*before you all go on, no, the character in this book is not like seaver.*
At the solid age of three years old, my father told my mother and I to never associate with anyone who did criminal justice work. He warned us that they were horrible people, that sometimes the people they hunted were innocent.
But of course, by the time my dad left us when I was six, my mom was already dating a filthy rich detective. And by the time I was twenty five, I was a new member of the B.A.U. team in Quantico, Virginia. Just like my father told us not to do.
I guess we hadn't listened to him because we thought very differently than he did. The two of us were different from him in the fact that I liked to catch the killers, my mom liked marrying the detectives, and my dad... well, he liked being notorious for his sixty two murders.
I had honestly joined the team in spite of him, I was trying to right all the wrongs he had done. Sometimes it was great, but sometimes it was stressful, you know?
I mean, you probably wouldn't know. That's why you're reading this. Because you want to know the stressors of this job, because you're interested in more than just the crimes. You're interested in what the team does behind closed doors. I'll share that, too. Just because I'm feeling extra nice. I joined in 2005, roughly around the time Dr. Spencer Reid was recruited as a profiler, around the time Aaron Hotchner took the role as Unit Chief. I was moved from the team in 2007 to work at a different Bureau, but now I was back. It was three years later, I was twenty eight, and it seemed to be a great morning for my first day back. I entered the office with a few boxes,
"Oh my God, Ronnie!" I heard, making me turn my head. There hurried a happy Penelope, and my eyes widened. A huge grin appeared on my face and I put my bags down on my desk.
"PG!" The two of us engulfed each other with hugs, both laughing at how excited we were.
"I've missed you so much, you have no idea. Gideon left, David Rossi took his place" As we let go of one another, I looked at her in shock. I loved Gideon, he was like a father figure to Spencer and I. He was probably my favorite person to talk to,
"Jason left?" She nodded,
"That's not even the worst part. What's worse is that Hotch and Haley got divorced!"
Finally.
I pretended to look upset, pushing my circle glasses up a little on the bridge of my nose.
"Wow, really? He was so in love with her" She walked towards my desk and started helping me unpack everything.
"Morgan told me she got up and left with Jack one night. They've been divorced for almost a year now, separated for a year and a half" She was telling me all the details, until she got cut off by someone speaking.
"No way, giggles?" I turned my head a little, smiling when I saw the one and only Derek Morgan. He held his arms out to signal he wanted a hug, and honestly, I wanted one from him too.
"Hey hot chocolate" We wrapped our arms around one another, and he started to laugh.
"Oh you know I missed that" He revealed as he let go of me, and I nodded.
"You have no idea," was my initial response. "So, how is everyone? I mean, other than Gideon and Hotch. I really can't believe he left" I placed my bag in my spinny chair,
"Well did Garcia tell you she's got a new man?" I gasped and looked at her with wide eyes, not believing at Derek had just told me.
"Excuse me? When were you going to tell me that!" She blushed and looked up at the sky, a small grin following. She was about to answer me, but she was interrupted by the familiar voice that cracked whenever it got overly excited.
"Ronnie!" I peaked over Derek's shoulder, revealing Spencer Reid, standing there with the biggest, toothiest grin I had ever seen. I pushed past Derek quickly, jumping into Spencer's arms. He picked me up off the floor a little, and I almost kicked my own butt as I bent my knees. He hugged me tightly,
Him and I were always the closest on the team, we were basically siblings. We knew a little two much about one another, which didn't bother me. It did, however, bother Strauss.
"You look so different!" It was a compliment. He had changed a lot, sure he was still cute and nerdy, but his hair had gotten a little shorter, his face was more mature.
"Me? I almost didn't recognize you" He put me back on the ground and we let go of one another, turning to our other colleagues.
"He's right you know. This new dark hair, it looks crazy good on you" Garcia pointed out, and I pushed a strand of it behind my ear. This dark brown had been my natural hair color, I used to dye it so I could look like my stepfather. I gave up on it almost two years ago, everyone already knew who I was.
