Songs:
Poison & Wine- The Civil Wars
Almost Lover- A Fine Frenzy
Devil's Backbone- The Civil Wars
Neely's POV:
Two fucking weeks. Two entire fucking God damn weeks I hadn't spoken to him. At home, it was utterly silent, me basically living by myself while Max traveled, living it up while I was living my own personal hell. I had essentially created it for myself. The old adage, "What he doesn't know won't hurt him." was true. I should have never told him about the cold kiss I had received from Colby. In all honesty, I thought it really was Harry until he chuckled. Now I had to drag myself around, acting like I was fucking happy when I was essentially dead on the inside. Like a flower during the winter time, coated by ice and unable to bloom.
Watching as he walked into the gym, his eyes red and puffy, I could feel my heart shattering. He still looked as gorgeous as the day I met him, only dark circles made their home under his eyes and he looked a little thinner.
"Alright," he sighed, wiping at his nose with his shirt. "Um, today we're gonna work on Special. We need to adjust the flex cut to be able to go above or below and also put in a new inbounds play."
"You okay?" Mia asked, bouncing the ball between her legs.
"Yeah. I'm fine," he nodded. "Let's start with layups. 30 makes, you run for the misses." I cleared my throat as we spread onto the court and I tripped over Mia, smashing into him. I immediately tensed, unable to move and could feel his eyes on me. Stepping around me, he walked to the sideline, standing next to Liam as we began the drill. My heart pounded in my chest, partly because of the running, partly because Harry. I had gotten some semblance of his touch after being deprived of it for what seemed like years. As we made it through practice and finally started working on plays, he blew the whistle, sending Liam over to me.
"If you're in deny, make sure your arm is in the passing lane," Liam smiled. "Stay in your stance and it'll help you recover faster if she beats you." Nodding as I wiped the sweat from my forehand, I took a deep breath and we continued to work.
"Split up at the goals. Shoot ten free throws and then we're done." We all spread out, and I tried to calm my breathing. I couldn't let my frustration- no, depression seep into my basketball career. I had to set myself up to be successful and get to college on a scholarship. I had to do whatever it took to achieve what I wanted to achieve. My dream wasn't one from a department store shelf or a Victoria's Secret commercial. I'd been depressed ever since the accident, but the break with Harry only added to the ever mounting cloud of sadness that constantly hung over me no matter how hard I tried to have sunny skies.
Walking from the gym to the locker room and changing back into the t-shirt and sweatpants I had worn to school, I pulled my hoodie over my head and quickly gathered my stuff before walking back out and making my way toward Liam's car. Sighing as he unlocked it, I plopped down in the passenger seat and tossed my bags in the floorboard.
"You did good today," he commented, probably trying to lighten he awkward silence that had formed between us.
"Thanks," I replied, looking down at my phone. It started to rain as we continued down the road and he tapped his fingers against the steering wheel.
"He misses you, ya know."
"Okay."
"Had a hell of a time getting him out of bed this morning. Took me, Louis, and Gemma just to get him in the shower."
"Who's Gemma?"
"His sister."
"Oh."
"I haven't seen him like this in ages."
"Liam, don't," I sighed. "It just wasn't meant to work out. Just stop." Pulling to a stop, I opened my door and grabbed my stuff.
"Have a good thanksgiving," he smiled.
"You too. Thanks for the ride." Closing the door and hustling toward the front door, warm air hit me once I got inside and sighed with relief as I walked toward the elevator. Wanting nothing more than a hot shower and to go to sleep, I eagerly walked out of the elevator once it stopped on my floor. Walking toward the front door, I slowly opened it and turned on the lights to the empty apartment. Tossing my bags on the floor and walking toward the kitchen, I slightly jumped to see Harry sitting at the island.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice coming out weak.
"I wanna talk to you," Harry replied, looking up at me.
"I think you need to go," I sighed, leaning against the counter.
"Neely, please."
"Harry, it's not meant to work out between us, so just please don't waste your breath." I couldn't look him in the eyes, just hearing his voice made me want to hug him and never let him go.
"It's not wasting my breath."
"You are!" I yelled. "There's nothing here that's left. You are gonna find someone else to love. There's seven billion people in the world."
"No matter what you say, there's still something worth fighting for."
"You're wrong." Feeling his fingers wrap around my wrist, I balled my hand into a fist as he put it to his chest. Tears were beginning to fall down my cheeks and I bit my lip to keep from sobbing.
"You feel that?" he asked, trying to unfold my fingers flat against his chest. Fighting against his hand, he pressed my fingers flat against his chest with his other palm. His heart was pounding underneath my hand. "It beats for you."
"Harry, stop," I whispered, tasting the saltiness of my tears on my lips. "Please."
"You feel that and you give me one good God damn reason I should leave."
"Harry."
"What are you so afraid of?!" he yelled and I jumped slightly. "We can work through this."
"Deep down, you and I both know it'll never work!" I screamed, my hand pushing against his chest, shoving him back.
"That's a load of bullshit and you know it!"
"Harry, just fucking stop."
"Tell me why I should! You think you have such a great life to fall back on. You have no one without me and I have no one without you!"
"I don't need you!"
"Fine," he snapped. "I lost you once, I think I could do it again, but tell me something." (#crying bc Noah Calhoun)
"What? What the fuck do you want to know so damn bad?" I seethed, looking him in the eyes and finding my insides to be crumbling.
"Tell me why I shouldn't fight for you."
"What do you not understand, Harry?! We will never work and I'm not worth it. I'm fucked up and I don't deserve you. Everything I fucking touch turns to shit," I cried, pushing him back again.
"You'll always be worth it to me and I'm not gonna fucking give up on you. You make me strong," he said, holding my face between his hands. "There's nothing I'm running from, so stop trying to run from me. I'll always be here to catch you."
"You're too good for me."
"No matter what, Neely. I swear to you that I'm gonna love you and protect you and never let anything bad happen to you. I want to give you the life you deserve. We're gonna have problems, that's what couples do."
"It's so hard, Harry." I felt like an idiot for crying. I had no reason to cry.
"So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday," he replied with a smile.
"This isn't The Notebook," I laughed, his thumbs wiping at my tears.
"It applies. We might be from two different worlds, but Neely, I love you. And as long as my heart is beating, I'll love you."
"Okay, Noah," I teased. "I don't know which is sadder, the fact we fight so much or the fact that you remembered that entire line."
"Probably the latter of the two," he grinned. Rolling my eyes and leaning against one of his palms, I felt his thumb soothingly run across my cheek again.
"I love you and I'm sorry," I whispered, feeling his lips press against my forehead.
"I love you more and I'm sorry too. I can be a big, dumb, guy sometimes."
"Sometimes?"
"Okay, okay." We both chuckled and I let out a long sigh, opening my eyes again and looking at him.
"I wanna try something," I mumbled, looking back from his eyes to his lips.
Thank you all so much for 21k reads. Literally, amazing. Plus the votes and all y'all's comments give me life.
Much love and always stay Larry af.