High school started up after a fun-filled summer of excitement and adventures. Things started off great. Yeosang and I had 4 classes together, and I had already made a couple upperclassmen friends. But unfortunately things didn't stay great.
Towards the end of September, a junior year football player named Lucas asked Brooke to Homecoming. Brooke knew that we were all supposed to go to Homecoming together as friends, so she asked Yeosang and I for our advice and permission. We told her it was ok, and that we could all still go together but that was our mistake.
She told Lucas yes and he spent homecoming with us. He wouldn't let her take pictures with us, and wouldn't join our group photo. He didn't really talk to us much, only to Brooke. Yeosang and I just danced and did our own thing for the night. I started to have a bad feeling about him but I pushed it away.
They started dating the day after and for awhile everything was ok. Brooke was happy with him and fell in love. Lucas was a sweetheart to her at first. But as the months went by, Yeosang and I started seeing less of Brooke. We started to get worried about her. One day Lucas came up to Yeosang and told him to stay away from Brooke from now on.
Yeosang told me and I became furious. He had told me to stay out of it no matter how mad I was but I was stupid and didn't listen. The next day, I went to Brooke, who immediately started pleading with me to make Yeosang listen to whatever Lucas had said. It was then that I noticed the bruises on my best friends body.
I remember asking her if Lucas had been hitting her and she lashed out at me.
Brooke pulled down her sleeves and crossed her arms. "Stay out of it, Sena! It's not your business! Just tell Yeosang to listen to Lucas and leave me alone!" Brooke screamed.
I had watched my best friend run away and didn't do anything to stop her, because I was scared to get yelled at again. I didn't know what else to say or do to help her. I went to find Yeosang with silent tears running down my face. I remember finding him sitting against his locker. I walked over and sat down next to him, laying my head on his shoulder.
"What are we gonna do, Sena?" He asked.
"I don't know, Sang. Brooke won't listen to me, she wants me to stay out of it. She said to warn you and tell you to do what Lucas says." I recapped.
"He actually just left. A few minutes before you came." Yeosang revealed.
"What happened? What did he say to you?" I panicked.
"He told me to stay away from Brooke again because I'm a bad influence on her and he doesn't feel comfortable with me around blah blah blah." Yeosang mocked.
"What else did he say? Please Yeo, it's important." I pleaded, growing anxious.
"It doesn't matter anymore, Sena." Yeosang sided.
"Yes it does, Yeosang!" I scolded, my voice wavering slightly.
"But why, Sena?!" Yeosang questioned.
"Because Brooke has bruises on her arms from Lucas and I need to know what he told you and if it's threatening so I can - or we can - talk to her parents about it!"
By the end of that, I remember sobbing into his shoulder. Watching her struggle and not accept our help was the hardest thing. Yeosang and I did end up talking to her parents about the situation, but they claimed that they didn't have the money to deal with a situation like that. They didn't even try. They just abandoned their own daughter. I lost all respect for them after that.
Yeosang and I left that house after I threw a fit and screamed at Brooke's parents. He gave me that look he always gave me when I messed up. But I didn't care, they deserved to know how I felt about their careless parenting. Yeosang was always better at controlling his anger than I was. I loved that about him, how he would stay calm no matter how mad I became. It took a lot to make him show his anger and lord I never want to see that again.
Sophomore year, I made a mistake and started dating one of his guy friends. I didn't think it would bother him that much, but I was so wrong. He stayed in his room for a whole week and avoided me at school. I ended up getting frustrated so I walked to his house to apologize.
His mom told me that he didn't want to see me but she let me in anyways. Yeosang's mom was like my second mother and she knew how much her son needed me. She told me that day that she was very glad that I was so persistent and that her son was very lucky to have someone like me even if he didn't know it yet. I thanked her and headed up to Yeosang's room. The way his face changed when I opened the door because he thought I was his mom will never not hurt me. I knew I had fucked up.
'That's ok. He's just upset right now. He doesn't hate you Sena.'
He was on his bed trying to do his homework. Obviously he was failing. He always failed to think when I was close to him. I should have realized what that meant sooner.
"Yeosang, can we please talk?" I asked.
"Not right now Sena, I'm doing my math homework." He said without looking up.
'Typical Sangie, always hiding and running away from his problems'
"Please Yeosang, I didn't know it would hurt you like this."
"I don't want anything to do with you right now, so you're wasting your time." Cam snapped.
'Ok, why is he being such a huge jerk right now?'
He was trying to isolate himself but I refused to give up on him.
