Amber scrambled to sit upright. She desperately reached for her phone on the bed stand. She missed, and her device slid to the edge, toppling over. She grabbed it quickly, but the phone almost slipped from her clammy fingers. She juggled it with one hand, attempting to break its fall. She managed to toss it onto the bed, barely saving the already broken device.
"You should have said that earlier!" She wailed to MinJae, her voice pitching at the end with her panic. God. She was scared. She was nervous. She was anxious.
She turned her phone on, flipping the camera to check her appearance. Her lips were a little swollen from his kisses, and her cheeks a little red. Otherwise, she looked fine. Save for the messy bedhead that seemed to stay perpetually to her head, although the flower crown did help to hide some of the mess. She ran her fingers through her hair, brushing the strands into a neater position. The flowers parted at her touch, making way for her fingers.
"You look beautiful." MinJae soothed, gently smoothing out her hair.
She pursed her lips, chewing at the flesh nervously before she spoke. Her panic was making her extra talkative. "Do you think they will be mad at me?" She chewed on her lips, furrowing her brows.
"You're worried about them being angry?" MinJae gasped, raising a brow in question. Amber was a little miffed at how surprised he looked. Was it really that ridiculous? "Are you serious?"
"I did keep a very big secret for a very long time and played around with everyone's feelings." She reminded him and then groaned at the thought, slamming a palm to her head. "I'm such a fucking idiot."
Why did she have to go and do all that crap? Kiss not just one soulmate but three? Curse her horny body! She should have just kept it all in her panties and treated them all like friends before she announced the truth. Her soulmates were just too attractive, her eyes darted to MinJae. Yup, way too attractive. No, no. Those were just excuses. She was at fault. Her expression fell as she slapped her hand to her cheeks.
Damn it!
"Stop, stop." MinJae chuckled, taking her hand away from her head to rub her reddening forehead tenderly. "They are definitely not angry at you, at all. In fact, they are worried that you're angry at them."
His words shocked her and Amber looked at him, feeling a little confused. She could understand if JieMi or Ezra felt that way, having been absolute assholes to her, but all of them? That was a little too much, wasn't it? Oliver and Casper did absolutely nothing wrong!
"They are?" She furrowed her brows. He wasn't just saying that to make her feel better, right?
"Yeah, they think they could have had better control of the situation." MinJae replied with a quick nod. Then he sighed giving her a sad smile. " Personally, I was afraid that you would hate me."
"Hate is such a strong word." She said, shaking her head to his words. "Of course, I would never hate you. Any of you." She shot him a look. "I would never hate you."
"But, I wasn't exactly the nicest..."
"That's because you didn't know!" She told him vehemently. It wasn't really his fault. If anything, she was the one at fault, having made things worse. "I knew and I fucked up!"
"It's okay, I'm serious, Amber." He rubbed her back gently. "None of us blame you for the things you did."
"Really?" She pursed her lips together.
It was a tad difficult to believe, seeing how violently they reacted to the situation in the dormitory. Some part of Amber even considered the fact that they might decide that they didn't want her and thus form some kind of contingency plan to keep her by their side, just to ensure a stable soulmate bond, but out of their sight at all times. Then her mind reminded her of what she had overheard while she had pretended to be asleep in Sieon's arms. On a second thought, maybe MinJae was right.
She was just overreacting.
"Yeah, how could we?" He asked. "You did try to tell me. Clearly, that didn't go so well." A wry smile flickered over his lips, stretching the red flesh. Amber could tell that his smile didn't reach his eyes and he appeared a little pained by the memory of his own actions. "If anything, we blame ourselves. You shouldn't have had to face all these things on your own." MinJae let out a soft sigh, the huff of air making his shoulders droop further. "I'm sorry."
She really hated that word on him. He was usually sad when he did it and it made her sad, seeing him down in the dumps. It was still a really pretty expression on his beautiful face but nevertheless she didn't like the wetness of unshed tears or the downturn of his puffy lips. Amber really much preferred his bright smiles and gorgeous laughters.
