Home-
Love...
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⚠️WARNING⚠️
Contains sexual content
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Chapter 13
November 2nd 1943
Surrey, England
Morning always seemed to drag on; even as this was the day the freshly graduated recruits were finally to be liberated from bootcamp.
Of course Zayn's mornings were at least bareable with Liam by his side.
This morning however did have a much different vibe.
They weren't dreading a morning of training or long boring lectures. Instead it freedom at last! Well freedom until they'd be yanked back into Germany that is.
So possibly they only had a few days or weeks of freedom.
After their last breakfast together. While most of the time their group just talked and talked about their plans after bootcamp; Zayn and Liam took off together on the very same train that had brought them to the bootcamp.
The train where they had first met in a rather awkward first meeting as they traveled together to their training.
Zayn was unsure if it was something he'd like to remember. The memory was somewhat uncomfortable for him.
He remembered how hard it was for him to control himself around the mocha eyed brunette which he nearly had embarrassed himself in front of. He had never been more nervous in his life.
It was truly a wonderfully cursed day...
' " Zayn leaned over passing the boundary, his face was so close to Liam's that not only could they feel eachothers breaths on their faces, Zayn could see a little faded freckle under Liam's eye. Both then fell quiet, their laughter muted as they stared at one another. Zayn had forgotten his reason for getting so close and now, fuck, he couldn't move back.
Trying to process words Zayn bit his lip slowly forcing his eyes to remain in Liam's and not risk the chance of glancing at his perfect plump lips and-
"We have reached the training camp! Please exit your cabins in an orderly fashion!"
" 'm sorry I was gonna-" 'kiss you' Zayn mentally pushed that thought away as he quickly forced out an excuse "-mess with you but I forgot-" wait, he was sounding mad. The way Liam looked at him he was sure he had fucked up.
Liam's lips curled into a smirk and he pinched his nose chuckling "No it's fine, why are you so nervous?" He then stood up to grab his case "I probably would have kissed you for the fun of it."
Zayn knew it was a joke but that didn't stop his heart from fluttering like a butterfly and for blush to creep on his face. Luckily Liam was too busy getting his stuff together he had missed how red Zayn had gotten.
Assuming why Zayn had been quiet at that Liam quickly spoke up "Relax, I was joking, I'm not gay." He giggled, his assumption was far from the true reason.
Zayn's heart about broke at his statement, he really shouldn't have gotten his hopes up.
There was no other gay men except for himself. For Liam to possibly be one was out of the question.
He had no chance at all with him and sadly it hurt to know that though it was the truth.
"Yeah, I-I know." Zayn pushed himself up from his seat and joined Liam, grabbing his own case which Liam had passed to him.
Once they had gotten their cases Liam looked to Zayn one last time before walking off "Would you like to get off with me?
Zayn bit down on his tongue before he'd make some stupid remark. You see the more he was around Liam the more he felt-in love?
No, they were all only feelings but he didn't want it to grow into that—into love. He couldn't do that to himself and have him—oh for fucks sake he was only simply asking if he wanted to to get off the train with him not move in with him! They'd end up getting split up anyways so why the hell did it matter?
Releasing his tongue Zayn smiled pushing out his constant over exaggerated thoughts "Yeah sure." '
Then with a flutter of his tired eyes, Zayn blinked out of his daydream which seemed to both torture and amuse his clouded mind.
Zayn had the hardest time deciding whether it was the best or worst thing to remember.
It was the day he had met and befriended Liam yet at the same time it was a day with so many cringy moments.
Anyways, surprisingly as he had that short day dream; it lasted him the entire journey back to his hometown, Bradford.
Earlier the two had made the final decision at breakfast to get a room just outside Bradford that way Zayn would be near his family.
Liam planned to spend the night with Zayn and briefly meet the rest of Zayn's big family the following day before taking the train to his own home many miles away in Wolverhampton.
They of course made plans to see eachother a few times before being shipped off to war. Zayn just refused to talk much about it because he hated the thought of being apart.
He preferred to just enjoy what little time they had together before they'd soon meet their uncertain fate alone.
"Ready?" Liam asked with a smile as he handed Zayn his suitcase.
Zayn tiredly rubbed his neck before taking the case and giving him a nod in reply.
