Chapter 3 ~ The Effect | Now |
I was still shaking as Landon led us to his car. Cameras flashed all around us. Normally, I liked cameras. Recently, they had begun to intimidate me. Now, though, it was almost like they weren’t even there. I was in my own world.
Except that I wasn’t.
With his cute proposal, Landon had brought me into his world.
And I knew that I wouldn’t be able to return to mine any time soon. We were surrounded by media personnel, who were spurting out questions the same way food spurted out of a blender if I didn’t close it correctly, but I couldn’t hear any of them at the moment.
It all sounded like an echo in my ears. The only things I could hear were the pumping of blood in my chest and my footsteps as I blindly followed Landon. Ironically, I had blindly followed Landon into this mess. He’d asked me to come, and I did.
But then he did this. He didn’t even ask me. I knew he was going to make it official. I knew it, but I never imagined he’d pull something like this. People did these sorts of things in movies, at the end, when the hero was convinced he was in love with the woman and was ready to declare it to the world. Then, they’d live happily ever after.
I felt like my story was just beginning, and this wasn’t a Hollywood drama. This was worse. This felt like chaos.
Then, I was in the car. The noises stopped, but I could still feel the rough thudding in my chest. Then, reality seemed to hit me. I was going to marry Landon. Landon Oliver. The Landon Oliver. Did things like this even happen?
“Sorry about that.” Landon said, a cheeky grin on his face. “Now, before you get mad—” He began to say, but I promptly cut him off.
“I’m already mad!” I exploded. “Shoot Landon. You could have at least warned me. I looked like an idiot out there. You should have told me you were planning to do that. I could have at least been prepared.”
“I didn’t want you to be prepared.” Landon explained, his smooth voice already having a calming effect on me. “I wanted to see your face as I sang you the song, Bambi. I wanted to see the surprise, the shock, everything.”
“You just wanted to entertain yourself.” I told him. “You told me you were going to hold a press conference. You planned that song out. You planned the whole thing.”
“We can still have a press conference if you want to have one.” Landon tried appeasing me. Tension etched over his features and I wanted to wipe the wrinkles off of his face. I shook my head. We weren’t even in a real relationship and we were already fighting like an old married couple.
“I don’t want a bloody press conference! I think your proposal was already outrageous enough.” I told him, crossing my arms. I couldn’t push his eyes out of my head, when he looked into mine and asked me to marry him. If I had been in a real relationship with him, I would have probably dropped my pants because of that expression. It had been completely magical.
“There was one thing missing, though.” He said, gently taking my hand in his. “I tried to make it perfect for you. Wasn’t that the kind of proposal you wanted? Isn’t that the kind of proposal every girl wants? For someone to ask her in front of the world?”
“What was missing?” I asked him, ignoring the last part of his question. Maybe other girls might want that kind of proposal, but not me. In fact, I never was an attention seeker and Landon should have known that. But maybe it was better this way. Now that he’d asked me in front of the world, everyone knew about it. He wrote a song over it.
“Ah!” He said, rubbing the palm of my hand as he stretched out the fingers. The nubs of his fingers were rough against my skin, probably because of all of his guitar playing. “You asked me a good question, Bambi. Hmm…what might be missing?” He tapped his chin thoughtfully with the other hand. “I know! An engagement present!”
My eyes widened as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a little box covered in navy blue velvet. “Landon…”
A ring?
“Wait.” He asked. Then, he opened a box and I was surprised to see a long chain. A necklace? “Bambi, I know I kind of forced you into this. I’m sorry, so this is my way of apologizing.”
I got a closer look at the necklace and my eyes widened all over again. Instead of a pendant attacked to the necklace, there was a ring attacked to it. “Why is it attached to the necklace?”
“Because,” He explained. “I know that you’re not ready for this kind of commitment, and I don’t want to force you into it. After the stunt I pulled today, I know you’re not entirely happy and I don’t want to put the ring on your finger, yet. But I do want you to always keep it with you. I want you to wear it around your neck. When you’re ready to be my real wife, I want you to wear it on your finger and I’ll know. Turn around.”
I did as he asked because I was truly speechless by his words. When his fingers touched my skin as he brushed my hair to the side, I jumped. “Sorry.” I apologized.
He didn’t respond. Instead, he just continued to push my hair aside, creating a tingling feeling in my chest. Then again, I always did like it when someone touched my hair. Then, I felt something cold against my chest and I looked down to see the ring being tied around my neck. The first thing I noticed was that it was gorgeous.
It wasn’t fancy, which I was sure Landon knew I appreciated. Instead, it was a simple ring with an exquisite diamond in the center of a platinum band. I knew it could have been silver. After all, I wasn’t a jeweler, but Landon didn’t go cheap on things, especially when it came to me. Even before he became a star, he always got me the best presents. The best everything. It was something we both understood. “I love it.” I told him, honestly.
He grinned back. “I knew you would.”
Just then, the car came to a stop by the building where Landon’s penthouse was in. It was given to him by the record label. Each of the boys had one, and they were all in the same building. Landon’s just happened to be on the top floor. I guess being the lead singer along with an actor had its perks. I supposed being his fiancé had some perks, too.
