WUXIAN accompanied JIANG WANYIN to Lotus Pier after discharge. WANGJI walked alongside him the whole time but WUXIAN didn't even spare a glance at him. This time he wasn't going to forgive WANGJI so easy. As WUXIAN was about to ride the car fetching him to Lotus Pier, WANGJI held on his palm.
"Honey Bunny, take care...."
WUXIAN flung his palm away and went and stood beside WANYIN...
"Gege, ask him to stay away from me and not to bother about me.......I know he's concerned about his baby, but I can't promise anything. "
WUXIAN said and went inside the car. He sat facing other side. WANGJI sighed. WANYIN patted his shoulder, in assurance.....
"Don't worry. We will take care of him. And the babies too."
WANGJI nodded. They drove off. WANGJI inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. He felt his chest tightened. He had to make WUXIAN understand, by any means..... He could not risk otherwise this time. Not only for the sake of their babies, but because he knew his HoneyBunny too well. His Fear and Anger were shadowing his real feelings.
In every aspect, WUXIAN & WANGJI were totally opposite from each other, except in one. They both let other temporary loud feelings shadow their deep real permanent feelings of inner heart, and end up regretting later. If he failed this time to convey his Bunny, the real emotions of his heart, he would end up loosing both his children and him. And, he didn't want that at any cost.
Wanna give life, wanna give heart
Wanna give my all concentration to
you Only you
Decorate dreams, loose myself
In two orbs, I go to sleep taking
you Only you
In spite of knowing, your eyes keep quite.
Everyday as if two drops more likeness occur
In song, in journey of love, in every aspect,again and again,I just want
you Only you
The day I could express myself in your ears
Embrace you tightly in the midst of my chest
I will keep Longing at your path
no matter how much you delay
can't be forgotten anymore in this lifetime,
you only you
When you smile, my lips smile
When you come, 100s of fireflies lit up
I keep you secured in my love
Tell me how else to convey, that I love you
Gathering all letters and imaginations
Colours mixes in rough noon
And with that colour I paint you
Tell me how else to convey, that I love you
WANGJI started driving towards airport. He needed to talk to Him. Tell Him everything, before he meet WUXIAN. Tell Him his heart's content. Tell Him everything that's in his heart. Because, he needed to confess to someone, and noone was better than Him.
HIM. PATRICK JANE.
WANGJI waited impatiently at the airport entrance for JANE. And then he saw him. And exhaled deeply. As if he had been holding that for a long time. Holding his breathe, his patience, his tensions, worries, guilt for just too long. And somehow JANE'S arrival made him release them as an exhale. As JANE'S his presence itself provided that solace to him. Deeply calming him.
PATRICK JANE smirked seeing him and patted his shoulders on closer arrival. His pat relaxed WANGJI. PATRICK pulled him closer, embracing his shoulders by his long arms.
"Everything will be ok. Kiddo. Relax. Hmmnn!!! "
WANGJI nodded.
WUXIAN was in deep thoughts, rather deep turmoil. He caressed his stomach. A life residing in there, breathing in, wholly depending on him. That life knew no one else, recognized no one else, trusted no one else but him. And, what was he doing? Trying to terminate it? Wasn't that sin? But then.......then....... Won't the society, lebel him freak, lebel that kid freak. Bully it. No, no, no....... WANGJI would protect him.....and the baby.....But then didn't WANGJI himself hid truth from him, despite knowing the truth!!! Didn't that mean he was as much ashamed of the truth?
Tears rolled down his cheeks. He was confused, ashamed and scared. And his heart and mind just wanted to rush to his Bobcat and break in his arms, in his embrace. Wanted him to pat his back, caress him and say that everything would be all right. He would make everything all right. He wanted Bobcat to take him in his protection and warmth. Hid him away from everyone.......
But his ego wouldn't let. He was hurt, deeply hurt. He thought there were no secrets between them. No wall, no veil, only trust but seemed it was as fake as the reflection on a mirror, which broke to pieces with just one blow. Yes, he was hurt, deeply hurt. WANGJI still had secrets kept from him, and more so, secrets involving him. He knew, but he never cared to share. He was aware but he never thought to discuss. Why?