~
It wasn't long till they made their way to the small inn just outside of Zayn's hometown.
Zayn only hoped no one recognized him at the inn nor talked about him getting a room with another man.
The thought of people whispering about them bubbled in his stomach and it made him feel suddenly nauseous.
He did his best not to make it obvious to Liam. He didn't want to seem like a coward in front of him.
Zayn just feared this might revive that fire he tried so hard to put out before he had left.
All the abuse he received from his fellow neighbors and classmates that was over something that really was not far from truth—not in the slightest...
He felt sudden ease once he found himself in their cozy little room and with Liam's calm brown eyes staring into his gold pair.
His worry, pain and fears all fell around him and he felt safe.
He felt safe under Liam's sedative gaze.
His drug
Zayn felt himself drawing closer to Liam's tall strong frame.
They both dropped their bags and flew their arms around one another.
Zayn's body automatically went limp in the older boy's embrace. It was like he was high.
And when Liam's lips met his, it was like a whole different high.
One that had him feeling in a way he hadn't before.
Time seemed to not exist anymore for him.
The next thing he knew, they both had fallen into the bed behind them.
Every movement they made was like a lucid dream.
It was slow, swift yet strangely fast.
In a single blink Zayn found that they were both practically ripping off each other's clothes like animals.
Zayn only took a moment to watch Liam's buttoned tan army shirt slide off every vein and muscle on his upper body.
The slowness of it in Zayn's eyes made him feel as if he was already on cloud nine. The way everything moved, like a small purple track was left and slowly fading.
He knew his mouth was watering because he could feel the drool spill from the side of his parted mouth.
Zayn then leaned over, he didn't know what the hell he was doing but his body did so he let it take over every little movement he made.
His mouth then dragged over Liam's exposed broad collarbone whilst it made it's way to a popped vein on the side of the latter's neck.
Instinctively he sucked away at it with more than pleasure.
Liam struggled to hold a moan in and he placed a heavy hand over Zayn's hardened crotch.
Zayn didn't even realize he was already so hard, he was so high on lust.
"Li-"
And with another bat of his eye, Liam was full on naked hanging over Zayn's own naked body.
The way Liam's dog tag dangled down towards the center of Zayn's chest was by far the most hottest thing in the world.
The raven haired boy was far too sedated to even process what exactly was happening until there was a sharp push past the tightened rings of his bum.
He drew in a gasp.
"You alright?" Liam's voice was so caring and soft.
Little flashes of Liam prepping him breezed through his mind and it helped Zayn relax under the bigger boy.
He was dumbly smiling at the images of Liam fingering him moments earlier.
"Yes." He whispered drunkly in reply as he pulled Liam down for a sloppy wet kiss.
As they kissed, Liam used their kiss as a distraction and he finally, after so many months caging in every explicit feeling he had for the smaller boy; pushed in.
"Uh!" Zayn moaned out as his body spasmed in reaction.
His nails instinctively pressed into Liam's skin from the painful stretch though he welcomed it.
His boyfriend took that reaction as permission to push in more till his entire length was touching Zayn's sweet spot.
Liam knew he had reached it because the boy's body was violently convulsing under him.
Liam smiled at the beautiful sight of Zayn having no control because of him. The thought of it turned him on more and so he dove down and captured Zayn's soft lips once more as he drew himself out and pushed back in.
A few minutes flew by yet the stench of sex was strong in the room.
And the sound was beyond comprehend.
Erratic breathing, little high pitched moans here and there and the overwhelming sound of skin slapping bouncing against the walls. One would have to be absolutely deaf not to hear it from the lobby.
And then-
"Uh fuck I-I'm-" Zayn's sentence was cut short by an involuntary moan that was even louder than his smaller ones.
Liam was right behind him.
Both were shaking from their wild climaxes.
Liam had pushed as deep as he could whilst he released and Zayn's muscles tightened at the same moment milking whatever left Liam had.
"Shit."
Liam was completely out of breath.
He pulled out very carefully to ensure he didn't hurt the already wrecked boy and he fell onto his back upon the mattress, beside his panting boyfriend.
Zayn was in a complete daze. He didn't notice Liam was even talking at all. He seemed to now be reaching the crash of his amazing high.
"Zayn."
