Request by: Lolidc1246
Title: Is this how you wanted to punish me?
Type: Angst
Oikawa POV:
A heavy sigh escaped from my lips... I held the door handle with a shaky hand, I wasn't strong enough to open it... I wasn't brave enough to face what's on the other side. My eyes fell to the ground, and they laid on the welcome mat. I remembered the day we moved into this apartment, and the day we got the mat...
I grabbed (Y/N) and picked him up bridal style. He blushed as he nuzzled his head against my chest, wrapping his arms around my neck.
"As a good future husband I am, I will carry you inside!"
Both of us chuckled as I carried him into our new apartment. The walls were gray, no light was entertaining through the windows, and our boxes filled out space on the floor. I gently placed him down on the ground, immediately he opened the windows and raised the blinds, the warm sunlight came pouring in, and it instantly lit up the room. He continued around the apartment, going into each room and looking at the walls.
"Okay so, we will paint the kitchen white, the living room should be some warmer color like peach or a shade of red. The hallways should be something neutral but not gray and our room should be (F/C). Do you agree?"
He tilted his head as he looked at me. I chuckled, and brought him in for a kiss, laying my forehead on his.
"If you like it, I like it too. Those colors sound great."
He gave me one of his warm smiles, his beautiful (e/c) eyes closed, and it made him so adorably cute.
Few days passed since we moved in. When I came back from shopping I saw my boyfriend standing outside our apartment. He was observing the door and I approached him from behind as quiet as possible. He jumped up slightly when I embraced him and quickly laid a kiss on the back of his neck.
"You scared me, idiot."
I chuckled, looking at his flustered gorgeous face. He hit my shoulder and I acted like I was hurt.
"Oh, what a grand betrayal, the love of my life hit me..."
He chuckled as I 'fainted' dramatically, shortly after I joined him, enjoying the sweet sound of his laugh.
"What were you looking at anyway, is something wrong with the door?"
I looked at the frame, going over to it, and tapping it a few times.
"No, everything's fine. I just thought a welcome mat would be a nice touch. Maybe a pot of flowers here."
He pointed next to the door and I placed a hand on my chin.
"Yeah you're right, it's plain and boring this way. We're getting it all tomorrow, okay?"
He came over to me, giving me a loving kiss. I couldn't help but smile and wrap my hands around his waist.
I let go of the doorknob, my fingers gently went over the pot of flowers next to the door.
"(f/flower), you loved it... We loved it...."
Another sigh escaped from my lips as I finally pushed the door open. The nostalgic smell of our shared home hit my nose, I gulped as I felt my eyes tear up. I closed them for a moment before I blinked rapidly, removing the tears from my slightly red eyes. The first thing I saw when I entered and took of my boots was, of course, the goofy selfie of the two of us. I gently grabbed the framed picture, holding it like it was made of pure gold, but also like it could break at every moment. My thumb gently brushed over the gorgeous joyful face of my boyfriend. His eyes sparkled and I remember the day we took this photo.
When we heard about the carnival, there was only one thought on our minds, we must go! And that's what happened. The day came and both of us got ready. I woke up super early because I was eager to get to the festival as soon as possible. (Y/N) was still sleeping next to me and I couldn't help but stare at his beautiful sleeping form. Soon, tho, his eyes slowly fluttered open and he jumped back slightly from the initial surprise, but soon his eyebrows knitted together and he gave me a questioning look.
"You weren't staring at me while I slept by any chance?"
I gulped as my nervous gaze looked around the room.
"Oikawa!"
I opened my mouth to apologize, but he burst into giggles.
"I'm just joking, come here."
He wrapped himself around me and I sighed in relief. I buried my nose into his soft and fluffy (h/c) hair. The sweet familiar scent filled my nose and I just brought him closer, with a wide smile on my face. We stayed in bed for longer than we expected, sharing the sheets with someone special makes a big difference. We went through our morning routines swiftly but still managed to exchange cute little kisses throughout. Soon we found ourselves in the car, happily riding towards the carnival and singing along to our favorite songs. When the carnival appeared in our vision I looked over to my boyfriend, who was on the passenger seat, his joyful smile was pure and innocent, his happiness was shining brighter than any star. The first thing he did when we came out of the car was taking out his phone and throwing one of his arms around my neck. He made a goofy smile and so did I, laying my head on his, with tall carnival tents behind us.
