Wednesday July 29th.
Seb rubbed his eyes as he woke up to the sound of a crying baby yet again, lifting his head from the pillow he spotted his wife as she walked around the room, patting Luis softly on his back and sushing him at the same time, trying to soothe him and stop his tiny tears. At six days old, it already felt like he'd been here forever and with both sets of proud grandparents here, they'd all settled into some sort of a routine that included lots of cuddles, lots of feeds, lots of nappy changing and not a lot of sleep. He checked the time on his phone, it was just gone six am, who needs an alarm clock when you have a new baby in the house? Switzerland was encountering something of heatwave right now and the uncomfortably sticky night last night had meant that Luis had had one of his worst nights so far in terms keeping them both awake with his crying and poor Chloe had been beside herself worrying about whether he was too hot or if he'd actually got a temperature and was feeling poorly. Nothing seemed to have worked in terms of soothing him, even cuddles from daddy had failed. Feeling more tired now than when he'd actually gone to bed in the first place, Seb threw the duvet back and got out of bed to go to his overwrought looking wife. If it wasn't for their parents being here then he would have been seriously worried about leaving her to cope on her own when he left to catch his flight to England later today.
"Pass him here, let me take him downstairs so that you can catch up on some sleep." He said quietly, giving her a comforting rub on her shoulder.
"Are you sure? You look just as knackered as I feel." She replied, feeling worried about Seb and how this could affect him for this weekend.
"I can sleep on the plane and catch up when I get to the motorhome at the circuit too, right now you need the sleep more than I do." He kissed her forehead. "Promise me you'll let everyone help you while I'm away."
"I promise." She carefully passed Luis over to Seb. "He might be due a feed in about an hour, if he starts to home in on your nipples then you'll have to bring him back up here." She added, somehow managing to joke despite how she felt.
"I will. Maybe you should think about expressing some milk or swapping a few of his feeds for formula then other people can take on some of the feeding and you can rest more." He said thoughtfully as headed towards the door.
"Ok, I'll think about it." She climbed back into bed, already the guilt was starting to seep in because she wasn't doing everything for Luis and Seb was taking him downstairs to give her break because he obviously thought she couldn't cope. It seemed that everything she tried to do, he could already do a million times better. Even the way he held Luis, cradling him in just one arm, looked effortless and confident. It was easy to see who'd had more practice when it came to newborn babies.
"Stop worrying and get some sleep." He said pointedly, able to see that her mind was racing. "I love you."
"I love you too." She sighed as she forced herself to lay down.
Happy that was she resting and would probably get a little more sleep, Seb stepped out and closed the door behind him. He made his way downstairs and once he got into the lounge, he was surprised to see that the curtains were already open, he wondered who else Luis had kept awake last night, the whole house maybe? By the time he got into the kitchen Luis had stopped crying and he grabbed a glass from the cupboard to run himself a glass of water to take back through into the lounge.
"Morning, thought you'd be dressed by now." Heikki remarked as he emerged from the gym carrying resistance bands and hand weights.
"What are you doing here?" Seb asked as he turned on the cold tap and then picked up the glass to hold underneath it.
"We said training at six-thirty, remember?"
"No, we said I'd up at six-thirty." He disagreed, putting the glass down and then turning the tap off.
"No, we definitely said about training early today so that you could have the rest of the morning and some of the afternoon with Luis before we have to leave. I suggested that I get here at six to get set up in the garden, ready for a half six start."
"Shit." He muttered and rubbed his forehead as he remembered, Heikki was right.
"Rough night was it?" Heikki said with an amused smirk as he noticed how tired Seb looked. He was sporting what Heikki could only describe as the 'new dad' look, one that he recognised having a little girl himself. Because of the upcoming race weekend it was slightly worrying and he hoped it wouldn't affect his performance in the car.
"You could say that." He replied, thinking back to the numerous times he'd been kept awake. Looking down at Luis to see those beautiful blue eyes looking back at him, he melted instantly, suddenly he didn't care about losing sleep when his son looked back at him like that. "Look, I can't train right now, I told Chloe I'd have him for an hour while she got some sleep."
Seeing the way that Seb was gazing down at the newborn, he gave in and decided that they could delay training until Chloe was up. "Want me to sort you some breakfast?" He offered. The look of gratitude he got back was his answer. "Take Luis back into the lounge and I'll bring it through."