The boy fluttered his tired eyes a bit after noticing every weird effect in his vision had disappeared. His vision had returned.
He then turned his head slowly to those gorgeous glossy mocha orbs all the while he struggled to keep his own eyes open.
"Hm." He quietly responded.
"I love you." Liam repeated as he put an arm over the boys stomach and pulled him closer to his body.
And Zayn was complete.
He closed his heavy eyes and let his sleep take over.
All that was left was his dark peaceful dreamworld behind his closed eyes.
~
Morning.
Zayn moved his arm from under him and attempted to grab unto the other body beside him but there was only cold sheets.
Immediately he awoke and sat up to inspect the empty space beside him.
Panic mixed with dread filled within Zayn and he suddenly couldn't breathe.
So many thoughts and questions crowded his mind. He couldn't keep up with any of them.
' What if he decided he wasn't gay and felt ashamed and left? What if he tells everyone in my town and has me killed? What if tells my family, my father?!'
Zayn broke out in tears, he only just awoke and this was far too much for him to handle.
This was a horrible idea.
This shouldn't have happened or-
"Morning, love." A low familiar voice called from the door.
Zayn couldn't help but jump up and run to the bathroom.
He slammed the door and fell to the ground with his knees folded up to his chest.
The brunette was bewildered by Zayn's sudden actions.
He had only gone downstairs to grab him and Zayn and fresh cup of coffee.
It was pretty late in the morning and he knew Zayn valued his sleep so he thought he'd sneak out and surprise him.
This was not at all what he planned.
With a sigh, Liam placed their coffees on the one dresser beside the bed and walked over to the bathroom door.
He knocked first before speaking. "Zayn? Babe, you alright?"
Zayn didn't know how to answer. He basically overloaded his poor brain with those horrible assumptions and thoughts.
"Zayn?" Liam was growing concerned.
So he tried the door and to his surprise it was unlocked.
Liam opened the door to the sight of his poor Zayn curled up in a fetal position shaking like a child who had been scared out of bed by thunder.
Liam was confused by the sight yet he instinctively crouched next to the boy and pulled him into his strong comforting arms.
"Babe, what's this about, huh?" He asked the boy in a worried yet soft soothing tone.
Zayn took a moment to breathe before answering.
"I thought you left me." He admitted softly."Thought you regretted last night."
Liam frowned. He was surprised Zayn still thought that way. Like Zayn didn't trust him. Then he remembered and reminded himself it wasn't Zayn's fault. He basically was the cause of Zayn's trust issues and worst fears.
That had Liam feeling horrible.
Liam sighed "Zayn." He released the fragile boy to look him in the eyes.
"I promise you I will never ever regret last night."
He placed a comforting hand over the boys wet cheek. "Last night was the best night of my life! I swear it my love!"
"What about the girls you've-" Zayn stopped himself before he'd ruin the moment. He couldn't even believe he dared to go there.
Liam's thumb dragged over a forming tear whipping it away. "Love, you are the first I truly got to know personally before sleeping with you. You are the first to love me and not my dick."
He cracked a smile after he made that statement hoping it would radiate onto the younger boys sad face.
The smile only lasted for a second and the boy stayed silent.
So Liam continued hoping to lift Zayn's doubts with his honesty. "I was never in love with those girls. They meant nothing to me. They mean nothing. You opened my eyes babe!"
He went on after a short pause. "I kept trying to make myself feel and believe something that I knew deep down was not true about myself. Then I met you." Again he smiled but it was even wider.
At that Zayn smiled right back at him.
"For the first time I finally let go of that lie I lived for so god damn long. It was really hard at first because I had it embedded into me but as I began dating you I opened up and let myself be free. You helped free me, love"
Zayn bit his lip trying to keep himself from smiling to widely at Liam's flattering words.
"And last night I let everything left I held go. I felt ready and so comfortable with just accepting who I am and embracing it! Last night meant the world to me and I never will let that go!"
Zayn now felt really stupid for his little dramatic act. He should've remembered that this was Liam's first time with a man and his first time being his true self with someone. This wasn't his usual one nightstand.
