The comb raked through her strands with the delicacy of a mother's touch.
The walls of the restroom were a stark white, and the light that filled it bloomed across the paint, battling with the grey of the morning storm clouds that dampened the atmosphere through its many large windows. The tub was a claw tooth, old and antique with its cool white surface, though a beautiful accent to the quiet restroom. A large mirror sat above the sink, covered by a warm fleece blanket, tucked around its edges. Scarlet sat sideways on the closed toilet seat, allowing Merula to brush through her thick and matted hair. The land had not been kind to the girl, rolling in mud and leaves had dirtied it from the clean state her Mate had put it in days prior. She wet a brush and dragged it through the strands, running it frequently under the water and using a hand towel to clean the dirt and leaves that came out of it. The splashing of the stream from the faucet echoed dimly through the tile room as Merula left it running on low.
Scarlet was embarrassed, her stomach churned and her already warm face felt hotter at the cheeks with shame. This was a stranger being kind enough to make her presentable to her pack of absolute strangers after her terrifying display. Cleaning her hair, wiping the grass and leaves from it, putting a cold washcloth in her hands to blot her swollen eyes with, she was being kind when she didn't need to be. When she had every right to hate Scaret as much as this pack already did. She sniffled, her crying slowing to a burning on her waterline and a warm nose, while pressing the damp cloth to her bleary eyes, hissing as a tangle tugged at her scalp. Merula was speaking to her every few moments, calming her with the song-like reverberation that hummed around the cold tile bathroom, but Scarlet didn't know a lot of what she spoke about.
She was talking about the land, naming the trees and mountains, describing formations she had never heard of before. She wanted to follow, to understand, but her brain couldn't conjure an image to a lot of it, and she was lost in the ocean that was her voice. It was deep, but soft, and her fingers were thin but strong as they parted a new section of her hair.
"The whales come this time of year, they are beautiful to watch. They travel with their pod to the same spot, and we all take our time throughout the winter season to go and stand in the water. To feel their peace and their power." They sounded beautiful, but Scarlet didn't know what a whale was.
"I've got all your tangles worked out," she spoke happily as she set the wet brush on the counter, running a hand through her now fuzzy hair.
She reached across to the left hand side of the sink and daintily wrapped her fingers around the handle of a marbled white and brown comb. It was shiny and smooth, and it's broad teeth were long in length. She ran that, as well, under the water, along with her other hand and dragged her wet fingers through Scarlets hair. The comb wasn't as painful as the brush and Scarlet was thankful the tugging of her scalp was done.
"This comb is made from whale bone, our pack many decades ago hunted whales for food. They never wasted, not even the bones, so they would make items out of them to honor the long life of the animal." Scarlet simply listened, trying to imagine what a whale would look like.
She was afraid to ask, to open her mouth and speak to this stranger that had been nothing but understanding and kind to her situation. She didn't know whether to trust it, to cling to the positive attention this woman brought, or to loathe it. To see it as a trap set up by an unknown territory, where she had undoubtedly attacked their Alpha. Was it a ploy, or was it honest? She thought it best to remain silent, instead, and listen to the names and creatures and lands this woman spoke about in the hushed whispers that echoed off the white tiles decorating the bathroom. She could only remember Malkún, she could only remember her pain and servitude, it had been her whole life, and though she wasn't physically standing on their earth she felt as if she still was; as if it was hardwired in her DNA to be subservient and weak.
Her attack from Apollo continued to violently control the thoughts and actions her mind was slowly trying to process, pulling her from the very moments in time she would have been present and forcing her to re-live it through her minds eye with no way to call for help. She could feel her vision blur as she fell backwards into the folds of her brain, the fog of memories coating her tongue and the taste of blood blooming as a fragrant wine in her mouth. She could smell those orange blossoms, she could hear the lock of the door scream as the rusty latch was turned to open in that dark, dark, room. The creek of the door as he pushed it with so little of his strength, the way his shoes stumbled and scraped against the rocks she lay on, the smell of alcohol slithering it's way around her cowering body, Scarlet could feel the fear claw its way from her abdomen and up her throat.
Merula knocked against her shoulder accidentally, and the young woman gasped. Her vision snapped from its blur and she felt her soul return to the present moment and settle in her chest. The smell of orange blossoms slowly dissipated from the room, and Merula couldn't figure out where it had come from, there had been no one walking by to carry that scent, and it clung to the air like fog, thick and sickening. She stared at the door for a moment longer, straining her ears to see if she had missed the sounds of an incoming visitor, but it was silent. It was still early in the large pack house, she was certain they still had time to prepare before anyone woke up. Turning back, Merula couldn't help but notice the new tremble that had begun in Scarlets shoulders, her wet hair shook lightly with the force of her newfound fear and Merula felt sorrow bloom in her chest.
