Author's note:
This ff is based on Episode 386 of PS aired on July28,2020(ie. Today!).
Basically author ku too much gaandu seeing all of them sing Dhanam puranam; this is my way of venting it out! Please forgive me if this is worse than their dialogues itself because I just saw the episode and started writing this kaaviyam!! Nandri vanakkam!
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"NO! NEVER! NAHIIIII!"
This wasn't what she expected to see; she always had dreamt everyday was going to be Karthigai, with high hopes- as high as the sky, Vaanathai pola kanavugal; she always knew people in her family a huge vast heart like the samuthiram; she would always advice everyone "Koodi vaazhndhaal kodi Nanmai" ; she hoped there was non-stop Anandham in the family! She always reinforced the joint family concept Pandian Stores family was a fresh concept. But- this wasn't what she expected to see!
When the entire world has become a battlefield is battling against Covid19, she never expected their living room to turn into one! What felt like an eternity but actually 3 days in reality, Dhanam walked in with her face masked to see her 2 brothers in law and favorite cosister shooting daggers at each other. Kanna was standing on top of a stool with a notepad in his hand, while the other cosister stood holding her cute little bump leaning against the farthest pillar rolling her eyes!Lakshmi Amma was seated on her wheel chair with tears flowing down, next to Meena.
L Amma: "Indha kudumbam piriyave kudadhu nu Dhanam ozhachadhulaam ipadi avalaalaye veena poche!"
Meena decided to tune into her mind-voice channel for the entire episode as she believed any actual talking would only go unnoticed by this audience!
Jeeva: "Namma Kunnakudi oda Ambani Janardhanan ponna kattinavan naan! Avanga veetla virundhu saaptu vandhu, adhu serichu epam vidardhuku minaadiye vaai koosama Anni oda idly sambar mari varaadhu nu sonavan! Enaku dhaan anni mela paasam jaasthi!"
Mind-voice Meena: "Apdiya sangadhi! Nee ulla vaa da! inniku unna kaima idly panitu dhaan maru velai!"
Kathir: "Ada po nne! Naanum dhaan epoyume Anni samayala pugazhuven! Neeyavadhu un mamanar veetla kai nanachutu apdi sonna; naan kaiyya nanaikaamale iruken- en? Anni samayal thavara vera edhum en vayathukulla poida kudadha nu dhan! Enaku dhaan anni mela paasam jaasthi!"
Mullai: "Hah! ungala laam paatha enaku siripu dhaan varudhu! Neenga solra samayal la 50% en kai pakkuvamum iruku! Aana samayal aagaradhuku minadiye akka samayal na akka samayal dhaan nu kitchen laye jalra podurava naandhaan! Akka mela enaku dhaan paasam jaasthi!"
"Jing-Chak" signalled Kanna; "Ok, Samayal-Samayal round mudivukku vandhadhu; Next round Kuva-Kuva... seri Jeeva anne, start music!"
J: "Kuva kuva va.. ena da suddena indha topic aa kuduthutavan! Enna solalaam!.... Haaan.. ipo paaru en aatatha!
Engaluku porakka pora papa..."
MV Me: "Adei Jeeva, andha papa va anni ye valakatum nu matum sonna, Naa Kunnakudi Antilia* ku ipove nadaya katiduven da!"
J: "... papa ku inum per mudivu pannala. Ipo naa mudivu paniten!"
MV Me: "Ivan epo mudivu pannan? Jashwanth and Miya nu naama dhaana solanum nu wait panitu irukom!"
Kanna: "Edhu?!?! Pandian/Pandeeswari dhaane! Idha dhaan nethike Meena annikita solanum nu pesitu irundhiye nne! Idhukum Dhanam annikum ena samandham!?"
J: "Dei iru da.. adhu vera vaai! Papa oda per aa mathiten- Payyan porandha DHANAsekar, Ponnu porandha DHANAshree... ipo sollu, enaku dhaane anni mela adhiga paasam?!"
MV Me: "Enadhuuuuuu.. Dhanamaa... enadhu... Kaima idly ila da; iniku kothu parotta dhaan unaku! Idhuku andha Pandian Pandeeswari ke ok solirpene naanu!"
K: "Kuva kuva ku en badhil- Jeeva anne per dhaan vekkum.. aana.. Dhanam anni oda andha KOZHANDHAYE NAAN DHAAN! Ipo solunga, enaku dhaane anni mela adhiga paasam!?"
MV Me: "Ivaru avangalku kozhandha na, namma athai enna tomato thokka?!"
M: "Pesiyaacha rendu perum. Neenga rendu perum ipadi panardhunaala akka ku ena laabam? Naa akka ku seekrama papa porakanum nu saami kita dhenamum vendikaren! Adhunala kuva kuva round ku naa oruthi dhaan arthamulla badhil soliruken. Enaku dhaan akka mela paasam jaasthi!"
MV Me: "Indha nimisham ivanga ammavo athaachiyo entry kudutha APDI irkum! Enatha panna! Lockdown la enga varaporaang avanga!"
"Jing-Chak" Kanna noted something down on his notepad in silence while the only sound in the room was Lakshmi amma's sniffles.
Kanna: "Ok, adutha round Veetuku veedu! Adhaavadhu, ipo nama Dhanam anni inga vandha nama veedu epdi irundhudhu nu ena soluveenga Hmm aarambiyungal!"
