S T E L L A
"Oh god, what happened this time, Stel?"
"What are you talking about?"
"It looks like Betty Crocker had an orgy in here."
I looked around my flour dusted kitchen as batter covered bowls and utensils decorated my countertops. I was just pulling out a hot tray of cookies from the oven when Gracie came in, nearly causing me to drop them on the open glass door.
"I'm just baking." I shrugged my shoulders, setting the cookie sheet onto the stove to cool.
"I can see that, but you made enough cookies to end starvation in a small village." Gracie waved her arms around to the abundance of baked goods surrounding us. I had already packed some into containers since I was on my fifth batch.
"What's wrong with that?" I asked, scooping out peanut butter dough balls and rolling them in my hands to place onto the baking sheet.
"You only bake like this when you're stressed." Gracie raised her brows at me expectedly, placing one hand on her hip as the other grabbed a fresh cookie.
"Not every time." I mumbled, continuing to space the lumps of dough to bake.
As much as I tried to deny that my current baking frenzy was due to stress, Gracie was right. I had multiple ways of blowing off steam and clearing my head, but I found that baking was not only therapeutic, it was delicious. Baking and eating away my worries with homemade cookies was the key to my mental stability for the past three years.
I could see Gracie shaking her blue head in the corner of my eye. "The last time you baked like this was when you were waiting for your acceptance letter–"
"We don't talk about that." I cut off my best friend, watching her bubbly presence turn quiet and low. "Unless you wanna watch me bake five more batches, you shush."
"Sorry, it just slipped out." Gracie muttered, stuffing a peanut butter cookie in her mouth to distract from my scolding tone. "But seriously, what's wrong this time? What's got you baking again?"
I sighed, sliding in the sheet of raw dough into the oven. My pause was intentional and thoughtful, knowing that if I did not word my thoughts carefully, Gracie could potentially eat me alive.
"Well last night I had to bail out Luke because he started a bar fight to protect one of the flag girls and Ashton tackled and arrested him. So they both met each other last night and it was really weird and now I don't know what to do. Like they're so different yet I think I like them both and I-"
"Jesus Christmas, Stella. Breathe." Gracie mounted her hands on my shoulders as she demonstrated deep breaths for me to copy.
"I'm sorry I rambled," I wiped my hands on my apron anxiously.
"Wait, Stella." Gracie clutched onto my batter covered fingers.
"Ew, Grace. I have dough all on my h-"
"Did you just say you like them both?"
"Well n-no, I said I think I do."
"You think? So you're not sure?"
"Gracie, I am one of the most emotionally-unaware girls to walk the Earth. I have not fucking clue."
Gracie looked at me with squinted eyes, releasing my hands from her grasp before looking down in disgust from the yellow batter coating her hands. She silently wiped it off on my apron before placing her face into her hands.
Her silent gaze was detectably her way of determining if I were lying to her or not. I told Gracie almost everything about anything that has ever happened in my life, but she knew how reserved I was about having romantic feelings for people. My best friend was always one to pry on my feelings, yet most of the time I didn't quite understand them myself.
"Well you do have an emotional capacity the size of a peanut, so I believe you." Gracie snickered, reaching for another cookie from the stove.
I was unable to control my habitual eye roll as I continued to bake. I could hear Gracie quietly humming to herself, pacing around my kitchen like a professor calculating quantum-physics. Although, it did not take long for the blue haired girl to begin thinking out loud.
"So you bailed bad boy out of jail and good boy had the key?" Gracie pondered, petting her chin as if she were in deep thought over my unfortunate events.
"I guess." I shrugged. "Not fond of the way you worded it, though."
"That's besides the point, Stel." Gracie lazily wiped down the counter with her bare hands before turning around to lift herself onto it, swinging her legs toward me as she sat. "You've been going on dates with Ashton, so I get that. But you haven't even gone out with the bad boy yet. Why the sudden interest?"
I stood back from the oven, blinking at the words that came out of Gracie's mouth. She was right and I honestly did not have a single, valid answer for her. Luke was Calum's outlaw friend who blackmailed me into fixing his car and called me to bail him out of a holding cell. Whether it was my random, steamy dream with him or the meaningless encounters we had outside of the autoshop, I had no real reason to have romantic feelings toward Luke.
Lust? Maybe, but it certainly could be nothing more than that.
Right?