"Fuck, Li." Zayn cupped the back of his lovers head and stroked it softly. "I'm so sorry I doubted you. I just-"
"Hey." Liam hushed as he placed a finger over Zayn's moving lips. "You don't need to apologize. I know I've been a dick in the past and well I know you've dealt with a lot of shit when it comes to trust...I should've left a note, I'm sorry."
Zayn shook his head but before he could protest Liam beat him.
"No don't. I know you're still building my trust. You shouldn't be apologizing for anything at all."
The younger boy gave up taking fault and he sighed in defeat. "Fine." He chuckled softly as he rose both hands in surrender.
Liam let out a chuckle in return.
"Now that thats all settled I got us some coffee waiting for us on the dresser." The brunette stated with a smile.
Zayn's eyes lit up "Put cream and sugar in mine?" he questioned hoping Liam remembered how he liked his coffee.
"Of course." Liam winked with a nod.
"Great!" Zayn exclaimed jumping up suddenly like a jumping bean.
Liam quickly rose up and joined the boy out of the bathroom to enjoy their now lukewarm coffee before checking out.
~
"Oh Liam dear what a pleasure to see you again!" Trisha pleasantly welcomed the smiling brunette as she opened the door wide for him and Zayn to enter her home.
"And you as well." Liam politely replied as he set his suitcase down on the rug to give her a big hug.
Trisha clung tightly onto Liam for quite sometime. She seemed a big fan of Zayn's little friend perhaps too big of a fan.
Nor Liam or Zayn knew how to get her off of him so they just kept quiet and only widely smiled until Zayn's father stepped in and saw the sight.
With a confused frown he cleared his throat hoping that would get his wife's attention immediately.
And just as he hoped the blushing woman released Liam and turned to her husband, a guilty smile on her face.
Zayn snickered finding her reaction hilarious. He also found it hilarious that his own mom has developed an obvious crush on his secret boyfriend. He'd never let this die.
"This is uh—Yaser my husband." She nearly forgot her husband's name.
Zayn stifled a laugh as he quickly shut the door so no one would see his face.
Liam looked a bit uncomfortable and boy Zayn had to look away or else he'd explode in laughter.
His dad on the other hand did not look at all amused but somehow he managed to pull a fake smile.
"You must be Liam." He stuck out his hand for Liam to grab.
Liam was hesitant at first yet he got himself to bravely grab Zayn's fathers hand and shake it. "Yes, sir." His reply came out pained.
Zayn glanced at their hands and almost snorted at how strong his fathers grip was. Liam's hand was turning completely white. He could've sworn he also heard a few fingers crunch.
"Ah."
Zayn's father stared deep down into Liam's soul as if to send him some kind of warning before he released the boy's hand.
Once Liam's hand was free he tried to stretch his fingers nonchalantly as Yaser turned his attention to his son.
His face flipped and he about sprinted up to him and pulled him into a crushing hug.
"My son!"
Zayn's breath was practically knocked out of him. He could see Liam smirking at him over his fathers shoulder. He glared in return.
"My dear son!" Yaser pulled back to assess any changes or growth in the boy's face.
"You are officially a man!" He exclaimed in pride. "I am so proud!"
Zayn smiled but he wasn't all that happy with his fathers compliments.
"I apologize for not attending your graduation. I unfortunately had to watch over the diner while your mother was a away for your graduation. I did brag about you though. Everyone is so proud of you, son!"
Yeah everyone may had been proud for him but himself. This was not what he wanted.
"I heard you ranked as a medic." He smiled. "That's great, son! You'll be playing a big part in the war!"
Well that was unexpected.
"Zayn?"
Waliyha peeked into the living then her eyes grew when she noticed her brother had returned.
"It is you!" She shouted in excitement as she ran at her brother with open arms.
"Waliyha!" He caught her in a hug and giggled along with her.
She let go and turned to the stranger standing behind her.
"I'm sorry, and you are?" She politely questioned.
Liam outstretched his hand to her. "I'm Liam, your brother's friend from bootcamp."
She smiled up at him as she took Liam's hand and shook it with pleasure. "Nice to meet you, Liam I'm-"
"Waliyha." Liam grinned. "Zayn has told me a lot about you."
At that she shot Zayn a glare. "Oh really?"
"All good things." Liam assured her.
"Good." She smiled turning her attention back to the brunette.
"Zaynie!"