"Thank you." Seb smiled, relieved to have someone making his breakfast because it meant that he didn't have to put Luis down in his Moses basket (a gift from his parents). He walked back through to the lounge and sat down on the sofa. Drawing his knees up so that his feet were on the sofa, he rested Luis on his lap to spend a few minutes just gazing at him and listening to the little sounds he made. "Look at you." He gushed, cradling him with a hand either of side him so that he wasn't in any danger of falling. "You're so perfect, every little part of you. You're my own mini me. I wish I didn't have to leave you today, I hate the thought of being away from you for so long and you've not even been with us for a week yet. I'm going to miss you so much little one but I want you to make daddy a promise, ok? I want you to look after mummy, don't give her a hard time with the crying at night, let her sleep but most of all, make sure she's happy and doesn't miss me too much." Not far from him he heard a quiet sniff and he turned his head to look, thinking it'd probably be his tired, emotional wife. Instead he found it was Chrissie standing to the left of him, with tears in her eyes.
"Oh Seb, to see you with Luis is just too...." She stopped as she got choked up. "....and to hear you talking to him, telling him to look after Chloe." She wiped a tear away from her cheek. "Sorry, these are happy tears, I promise. Now you can see where Chloe gets her emotional side from."
"It's ok. Please, come and sit." He patted the space on the sofa next to him.
Not needing any excuse to spend time with her new grandson, she took a seat beside Seb to find Luis seemingly fixated with his father. She didn't need to hear what he'd said to his son to know that Seb was going to find leaving this afternoon very hard.
"I'm sorry if he's kept you awake last night." Seb said without breaking his gaze on Luis.
"Oh don't worry about that, that's what babies do at his age. He'll get better at night soon, I'm sure and this heat can't be helping to settle him either."
"I don't think the heat helped any of us last night, especially Chloe. She was so worried about whether he was too hot or was sick and she constantly worries about his temperature and how he sounds when he cries. Neither of us could stop him from crying, in the end I think he just exhausted himself and fell asleep that way."
"You're worried about her, aren't you?" Asked Chrissie, picking up on Seb's tone.
"A little." He admitted, glancing at her. "I'd be even more worried if she didn't have you, David and my parents here to keep an eye on her."
"Don't you worry, I'll be keeping a very close eye on her." She replied reassuringly.
"You're worried about her too?" He asked, taking Chrissie's words a little too literally.
"I'm not worried but she's hormonal, she's a new mum adjusting to a massive change in her life and from now on everyday is a learning curve. You know what it's like having already got your two girls. She'll just need keeping an eye on and plenty of support, especially with you being away. She misses you as it is without adding a newborn baby to the equation."
"Thanks." Seb muttered ironically, feeling even more guilty than he already had been. "It's not like I want to leave."
"Oh Seb, I didn't mean it like that.
I wasn't saying it to have a go or anything."
"I know, I know." He sighed. "But I mean it, I don't want to have leave them. I'm hoping I can have them come with me to Spain but the way things are going there, it's looking unlikely. I'm not prepared to take them if it's not safe enough for them travel."
"Couldn't they stay at the hotel?" Chrissie asked, knowing that her daughter was already thinking about going with him to the Spanish Grand Prix.
He gave a little laugh and looked at her. "They'd have to stay at the hotel, there's no question but this is your daughter we're talking about here, you think she'll be happy to spend an entire race weekend in a hotel?"
"Ah, you've got a point there." She nodded in agreement.
"Depending on the number of cases in Barcelona, we might even end up using motorhomes instead of a hotel and I really can't see her being cooped up for four days in one of those."
"Well if they can't go with you, I'm glad you've got to tell her rather than me." She looked up as Heikki approached with a bowl full of granola and yogurt, topped with sliced banana.
"Here you go buddy." He held the dish out towards Seb who looked from Luis to the dish and back again.
"Let me take him so that you can eat." Chrissie offered, seizing an opportunity to have a cuddle with Luis.
"Thanks." He smiled and let her take his son from his lap, he was suddenly able to smell something unpleasant emanating from Luis' nappy. "That's good timing, I think he needs changing." He grinned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a rare period of quiet as lunchtime approached and Seb found himself with time to spend with his wife. Feeling tired, she'd gone back to bed and taken Luis up with her and that's where he found her when he entered their bedroom and closed the door behind him as quietly as he could. Taking off his t-shirt as he walked towards the bed, he stopped to admire his sleeping son in the crib that was currently joined on to the side of their bed. Then he crept his way round to slip into the bed next to Chloe. Rolling onto his side, he shuffled across to spoon himself behind her. He felt her jolt awake and then relax as he draped an arm over her and lifted his head to kiss her bare shoulder. "How are you feeling?" He whispered, brushing his nose over her skin.