Probably, because he was ashamed of it. Or probably because he thought, what's the big deal? WUXIAN would comply to his every order, and if he would order him to suffer for 9 months and give birth, WUXIAN would just nod his head and say...
'Yes, WANGJI, as per your wish!!' Was that what he thought!!! What everybody thought!!! Just because he was being nice and compromising with them!!!! Everyone had always taken him for granted. Insulting him, betraying him. Commanding him around as per their wish.
Without thinking about the repercussions of their actions on him, they simply kept acting out of their own will. Intimidating him, ruling him. But now all that would change. Now his life would solely be his. He would be it's owner. Nobody was going to force him follow their way. Comply their command. And it will be his decision, his last say on this pregnancy. He will show LAN WANGJI that his will, his decision mattered. If he didn't want him back, he didn't care anymore. But he won't let them treat him as granted anymore. He would lead a life on his own term by himself.... He needed nobody.
Fresh tears rolled down, but not of sadness and longing but determination and aggression. He wanted some kind of justice, his heart yearned for some kind of retribution, satisfaction and pay back. From everyone. From WANGJI. And WANGJI'S baby gonna pay for his action. He didn't even realize his anger was leading him to being the destroyer of his own life. Because, once the baby was gone, he would never be able to forgive himself.
Because unlike some he wasn't strong hearted. He wasn't that determined. He couldn't even avenge his parents by hurting WANGJI, and here he was thinking of hurting WANGJI'S baby, that was his baby too, for ego satisfaction. The hurt, the fear, the anger was taking a total destructive turn. Destructive to himself. Because, he wasn't cold enough type, to bring havoc on an innocent life and remain guilt free. Or move on uneffected. He wasn't LAN WANGJI.
"I don't know how things escalated to this. I confess, I am at fault but I don't know how to clean up the mess. I...... I really love bunny and no matter what, I can't live without him. I was just enraged when he said to terminate the preg. I just threatened him, so that he gets scared and stopped to think about it all. But it all took a total different turn and now he's adamant on terminating the pregnancy. Plzz, help me, help him. I can't afford to loose my everything, for a silly mistake of mine...."
WANGJI sobbed. His lifelong calm, cold, posture had said goodbye a long time ago. He seldom cried, hell, he cried only twice in his life and this was third time. And this time he was sobbing loud, because he could see everything getting ruined forever. Stoic face, Azured eyed, Poker faced Bobcat had a quick funeral, and instead was a Hyperventilating, Choking, Shaking, Scared Lion Cub WANGJI, who didn't know what to do, where to go!!!
His fault was he took everything as business deals, even relationships. He treated them in gain and loss scales, but everything aren't business. Everything didn't depend on gain and loss. Relationships aren't business. Manipulation, control, lurings, can work to a limit but once exposed they transform to a sharp knife, cutting off all ties, trusts and dependency.
All along WANGJI thought, as long as he can provide for every comfort, every wish, every need, his relationships will flow steadily. But comfort, needs, and wishes aren't
the only things life depended on or relationship got maintained on.... Compassion, understanding, acknowledgement, trust, appreciation and sometimes even compromise are essential part in a relationship. Otherwise, their lack can sometimes flood the ties with overwhelming feeling of disappointment, feeling of being left out and destroy everything.
And, that's exactly what was happening to the couple right now. There was a time, WUXIAN compromised, remained submissive to WANGJI'S every demand. But WANGJI never was grateful, he just took it for granted, boosting his ego. And today WANGJI was ready to compromise, be submissive but it was too late. WUXIAN was tied of being always intimidated and ruled over, forced to do according to him. And that not only threatened to destroy their marriage but kill their babies too.