We rode up the elevator in silence. Once the doors opened on his floor, I stepped out. I turned to Landon with a smile. “I still can't get used to how amazing this place is.” I said with wide eyes. Compared to my own one bedroom apartment back home, this place was one step away from paradise, with its Jacuzzi and fancy interior design.
“The designer did a good job.” Landon agreed. “She’s a good one in L.A.”
“What’s her name?” I asked, curious.
“She goes by Verona. She was very…intriguing. I might have asked her out, but her boyfriend was a cop.” Landon said, seriously. For a long moment, I just stared. Then, a smile broke out on his face. “I’m just kidding. She wasn’t even my type.”
“Oh.” I said, plopping down on his futon. I watched him carefully as I posed my next question. “What is your type?”
“You’re anything but subtle.” Landon smirked. “But if you must know, I’ll tell you. My type is smart, funny, beautiful, and most importantly, sensible.”
“I guess you’ve probably run into a lot of bimbos in your line of work.” I suggested, hoping that he’d take the bait and give a response.
“Way too many, Bambi. Way too many.” He agreed.
“Is that why you’re settling for me?” I asked, knowing how serious the question was. Every time I thought about it, I tried to remind myself how important Landon was to me. He was a huge part of my life and without him, my life would feel empty. But he held the position of my best friend and seeing him as something more than that was hard, especially knowing that he didn’t see me as anything more than a friend.
He didn’t respond. Instead, he came up to me and sat down beside me on the seat. “Faline,” He began, immediately catching my attention. He never called me by my name, telling me that whatever he was going to say was going to be important. “I don’t want to force you into doing anything you don’t want to do. If you don’t want to marry me, just tell me. I think my ego can handle it.”
Then, he cracked a smile. His famous Landon smile that had girls swooning. I chuckled. “I don’t know.” I confessed. “I trust you. You know I trust you. It’s just…I came here to say hi because you asked me to and now we’re getting married. I haven’t even told anyone about, yet.”
His eyes widened. “If you haven’t told anyone about it, you better do it soon.” He said. “Tomorrow morning, everyone’s going to go crazy.”
“They probably already are.” I told him. “I haven’t turned on my phone, yet. They’ve probably already seen that thing from earlier.”
“Yeah, but that thing was different from a full blown proposal.” He then proceeded to pat my shoulder and make his way out of the room and into his music studio.
I closed my eyes. I could actually imagine living here with Landon. It wouldn’t be different from all those sleepovers we had as kids. What I was afraid of was that Landon would expect more from our marriage. Even if he didn’t, I was certainly scared that I would expect more, and that even more frightening. Just because I didn’t feel anything yet, didn’t mean I never would. Marriage caused attachment, didn’t it?
I could easily transfer my work to L.A. According to Landon, I wouldn’t need to. He could easily afford all of my expenses. I didn’t want him paying for me, though. I was already going crazy with all of his expensive presents.
The weird thing was that I wanted to marry Landon. I believed that the most important thing in a relationship was trust and the second most important thing was passion. While I didn’t feel passion for him, I trusted him and he was right about one thing. Who else could I trust enough to marry?
The soft tune of a guitar came out from Landon’s studio. I closed my eyes. I could certainly get used to this. Then, a smile broke out on my face when I recognized the tune. This had been the first song we’d made a cover on back before Landon got famous.
He wasn’t facing me as I entered the room, since he was entirely focused on his music. I smiled as I tried to connect the verses to the tune. I hadn’t heard this song in ages.
“Oh sweet leaf
How was it?
Hanging under stars
Feeling the wind
Knowing you’re safe
Clinging on to me”
“Oh sweet leaf
Why did you leave?
Why didn’t you stay?
How can I be your guardian angel
When you are away?”
I smiled as Landon cocked his head to the side and then joined me when I started the next set of lyrics.
“Oh dear father
Let me tell you
I loved to sway in the wind
Under the stars and moon
And sunrise gloom
Clinging on to you”
Landon chuckled as he stopped playing the guitar. He set it down, propped up against his gray wall. “Your voice is still as nice as I remember, Bambi. Maybe you should do a cover with me, again.” He suggested.
“Not happening.” I easily responded. “I’m not as good a singer as you are. I’ll sound bleak.”
“I don’t think so.” He disagreed. “But you’re right.” He added, completely changing the tone of his voice. “It’s probably better if we don’t do a cover. I might end up being the one who’ll sound bleak.”
“Right.” I rolled my eyes, before taking a seat on the piano bench. “This wasn’t here the last time I was here.” I remarked. “Besides, I thought you couldn’t play the piano.”
“I can’t.” He agreed. “This is for you.”
“For me?” I repeated, completely shocked. I turned around, slowly hitting the keys, relishing it as a thrill went through me with each ting. Satisfied, I turned around to face Landon with wide eyes. “You bought me a piano?”
“Not exactly. The piano’s mine. You can play it whenever you want, of course. You’re better at it than I am.” He admitted.
“This is only one day, you know?” I said, staring at the tips of my nails. This whole day, the feel of it, was all so surreal. “I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it if every day in your world will be the same way today was.”
