The snow had settled on the ground, every inch covered in white. We had just finished adding the last decorations onto the Christmas tree, but it required one final touch.
"Can we put the star on top of the tree now" a little voice said from beside me.
"Not yet sweetie. We need to wait for daddy to come home"
"When is he coming home?" he pouted.
I smiled at his cute little pout. He always managed to get away with everything with that face. "He should be home soon. It's Christmas Eve, so he'll be working a little late tonight"
"Awww, but I really want to finish the Christmas tree"
"Soon sweetie. How about a Christmas cookie for now while we wait?"
"But aren't those for Santa?" he asked, wide eyed.
I chuckled, nothing ever did get past him "Yes, but I'm sure Santa will let you have one since you've been a good boy this year"
He laughed in delight as he toddled to the kitchen, where a plate of warm cookies awaited him.
I stretched my neck out, rubbing it as I went to sit down on the couch. All day we had been organising the house, getting ready for Christmas. It was taking its toll now. I just hoped Jason would come home soon, so he could take over the Christmas preparations.
The front door opened. Speak of the devil. Our little boy ran to the door, shouting "daddy, daddy, we put the Christmas tree up"
"Did you now? Well, I'll have to see this" Jason said, walking into the living room where I was enjoying my few moments of peace.
"Do you like it? Can we put up the star now?" he giggled, getting out of Jason's hold.
"Were you waiting for me to put up the star?"
"Yeah. You know it's a tradition" I said.
"Sorry, I totally forgot. It's been a crazy day at work but now I'm yours for the rest of the week"
"I hope so. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever" I laughed.
He came down to where I was and kissed me. "I'm sorry. I promise you will have my undivided attention for the rest of the week" he smirked. "And how is our little bun in the oven doing?" he said, kissing my expanding belly.
"She is kicking like crazy. She's ready to come out now" I groaned, rubbing my belly.
"I'm ready to see her" he said, kissing me once again.
"Daddy, let's put the star on the tree" he bounced up and down, holding the star in his hand.
"Okay, okay" Jason laughed, lifting our little boy up so he could place the star on the tree. I swear, each year his smile got wider when we put up the star. All the stress of the Christmas preparations was worth it to see his bright smile.
"I've prepared the guest room for your parents coming over tomorrow" I said to Jason.
"Oh, I completely forgot to tell you. They aren't coming tomorrow. They're going to come by the day after"
"What? Why? What happened? They were supposed to come up here like they do every year"
"They decided to spend it with Liz this year. You see, she's had her baby and they wanted to spend Christmas with her to celebrate her baby's first Christmas"
I sighed, thinking about Liz. It had been years since we had last spoken. I felt a pang in my heart every time I thought about her. My poor in laws had to decide each year where they would spend Christmas. They had spent it with us the past few years since we had our little boy, but it seemed that was all about to change now that Liz had her own family.
Jason's parents would update us on how Liz was every now and again. She seemed happy with her life from what we were hearing.
"It's a shame that our little bugaboo won't ever meet his cousin"
Jason sighed, sitting beside me. "You know Liz won't listen. We did try"
"But that was all those years ago. Can't we try again now?"
"She's stubborn. Nothing's going to change"
"We always used to talk about how we would get married together and have our kids play together" I sighed, my eyes starting to water. "I can't let this happen. I won't let this happen. I must make things right with Liz. I can't let this happen. I won't let this happen. I must make things right with Liz. I can't let this happen. I won't- "
I woke with a start, my heart pounding in my chest. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and sighed, thankful that was all just a dream. Would my life really turn out like that if I never spoke to Liz again? I didn't want to think about a life without Liz. I couldn't imagine not spending another Christmas or birthday together. I couldn't imagine not being there on her wedding and her at mine. I didn't want to imagine all those things.
I knew that dream wasn't real, but if I didn't do anything now, it would end up turning into my reality. I had to fix this and fix it now. I shot out of bed, ready to sort this out once and for all.
I knocked ferociously on the door of the Agreste household, determined not to leave without speaking to Liz. Jason was the one who opened the door, smiling as he saw me there. "Oh, hey Rosie. I wasn't expecting to see you here"
"I'm fine thanks, I need to see Liz." I said, pushing past Jason to get into the house. As much as I loved Jason, I just didn't have time for pleasantries right this second. There were urgent matters to attend to.
I spotted Liz in the kitchen and marched over, determined to say everything that was on my mind. It might not have been enough to salvage our friendship, but she had to at least hear me out. I had caught Liz by surprise as she stood in the middle of the kitchen, wide eyed. I was probably the last person she expected to see.
"I want to speak to you" I demanded.
"I don't have anything to say to you"
"Well, I do and I'm not leaving until you hear what I have to say"
"I think you guys should talk" Jason said, leaning against the kitchen door.