She had spoken to her softly for so long, and worked so methodically on her hair, she felt victorious as she slowly melted from her stiff state and relaxed under Merulas touch. It had been a few seconds in time for a strangers smell to enter their room and she was back to a frightened girl. She didn't want to draw attention to it, she stifled her sigh and brought her comb back through Scarlets hair.
"It was my mother's, she passed it down to me as I intend to pass it down to my family."
She began speaking softly to the young woman in hopes of helping her return to the state they had just managed to achieve. She continued to tell the tale of how her father gave it to her mother as a gift when they discovered they were mates, to show his intention of a long and happy life together filled with happy children they could bless with this item too. Her father had passed when Merula was a child, and her mother a few years after that, so she was the sole beneficiary to their heirloom. She loved it with all her heart, and it brought back her most peaceful memories of her mother's rich leather and spruce scent as she combed through her hair to braid it in intricate designs before she left for training. She wanted to ask Scarlet if she would like a braid, but she didn't want to push the poor girl with the unknown, especially as Merula was still a stranger to her.
"Your hair is finished, and very beautiful might I add." Scarlet snapped back from her memories, all to aware to the muted feeling of her wet hair hanging down her back despite the blanket she wore protecting her from the water.
It was longer than she remembered.
She nodded her thanks, and tightened her grip on the warm fabric that felt so snug and comforting against her back and shoulders. She could remember the feeling of the thin and worn sheet she owned in Malkún, and what it felt like to lay on her children's sized mattress where the coils dug into her back and ribs. That window in her room that let in so much cold air in the winter season, the smell of the dusty attic she resided in. The blanket that covered her nude body felt very warm, and she felt scared to take comfort in it, was it bad that she enjoyed having it wrapped around her shoulders? Should she not feel secure in it, should she return it? It wasn't hers, and she felt a deep discomfort settle in her stomach as she approached a situation she hadn't come to before, no one in Malkún had ever given her anything. She didn't know how to behave in this instance, and the longer her mind mulled over what her next step should be the more anxious she became.
Her discomfort lead her to shrug it from her shoulders, where moments ago she felt so far from the present and trapped within the memories of her mind, now she felt too present. The sound of Merula's steady heartbeat was a hammer that grew louder and louder as the seconds ticked by, her breathing like sanding paper against her ears. Scarlet could feel herself becoming more and more overwhelmed, the fading scent of orange blossoms drowning her as the slow stream of the sink grew to the thunder of a waterfall. The blanket fell behind her and Scarlets cold, wet, hair could be felt against areas of her back and shoulders, but for the most part she couldn't feel a lot of it. She could remember the state of her marred and leathery skin that shone so newly healed in the light of the mirror. That bathing room, filled with a large tub and decorative curtains, tiles and stark white accents, had been beautiful, and seeing herself in that mirror had made her feel more than ugly.
There wasn't a word for it, a word to describe how she felt when she saw herself.
It was just pain.
Like seeing someone you had known your whole life fall from the light you used to see them in. Scarlet never viewed herself as more than a servant, she didn't appreciate her features in the passing mirrors she cleaned in Malkún, or her warped reflection in cookware, she simply saw a woman who looked more than too thin. She simply saw bruises and sad eyes staring back. Scarlet hadn't seen herself as a person, she saw herself as a fixture in that pack house, a ghost who should remain along the shadows of the walls, and out of the livings way. Though in that mirror, the detachment she had felt for so long from the world, had snapped and she was thrown back into her body, really seeing herself for the first time in so long, and she didn't recognize the person looking back.
And it was terrifying, horrifying, deafening all at once. She could feel her skin tremble with shock when she lay in that tub, and the feeling of that blinding rage that trickled through her blood had poisoned her mind until all she longed for was death. Then her wolf, the beast that had been stamped down for so long they joked that Scarlet wasn't even a werewolf, saw its opportunity. The cold terror lifted the hairs on Scarlets arms as the fresh experience of being trapped in a dark existence rolled through her mind again. The feeling of not having a voice, having no ability to call for help or move to safety, to freedom. She had been trapped in the mind of a murderous beast who wanted nothing more that to mutilate any creature around her.
Her goosebumps spread across her body as she sucked in a deep breath, her nipples erecting as a cold fear spread across her skin and she finally remembered she was no longer trapped in the prison of her wolfs control. The damp cloth she had been using to blot her swollen eyes plopped to the floor as she turned to look at Merula, Scarlets breathing was heavy as she felt more now than ever she was going crazy. She couldn't escape the path of her brain, it kept pulling her too and fro, from one tragedy to another. She was a slave to its travels and she could feel the tears well along her waterline as she felt that chill leave her body, a chill so similar to the isolation and helplessness she had felt while her wolf had control.