"You guys are so sweet, I-"
"Gordon!" Someone wrapped their arm around the back of my neck, basically putting me in a chokehold. They noogied the top of my head, laughing. I chuckled,
"Awe Em, how did you know I missed getting choked?" I joked, and that's when they all laughed with her. However, Emily's face quickly went dead serious, her letting go of me quickly. I narrowed my eyes at the suddenty of her actions, until I saw what she was looking at. Aaron, standing there with his arms crossed and his eyebrow raised. I stepped closer to him and my friends moved away a little. I stood straighter, and the two of us just stared at one another for a moment with serious faces. I accidentally began to let my smirk show, punching his arm lightly.
"Missed me?" He then let out his own little laugh, nodding.
"Yeah, yeah I definitely did" He admitted, and then someone appeared next to him. I had recognized him from the countless amount of books I had read by him.
"David Rossi, pleasure to meet you" He held his hand out for me to shake, and I took it.
"Veronica Gordon, the pleasure is all mine" I said, and then we let go of one another. I examined everyone in front of me, "Where's J?" I noticed I hadn't seen her yet. Reid looked excited about this one,
"She's in her office" And before I even realized it, I was standing right in front of her door. It was half open, so I entered a little and knocked on the doorframe. She didn't look up from her papers,
"Hey, what's up?" She questioned, still writing something. I didn't answer her as I fully entered her office, making her look up. She gasped, "Oh my God, Ron!" She shot up, and what I saw took me by such surprise. She was pregnant, noticeably at that. That's when my jaw dropped.
"You're pregnant!" I asked, and she laughed. She nodded as she hurried from behind her desk. We hugged one another,
"Seven months!" I squeezed her a little tighter,
"Awe, sweetie! I'm so happy for you, that's amazing" I showed my excitement with my giddiness, "Is it Will's?" We let go of one another,
"Yep"
"That's so awesome, I can't believe this" I was still trying to comprehend everything, but then we were interrupted by a knock on the door. We both turned to look at who it was, revealing Reid. He was smiling at us,
"Hey, Emily and I are leaving. We'll be back in a few days" He explained, and I looked at him funny.
"Where you guys going?" I questioned, and before Reid could answer, JJ did for him.
"They're going undercover at Septarian Sect. We got a call from someone there saying the leader was having an inappropriate relationship with the underage girls there" My eyed widened,
"Oh, let me go too. I specialize in cult cases" I reminded them, but Reid shook his head.
"We've already got a third person, one more and it would look suspicious. I'll try and contact you if we need anything" I nodded, holding out my fist for him to punch back. He got overly excited, doing it and quickly walking out. I chuckled, glancing back at JJ.
"Why does he always get so excited by that" My chuckles turned into laughs at her question, shrugging.
"I really couldn't tell you"
000
I sat in Hotch's office as he sat on the phone with someone, me just trying to finish filling out one of the many papers I needed to sign. It was the next day, and Hotch was trying to help me out with a few things before Reid and Prentiss came back. I was about to write something down, when someone screamed.
"Hotch!" I accidentally broke the tip of my pencil as I jumped, Hotch hung up the phone. We both looked at each other in shock and confusion, getting up and running out of his office. We examined the tv that Morgan and JJ were looking at, seeing a news reporter. "The tv, Prentiss and Reid"
"It is believed that three child service members are still trapped within the compound" Suddenly, every single phone started ringing. My heart sank to my toes as I realized that Pen and Emily were in serious danger,
"All right that means we're the lead with hostage rescue and support, let's go!" He ordered, and we all began grabbing everything. I however left everything except my phone and overnight bag on my desk, rushing out the door. Before I knew it, we were all getting out of an SUV to start setting ourselves up. Derek and I were doing us much as we can, getting the laptops and bags situated for Hotch and Rossi. We couldn't even finish, we were interrupted by yelling.
"You're obviously not in charge. I can see that!"I narrowed my eyes as Derek and I looked fo r the commotion.
