❝ Worries. Everyone has worries. You might feel a little unhappy when you have them, but it will pass, and soon after you'll feel happiness again. ❞
—Kim Seokjin.
⊱Chapter 50⊰
LET GO
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(Hyejin's POV)
"Does it help?"
I simply nodded to Johnny's question as I start to relax in his arms. That's all I needed today. Comfort.
I just needed someone to say nothing and just be present. For a slight second, I completely forgot the situation I was in. However, reality soon kicked back in when I heard Jungkook's loud voice.
"REALLY?!"
I opened my eyes only to see him standing by the door, his eyes showing nothing but anger. While I wasn't understanding his reaction for the first second, I then remembered what was happening at that particular moment.
Instantly, I pushed myself away from Johnny and cleared my throat.
Johnny, who was once again at the wrong place at the wrong time, straightened up and looked behind him. Before he could even say a word, Jungkook took a step forward.
"You keep your hands off her."
His tone was dry and harsh. It was as if I was non-existent as his eyes focused on my friend. I gulped.
"Look man, this is not what you think. I just wanted to comfort her." He explained himself yet his choice of words might not have been ideal at that moment.
"WHAT" Jungkook raised his voice while taking another step further, giving me my cue to interfere.
"Jungkook." I called him but got nothing. His attention was fully on the other man and for once in my life, the look in his eyes scared me.
"Hey, calm down dude." Johnny tried.
"DON'T—"
"Ok!" I immediately stepped in, placing myself in between the two. I looked over my shoulder and sighed. "Johnny, I'm sorry.. I'll need to talk to him in private if you don't mind."
Again, silence.
I turned around only to see the boys having some sort of a gazing battle. When it didn't surprise me coming from Jungkook and his awful jealousy, I was taken aback by Johnny's attitude. He wasn't letting go this time. It wasn't like him.
"Johnny?" I called.
With his eyes still on Jungkook, he replied, "You shouldn't be going through all that Hyejin."
Now I was really surprised. Johnny is always so calm that seeing this part of him; manly and serious, was quite shocking. He would usually step out of any conflicts, walking away when he's asked to, yet there he was.
And I agreed. I really shouldn't be going through that but it was out of my control. Again.
"What do you mean by that?!" Jungkook started loosing patience, bringing me back to reality.
I placed my hand on Johnny's shoulder and nodded towards the door, "I got this. Don't worry."
Finally, he shifted and looked down at me. His tensed expression slightly washed away and he nodded. With one last look at Jungkook, he left us.
And there I was again. In a situation I shouldn't be in.
"So while I have to deal with bullshits you go to another man's arms?! How fucked up is that?!" Jungkook began, not taking breaks, "And you act cute to him?! Touching him and everything?! Ha."
The scoff ending his sentence made me gasp. He's talking about dealing with bullshits as if I wasn't part of that.
"Excuse me?" I tried so hard to stay calm but I could feel my teeth tightening.
"I've been looking for you! I was worried!"
"Ok then let's just speak calmly-"
"And where do I find you?" He scoffed again, "Alone with another man? Hugging him? Letting him touch you?"
"You don't have the right to doubt me when you made another woman pregnant !" I retorted.
"DO YOU THINK I COULD CONTROL THAT ?!"
"OF COURSE YOU COULD OF! NEVER HEARD OF CONDOMS?!" I yelled back, my nails digging into the palms of my hands.
"WE WEREN'T EVEN BACK TOGETHER SO WHY WOULD THAT BE A PROBLEM?!"
My eyes and mouth widened at his response. I couldn't believe he just said that. While I wanted to respond so badly, I also remembered that he was right.
We were not together. He had all the rights to do whatever he wanted with his girlfriend. It's their lives after all. I wasn't part of that.
I turned silent. I tried to come up with words yet my mind and heart completely went blank.
Jungkook watched me and it only took him a second before guilt replaced his previous facial expression. "I- I didn't mean that.."
He started reaching for me but I automatically took a step back. I cleared my throat and offered him a smile unwillingly.
"No you're right."
"No bab—"
"You're right. That shouldn't be a problem. It's normal for you to have sex with your girlfriend and I just happen to come at the wrong time and—"
"No, I haven't even touched her in weeks—"
"Please listen to me," I breathed out, "You have to deal with it. You know me. I won't accept you leaving her if she's pregnant so I will take a step back."
"Please.." His voice lowered, slightly breaking.
Just hearing him so weak broke my heart but I somehow came to a decision during this whole moment when I left them there. Even if it hurt me to say that, I had to stick to it.
"After all these years and experiences, I can safely say that I will always love you. But this is something we can't ignore this time Jungkook. This is too important so I'll say it.."
"Don't." He reached for my hands.
"We are—"
Before I could finish my sentence, Jungkook crashed his lips on mine. His hands held my face and I could feel he didn't want to let go.
He made it so hard.
He kissed me so passionately yet softly it hurt. It hurt because I knew it was the last time and I'm sure he did too.
I could feel his tears rolling down his cheeks and sliding onto mine. I felt overwhelmed. I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to push him away.
But I had to.
With all my might, I placed my hand on his chest and gently pushed him. When I finally got a glimpse at his face again, I knew I had to fight myself to say those words.
I bit the inside of my cheeks so hard that the taste of blood invaded my mouth. I took in a deep breath and stared at him,
"We are over."
And the expression on his face dropped. The few tears that came out of his eyes now turned into waterfalls. He started getting agitated.
"No you can't. I've lost you already and I can't let you go again!" He pulled me into his arms, holding me oh-so tightly.
"You're making it hard.." I quietly sobbed. "Please, if you really care about me, let me go. I can't go through this again. I-.. I really can't Jungkook."
By the sound of my shaky voice, Jungkook slowly broke apart. He knew what I've been through because of him in the past. He knew I was strong but this was pushing my limit.
I could see on his face that he agreed yet he couldn't let go. His arms were still around my body. I had to to help him.
I reached for his hands and brought it back to his sides before cupping his cheek.
"I-I love you."
"I l-love you too.." He whispered under his breath and I gathered all my energy to let go of him.
Without taking a look back, I left the secret balcony.
—
I walked, almost ran, to the Attending lounge and to my greatest luck, my brother was sitting there.
"Oh Jinie, you're here! How was your meeting with Suho?" He asked before getting a clear view of my face,
"Hyejin?"
And I bursted into tears. It was uncontrollable. It kept coming out and I cried and cried.
Jin rushed to my position and locked the door behind me before pulling me into a warm embrace.
"It's ok.. You're ok.." He gently rubbed the back of my head while resting his chin on top of it.
• — ••• — •
A/N: I hope you enjoyed today's chapter! I gotta admit, my heart skipped a few beats while writing it.
The next ones will give out answers, I promise.
You guys take care of yourselves!
Be safe and healthy always.
I love you♥️
PL.