She smiled to herself as she enjoyed his embrace and then turned her body until she was facing him. "Better than I was this morning, that's for sure. It's amazing what a bit more sleep can achieve."
"You're doing so well with him, you're doing such an amazing job."
"I didn't feel like I was last night when he was screaming the place down." She sighed.
"It was just a bad night, that's all. There'll be better ones."
"I'm not looking forward to the next twelve nights without you." She replied, keeping her voice to a whisper.
"Me neither." He said, moving to lay on his back.
"They won't let you come home then?" She asked, referring to the FIA and Ferrari as she inched closer to him to lay in his arms with her head on his chest.
"Not this time." He replied, feeling a sharp pang of sadness and guilt at having to be away for so long. "I'll only have Monday and Tuesday to recover from the weekend because we've got a filming day on Wednesday and then it's straight into another media day on Thursday so I won't have much spare time." It was already painful to think about how much he was going miss her and Luis, at least if he was busy the time would go quickly.
She lifted her head enough to press her lips against his chest and kiss him, inhaling through her nose at the same time to take in his scent and commit it to her memory. She didn't want to tell him just how badly she was going to miss him yet because if she did then it'd feel like they were saying goodbye already and she didn't want to do that yet. She lifted her head further to meet his gaze and let herself get lost in his beautiful blue eyes, exchanging a wordless 'I love you' as they often did. Then she shuffled upwards until she could claim his lips in a sweet kiss that she didn't want to end. Judging by Seb's wandering hands and his tongue seeking her own to deepen their kiss, it was clear that he didn't want it to end either.
Intimacy had been the last thing on their minds for the past week as they'd settled into their new lives with a baby but now, as he swept his hand along the curves of her body, it was back at the forefront of his mind and his body reacted to her closeness and her kiss like it always did. Feeling that pleasant ache inside as he started to want more, he reluctantly parted their lips. As much as he wanted her, there was no way that she was ready yet, her body was still healing and recovering. "We should stop." He whispered, bringing his hand back up her body until he reached her face where he stopped to caress her cheek.
She knew straight away what he meant by that, the way he'd started to occasionally shift his hips while they were kissing had told her that he was getting aroused. "Of course, I'm sorry, you know I'm not quite ready for that yet."
"It's fine, don't apologise. I know you need time to heal."
"The midwife thought at least two weeks, maybe three." She added, thinking back to Monday's visit.
"Then that could possibly give us both something to look forward to when I get back." He smiled.
"We need to talk about contraception at some point." She settled back down to lay her head back on his chest.
"Do we?" He asked, trying to sound innocent. He was quite happy for them to carry on without it.
"Yes. I'm not having another baby just yet. I know your game Vettel." She giggled quietly, knowing that her broody German already wouldn't mind if she got pregnant again quickly. "And the midwife said we should discuss our options."
Seeing as another baby was definitely off of her agenda for a while, he decided to volunteer himself to be the one who took care of their contraception. "I'll do it." He whispered, starting to stroke her shoulder.
"Do what?" She asked.
"Sort the contraception."
"What? You thinking of having the snip or something?"
"Oh fuck no!" He exclaimed forgetting to whisper. The thought of having that done made him want to cross his legs. "No, I mean condoms, I'll use condoms if you want me to."
"Really?" She lifted her head again to study his expression. "You've never used them before, not with me anyway."
"That's because you thought you had it covered when we first got together. Remember?"
"Oh....yeah." She grinned and laid her head back down.
"I would have used them then if you'd wanted." He carried on, smiling as he remembered their first time. "And then we found out a bit later that you'd made a monumental fuck up with your dates."
"Don't remind me." She turned her head to press her face to his chest in embarrassment.
"So, if I take care of it, we can always try for another baby whenever we're both ready."
"You'd do that for me?" She asked lifting her head yet again.
"I'd do anything for you and something like that....it's nothing for me to take my turn in that role. We just to need make sure we buy big enough boxes, I don't want to run out." He grinned.
"The way you are, we'd need catering sized boxes." She joked.