Little Safaa then came sprinting in.
Zayn picked her up and hugged her tightly. "Hey, princess."
Safaa pulled back and huffed "I hate being called that. I'm a big kid now, brother!"
"Oh right sorry I forgot." Zayn giggled as he tickled her side causing the little girl to squeal and giggle.
Liam watched the two with a grin. Too adorable it was.
"Who's he?" Safaa asked Zayn once she was let down in the direction of Zayn's new friend.
"I'm Liam. A friend of your brother." He answered as he offered her his hand.
"Oh." She looked down in awe at Liam's big hand. "Hi." Her index finger curled around his finger and she shook it. She was too shy for Liam was quite a little too handsome for her too handle.
"You must be Safaa." Liam's friendly voice brought the shy little girl out of her trance.
"Yeah." She blushed, batting her eyes. "Your um cute."
Zayn's eyes widened. His mom was one thing but his youngest sister? He didn't know if he should laugh or be worried.
"Safaa, he's far too old for you." He reminded her in a playful tone.
Zayn knew Liam was really good looking. He couldn't help looking so good. He couldn't blame Liam at all for that. He had the entire female gender falling in love with him.
Little Safaa let out a sad sigh. "I know but-" she looked back up at the older boy and smiled shyly. "When I grow up?"
Liam gave her a shake of his head. "Unfortunately not." He answered honestly. "I've got someone already but I promise you, you'll find yourself a handsome fella like me and he'd be so lucky to have a pretty girl like you."
He winked at her as she took his kind rejection as a compliment.
"Oh, alright." She then smiled. "It really is a pleasure to meet you though."
"And you as well." Liam gleamed.
"I'm sure Doniya would love to meet you too." Safaa added. "Although she doesn't talk."
"Safaa." Trisha warned.
Safaa shrugged. "It's true but I'm sure you'll get along. She's nice."
"I bet she is." Liam glanced at Zayn who stared down at the ground with a saddened expression.
Doniya was a mess from what he had last heard from his mother. There was still no word on her husband and her baby was a bit of a handful for her. She had hoped her husband would be there for the birth but he wasn't and that just made her even more depressed than she already was.
And with her baby brother going into war was about the cherry on top for her.
~
"This is Doniya." Trisha introduced as they all settled in the kitchen. "And baby Hamza"
The young mother looked up at Liam with her dark circled eyes. She was pale and even skinnier than Zayn remembered. There was no emotion behind her strained tired eyes.
The sight made Zayn want to cry. His poor sister was suffering and here he was. It wasn't fair for her he admitted but life sucked. He'd do anything to make her happy though. If only he could bring her lost husband home.
Hamza moved a bit in her skinny arms and cooed. He happened to be a sleep. Zayn was still happy to see him regardless. His precious little nephew who was swaddled in a blue knitted blanket. He couldn't help but at least smile at that.
"Hello Doniya." Liam greeted her in such a soft voice.
Zayn sadly smiled at his boyfriend who glanced at him for split second.
Liam looked back at Doniya and gave her a friendly smile. "I'm your brothers bootcamp friend. He's told me so much about you." He shifted his eyes to the sleeping child in her arms. "You're son is adorable I must say."
Doniya only blinked at him in response. She was completely emotionless.
"It's a pleasure meeting you." Liam smiled down at her. "I wish you the best." He said sincerely.
The brunette then glanced down at his watch and looked to his boyfriend. "The train will be at the station in a half an hour. I should head out."
Zayn swallowed a painful knot in his throat that had formed as he watched Liam talk softly to his sister.
"Yeah." He sniffed. "My father put your suitcase at the door. Want me to walk you out?"
"Of Course." Liam nodded.
"Alright."
Zayn looked up to his mother. "I'll be back."
"Your fine." She nodded.
Liam then said his goodbyes to everyone before heading out the front with Zayn.
"Come." Zayn motioned him to follow him.
He led him down a secret path near his home that led to a small creek hidden by a bunch of bushes and bare trees.
It was one of his escapes when he'd have a panic attack or a breakdown. The sound of the water running down the creek helped calm him and refresh his overwhelmed mind.
Being there this time reminded him a bit of his and Liam's own secret special spot at the bootcamp only this place was smaller.