"You know what?" I nodded my heading at Gracie as she flinched slightly from my abrupt words. "You're right. I think I'm going to see how things play out with Ashton. He's good for me and he seems like he really likes me."
Gracie's eyebrows nearly touched in confusion. "I thought you just said y–"
"Luke is hot but he's dangerous and he definitely knows he's hot." I cut off my best friend, shaking my head as I gathered my dirty dishes into the sink. "I can't let my dumb attraction fool me over actually liking someone good, like Ashton."
I looked over my shoulder to see Gracie pucker her lips as she picked at her nails in silence. I had a feeling she had something to say, yet she was hesitant.
"What?" I asked, watching her eyes flicker up at mine before her mouth was slightly agape.
It was as if she were able to read right though me as my mind began to map out my scattered thoughts clearer with every passing moment. It was frightening because owning up to my own emotions was my weakness, especially when I was called out on it.
"Just because he's good for you, doesn't mean he's what you want."
*
"Stel."
If I were not only wearing an oversized hoodie and lace panties, my face would not have turned such a deep shade of pink when Luke snuck up on me behind the living room couch. My gasp was muffled with my sleeve covered hand as Luke quietly made his way around the sofa to sit beside me.
"Sorry, did I scare you?" Luke chuckled with a hushed tone, swiftly moving his arm up to drape over the backrest behind me.
Even though the darkness of my parlor encased us, I was able to see the hint of red surrounding his blue irises from the glow of my television screen. Although his hair was disheveled and lacked his usual leather jacket, he was just as appealing to the eyes as if he were clad in his best outfit. Nothing could stop Luke from being so charming, not even the early hours of the morning and a raspy voice to match.
"Yes, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's one in the morning." I carefully pulled down the hem of my hoodie as I kept eye contact with the blonde racer. "What are you doing breaking into my house this early?"
If I had blinked a second earlier, I would have missed the way Luke's eyes glanced down at my bare legs before meeting my eyes like they never left.
"Couldn't sleep." He shrugged, looking over to the only source of light in my living room as it transitioned to a new episode of 'Love Island'.
"So you decided to break into my house?" I glared at him, not really understanding the urge to come into my home because he was not able to sleep.
"Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart. It's not my intention to stay here and watch a dating show in the dark with you." Luke whispered, his puzzled eyes remaining glued to my television screen. "Wait, is this the British one?"
I hold back a laugh, grinning smugly at the tired looking boy as he kept his focus on the show. "Yeah, I like it better than the Australian one."
"The UK one is not even half as good as the Australian one. You have horrible taste, Stella Anne." Luke yawned, rubbing his eye in the process.
Maybe this is what you want, Stella.
I hated the way Gracie's words pulsed in my brain like a metronome, telling me that maybe I'm just fooling myself into thinking I want Ashton because he's good for me. Doubting my judgement about my own feelings was nothing new, yet I had a hunch that maybe I did want Luke. I found myself worrying about him more than despising him and seeking the thrill of his lifestyle that was beyond my normal routine. Even in moments like this, when he's sat right beside me while we talk about what version of 'Love Island' is better. It was if I could see a glint of his soft side peaking through more and more with every encounter.
I wanted to see all of his sides.
"Stel?"
"Yeah?"
"Staring is rude, y'know?"
I darted my eyes down to my lap, laughing awkwardly under my breath as I combed a stray lock of hair behind my ear. Luke laughed lowly, leaning back into the couch as he crossed his legs that were covered by grey sweatpants.
I hated the way he could confidently call me out, even on the smallest of things. His joking tone eased me, yet I embarrassingly couldn't tell how long I had been staring at him.
I could stare at him all night.
"Sorry I was thinking about something." I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest. "Not to change the subject but if you aren't here to watch 'Love Island' with me, why are you here?"
Luke's gaze was already set on me as I looked back up to him, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes flickered around my facial features.
"Well usually when I can't sleep I go for a ride in my Mustang," Luke paused, tilting his head back onto the couch cushion. "But since it's in literal pieces right now, I had a great idea."
"Doesn't sound like it's going to be great." I bit the inside of my cheek, having a feeling that I knew what Luke was suggesting.
"I was thinking we could take the Pontiac for a spin." Luke smirked, his fingertips drumming on my shoulder as his arm remained behind me.
"In your dreams, Luke. That was a one time thing." I gently removed his fingers off of my shoulder, watching him pout at the action and my strict words.
