THE NEXT MORNING
It was so hard for me to grasp what had happened last night between Kevin and I. It's like i felt ashamed but deep down i had no regrets whatsoever. Something about this just felt so...i don't know...right ?
Kevin dropped me home and we both went about our business. We didn't bring up anything from the previous night at all. everything was still completely normal between us both. After we both departed, i walked in the house to freshen up. As i stood in front of my full body mirror in my bedroom, i gently rubbed my skin as flashbacks of last night flooded my brain. A smile took over my face.
Walking away from the mirror, i trip over a piece of clothing that laid on the floor near Jalen's side of the bed. "Jesus! Why can't he ever clean up after himself !" i mumble after nearly hitting the floor. I bend down to pick up whatever it was and then i noticed that the item i had picked up was neither Jalen's nor was it mine. "What the fuck ?"
No...maybe it's somebody else's that may have gotten mixed up with our clothes in the laundry when Jalen took it to the mat while we got our new machines installed. I drove down to the mat to return the clothing item. On my in, i heard Kelly's voice. I stopped walking just so she wouldn't notice me. I was in no mood for her and her bullshit.
"So back to what i was saying about Kevin.." she says. I immediately put my phone on vibrate so that it wouldn't go off and draw attention to me. I stood there and listened. Yeah i know. What i coincidence that I sleep with her man the night before and now i'm ease dropping on her conversation because i heard his name. Pathetic right ?
"You know i'm just sticking with him right now so he can buy me things for the baby. I don't really care about him even though he's like.. a good person.... or whatever. The point is..he'll make sure the baby and I get nice things !" She uttered to whomever she spoke with on the phone. Was this bitch for real ?! Her words irritated the hell out of me.
"Can you let you in a little secret Marie ?" She asked. She then scoffed off the most disturbing news I've heard in a long time. "The baby isn't even Kevin's !" she says laughing lawlessly.
WHAT>>>>THE>>>FUCK !?!?
I ran out of the room quickly and jumped in my car. I forgot all about what i actually went there for. I couldn't believe her sorry ass. That BITCH ! I need to tell Kevin and i need to tell him fast. I need to tell him what i over heard, but only lord knows when the next time i'll run into him will be. would he even believe me if i did tell him ? Oh what am i saying ?? of course he will ! he doesn't even believe it's his kid !
I decided to do what i do best, vent to my journal until i could come to a decision.
"Dear journal,
It's been a while since i last wrote in here, but i'm still here. lately I've felt like there's been so much dishonesty around me. I've been on an extremely emotional roller coaster due to dealing with all the things i can't control in any of my relationships. Through it all, i still feel like i'm learning how to be honest with myself. I'm trying so hard to let go of control and to just see what happens. Hopefully i learn sooner rather then later. Goodbye. "
Shortly after writing, I got an email from my new Boss at my new job telling me to come in. I don't know why in the world i needed to come in because i was definitely told today was my day off. But of course... i got dressed and headed out anyways.
YOUR JOB
"Hey Y/N !" Cassie shouted, greeting me as i walked in. That caught me by surprise because she was usually upset every time i saw her, although we were friends. "Wowww..you're in a good mood for the first time in forever !" i say to her. She laughs and replies with, "Oh you know, lately I've been working on just letting go of things and working on myself. " What a slap in the face.
"Really ? letting go of what ?" i ask. "Just things i can't control in general." she replied. crazy right. What a coincidence. "Oh..Okay...um " i said meekly.
"Sorry, i got caught up in reading something someone posted." she said giggling. "It cool..i'm happy for you." i said to her. "Thanks girl ! I wish you good love and peace with your life as well. But before you go, i have someone i want to introduce you to. He came in here earlier with a the new office contractor and maintenance man and he was so hot ! Josey has been trying to convince him to work here all day. she's back there showing him around. If i'm not wrong he might be in your quarters. You can just show him the rest of the way." she blabbed.
"uhuh ..great !" i said flashing a fake smile. "I had him wait in your office room thinga majig.. hope you don't mind.. " she stated. "Nope ..not at all...guess i'll go introduce myself. " i said. I walk off and head straight back into my office. To my surprise...
"What are doing in here ?!" i exclaimed, shocked as ever. "Your office ?" he asked me. "Yeah big head, my office...so what you're following me now ?" i ask, hoping he knew i was playing. Good thing he laughed it off. "Please." he said.