"I don't see how anything you'll say to me will make me change my mind" Liz huffed.
"I'll be in the living room waiting until you're ready to talk" I said, making my way out of the kitchen and to the living room where I plopped down on the couch and folded my arms. I would wait all day if I had to. There was no way I was leaving until I spoke to Liz.
Jason came in and sat down beside me, a small smile on his face. "Have you managed to get through to her?" I asked.
Jason shook his head, glancing to the ground. "She still won't speak to me. I don't know what to do"
I felt for him. This was his sister, who he loved dearly. I hated to think I had come between them. "Don't worry. I'll fix this, I promise" I assured him.
Jason smiled and left the living room, leaving me to my own thoughts. I didn't know what I would do if Liz didn't want to talk. But I hoped she knew how serious I was if she knew I would wait here all day. I would wait days if I had to, but I'm sure it wouldn't come to that. Knowing Liz, her curiosity would get the better of her, and she would eventually want to hear what I had to say. I just didn't know how long that would be.
At first, I thought she would never appear. It felt like hours had passed before she finally peeked her head round, like the curious cat she was.
My heart was pounding, this was my chance to make things right, I just hoped I didn't mess things up. I patted to the space beside me and she rolled her eyes, reluctantly taking the seat. I knew she wouldn't want to start off with pleasantries, so I decided to get right into it.
"I just want to firstly apologise for how all this worked out. This turned out to be one huge mess and I hate that it happened this way. I'm so sorry "
Liz remained silent. I wasn't expecting her to say much, but I was here to tell her my side of the story so that was what I was going to do. "The way you found out about Jason and I was totally unacceptable and I'm sorry about that. I hate that you found out that way. Believe me when I say that Jason and I were ready to tell you, we were just waiting for the right moment when we were all together. But with everyone working and everyone being so busy it was impossible to find a time when everyone was available. But that's not an excuse, I am so sorry. I can see why you were so hurt over this. Jason was too. He feels like he's lost his sister and I don't want to be held responsible for that. I'll leave him if I have to but please don't let Jason out of your life. He is your brother. He is your family. Nothing and no one should come in the way of that, not even me"
Liz didn't even give me a glance, just stared straight ahead of her, I continued regardless "I hate the thought of you not being in my life, but I understand what I did was hurtful and unforgivable. As your best friend I should never have made you feel that way. So, I understand if you never want to see me again, but please don't take this out on Jason. He's hurting just as much as you are. He just wants to see you happy and wants his sister back. Please speak to him and see what he has to say"
Liz didn't show any emotion on her face, so I couldn't tell what she was thinking at this moment. "It was hard for me to keep your secret from Jason. There were so many times that I wanted to tell him but had to remember it was your secret to tell. I just wanted him to see how happy you were and hope that you could see how happy I was with Jason. We didn't intend for this to happen, but it did. Edinburgh worked its magic on us and made me realise how much I loved Jason as more than a friend. I just wish I had my best friend to speak to about this, but I understand if you no longer want me in your life" I said, a lump forming in my throat. "There is so much more of the story to tell you, but I'll leave that for Jason to tell"
I sighed wondering if there was anything else that I wanted to get off my chest before I left. This could have been the last time I ever spoke to her. I hated that thought but I needed her to know everything before I left her house and potentially out of her life for good.
"As for Max, well, apparently there was a bust up that night at the club and Jason was defending me. From then on Max had an issue with Jason and when I told him I was going on a work trip with him he totally freaked out. That's why I had to break up with him. Please know that Jason is a great guy and I love him so much and I hate seeing him hurt. Please speak to him if not for my sake then his. I never wanted to come in between you two, that was never my intention. I would leave Jason's life if that meant you still had a relationship with your brother. I'd never want to be responsible for breaking that bond between you guys."
I hated the thought of not being a part of Jason's life but if that meant that Liz would speak to her brother again then I would do it in a heartbeat. I didn't have any siblings so I didn't know how strong a sibling bond could be, but seeing Liz and Jason together, seeing how they made each other laugh, cry and smile, how they knew each other inside out, how they would tease each other, how they would defend each other, how they would fight each other and fight for each other, their bond was unbreakable. I didn't want to be the one responsible for breaking that.
I didn't know what else to say. I couldn't. Not without breaking down into tears. So, I got up, not looking at Liz for the fear of crying in front of her and was about to walk out when I remembered something. "Oh, I almost forgot". I took out her Christmas present out of my bag and laid it down beside her "Merry Christmas"
I headed back into the kitchen and left my present for Jason on the kitchen table. At least they would have their presents, just in case I never saw them again. A stray tear slid down my face and I knew then that I had to leave before anyone saw me cry, before I saw Jason and no longer had the strength to leave.
So, I walked out of there, my future uncertain. But I hoped and I prayed more than anything that Jason would have his sister back.