"C'mon, Stel." Luke nudged my side with his other hand playfully as I held in a soft squeak from the ticklish touch. "Cal won't even notice, it'll be an hour tops."
"It's just a bad idea. Didn't you drive here in your other car?" I groaned quietly at the anxious feeling already bubbling in the pit of my stomach.
"It's just not the same. It's not even close to the feeling I get when I drive my Mustang." Luke jutted his bottom lip out as his eyes were soft and puppy-like. "But Cal's car is the next best thing."
I cupped my hands over my face, shaking my head at all the potential trouble I would get into with my brother. Luke drove the Pontiac before and I trusted his driving abilities, but something about sneaking out to drive it in the middle of the night was too far out of my comfort zone.
"You know you want to, it would be so fun." Luke pushed, now nudging the top of his head into the crook of my neck as he began talking in his sing-song manner. "All you have to do is get the keys and I'll drive."
Whether it was from the lack of much needed sleep or the swelling feeling in my chest at the idea of riding in a car with him again, I slowly stood up from the couch and faced Luke.
"An hour tops?" I asked, watching Luke's devious smile grow bigger at my words.
"Tops." He confirmed, standing up in front of me.
"You promise?" I stuck my pinky finger out as Luke chuckled softly.
"I promise." He confirmed once again, wrapping his smallest finger around my own.
As I spun around on my heel to head over to Calum's room, the sensation of Luke's fingertips against my waist and the back of my thigh made me tense in place. Luke cleared his throat as his face hovered over my shoulder, offering me a notorious smirk as my back was pressed up against his chest.
"You should probably put some shorts on before we leave." His hushed whisper met my ear as he pulled down the hem of my hoodie, letting it fall against the middle of my thighs to where it should have been.
Fucking hell.
"Noted." I nodded curtly before detracting myself from the tall blonde, cursing quietly as I held the bottom of my hoodie while walking down the hallway.
After successfully snatching the keys off of Calum's dresser and putting on a decent pair of shorts, I quietly rushed back to the living room. Leaning against my kitchen counter, Luke quickly looked at me up and down as he took a bite from one of the peanut butter cookies I made earlier in the day.
"Didn't know you baked." Luke whispered, standing up straight to close the container he opened. "These are pretty good."
"Thank you." I mumbled, slowly opening the front door as did not want to explain why I even baked in the first place.
Luke followed closely behind me as we made our way down to the autoshop below my house, attempting to weave through all the machinery in the dark without a sound. I could feel my nerves building as I manually unlocked the blue door of the car, managing to hinge open the vehicle quietly before sliding into the leather passenger seat. Luke followed suit on the driver's side, looking over to me as he slid the key into the ignition.
"Why are you nervous?" He asked quietly, eyes wandering down to my jumpy leg.
"Because this is bad." I laughed at myself, feeling childish for wording my sentence the way I did. "This is really bad."
"Stel." Luke left the key in the slot soundlessly, slowly grasping my hand in his as he opened my palm to lay flat against his chest over where his heart was. "Feel that?"
"Y-yeah." I reply, feeling the rhythm of his heart quickly thumping against my hand.
"It's not that bad." He whispered, letting go of my hand as he gently placed his hand over my heart that was beating just as fast his his. I hesitantly placed my own hand over his as I could feel the vibration. "It's just adrenaline. It's our bodies way of preparing us for something."
"Adrenaline doesn't make it bad. Doing bad things make it bad." My eyes flicker back and forth between our hands and Luke's calming, blue eyes.
I had a feeling that my heart was quickening it's pace and it was not from adrenaline this time. Knowing he could feel it made it even worse.
Luke slowly detached his hand from my chest, his fingers finding their way to the key once again as he shot me a small smirk before starting the engine of Calum's Pontiac.
"If it's really so bad, then why does it feel so good?"
_
omg this chap took a lot of time and thinking but i like what it finally came out to be AHHHH WE LOVE A BAD BOY, AM I RIGHT?!
Q: whats your fav 5sos music video?
mine would probably be either be 'lie to me' or 'amnesia' hehe
i really love this chap now, i had a pretty love hate thing going on with it bc i deleted and added so much. did anyone get triggered by the title ??? saved it for the very end to keep things interesting LOL GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER
i love you all so much and can't wait to write this next chapter hOW EXCITING! <3
xo