"Yeosang I-"
"OH MY GOD SENA I SAID NOT NOW! YOU SLEPT WITH MY BEST FRIEND WHEN YOU KNEW IT WOULD UPSET ME. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU RIGHT NOW, PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Yeosang finally lost it.
'Slept with him?!'
"What?! I didn't sleep with Seonghwa! We just went on a date, Yeosang!" I exclaimed.
"That's not what Hwa said! He came to me bragging about how great of a night you guys had!" He said quietly.
"Yeosang he meant the night of our date! Not anything else!"
"NO HE DIDN'T SENA! HE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF YOU BECAUSE HE KNOWS I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU!" Yeosang realized what he had said and went silent.
"You.....you like me?!" I was stunned.
"It doesn't matter anymore." he looked away.
"Yes it does, I-"
"No, it doesn't. Now please leave me alone."
"Yeosang, you can't just push me away like this. It won't solve anything." I sighed.
"I asked you to leave!" He said coldly.
I turned and started to walk out. My vision had gone blurry, but I didn't want to let him see me cry.
"Just so you know, I don't like him. Not like that. Not like I like you," I paused, "see you later, Yeosang."
"What? Sena-" I didn't hear the rest. I reached the sidewalk outside and let the tears fall.
I was embarrassed for myself. I had just lost my closest best friend and now I was alone. Although I suppose I deserved it.
'I can't take all this, it's not supposed to be like this. Sena, why did you have to go and mess up everything?'
I fell into a deep hole after that. I hung out and talked to some of my other friends but it wasn't the same. I felt lost without him, but I was scared to tell him or talk to him at all. I told myself that he didn't need me.
He was miserable as well, but he never said anything. He didn't know how to process what I had said before I walked out that day.
Sometime after that I started feeling sick. I lost my appetite and didn't have the energy to do anything. My parents took me to the hospital after I collapsed in the hallway one night. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong, implying that it was probably caused by stress and depression. If only they would have looked into it more instead of pushing it aside.
I stayed in online schooling for the rest of that year, too afraid that something might happen if I went back to regular school.
Yeosang and Brooke were not informed of this incident or why I didn't come back. And maybe if I had told them, things would have been different but I was still in a rough place with Yeosang and Brooke was distant ever since the Lucas situation.
Life was lonely without my best friends. I kept in touch with Minjee but I missed my other two thirds of my soul. They left such an impact on my life that I wasn't sure I could live much longer without them. I think my mother suspected that too because she called Yeosang's mom and told her how I was suffering.
I remember Yeosang racing to my house the next day, so worried about me and that it would be too late. I was staring at my ceiling meaninglessly when he burst into my room, out of breath with tears running down his face.
He broke down the minute he saw me, and in that moment I knew how much he feared losing me.
"Will you talk to me now?" I asked softly.
He sat on the bed next to me.
"Sena, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that, I was just so angry and-"
I put my hand on his. "It's ok, I understand." I smiled.
He smiled back before thinking for a second. "Do you remember what I told you when we first met?"
"Yes," I said, "I remember pretty much everything you tell me. I take what you say to heart, Sangie." I loved listening to him and his wise words.
"Why? Are you taking it back now?" I half teased him.
"No. Never. I meant what I said." Yeosang stated.
He laid next to me on the bed. "I'm sorry I assumed you and Seonghwa slept together and that I overreacted. I'm just not used to having to share you, and I didn't like it."
My stomach did a backflip. "Yeosang, I said it's ok, really." I assured him.
He was quiet again. "Do you still feel like you're alone here?"
I thought back, to the times at school when they left me alone because they were off talking about "private stuff": Yes, I did, but that was awhile ago. Did I still now? I wasn't sure.
"I used to before everything happened, and when we were fighting, but now I'm not sure. Why?" I replied.
"Because I hate that you feel that way because of me. I want to try my best not to do that to you anymore. Because....because I....I...I really like you. And I don't want you to feel unwanted any longer. I've liked you since the day you moved here. I wanted to start off right and take things slow, but I can't hold my feelings in anymore. I'm head over heels for you, Sena." He confessed.
"I meant what I promised to you on the sidewalk that day, I will marry you when we're older. But for now, will you be my girlfriend?"
In that moment, I lost my ability to process words.
I giggled. "Yes I will."
There was no way to explain how happy I was that day. No matter what had happened or what would happen, I always remembered that day. October 28th, the day Yeosang changed my view of that small town life. We spent the remainder of the evening in my room, talking and play fighting with each other. Eventually, his parents - who knew exactly what had happened - called him home to eat dinner.