Scarlet held no control.
"Breathe." Merula instructed.
Scarlet hadn't realized she had been holding her breath to keep the tears at bay until she exhaled and the tightness in her chest decreased, the heavy swells of water cascaded down her cheeks.
"We will give you your time, Scarlet. We will let you process and recover and heal here, please, we just need to insure that pack will let you." Scarlet nodded numbly, not necessarily ingesting the words Merula was saying, more so responding as to avoid backlash.
She needed to show her apologies to this pack, her Beast did something atrocious in attacking an Alpha and they would be out for her head. Though she didn't want a mate in any way, if she didn't want to be mauled by the people he led, she needed to do this. Her fear was strong, and she was sure Merula could smell it, but her self preservation after years of hardships was stronger- she knew how to bow her head and be quiet. And that was what she needed to do to gain her solitude, her much needed solitude. She, more than anything, wanted to sit in her over sized clearing and stare at her Giant Sequoias while she thought. Or maybe while she didn't think at all, it sounded like an amazing idea for Scarlet to sit with nature and just be, exist like the trees not bound to human flesh or the torture of memories.
Simply existing, simply breathing.
Her stomach turned and boiled as nervousness and fear built inside her chest and clawed its way down her veins, permeating her muscles with the illness. She could feel herself go tense, and Merulas sigh was only too audible, Scarlet bowed her head, her long hair falling over her shoulders and covering her chest from view.
"Let us get you dressed, Scarlet." Merula moved to turn off the tap, and Scarlets flinch made her heart drop.
The clothes were warm, a forest green long sleeve and a pair of comfortable grey leggings that were too large on the sickly girl. They would need to feed her and get her to a proper weight, her bones protruded from her skin as though they were trying to escape. Merula could see where the long sleeve caught on her clavicle, and she knew it would take time to get her to where she needed to be. But she would get there, Scarlet was showing Merula she was drowning, her unfocused gaze and the teeter-totter of being tense with fright, or quiet with questions was a battle warring within both of them. She wanted nothing more than to fix the girl, but that wasn't her job, that was Scarlets. Merula could only provide a reflecting pool, she could only be the person to help her interpret her traumas and work to overcome them. She didn't have the ability to touch her soul in the way she needed.
Scarlet could smell Orion before she heard his footsteps down the hall. She stared at the door with wide eyes and trembling hands as she reached for Merulas arms to steady herself. His scent was masculine, birch wood and leather, mixed with eucalyptus. Natural, but strong, and it filled up a room in seconds, she could see his feet in the shadows under the door and she was terrified to her core to see him the first time since her abortion. She hadn't wanted to be near him, she still didn't, her skin crawled with unease. She wasn't ready for another mate, she didn't want another male, and yet here she was, trapped in his home needing to make amends with his people. Bitterness touched at the corners of her tongue and Scarlet had to bow her head as a startling simmer of anger began a tremble of her upper lip. She could feel a growl begin to pull at the vocal chords resting so unused in her throat and she tightened her grip on Merulas arm as his footsteps came to a halt outside their door.
"Control your Wolf, Scarlet." Merula whispered, and Scarlets anger disappeared as quickly as it came.
This was her Beasts rage, it was poisoning her mind, controlling her thoughts. It wanted to trap her in the abyss it had left her in to die, but as she stood in shock, she didn't feel the poison coursing through her veins like it had before. It had to be her beast, didn't it?
His heavy hand knocked on the wood, but he was Were, and Scarlet knew it was only out if courtesy. Merula cleared her throat and the knob turned, his scent blew through the room full force and Scarlet hated the feeling of her nipples tightening and her hair raising in goosebumps across her flesh. It was primal, it was her biology- Scarlet knew this, and yet she resented her body still for having such an uncontrolled reaction, such an opposing reaction to the state of her thoughts.
"Is she ready? They are waiting." He kept his eyes on Merula, and Scarlet could feel the beds of her fingernails begin to tear as her nails lengthened into claws.
Her growl ripped from her chest, and her canines fell from her head with a pop, new teeth erupting from her gums, lengthening to points- Scarlet could feel her pupils blow and within a moment the uneasy calm she had built herself to was gone.
Hey guys, sorry for the long update time. To make it short, moving, school started again, and I just got out of the hospital.
I'm okay now, was not okay before haha.
Can't promise super frequent updates but I am already working on the next chapter as we speak, so fingers crossed sooner rather than later as I heal.
Still finishing this book before the end of the year no mater what