"Hey." Zayn slipped Liam's suitcase out of his hand and he set it on the ground.
He then brought Liam to his knees with him behind the bushes and he inched closer to the older boy.
"I love you."
Liam smiled so widely at Zayn's words of love.
"I love you too." He whispered in reply as he leaned into Zayn's face. "So much."
Zayn's smile fell and he moved back worry now taking over him. "What if we are called into the war tomorrow? What if we're separated and this is the last time we'll ever see eachother."
"Zayn-" Liam tried to calm him but the boy was too quick to interrupt him.
"What if one of us die?"
Liam took Zayn's trembling hands in his and he rubbed the tops of his hands comfortingly with his thumbs.
"You can't think negative, love." He said quietly. "We made a plan and I promise I will make sure we'll see eachother as much as we can before being sent into war."
Zayn's eyes watered he still couldn't help but think of the worst. It's what he did best "But Li-"
"Don't think about the future. You have me right now in the present. If you stress about the future you'll forget to enjoy the present and the present doesn't last long. It becomes the past far too fast. You'll miss it if you keep worrying about the future, babe."
Zayn held his tongue this time and decided to do just as Liam had said.
He began to think about Liam's words long and hard.
Liam was right after all. the present went by so fast. Zayn hated that thought, so he did as Liam had advised him. He enjoyed every little thing they did and took it all in before it would soon come to an end.
Zayn looked up at the bare branches that hung over them.
The sun brightly glistened upon the small droplets that had formed under the ends of each branch. He took that very image in along with the warmth that exploded in his heart all thanks to his own bright glistening sun, Liam.
The thought of himself being that very droplet that was once an icicle until the sun warmed it up and melted it so it was free.
'Free'
"I should be going now." Liam whispered.
Zayn's eyes fell to the gorgeous bright brunette standing before him.
He was looking right at him and Zayn was melting.
But then Zayn remembered and now he was regretting agreeing with Liam over what he said about enjoying the present.
He wished it was always the present if Liam was apart of it.
"Uh yeah." Zayn sighed, feeling depressed once again already.
Liam gave an apologetic look to the poor puppy eyed boy.
"I promise I'll visit again soon." He swore hoping his word was at least enough to help cheer his love up.
Zayn only nodded keeping his gaze mainly on the ground. This wasn't an easy goodbye for him. He hadn't been separated from Liam since Liam had rejected him months ago. And even then that hadn't lasted long.
Liam then placed a hand on the younger boy's cheek and guided his gaze up to him. "I swear it."
"Alright." Zayn replied as he forced on a smile.
The older boy knew Zayn was still a bit upset but he hadn't the time to calm him. He wished he did but he had a train to catch and quite the busy day ahead.
"I love you, Zayn." He warmly stated in a soft hushed whisper.
The side of Zayn's lips twitched and he finally gave a real smile. It was like a magic word.
"I love you, too"
And that was that.
Liam promised to write as well before he took his leave.
Once he had gone Zayn shoved his hands into his pockets, lowered his head and walked home at a slow pace.
He didn't feel ready to return to his actual life living in the shadows and pretending to be someone he wasn't though he knew half the town knew his shameful secret.
Thankfully his parents had refused to believe the rumors. Yet at this point he wasn't sure if that was a bad thing or good thing anymore.
At least his return wouldn't last too long. Maybe if he went on to war he wouldn't comeback.
'I'd be so lucky if that happened' he thought.
Maybe...
———————————————————
Okay I know long time since an update, I'm really sorry. 😣
I've been busy with adulting lol. Seriously though I've just hadn't had the motivation but good news is, I've fully decided I'm going to finish this book.
I really hate to leave you all on a hook and I've felt pretty guilty about doing so, so I've got the motivation again and I promise to update hopefully more frequently.
I do warn that depending on what's going on in my life, at times some updates may take awhile so I do apologize in advance for that. ❤️
Anyways I hope you all enjoyed this chapter ❤️❤️❤️
Now the questions hehe
What do you think will happen next?
Why is too become of Zayn's relationship with Liam?
And remember Zayn's dad awaiting his own conscription? Think he got it yet?
And what do you think happened to Doniya's husband? 🤔
Next chapter will be up soon. ❤️
Much love ❤️❤️❤️