"Your little boss Josey has been trying to get me to work here all day. I've been here for at least 3 hours...." he said rolling his eyes. "And to my surprise...you work here." he said folding his arms. "No way !...what a damn coincidence !" i say holding my face. "Mhmm...a big one." he mumbles.
"Shoot go ahead and apply ! You know you want to see my beautiful face everyday anyway. " i jokingly teased. We both laugh at my stupidity. "How's the "tour" going anyway. ?" i ask him.
"To be honest...your boss is hella weird...annndddd i over heard a few of your coworkers talking about what they'd do to me if i'd let them." his face glowed as he laughed. I laughed right along with him. "Crazy !" i say. "They're your peoples." he says in response. "NOT !" i reply.
"I feel like if it ever even crossed my mind to work here...none of your friends would try to actually get to know me...they'd only want to get to know what's in my pants." he stated. My mind began to wander back to last night. "Besides....i'd only be a distraction to you anyways." he said stepping closer to me. My face burned with embarrassment ! "You wish you could distract a girl like me." i respond, without giving him any eye contact. "You and i both know... i can...just like i did before.." he tells me. "Or did you forget already ?" i refused to answer him. Not even that..I couldn't answer him ! My body went straight into shock after hearing his words.
He steps a little bit closer to me. "What ?...am i making you nervous ?" he asks in a seductive like voice. As he looked down at me, i started to look at him."I-.." i whisper. "Or is it that you don't want your friends getting to know me ?" he asks, getting closer. I look down at the ground again, but he raises my face up by my chin, slowly, and says "I don't know about you..but i'm in the mood for a lil quickie right now. " He spoke so softly when he said it.
"You're Thinking Too Much, Stop It" By Xxxtentacion
Masking my intentions, With these false pretenses.
Masking my intentions, With these false pretenses.
With these false pretenses.
Blue for beauty. Masking my intentions.
"I-..i don't.." i mumble. "You don't what ?" he says backing me up to my desk. Oh my gosh ! it's going to happen again ! Not here ! i thought. "Kevin.." i say in a very low tone as his hands slid up my pencil skirt. My breathing picks up FAST ! He caresses my inner thigh so gently, making his way up my panties. Although my mind was telling me no..my body was telling me yes ! He started kissing me in the process of lifting me up and sitting me down on the desk. I tugged on his ripped jeans as he pulled my panties off of me with ease.
"Wait..The door." i whisper while unbuttoning his pants and taking it out. "Forget it.." he whispers back, pulling me off of the desk.
Kevin made it so hard for me to say no to him. Believe me when i say nothing he did was forced. I definitely wanted everything he brought to the table. It's like he had me trapped under a spell. Kevin cleared half my desk and turned me around, bending me over the desk. "If you manage to stay quiet...we won't be interrupted." he said while pulling up my skirt. I nodded my head and said "mhm." very quietly. I felt the head of his penis connect with my opening. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as he entered himself inside of me.
Who the nigga that you with girl, yeah
He don't do you like this girl, yeah
And I put 30 on the underage drinking
That you doing so I want it like this girl, yeah
I grabbed a hold of the desk corners as his hands gripped my waist and upper shoulder. "sssss...mmmm..." i moaned in a very low tone in attempt to prevent myself from making loud noises. I bit my lip to make it easier on myself. He made it easier also by keeping control of his limit to roughness in order to keep me quiet.
In the bed with your hair tied, yeah
What you hear about me, all lies, uh
I'm the one that get you wetter eat the pussy like whenever Shawty really need to ease up
I couldn't get enough of this feeling. It was addicting for me to have only had it one time before now. He had me wanting for more.
I said A Bay like i'm hurricane
I need two cups of that remedy
That pussy done for, you feeling done for
'Cause I beat it good and you stuck on it
His strokes got more and more intense. His grinding caused my hips to knock against the desk and things started to fall off. I was over come by my hormones and started to get a little louder with my moans.
Dick stroke when I confront it
Sex talk make your legs shake
Eat it good so what's heartbreak?
All you think about is that pussy feel
"uughhh !" i let out. I didn't scream but it was much louder than me previous moans. Kevin covered my mouth and said "Mm mm." to tell me to keep quiet. I struggled to do so. I don't know why he thought i'd be able to do stay silent. He knew i couldn't.