“I’ll try to protect you from all of it. I know lots of celebrities whose wives and girlfriends manage to stay away from media light. Once all of this gets old, and they find something else to go after, they’ll stop bothering you.” Landon assured me.
“But then it won't stop until we get married.” I pointed out. “Even then, there will always be rumors about everything. I know what it’s like, Landon. I’ve seen things about you in the tabs that I couldn’t have ever guessed. They wrote stuff about drugs and stuff like that. But I knew it wasn’t true. I know you, but I don’t know what I’ll do if they start writing stuff about me. I’m not cut out for something like that.”
“Are you saying that you don’t want to do this, anymore? Have you thought about it more and changed your mind?” His voice was calm and gentle, but it held an underlying tension in it. I knew how complicated it would be for him if we suddenly called off our engagement after announcing it so publicly.
“I’m saying…don’t treat all of this like a favor. I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything. If anything, I probably owe you more than you owe me.” I told him, honestly. “You’re my best friend. You’ve been my best friend. Whenever I faced a challenge, you’ve been there for me. I haven’t exactly made it through life unscathed. I don’t know what I’ll do if those personal things about me are…publicized. Do you think you can protect me through that?”
“I will.” He promised me.
“We need to work out the terms of our agreement, Landon. We need to talk about it more clearly.” I stated my words firm. All I wanted was to get out of this ordeal with our friendship intact and no one getting hurt.
Landon got up from his chair and sat down on the piano bench beside me. I had to scoot over a little bit to make space for him. “What do you want?” He asked.
I thought about it. “I don’t know, exactly, what we’re doing. We’re getting married. I don’t know exactly why. I mean, after you moved to L.A., we’ve only been seeing each other occasionally and I never expected you to propose something like this. Firstly, I just want to make sure you don’t have any…feelings for me. I know it’s crazy to even consider that someone like you might have feelings for someone like me, but this is something that’s really been bothering me and I would feel really good if I can get enough clarification on this.”
“No.” He said. “I don’t have any romantic feelings for you.”
“Okay.” Despite his clarification, the knot in my chest didn’t loosen. There were more things I needed to clear up. “I have another question, then.” I paused, unsure how to phrase it. I couldn’t even believe that I was having this discussion with Landon, of all people. “When people get married, it’s for a reason. I mean, marriage usually leads to babies. Do you want any?”
I closed my eyes, unable to believe that I had asked Landon that question. When I closed my eyes, I tried to imagine making babies with Landon and I just felt tingly. Not the romantic tingles, but the kind you get when you’re nervous. Realistically, a part of me just felt like I wouldn’t be able to keep up with him. We both knew he was much more experienced in the matter.
“Not if you don’t.” Landon assured me. “We can always adopt…feed your desire to help the world.”
I smiled. “We can adopt.”
“Anything else?” Landon asked, seeming very casual about the whole topic. Of course, he probably had more time to prepare for this whole thing.
“I can't think of anything else.” I admitted. Overall, getting married to Landon didn’t feel so bad, anymore. Lots of people married their best friends, didn’t they? I’d known him forever, after all. We trusted each other. What could go wrong? “Anything you have in mind?”
“I want to tell you something, Bambi.” Landon said, with a small, hesitant smile on his face. “I’ve never had to lie to you. If I sneak out for anything, even if you don’t come with me, you knew about it. You know everything, so it won't be fair to you if I don’t tell you this.”
“Is it important?” I asked, worried.
“Very.” He admitted. “It’s the whole reason why I’ve decided to get married in the first place. It’s a little crazy, though. I don’t think you’ll like it very much.”
I was definitely intrigued by his words, now. “Is it something bad?”
“Depends on how you look at it. According to my mom, everything my publicist suggests is bad. Of course, Tierney is a bit…demanding. I think she’s right on this matter.” He said. I’d met his publicist only once. She was an OCD old woman. Well, she was only forty-something, but she was like the dictator of Coveted Hearts.
“Was marrying me her idea?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He said. “It was.”
“But why? I mean, isn’t being single better for your image?” I wanted to know, now.
“In normal circumstances, maybe.”
I raised an eyebrow, a little alarmed by Landon’s lack of response and recent overabundance in presents. “What’s not normal about these situations?”
“Well,” He cleared his throat. “You know all those crazy things you see in magazines and tabloids about me?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “It’s seriously damaging my image. Tierney think I need to change my image from a party boy to a more committed individual.”
My mind was still having a hard time processing all of this. “Why does she want you to marry me?” Of all people?
“Getting married was her idea.” Landon clarified. “Marrying you was mine.”
“I still don’t get why this is so important.” What impact did marrying me have on Landon’s career? I knew it couldn’t be his decision to start with. I knew lots of celebrities got married.
“Because Bambi,” He pressed. “All those things they printed about me in tabs and shit…It’s mostly true.”
Okay, after the sad finish of Guilty By Association, here's a little something to help you guys recover a bit, lol.
But seriously, this was what I wrote when I realized Guilty By Association was over.
Enjoy!!!
Oh, and if you haven't checked out GBA, please do. It's completely finished, now. Just some editing left.