"Do they make them in boxes that size?" He asked, trying to make out that he was serious. "Seriously though, think about it, think about what you want, I'm more than happy to do my bit."
"It's you doing your bit that got us Luis in the first place!"
"And you loved it just as much as I did." He smirked.
She looked at his gorgeous face as he smiled at her, she was going to miss him so much while he was away that it was already painful. "God I love you." She whispered, moving to kiss him once more.
"I love you too." He whispered back, just before her lips brushed tantalisingly over his own. Right on cue, Luis started to make little noises that told them both he was awake and about to cry.
"Maybe he'll be the only contraception we'll need for a while." She giggled as she sat up to check up on their son.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The day had gone far too quickly for Seb's liking, now he was stood looking glumly at his packed black suitcase and rucksack and was due to leave once he'd said goodbye to his wife and son. Outside he could hear a car coming to a stop on the gravel, Heikki was back and was going to drive them both to Zürich to get their flight. Going back into the lounge, Chloe had at least managed to have a quick shower and get dressed but her hair was still in last night's low pony tail with half of it having escaped and now framing her face. As he looked at her sat on the floor by Luis, who was in his bouncer seat, he wished more than ever that he didn't have to leave them.
"Heikki's here." He said quietly, watching how Luis was starting to doze thanks to the vibration setting of his bouncer seat and the tune it was playing. She looked at him as he knelt down beside her, she didn't have to tell him that she didn't want him to go, it was plain to see from the despondent expression on her face. For both of them the last week and a half had been unforgettable and it had been heaven spending the last few days in their own little family bubble. If ever there was a time when he'd been closer to making a decision about his future, it was now.
"If you want a cuddle before you go, you can pick him up." She offered, seeing how torn he was over having to leave.
"I'll settle for giving him a kiss, I don't want to wake him now you've got him settled." He replied, keeping his voice low. In truth he knew that if he picked Luis up then it would make leaving ten times harder than it already felt. "But I would like a hug with his mummy before I go."
"You ready Seb?" Heikki asked as he entered the lounge, having let himself in.
"I'll be out in a couple of minutes." He replied, really not wanting to leave them.
"I'll load your case into the car." Heikki said, deciding to leave them alone.
Seb took a moment to gaze at Luis, etching every one of his little features into his mind. "I'm going to miss you little one, be good for mummy and remember what I told you this morning."
"What was that then?" Chloe asked, suddenly curious.
"That's between me and him." He replied softly, without breaking his gaze on Luis. He leant down and feathered gentle kisses on his son's forehead and chubby little cheeks while inside his heart ached at having to leave him behind. Sighing heavily, he got to his feet and then helped his wife up to hers too. He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, feeling her arms slip around him to hold him just as tight. With her post-baby bump already starting to ease down, he was able to hold her a bit closer than he could a week ago and it already felt better to feel more of her against him.
"I'm going to miss you so much." She murmured, her voice taut as she fought not to get upset.
"I'll miss you too." He said as he gently grasped her face to look into her eyes. "The time will soon pass, I'll soon be back."
"Not quick enough though." She replied, just before he kissed her and let go of her cheeks to wrap his arms back around her as their kiss quickly became a lot more full on. She was glad that he'd already said his goodbyes to both sets of their parents as it meant that they could now have this moment with no interruptions.
For a second he broke their kiss and simply gazed at her but then he kissed her again and again, as if he had to get the next eleven days worth of kisses from her all in one go. He let his hands rove over her body, taking in every curve and squeezing her behind to remind himself that hopefully he'd be able to indulge himself fully in her when he returned.
"Seb." Heikki appeared behind them, hating that he had break up their passionate moment. "Seb, we're going to have to leave if we're to make check in on time."
He parted his lips from hers and replied to the Finn without looking away from his wife. "I'm now coming." He took a deep breath and forced himself to release her from his embrace. This was too painful, he had to leave now so that they both start to get used to another stint apart; one that, this time, he wouldn't be able to make shorter by coming home early.
However, Chloe suddenly found herself not at all ready to let him go and she grabbed handfuls of white t-shirt. "No, you can't." She whimpered, looking at him desperately.
He placed his hands over hers to remove them from his body. "I have to, you know that." He didn't want her to be like this, it was hard enough now as it was and he wondered if she knew of the effect her words had already on him. It seemed that she didn't....
"Don't go Seb! Please don't go!"