainted with Lord Hastings first, although one cannot always trust gossip. Papa, my brother, and Lord Hastings." Bess ticked off fingers. "Sharing the bed of all three men in one year."
I pursed my lips. "No wonder she seemed to scorn righteousness."
Bess shrugged. "Papa and Lord Hastings shared mistresses. I've heard that all my life. And I suppose she hasn't any choice but to seek a new patron. Royal mistresses don't get dower property."
Not for the first time, the thought of my birth mother crept into my head. I didn't know her at all. I was given into Queen Elizabeth's care as a babe.
I feared my mother had been a woman of loose morals. When I allowed myself to think of her at all, I tried to persuade myself she was likely a young woman who couldn't say no to the King. But an awful image now slipped into my mind. The dark picture of a woman passed around by my father and Lord Hastings. It made me fear for her end. I had the childishly hopeful thought of her retiring to a convent and making her peace with Heaven.
"Grace?" Bess peered at me, noticing my disquiet. "Are you feeling poorly?"
I managed to smile. "No. I am just not interested in Mistress Shore's doings."
"Neither am I," Bess said. "But why is she meeting with Mama? What business could they have?"
I twisted my sleeve. "Perhaps she just brings news of Edward?"
Bess paced the small length of the room, pausing only to stop Anne from snatching a sweetmeat. "If that was true, why do it in secret?"
"Are you really worried there will be war?" I asked.
Bess glanced around at the children. Anne froze at the word while Katherine and Bridget continued playing one of their games. Dickon had lined up ceramic horses in a mock war setting, but didn't seem too keen on playing. Instead, his curious blue eyes were on the two of us.
"Help me find my silver necklace," Bess said in a loud tone, pulling me into the privy chamber that served as the only bedchamber for all of us.
Despite it being midday, Cecily was still abed. She claimed pains from her time of the month, and I understood. It wasn't an excuse her mother normally would have abided, but Elizabeth wasn't paying attention to us.
"Shall I help you find the necklace you're wearing?" I asked Bess.
"Hey-ho, someone can make merry jests," Bess teased. Then her face shadowed. "I am certain we are heading to war. And we're already losing. Did you hear what happened to my uncle, Edward Woodville?"
I nodded. "He has command of the fleet?"
"Not anymore," Bess said. "His men mutinied—if he had the legal right of things. Otherwise, they just abandoned him in favor of the legitimate authority of England. But now there is no fleet coming to liberate us from sanctuary."
"Uncle Edward isn't coming to save us?"
Now Cecily sat up. She blinked furiously, her words coming out in a croak.
"Not unless Neptune can summon a fleet for him," Bess said.
Cecily hugged her blankets, slumping over. "What will happen to us?"
"There can't be war if your uncle no longer has command of the fleet," I said. "Your mother shall have to come to terms with Uncle Richard."
"But she isn't doing that!" Bess flopped down on her bed. "She's refusing to negotiate with him at all. Instead, she's having secret meetings with Lord Hastings' mistress. It means something. I just cannot see the shape of it."
I rubbed my head. "Isn't Lord Hastings' Uncle Richard's ally? Your mother said he betrayed us all for Uncle Richard."
Bess smiled wryly. "Because Lord Hastings didn't want Mama to circumvent Papa's will. Papa left the protection of Edward, our family, and the realm to Richard—not Mama."
Cecily groaned. "Must you speak of these matters in here? All day long, all night long, we talk about these things. I am heartily sick of it."
"Aren't we all?" Bess tossed a pillow at her. "But we'll never get out of here if Mama starts a war with Richard."
"She's already started a war with Uncle Richard!" Cecily snapped. "And we're all on her side. I pray every day that she'll win this accursed war so that we can go home. It feels like we've been here for a year."
"It's been a few weeks," Bess said. "You don't know what it's like to be in sanctuary. I spent months in sanctuary when I was a child. My fifth birthday happened behind these very walls. I haven't any memories before that time."
The words chilled me, and I hugged myself. "I was here, wasn't I?"
Bess nodded. "You were only two. Your mother hadn't the means to care for you while Papa was in exile. Mama took you with us. Grand-mére Jacquetta had to take care of us, as Mama was close to giving birth to Edward."
My eyes stung at the mention of Edward. And the reminder of how close I came to a different life. Or no life at all.
It also summoned up memories of my unknown birth mother. If Jane Shore had to take up with William Hastings, it sickened me to think of what happened to my mother. The question burned inside and I almost asked Bess. But the words turned to ash before I could speak.
"Cecily's second birthday took place here," Bess said, unaware of my inner turmoil.
Cecily shuddered. "I'm glad I can't remember."
"But this could last a very long time," Bess said. "The only reason we left sanctuary was because Papa came back. Who is to come for us now? Uncle Edward hasn't the men to liberate us. He could hire a band of mercenaries, but Richard is one of the greatest soldiers. If Mama loses this war she has begun, we're all damned."
I sank down on a chair. "Surely your mother will have other allies?"
"That's what worries me," Bess said. "Richard values loyalty beyond all else, and he is a great believer in justice. He still holds my half-brother and uncle. If Mama makes the wrong move..."
She turned away, unable to finish the dark thought.
"What about us?" Cecily asked. "What will happen to us?"
Bess walked over to the window, looking at the daylight dancing away from us. "I don't know."
Fear gripped me. She always had answers for everything.