"I'm sorry, sir. I'm under direct orders from the F.B.I" We saw an older man in a suit and a younger one in a navy green jumpsuit.
"Yeah, and I'm the attorney general of this state! I demand to know why I wasn't told that the FBI was sending undercover agents into the Septarian Ranch!" The man in the suit was furious, and I scoffed at his childish reaction to what was going on.
"The only thing that you're in the position to demand is lawyer" Aaron quickly stepped in, making Derek and I walk towards them. We stopped next to Rossi, was was watching from behind.
The man in the suit looked at Hotch as if he was irrelevant.
"Who the hell are you?" He spat, and Aaron stood straighter.
"I'm Aaron Hotchner, Unit Chief. I'm the guy who's going to tell the attorney general of the United States whether to charge you with obstructing a federal investigation or negligent homicide." My eyes went wide, and I felt a strange feeling rush through my body. I blinked in shock, raising both of my eyebrows.
"You can't talk to me like that" The attorney general said. I let out a light breath,
He can talk to me like that, I thought.
Aaron moved closer to the man and got in his face,
"Get off my crime scene" Hotchner yelled, and that's what really got me. I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, clearing my throat quietly as I stared at him.
If he ever yelled at me like that I would thank him and ask for it in bed.
I narrowed my eyes at my own thoughts, shaking my head. I quickly snapped out of my unholy thoughts, grabbing Hotch's arm to catch his attention. The man stormed off like an angry toddler, and Aaron turned to look at me.
"We've got to give the profile" I tried to act normal, pretending I didn't just almost think about something completely non work related.
He agreed with me, pretending like that didn't just happen. A few minutes later, we were in a small trailer, giving out the profile to the other cops.
"We call this the Minimal Loss Scenario" Rossi began, "Every person we get out is a life saved. We will not save them all. All of us have to be prepared to accept that situation" He explained, and I felt like I was going to throw up.
"Cults are structured like pyramids. We have the leader at the top. Diehard believers beneath, the biggest group--the base--followers, usually women and children. These are the people we can save" I stood,
"Many cults have rejected religion, and with those types, it is much easier during a raid to get members to cooperate. This one however is different, they only believe in God, and aren't afraid to die because they believe they'll go to heaven" I began, "We can save the woman and children, but it's much harder. They really believe they'd be better off dead than somewhere other than this ranch. We have strategies for this however" Hotch nodded,
"The trickle, flow, and gush strategy is designed to get base followers out, just like Agent Gordon was saying" He put one hand on his hip, "First one or two, then three or four, then as many as we can. If at any point it starts to get bad, we go in"
"Leaders of cults are charismatic sociopaths who target those most susceptible to their seduction. They have the ability to see what each person needs, and then they become that thing" Rossi crossed his arms, and I looked at the men. "Agent Gordon will explain more about this man, she specializes in cult cases" Rossi handed it over to me, but before I could even talk, someone spoke.
"Isn't Agent Gordon retired? And a male? And not as hot as the person standing in front of us?" I glared at the man as a few people snickered. He really had to bring up my stepfather,
"And aren't you a middle aged man that's been divorced twice who's being watched by your boss because you've already got two strikes?" I spat, raising an eyebrow. Every person in the room became silent, and Hotch put his hand on my shoulder.
"Excuse me" Hotch got defensive, looking at the man with a stern face. "You have no right to talk to an agent of higher standing than you like that" He then glanced down at me, "Can I talk to you?" He muttered, and I followed him out of the trailer. "You know you can't do that, Strauss is on you, remember?" I looked down,
"I know, I'm sorry"
"What they did was inappropriate. But you've got to ignore it right now and explain to them how to do this, alright?" I nodded, "Go explain to those morons what they've got to do" He smiled faintly, and I chuckled.
Hotch and I were pretty close, I helped him smile more. He didn't really know how, but my jokes got him a little giddy. I took pride in knowing that.
I went back inside and did my best to help them understand what was supposed to happen next.