WANGJI had understood the situation clearly, the severity, gravity of the situation. But now all was out of his hands. If only instead of forcing and threatening, he had handled the situation with patience and compassion. Understanding and care. But too late. He was too late. WUXIAN has taken a very wrong turn, a route of stubborn, pride, ego and darkness, that had filled his heart. He was tired of being nice to everyone and getting hurt in return. He was now in a strong will to hurt others, and that started with WANGJI.
PATRICK sighed. TERESA LISBON, who had accompanied him to his trip to China, immediately rushed to WANGJI, gave him a glass of water. WANGJI drank it and was still sniffing. She hugged him like her little brother. She had two clueless, immature, brothers at home, just like him, always in trouble for their reckless behavior. And well!! Then there was Jane, PATRICK JANE, as reckless as ever. So, she understood WANGJI too well. She, from a very young age had taken her brother's mother's place, brought them up and still kept them under her wing. She was greatly sympathetic with WANGJI.
Jane on the other hand, understood WANGJI too well. He had a dark past too. His small mistake, cause the ruthless murder of his ex wife and only daughter. Destroying everything.
"Wangji, take a hold on yourself. Let me meet and talk to wuxian. Am sure everything will be back on track. Time and patience can almost solve all issues and heal a heart to great deals. So, keep faith. Ok!!! "
WANGJI nodded. He took his leave. LISBON smiled.
"He reminds me of my young brothers. Always finding trouble for themselves and the breaking down in my arms.... "
"Really, I thought he reminds you of past me. "
"Well his reckless behavior does, but unlike him you my hubby, won't ever confess you were at fault. Unlike given another more profitable deal. Then you could even fall on your knees. "
"Wow, that's your impression of me... and you still married me. "
"Well, come to think of it. That was the only time you really fell on your knees and begged me to stay back, and confessed your love from heart. Without deal, without thinking of profit, or that annoying 'I don't care' attitude of yours. That gave me hope, that there's still hope for you afterall. "
JISBON smiled.
Next day Jane went to talk to WUXIAN. After the initial formal introduction with the family, they went to meet WUXIAN. WUXIAN was sitting near the lotus pond, sulking and not at all in a pleasant mood.
As it was, he was sick due to his pregnancy. And on the top, everyone were constantly on his back, advising, trying to give him a piece of their brain, reprimanding, pleading, persuasion, begging........
.........all except WANYIN. He didn't say anything, just complied and stayed beside. Whenever WUXIAN was scared, got nightmare and begged him to be with him for some time, he complied silently.
And, that didn't go unnoticed from JISBON'S sharp eyes.
[JISBON: JANE & LISBON]
Both smiled.
"Who's that? "
LISBON asked Jane.
"His ex lover, Jiang Wanyin. Or more like ex lover slash guardian slash spoiler slash protector slash most reliable person for him after his husband or may be before. Kind of him and kiddo lion (WANGJI) hold the same position in reliability, in the eyes of Cheery Bunny (WUXIAN) but he's more mature and can predict him like open book. "
[KIDDO LION REFERED TO WANGJI]
[CHERRY BUNNY TO WUXIAN]
JANE answered. LISBON nodded.
"So......that's why that assuring look and condition less support. He got no wife or husband of his own!?? "
"Yep, he's the husband of kiddo lion's cousin sister. WEN QING... JIANG WEN QING...."
"So, she doesn't mind?!! "
LISBON was astonished. JANE smiled.
"Nope. She trusts them. Actually, she doesn't trust her husband as much she trusts Cheery Bunny. She's preg too. "
"Hmmnn. Sounds like me......."
TERESA grinned. Jane smirked.
"Yep, you don't get jealous at all, honey......!!!"
TERESA rolled her eyes on his sarcasm. She again became serious, on seeing WUXIAN.
"So !?! Bunny seems very upset. I don't think explaining gonna work. "
"Yeah, but with that bunny, reverse psychology gonna do miracle. "
JANE smiled.
"You think?!! "
LISBON enquired.
"I bet!?! "
"K(ok) . Let's proceed. "
Both of them came to sit near WUXIAN. WUXIAN looked at JANE.
