The coffee served in the Game Crown Arcade had always helped Mamoru to set his focus in life. This unique friendship he shared with Motoki gave him confidence and truly a certain kind of hope for this life.
This time though, it was fairly different to their usual meet ups. Particularly, since a little light grey cat was involved into this chat and his best friend turned out to be his brother in a past life.
From an outer perspective, everything was upside down but somehow it's made sense now to Mamoru.
He and Diana had filled up Motoki with all the information concerning the future developments until Mamoru's Star Seed was taken. They even didn't leave out the fact that his girlfriend Reika was supposed to be a Rainbow Crystal carrier and would transform into some sort of a monster pretty soon.
Motoki remained silent for a while but finally confessed that he had always felt a certain power surrounding Reika and was relieved that everything would turn out to the good in terms of her wealth and their relationship.
The group had agreed that Motoki would do his very best to keep everything as it is in his timeline concerning Mamoru and Usagi and would go on supporting them the best he could, not to bump into his past self any longer.
"It would be a disaster if you'd meet your past self since it really is a tricky thing, manipulating memories for Star Seed carriers, particularly in your case. All these brainwashed things you have been through...or would have to face from my timelines point of view wouldn't be helpful for your poor memory."
Motoki said worriedly and gave his best friend a thoughtful drunken look.
"Right, so that's sorted." Diana remarked and added "I think we should go on with our plan of creating a shield around the little red haired girl with the help of Artemis T in order to protect her against the villains from the Dark Kingdom."
Mamoru was pleased with the strategy so far he had discussed with his allies. He was still optimistic to get the requested Star Seed when he came back from the arcade and passed through the front door of the Tsukino house. He found Usagi sitting together with the toddler in the living room, playing with little Sailor Moon dolls.
When he stopped and leaned against the frame of the door, Usagi lifted her head and met eyes with him. She looked so different with her disguised mature body but Mamoru was still fascinated by her sky blue eyes which couldn't be changed by magic and thus showed the innocent teenager girl she really was.
"I've found Kousagi in the arcade." She declared with a dry voice. "I also met your past self there...you are such an incredible awful jerk, you know that, don't you?"
Mamoru could only smirk on her statement and replied nonchalantly "If I remember correctly, you used to give me a tough time either."
Usagi pouted and fired back, still annoyed of his behavior towards her in this time
"Life is tough but so are you."
Mamoru gave her a sincere smile, took a few steps closer and settled next to her on the ground, watching the toddler cheerfully playing with a Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen doll, totally sunken in her game and absolutely unimpressed by what was been talked around her.
"I know it's not easy for you Usako. It must be pretty hard playing the super hero by night, being an ordinary school girl outside this house and acting as a married mother at home. I really do appreciate that you do all this and I can't take back all the insults I've done to you in this time but you can be sure...that I do love you with any part of me and I will try my best to accomplish my mission so you can go back to your ordinary life as soon as possible."
"Ordinary life!"
She echoed, carrying a huge portion of sarcasm in her voice.
"I wish I could have my normal life back sometimes." She continued with a small voice now, her gaze a little forlorn, starring through the room. "I am totally frightened because of the fact that my best friend is in love with one of our enemies...Nephrite...and I don't have a clue what I shall do now."
This was a topic Mamoru honestly wanted to avoid as it could change happenings of the past if he would get involved into it. Fortunately an idea came up in his mind and he gave Usagi a warm smile in return. She was so selfless by caring the most for her friends.
"I think I know someone who could give you an advice...why don't you ask Motoki? He is a very good person to talk to."
Now Usagi was a little shocked because of his suggestion and her head turned a couple of nuances into a deeper shade of red when she confessed silently.
"Well, I don't know if we ever have talked about this in your time...but I have a some sort of...crush on him."
Her confession resulted into a huge burst out of laughter for Mamoru and while he was wiping away his tears, he explained to his quite astonished future fiancée.
"Don't worry at all, its okay Usako. I should have known that my time travel has a lot of things in place for you which you don't take into account in the first place. Just go and ask him, I don't mind at all...frankly speaking, it was - or better - is more than obvious that you adore Motoki."
Usagi was still puzzled but decided to do as suggested. As soon as she had left, Mamoru took the time without having her around and transformed Artemis T into some sort of a shield which was able to absorb the little girls energy and thus made her invisible for the enemy.
Diana and Mamoru were still unsure how to extract the Star Seed and also didn't know how to provoke bump ins between Usagi and past-Mamoru in order to trigger it to appear but decided to stay patient and watched the little girl for the time being.
It worked very well for a few weeks. Same with the living together with the Tsukino family. Mamoru was even able to pick up his study when Diana promised to babysit little Kousagi. Everything was great and looked like a normal life.
Apart from Usagis mood.
A lot had happened after she had decided to confront Naru with the dark side of the men her best friend fell for:
Nephrite died when he tried to protect Naru and she almost seemed not being able to recover from this huge lost. A frightening parallel for Mamoru as Usagi would probably face the same situation in the future.
What if he couldn't bring Galaxia's Star Seed back to his time? This problem caused him nightmares regularly and he was more than relieved when he woke up in the nights and found Usagi being at his side, breathing evenly and sleeping like an angel. A situation he got used to quickly and definitely didn't want to change.