000
It had been a long night of trying to get answers, but we found out Emily and Reid were okay. I didn't sleep that night, I was wide awake.
Everyone was up at seven, but I was already waiting for them in the other trailer, examining everything we had to do. They sent Rossi in with food, which left Morgan, Hotch and I to sit and wait. After about ten minutes, Rossi barged into the trailer. We all looked at him, and I stood.
"Reid and Prentiss are still okay" He told us, and the feeling of relief filled me from head to toe. I sat back down and smiled faintly,
"What about Cyrus?" Morgan questioned,
"He's too calm, it's... it's like he was waiting for this to happen, and now that it had he fee;s vindicated" he told us. He was uneasy about it, which was never good. That meant something was destined to go wrong.
"I got a signal. I'm getting a signal here" The guy at the computer spoke, and we all grabbed a pair of headphones. We put them on, and Ben started talking,
"We will be with him soon" He ensured, making us all exchange looks. "We have all drank poison together" I narrowed my eyes and tilted my head as he paused. He didn't speak for a moment. "Mothers, children, though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death we fear no evil. For thou are with us" This wasn't right, something wasn't right.
"This doesn't fit," Rossi yelled, making me jump, "I looked him in the eyes. He was calm, lucid"
"They're committing mass suicide" Hotch pointed out,
"We don't know that for sure" Rossi shot back, and I nodded.
"No, Rossi is right. When mass suicide happens, they're always told before they drink it. This has to be a test, some initiation"
"Guys, he just said it" I stood back up as Morgan yelled at us,
"I know, that's my point" I yelled back, "If we send people in there and nothing's going on, they'll know we're listening. They'll kill Reid and Prentiss. They'll know they're agents" I added,
"Gordon's right, if we go in there, people are gonna die" Rossi defended me,
"People are already dying," Hotch said with wide, angry eyes. I shook my head and rubbed my forehead,
"Please don't send them in" I begged, "So many people did this. Marshall Herff Applegate did it, so did Luc Jouret. Before they committed mass suicide they tested their followers" I began,
"Just like Veronica said, Jim Jones pulled the same stunt! They did a test run just like this years before they did the real thing!" He basically repeated what I said with another name.
"Prepare your men to go in" Hotch ignored us, and I put my hands on the top of my head. I was breathing heavy, turning to look out a window.
"Be still" Cyrus started, "There was no poison" My head shot in the direction of the machine,
"Dan" Hotch spoke, "Wait"
"It was a test of faith!" I narrowed my eyes at Hotch and Morgan, shaking my head.
"We told you" I spoke, and I stormed out. JJ walked past me,
"The former sect leader is here" I looked at her,
"Yeah, tell the team I need to blow off steam" I told her, and I kept on walking. I reached a corn field, crossing my arms as I examined the view. I scoffed, thinking about what just happened. I was so angry, I wanted to break something.
"Gordon" I heard, making me turn. There stood Hotch and Derek, "You can't storm out like that" I raised both my brows, uncrossing my arms.
"Or what? You'll report me to Strauss?" Hotch sighed and examined me carefully, "You never listen when I say something, you never did. When I was the only girl in the BAU you did the same exact thing. Do you do that to J? To Emily?"
"Ronnie-"
"No, Derek. He always second guesses me, even though he know's I know my stuff. I could outsmart you any day, especially when it comes to cults and you know that. Why do you pretend like my opinion isn't sometimes right?" I was so mad that I cut Morgan off, and I kind of felt bad. "Emily was right, you don't trust woman as much as men. I'm sick of it"
"You can't speak to me that way" He warned. I took a step closer to him,
"Or what?" I was testing him, and he didn't like that. We were close, and even though I was angry, I suddenly felt a sense of excitement fill every inch of my body. What came next shocked me. He just walked away. He didn't do anything, he left. I was so confused that Derek could see it in my face.
"Did he just... walk away?" He was just as lost as I was. The two of us exchanged looks. I shook my head, and my mouth was open to speak. However, nothing came out.
I guess he did.