"If you are here to persuade me..."
"About what? "
JANE asked indifferently.
"You...... You don't know? "
WUXIAN hesitantly asked. JANE raised his brow.
"I should know? "
JANE questioned back. WUXIAN shook his head.
"Nothing. Who's she? "
"Oh. Meet Mrs. Teresa Jane Lisbon. My amazingly beautiful wife..... "
"Wow. She's actually very beautiful. Hi. Am Wei Wuxian, I mean Lan Wuxian. Actually, no..... Wei Wuxian... "
"Soooo........ You are in doubt? "
JANE asked. WUXIAN again sulked. TERESA mouthed a 'shut up, don't play with him' to JANE. And turned back to a sulking WUXIAN.
"I heard from Jane, your so called husband is very handsome. "
WUXIAN'S face lit up.
"Yes. Very. Bobcat is very handsome. You know so many girls die on him. Hehehe. But he loves me.........or loved me..... "
His cheerfulness turned to Sulking again...... He was feeling instant mood swings. The current situation, hormonal effects of the pregnancy, the fear and sadness everything were making him confused, anxious and depressed, letting his moods spiral out of control....
"Why? You two fought? "
TERESA JANE LISBON asked. WUXIAN took a deep breath.
"He lied to me."
"He lied to you about what? "
TERESA asked.
"Actually he kept things hidden from me, and.........now things have become complicated..... "
"Then sort it out..... "
JANE suggested.
"No. I won't. This time, it's either he complies to my will, or it's over forever..... "
"Ooooo, sounds very serious stuff.... "
JANE said. TERESA hit him on the arm and gestured to not make it worse.
"Didn't you say Mr. Jane, to stop behaving like a kid, to stop giving free hands to others to control my life, to be strong and decisive.......!!! So, I have taken my life's decision this time. Am not gonna comply with Wangji's desires. This time it will be what I want. Not him..... "
"And, what decision is that.... !!!!"
"To get the abortion.... "
"Abortion!?!!?...... You preggy? Are you sure........(smirks) I mean you realise you are a man......!!!"
WUXIAN'S hands immediately went protectively to his tummy, caressing it. As if by cue. JISBON noticed it. WUXIAN'S hesitation. JANE smiled softly but didn't showed that to WUXIAN. To WUXIAN, he simply smirked and asked...
"Wuxian, I think there has been some confusion. A man can't get pregnant..."
"I can......and so can Chen gege...... "
"Your cousin from Australia. The sanren boy..... "
WUXIAN nodded. JANE started laughing. TERESA looked at him with wide eyes. She immediately turned to WUXIAN, who was now crying.
"Mr. Lan Wuxian, don't mind him. He's always likewise. Insensitive. What does he know? It's a really good news. Congrats..... "
JANE had tears in his eyes from laughing.
"I am sorry, but I can't imagine a man preg, with bloated tummy and all that...... It's...... It's......hilarious..... I totally support your decision. First mature decision. Get the abortion done as soon possible.... Or...... Or, you are gonna be Chinese national news headline soon...... "
"JANE!!!!!!! "
TERESA exclaimed.
JANE kept laughing. WUXIAN got up and stormed out of there. TERESA glared at JANE.
"That wasn't funny Jane. Hurting him likewise..... "
"Lis, people are gonna be mean to him. He can't hide for nine months. He might as well get accustomed to it from the known ones. Then, later he can patiently deal with the criticism from the strangers.... "
TERESA sighed.
"So, what's the next plan? "
"You will see... Come. "
"Whenever you say, you will see, I sense trouble... "
"Then you know me well.... "
"Of course, I know you well......... I have known you long enough, to know you well.........am gonna die of hypertension some day cause of you..... "
JANE smirked. They followed WUXIAN. WUXIAN was lying down on bed, with the same sulking face. He got up as soon he saw JANE coming in.
"I don't wanna talk to you. Plz go.... "
"Fine, fine am sorry. But I was supporting you......."
"By mocking and laughing on me....!!!"