"I've already forgiven you, dummy" She sighed, giving him a playful shove. "Stop saying sorry."
"Oh, sorry."
"MinJae..." She warned, faking a stern look.
He laughed, drawing her close to his body as he snuggled into her. He practically squished her, pressing her face into his hot, hard chest as he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck. She would be fine with it if not for the fact that his pectoral muscles were blocking all her airways and she had to struggle free for him to let go.
"I'm just thankful that you're here with me, in my arms," He pressed another cute kiss to her hair, after she managed to escape his suffocating bear hug. She inhaled deeply, finally free from his hold. "Relatively healthy?" He shrugged, giving her the universal facial expression of 'somewhat'.
She smiled, letting out a soft snort of laughter. "You almost suffocated me."
He stuck out his tongue in response, playing with her hair as he spoke. "I've waited too long for you, and right now I feel so, so lucky to have you." His eyes glinted as he spoke, and they shimmered with his emotions. "It's not just me. All of us, we've always longed for our soulmate, so I'm sure they feel the same way. " He grinned. "We talk about it all the time."
"Really?" She raised a brow as her voice dropped into a small murmur. "About what?" His words struck a chord in her and she sobered as her mind swirled towards her insecurities. They probably talked about having a soulmate each. Probably about a life with children and a single person by their side. A life unlike the one she would be providing them with.
"Hm? Things we would do." He paused, deep in thought, his eyes a little far away at the memory.
Her body turned cold, her muscles clamping stiffly at his words. She bit her lips. It was useless, maybe even detrimental for her to keep these fears inside so she decided to voice them out to him. "Things that don't involve sharing." She said solemnly, echoing his words. He froze, turning to look at her with a soft tick in his brow.
"I won't lie to you. This isn't what I envisioned." He said and her heart fell with his words, shrinking into a ball of sadness. He was quick with his words, continuing on before she had a chance to even consider closing down the barriers to her heart. "But that doesn't mean I don't like it." He told her, his voice carefully soft.
"You're lying." She snorted. "What man would want to share his girl?" The reaction he gave her was surprising, in fact the flicker of truth and honesty that blossomed across his face shocked her. He immediately shook his head, his eyes wide as he spoke.
"Nope. I like this arrangement." He told her nodding viciously. His fluffy hair bouncing at the force of each nod. She gave him a funny look. "I'm serious." She stared back at him, confused. "I've stayed with them for years. Since I was a trainee up till now we've never gone without seeing one another longer than 2 weeks. We're all best friends." He giggled, rubbing his cheeks. "In fact we dreaded leaving one another after all this idol business ends, we wanted to continue staying together."
"Even with a soulmate each?" She asked.
"Oh, now that was a problem. We talked about living together as neighbours." He explained. "Anyway, don't worry about that. Believe me. If you want to be logical about it, it's very simple. It's either no soulmate or share a soulmate with your best friends. Which would you pick? Personally, I think the answer is very obvious. "
It was. She would have picked the same if she were tied to a soulmate with Miri. Amber would not mind sharing with her best friend, in fact it might even make things better. While more people might promise more issues with living arrangements, more people could also mean greater financial security, better social interaction and even more love. It would be like living with a big family.
"But..." She swallowed thickly. Her mind flickering to that one soulmate who confused her the most. "JieMi..." At her words, MinJae's expression twisted, flickering with his own pain and uncertainty. There was a tick in his brow that told her he too was frustrated at the actions of her youngest soulmate. He held her closer, gently rubbing her back in an attempt to sooth her.
"Don't worry about him, okay? He's-" MinJae pursed his lips contemplating on what to say. "-a little confused. A little trapped. " Amber was surprised at his choice of words. Although she didn't know what to make out of it. "Either way, you have me, okay? I promise to stay with you no matter what. So just focus on getting better, okay?"
She went quiet at his words, laying against his chest as he played with the flowers in her hair. His words warmed her, her heart spilling with dollops of gold that flowed between their touch. She swallowed, feeling the prick of tears burn at the back of her throat. "You're sure?" She asked, her voice small.