I placed the photo back in its original place and took a step back. It was too much. I looked around the darkroom, the blinds were shut and the walls, even tho painted, appeared gray, almost colorless, to my eye. I walked through the hallway, with each step I took my chest tightened more. The first room on my right was the living room. I didn't enter tho. I couldn't. My glossy eyes started at the empty couch, the place that was always our comfort zone, so many days and nights were spent there. Even tho I didn't want to, my body moved on its own. I came into the dim-lit room and gently brushed the blanket with my fingers. I fell to my knees as I grabbed the piece of fabric and buried my head into it. I couldn't hold it in anymore, the familiar and nostalgic scent that always filled my nose and brought me happiness now brought me nothing but tears and memories I couldn't relive again. I gripped the blanket as I started swaying back and forth.
"I can't do this (Y/N)... You know I can't..."
I took a moment and tried my best to calm myself down. It was hard but I managed to stop crying. I folded the blanket and placed it where I found it. I couldn't wait anymore, I couldn't hide from it anymore. I marched into the bedroom, immediately remembering my last, not so cheerful, time there.
I was lying in the bed, and suddenly (Y/N) burst through the door. That wouldn't have been a problem... If I was alone... The girl in my arms jumped up, startled by the sudden noise. The joyful look on (Y/N)'s face quickly disappeared. I couldn't place only one emotion on his face. There was disappointment, pain, betrayal, and sadness all written on his sweet adorable face. Seemingly his shiny (E/C) eyes were drained of all color. His gaze was lost, he was looking through me rather than at me. As his lower lip trembled the bouquet of my favorite flowers fell from his hand. As soon as I opened my mouth to speak, to try to reason, apologize, anything really, his face formed one distinct emotion that scared me. His brows knitted together, and his eyes burned with nothing else but rage.
"Oh don't waste no more precious words on me 'honey', I really don't want to hear your stupid explanation."
My lips closed, he moved away from the door and the girl ran out without looking back. He stood still for a moment, I just laid where I was observing him cautiously. He finally moved, reaching the windows he stopped, his hand moved the curtain away and he gazed out to the city. After a while he softly spoke, his voice trembling and almost broken.
"You know... All this time we were together I always watched you and your fangirls. They always chased you around everywhere, every day one confessed. I always feared that one would take you away from me, make you happier than I did."
He stopped, a heavy sigh escalated from his lips.
"And now... When I thought I knew you... When I trusted you completely... When I truly loved you... You decided it was a good time to cheat?"
He asked, irony obvious in his broken voice. I opened my mouth, even tho I didn't have a clue on what to say. He had his back turned to me, but it was like he saw me open my mouth.
"Please don't, I don't want to hear it now..."
"But, (Y/N) you know-"
He finally turned around, along his soft cheeks I used to caress were crystal drops of tears, his loving eyes were red and puffy, deprived of any light color or joy, as he spoke his lower lip kept trembling.
"I know what? That you love me to the moon and back? That you'd spend eternity with me, that I'm your one and only? Oh please, spare me. Don't turn all of my happy memories with you into lies and betrayal, I want to have something besides sorrow to remember this relationship by."
"Don't say that... (Y/N) I still love you, I never meant to-"
"Never meant to hurt me? Well, fuck that am I right. Wanted it or not, I'm heart broken Oikawa, you broke it. Go to hell with all of your slutty fangirls, I hope you'll have loads of fun while you bang all of them. They won't be mad to find you with another right? A threesome would be just what you want, right?"
He was trying to hold in his tears so bad, the picture of his hurt face will always stay in my memory. I broke the heart of the person I loved the most... His words felt like daggers through my own heart, slicing and tearing it apart. I never imagined someone so soft and lovable say these words to me. But in the end, I did deserve it. I deserved much more. I stood up, with intention of approaching him, but before I could he gave me a cold stare that shook me to the core. With a loud snicker, he turned around and swiftly exited the room, but not before he took a moment to trample over the bouquet of flowers he brought.