"Hey, it was out of blue news. Ok!!!! I didn't expect it. So, it was natural for me to not able to control my reaction. I bet you had somewhat similar reaction, when you first heard it. Shocked, surprised....."
WUXIAN looked down. JANE smirked. He continued.
"So, what does your husband think about it?!!! I bet he wants you to abort it too. I mean....he must have freaked out, right....!! I mean facing the world being a gay is hard enough. And now gay partner is preg in spite of being a male. I can understand his dilemma.... Also, his wish, wanting to dump the baby.... "
WUXIAN confidently looked into JANE'S eyes.
"You are wrong. He's not like you. On the contra (contrary) ...he wanna me deliver this baby. He's very happy about all this."
WUXIAN said proudly.
"Wow....either he's very courageous or very very stupid...... "
JANE said. WUXIAN was more angry now.
"He is very courageous............ & very compassionate person. "
"Really!!! So, what's the prob!!! Youuuuu don't want babies.....!!!!"
WUXIAN suddenly flinched...
"I..... I....... I want babies, but...........but......didn't you just laugh on me? I don't wanna others laugh on me or my baby...... "
JANE nodded.
"I too think the same. I mean people would just bully the baby. Call it weirdo, freak and all kind of name calling, because of having a birth father instead of mother. Tell you what, come with us. Me and Teresa. And, Wanyin would accompany too, of course. I think an early abortion is better. Later, it could cause complications. And, making it an excuse, LAN WANGJI may persuade you his way, to keep the baby.... "
JANE said.
"Ab.......abortion.... Now? "
WUXIAN asked wide eyed.
"When else? I mean you sure you wanna do it right!!! Then why delay!!! The sooner the better. Right? "
"Bu... But??? "
"We will call WANGJI too. I will talk to him. Don't worry..... After all, he's the another father, and his signature of consent will be needed.... Come on.... "
WUXIAN looked at TERESA. TERESA looked down.
"O.... K... "
WUXIAN stuttered and got up and went with JANE.
"Mr. Wanyin, we are taking him for the abortion. I think you should come too."
"Hmmmm."
WANYIN said. Whole JIANG family was sitting there. They all looked at WUXIAN with sad eyes. WUXIAN looked down to avert their pleading look. JIANG WEN QING came forward.
"Brother in law, don't do it please.... "
WUXIAN just kept looking down. JANE looked sternly at JIANG WEN QING.
"Come on!!! It's his life. He has a right to decide..... Everyone's not same. And we should respect everyone's wish.... Come on, bunny. Let's go. "
WUXIAN slowly followed Jane, with downcast eyes. But he could feel the stares of everyone.
They reached hospital. WANGJI was already there waiting for them. He sternly glared at WUXIAN, with gaze piercing his soul. WUXIAN at first looked down, but then he looked Back, Adamant, Stubborn.
As soon as WUXIAN looked back with stubborn eyes, WANGJI'S stern look turned to hurt look. He sighed.
"I have signed the consent papers. I......... I.......have no......... "
WANGJI gulped the hot lump in his throat, not able to say anything further. Tears rolled down his eyes.
Suddenly, WUXIAN'S all confident look turned to hesitant look. Watching the teared eyes of WANGJI, the painful expression on his face, WUXIAN started doubting his action, his decision.
"Ok..... Thank you WANGJI. Come on, WUXIAN. Get changed. Your procedure will start right now. "
JANE said. WUXIAN slowly started following JANE. He looked back at WANGJI, but WANGJI just wipped his face and went off. He sat on one of the waiting bench outside OT (operating theatre). More like collapsed on the bench.
WUXIAN slowly went inside the OT room. He was trembling now. Watching all those machinery, made his inside shiver.
With trembling hands he changed. And laid down, quietly.... The doctor came.
"Ok. Mr. LAN. First, we would do an ultrasound, to check the current status of your baby. And then start procedure of abortion. Are you ready........?"
WUXIAN was breathing heavily....
"Yes."
To be continued.....