Jeeva: "Anni, neenga illama indha veetula yaarukum Kaiyum odala Kaalum odala anni!"
MV Me: "En da, Veetula lockdown la okaandhurukom! Edhuku da kaiyum kaalum odanum?! Ivan build up ku oru alave illa!"
Kathir: "Anni...." <Emotional PS BGM starts>
Dancer K in a thought cloud : "Adei, nee inum thirundhalaya da!!" and Kathir just zones him out of his brain to continue...
Kathir: "... anni...neenga illama indha veede veedu madhiri illa anni!"
MV Me: "Mkmm.. indha manushan veetla irukardha vida kadai la dhaan jaasthi irupaaru. Ivaru idha pathi pesave kudadhu! Hmmm.. idha velila enga sola mudiyum. MV la ye solikavendidhaan!"
Mullai: "Akka, indhamari inime veetla thaniya vitutu pogadheenga ka! Indha veedu naa neenga dhaan, Neenga dhaan indha veedu!"
MV Me: "Kevalama irku indha dialogue, indha kannan idhuku prize kuduthaan naa avana kolapaniduven!" and she says "Jing Chak out loud"
M: "Ennanga, naa jalra podren nu solreegala?!"
Meena: "Ayo.. ila ila... Round mudinjudhu nu Kanna solvaane.. naama indha vaati solvome nu soliten! hehehe"
MV Me: "Nala vela samaalicha d Meena.. sabba!"
Kanna looks at Meena doubtfully and then turns towards the contestants!! "Ok,. very good.. moonu roundun mudinjudhu! Ipo final tie-breaker. Adhukum readya irukaan indha Kannan!.. Naa ready neenga readya?!!"
All 3 reply "Readyyyy!" excitedly while Meena hits her forehead. Lakshmi amma couldnt stand any longer- "Kanna, enna ulla kootitu po da! Indhamari poti la oruthar jeika mathavanga thokardha ennaala paaka mudila da!"
Finally everyone is ready for the much awaited (?!) tie-breaker!
Kanna: "Elaarkum oru jalra vechurken. Idhu oru rapid fire round! Adhaavadhu- elaarkum puriyara mari solren- naa Dhanam anni pathi kelvi kepen; yaaruku badhil theriyumo odane jaalra podanum- apo avangalku badhil solla chance. Seri, elaam jalra va kaila vechutu readya irunga! Aaramikalama?!
Dhanam anni oda chain yaar avangaluku kuduthadhu?"
Jing chak!
Mullai: "Avuga Paati!"
Ka: "Correct answer. Dhanam anni oda annan peru enna?"
Jing Chak!
Jeeva: "Jega mama"
Ka: "Thappu"
Jing Chak!
Kathir: "Jegannathan"
Ka: "Correct answer- Jeeva Anne, theliva muzhu per solanum! Dhanam anni ethana varusham kazhichu avanga veetuku poi thangirkaanga"
Jing Chak!
Kathir: 15
Ka: "Correct! Dhanam anni Dosai ootha thayangra mari vera enna samaika thayanguvaanga"
Jing Chak!
Jeeva: "Chapathi"
MV Me: "Naama polambinadhu nyabagam vechurukkan pola!"
Ka: "Correct! Dhanam anni oda punch dialogue enna?"
Jing Chak!
M: "Kudumbam pirinjudum mama!"
Ka: "Super! Dhanam anni oda strenght and weakness enna?"
2 Jing Chaks at same time!
Kathir and Jeeva: "Naamadhaan!"
MV Me: "Enna oru othuma! Thu!"
Ka: "Ennayum sethukonha anne! Superu! Dhanam anni kodaikanal trip la yaaru romance aa jaasthi keduthaanga?"
Meena yells Jing Chak to say she was the main victim and screams when she felt an arm on her shoulder!
K,J,Ka: "Anniiiii"
M: "Akkaaaaaa"
Dhanam: "Enna da idhellam! Enna nadakudhu inga! Ungalaala epdi idhellam mudiyudhu?! Naa iladhapo epdi ipdilaam pannalam?! Enmela yaarku paasam jaasthi nu potiya? Athai enga? Meena Juice saaptiya? Mullai un udambu ipo epdi iruku?! Kathiru nee kadailendhu epo vandha? Jeeva nee kadaiku polaya da? Un mask enga? Kanna, unaku online class laam mudinjudha? Mama enkudave vandhutu kadaiku poren nu ponaha? Ungalta phone pannara da jeeva?Moonu naal poitu vardhukula enalaam nadandhuchu? Mullai chithapa kelambitaara? Saaptu ponaara ilaya?!"
By the time Dhanam ended the questionnaire Kanna gave up being the game master and the contestants decided they cant answer even one question from Dhanam's rapid fire. They all just seal their mouth shut when Dhanam turns to Meena- "Aama, vayathula en kai aa azhuthi vechurka?! Papa ku valikapogudhu!!" she finally stops, smiles, shakes her head and walks in to check on her athai
MV Me: "Edhuku kai vechurkena?! Ithanerama inga nadandhuche oru koothu, adha thappithavari en papa ketuda kudadhu nu dhaan!" she thought to herself and went off to rest while the gamemaster and the contestants waited for tea from Dhanam after the conclusion-less gameshow!
THE END
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*Antilia is the name of Ambani's home in Mumbai!
Author's question- Who do you think would have won this gameshow 🤪🤪🤪 Please let me know in the comments 😄😄