"Oh well, now you'll have to buy another one for your bitches. Good luck with your future life Oikawa, you can keep this apartment, I have no interest in your whorehouse."
With every word, he stuck more daggers into my heart and pushed them even deeper. I knew I deserved it, but I silently prayed that he didn't really mean all of the things he said. He slammed the door shut before me, but I still followed him out.
"Don't fucking follow me. Nothing you say will fix this."
He shouted, tears still running down his cheeks. We got a few looks from the people passing our building, but we didn't care. I finally managed to lay my hand on him. But before I could say anything he brushed it off.
"Oh fuck off. Don't fucking touch me."
The broken voice of my lover brought me to tears. Like a hurt animal, he was hissing at anyone who dared to approach him. I took a step forward, but he backed away, his eyes still focused on me, silent anger burning in them. After another step, it all went down. Everything flew by so fast, just as the unpleasant sound of honking and screeching tires got to my ear, I was already looking at scared and distress (E/C) eyes. Time seemed to slow down as I watched everything. A gulp formed in my throat and the muffled sounds of people all around me blocked my brain from processing what was before me. I wanted to rush in, but my legs moved so slowly. With each step, more and more tears welled up in my eyes. The crowd moved so I could pass, someone told me the ambulance was on the way, but I remained silent, my eyes focused on the body that lied on the street. MY whole body dropped down, I wanted to cry, but tears were already streaming down my cheeks, I wanted to scream, but nothing came out. I just silently wrapped my arms around my lover, cradling him, wishing his peaceful face was only sleeping. My head fell on his chest, and my sobs only intensified, as tears filled my vision my nose desperately tried to get as much of his scent as possible. His sweeping scent was now mixed with the awful stench of iron and blood. I felt hands on my shoulder but I didn't move, I couldn't leave him. The crowd soon pulled me away, and medics rushed him into the ambulance. One of them guided me inside, wrapping me in a blanket.
"No...No God no..."
That was the only thing I could muster out through immense sobs and sniffs. My whole body was awfully trembling, but I pushed away anyone who tried to help me. I just reached out for the limb arm of my lover. I held it all the way to the hospital, feeling how warmth gradually left the soft skin that always brought me warmth and comfort. They carried him into the hospital and I followed closely behind, up until one door, there one of the nurses held me back.
"No, I want to go in there. I can't leave him. I... I..."
She gave me a hug and I wrapped my arms around her, crying on her shoulder.
"It's all my fault..."
Only a silent whisper escaped my lips, and I found myself kneeling on the bedroom floor, crying my eyes out over the squashed flowers. My hand gently picked up one of the flowers, almost untouched (f/flower). It was withered but still recognizable. A small laugh escaped from my trembling lips.
"Your favorite..."
"My favorite..."
My whole body froze as my ears picked up the familiar gorgeous sound of his voice. I slowly turned around, like I was afraid, and there he was, smiling and radiating a warm aura. My mind was again a broken record as I tried to process what I was seeing. In between my weeps, I could only gaze at his beautiful form. He rushed to me, wrapping me in a warm, loving embrace. My sobs intensified, the same as tears in my eyes.
"B... But they told me... They told me that you.."
He only nodded, stroking my hair gently.
"I know..."
"I saw you get... How did you... How are you even-"
"Shhh... It's alright..."
"But... But..."
He started humming a soft tune, and I relaxed in his arms burring my head into his shoulder. The familiar pleasant smell filled my nose, this time without the stench of blood, found my nose and I smiled through my sobs. He rocked me from side to side, and I again felt safe and relaxed in this warm embrace. My hands grabbed the fabric of his clothes, clinging on desperately.
"Please... don't leave me... I can't be without you... You know I can't..."
He stroked the soft strands of my brown hair again before he leaned in to whisper in my ear.
"I know, and I'm not going anywhere..."