I mean damn, I'm like damn
Just wanna touch you bae, it's like damn
I mean damn, I'm like damn
Just wanna touch you girl, it's like damn
I moaned under his hand. He opened my legs a bit more and kept going. "Mmmmm" i mumble. I turn my head to the side as He hovers over me and i pull his face down and close to mine. He moves his hand from my mouth and moves it down to my jaws.
I'm like damn, I'm like damn
Just wanna touch you girl, it's like damn
Just wanna fuck you girl, it's like damn
I wanna eat you girl, it's like damn, uh
I let go of the part of the desk in which i held onto and i held onto the back of his head. I kiss him aggressively. He lets go of my face and pulls my hand away from his head and pins it down on the desk without breaking the kiss or pausing mid stroke. In fact, he went in harder with his strokes and squeezed my waist hard. I eventually broke the kiss when i wasn't able to keep myself from moaning. Surprisingly no one came in and busted us mid act. We went on for a good 45 minutes before i had reached my climax. Once i did the first time, he stopped. I'm pretty sure if he kept going we would've gotten caught.
It's better to switch up, you feel me?
You know who I'm rocking with
When I stay the night
Stay the night, and I stay on your mind
You know who I'm rocking with
It's all game
 Kevin pulled out and helped raise me up from the desk. We both fixed ourselves. I swear as soon as we wiped off with hot rags and he put his friend back up and i put back on my panties and fixed my hair and desk.. BOOM ! In Runs my boss.
"HEY Y/N HAVE YOU !?... Kevin quickly steps back away from me as i stand up straight against the desk. Luckily she was staring at her phone when she walked in...otherwise she would have seen us. I fixed my clothes as she talked to me. "YES YES ! Oh good ! you two have met ! now convince to work here, we could use his face to attract customers you know !" Josey says, usher bumping Kevin and winking at me.
"That right there is what you call perfect timing." Kevin said. I tucked my hair behind my ear and laughed along with him. "Right." i replied. Josey continued to talk on and on.
"Come come darling let me finish giving you the tour !" she says, grabbing Kevin arm and rushing out of the door.
Shit ! That was a REAL close one.
LATER THAT DAY
I ended up running right back into Kevin. Well really he ran back into me. I had NO idea as to why he was still here.
"Can you find a way to distract your boss for me please ? she won't let me leave. " Kevin whined, walking back over to my desk. I laughed so hard at his whining. "Why are you still here ?" i ask giggling. He looked beyond irritated but it was so cute. "What is she doing to you now ?" i asked, still laughing at him. "She's trying to make me take measurements of your damn bathroom for whatever remodel it is that you need." he answered, leaning back against my wall. "Need my help ?" i teased. He squinted his eyes at me. "Don't play with me Y/N." It was hilarious, i couldn't stop laughing.
"This is all so funny to you isn't it ?" he asks, approaching my desk. "Uh huh "I say. He places his hands on my desk and hovers over my face. "I.. meant to say uh uh. " i quickly blurted out. He examined my face for a bit. I gulped real hard while staring back at him. "Mhmm.." he mumbles.
I stand up leaning in toward his face. "Well......these measurements aren't going to record themselves." i whisper to him. "Oh so you got jokes right now ?" he says, grabbing my neck. Damn i loved being man handled now, thanks to him. "Don't get ya ass beat in this lil office of yours." he grunts.
"Try it ." i whisper back. i could see the lust in his eyes just as much and he could probably hear it in my voice. "Well well well...look who wants to be taken advantage of..again." he says, smirking at me.
"I said no such thing !" i blurt out in a high pitch voice, punching him in his chest. "Right...you weren't thinking it either ." he states sarcastically, raising an eyebrow and tightening his jaw. I TRIED SO HARD TO HIDE MY SMILE BUT I COULDN'T.
"Exactly ." he says. "shut up..." i say rolling my eyes and throwing a pencil at him.
Suddenly i remember what it was that i wanted to tell him. Deep down i didn't want to say anything but something kept telling me to speak up. "Um..kevin.." i utter. "wassup ?" he says.
"I need to tell you something." i respond. "Oh yeah ? speak your mind then." He's been way more happy these past two days since we've been hanging out. I didn't want to ruin it, but what if i didn't have another chance to say something ?