He was actually a super hero all through and had never hesitated to sacrifice for the one he loved, for this planet, for everything he stood for. However, carrying not his own Star Seed had changed Mamoru in such a way, that he hardly could resist living the life he was currently captured in...and which he wanted to keep more than anything else.
"It is the wrong choice."
Diana kept telling her mantra and tried to encourage him to think differently whilst she was with Mamoru and Kousagi in their bedroom, entering the lastest information into her computer concerning the developments around the appearance of Sailor Jupiter.
"You know that everyone relies on our success and we aren't allowed to fail. That's no option at all."
"I know Diana, I know this...but I can't help it. We haven't found a way to extract the Star Seed, neither the enemy is behind Kousagi. We are stuck in this time and I just want to make the best out of it...since I don't know if I can live after this..."
"Royal Highness, THIS is not your reality!"
The feline looked up from the screen and replied harshly to him, desperately trying to convince Mamoru that he should focus on their mission.
His eyes denied the truth, he didn't want to admit what had been so obvious. With a long gaze he gave the toddler who was busy clapping her hands in utter excitement, he asked Diana, trying to hold his temper.
"Why can't I be happy? You know that I'm dead where I come from, so why can't I enjoy now what I always strived for? This feels so good, it is the best I've ever experienced in my whole life."
"Before we traveled to the past, I said that I will protect you...even if it's against yourself. Prince Endymion, this is neither the time, nor the situation you are supposed to be in. This never had been anything else but an excuse to find the Light of Hope."
„An excuse?!"
Now Mamoru was furious.
"This means everything to me. Everything! And I will not give up on this so easily!"
Before Diana could continue, they heard a silent knock on the door. Both turned around and the little red haired girl ran cheerfully over to Usagi who was just about to come into the room, having an unreadable expression on her face.
Mamoru wasn't sure if she had eavesdropped the discussion he had with Diana the same as the time when they argued in the kitchen.
"Is everything okay?" He just said and found the answer straight in her eyes. Usagi fumbled out of her skirt pocket a shiny golden gem Mamoru instantly identified as the star locket.
He froze.
"I've found it at the cemetery...it looks exactly the same as the one you have, Mamoru."
Mamoru knew that not telling every part of the truth to Usagi could cause a huge chaos but he wasn't prepared that she would find out his secret identity like that. There was no way to deny any further what was more than obvious.
"Yes...it does..."
"So...you...are..." her voice died when she saw him nodding to confirm her assumption.
Usagi breathed in sharply and looked at him
With wide eyes.
"But you said that you are Moonlight Knight! You can't be him...this is not possible...just..just who are you really?!"
Usagi didn't meant the last bit as a question but just became blatantly absolutely insecure if Mamoru was a trustable person.
"Usako...please...there is a good reason why I can't tell you everything." He was desperately looking for an explanation to calm her when she hissed back
"I think that's not the only lie you've told me...seriously, be honest now or get out of my life!!"
"Usagi love, Mamoru! Come downstairs, dinner is ready!"
Both heard Ikuko calling out for them and the blonde shouted back automatically, still keeping eye contact with Mamoru."
"We are coming!" - this Sir, isn't over. We'll talk after dinner...I am starving!" She said to Mamoru with a warning tone in her voice.
While they were gathered around the table, Usagi behaved to her parents and Shingo as if everything would be normal. However, Mamoru knew that all this confusion he recognized in her eyes, hidden by a mask of faked happiness, was caused by him and this stupid idea to stay with the Tsukinos.
The exhausting three lifes Usagi currently had to cope with, added with the fact that she was more than messed up concerning her love life, led Mamoru admit that this was nothing he wanted Usagi to go through any longer.
Slowly but gradually Mamoru was about to make a decision. He couldn't let Usagi go on with this chaos he had caused. He remembered Diana saying that erasing memories wouldn't have any effect on the Sailor Senshi.
Maybe Diana was right. Maybe it was time to say goodbye to the life he had started to love so much. Maybe it was time to let Usagi go.
When dinner was finished and everybody made themselves comfortable in the living room, Mamoru settled next to Usagi on the ground. While he was watching their fake daughter playing with the Sailor Moon dolls again, he silently spoke to his disguised fiancée.
"Please don't be mad at me for not telling you the whole truth...if you like I can explain everything later upstairs."
Usagi gave him a long look in return and finally uttered under her breath
"You know...I think I have actually knowing for a while that you are Tuxedo Kamen-Sama...perhaps my little teenager heart denied it until today since I feel that I am falling for...your past self...sorry if that makes no sense at all to you." With an apologetic smile on her face she continued "you are obviously my future...but I don't feel for you the same as I do for Mamoru-Baka...it is sooo weird."
"No, it's not Usako. I guess I can understand what you mean...and that's how it is supposed to be I think...I -" Mamoru wasn't able to end the sentence as all of a sudden a storm of cherry leafs appeared into the living room, right in front of the little red haired girl.
Mamoru froze when he recognized no one else but Zoisite casually stepping out of the pink twirl. This was so much not what they had planned when they covered the toddler with Artemis T as a shield against the enemy but this protection had become complete useless once he recognized that Kousagi was playing with the magical white cat face ball in one hand and with...Usagi's transformation brooch in the other.
There was a battle coming up and Mamoru was very aware of that their chances to win this fight without any magical powers were close to zero.