"There's probably never going to be another chance that i get to tell you this but...i um..I-." I choked up on my words. "Spit it out girl." he said trying not to laugh at me. I got all teary eyed because i was scared to say something.
Kevin noticed and stood up and walked near to me. Holding my hand in his, he asked me if i was okay. That's when i spoke again. "I um...over heard Kelly on the phone this morning. She was talking to someone named Marie about her pregnancy......and...um..about you." i informed him. "Okay...what did she say ?" he asked. "She said...she said....she said that you wren't the father of the baby !" i said turning around so that i couldn't see his face.
Kevin didn't speak for a good 2 minutes. I felt his hand pull me towards him. "I know.." shocked that that came out of his mouth , i spun around quick. "Huh ?" i ask, confused, But then it all came back to me. "What did i tell you when we went out to eat with Kelly and jalen ? Do you remember ?" At this point i felt air headed. "yeah i...i remember." i mumble. "Yeah ? What did i say to you before you suggested to help put my mind at ease ?" he asked, pulling me in closer as he sat on my desk. "You said, and i quote, "That baby isn't mine, i haven't touched that damn girl in months." you squeezed that glass of Bacardi to tight that i thought it would shatter in you hands." i said. "Mhmm. " he said. "I always had the feeling..but... i'm still pissed... She lied to me. She's been using me from the start." he said angrily.
"Kevin i'm so sorry i didn't mean to upset you, please forget that i brought this up." i pleaded, holding onto his face. He looked me dead in my eyes. "Nah..don't be. I'm glad you told me. I value your honesty Y/N." I felt like such a terrible person for ruining his day if it hadn't been ruined already. "Now if you'll excuse me..i need to go clear my head. I'll check in with you later." he said removing my hand from his face. "Of course...i'll do the same." i said to him before he left.
Great.....now look what I've done.
LATER THAT EVENING
I was now getting off of work and i was walking out into the parking lot. A few feet away from the door, stood Kevin, leaning against his car. I stop walking. "You're still here.." i say to him.
"Uh huh." he replies. "I um..thought you went home after we uh...last spoke." i said sheepishly rubbing my neck. I tried to make light of his mood just in case he was still upset. "Or did you stick around because everyone in this building is madly in love with you ?" i ask, dazzling my hands.
He chuckles lightly. "Yeah no..although i don't mind the whispers from your lady friends." he joked. I giggled at his remark. "But all jokes aside... i just don't feel like going home. I don't know what i might do if i step foot in that door and she's still there." he said, looking elsewhere. I walked closer to him and i gently rubbed his back. "She's been blowing up my phone all day...so i turned it off." he continued. "It's just crazy how people do you when you do everything for them." and he laughs. "Shit i wanted to leave her way before now....but knowing that that kid isn't mine...nothings in the way of me doing what i gotta do." he says, exhaling deeply and leaning back on the hood of his car with his arms behind his head.
I sit beside him. "Need a distraction ? Because i do." i say to him, looking out into the sunset. "Jalen has been picking petty fights with me all day...so i put his messages on mute. Little does he know...I found the clothing of another women in the bedroom. I tried to convince myself that someones clothes got mixed up in ours when we used to go to the mat but...deep down i knew i was playing myself for a fool." i lean back just a little, placing my hands behind me on his car. "I know that doesn't help your situation but i guess what i'm just trying to imply is that....You aren't alone right now. regardless of who's situation is worse." i say looking down at him. "Shit as far as i concern i don't want to go home either." i said before we both started laughing.
I took my heels off and sat up on the car more and then laid down right next to him. We both stared at the beautiful sky as it darkened. "Honestly..." he staggered. "Honestly what ?" i ask, lifting my head up and leaning over his face with one hand on his chest. He looks at me and says, "If was to put a baby in someone...It would've been you." once again he had a devilish smirk on his face that gave off nothing but sexual energy. My body weakened after hearing those words escape his mouth. Recaps of when he mistakenly had sex took over my current thoughts.
* SHORT RECAP*
Every time i rose my head up, his tongue reached an unreachable spot and caused me to throw my head back and my back to arch. I gripped the sheets tightly. "KEVINNN...slo- slow downnnn..just waittt." i cried out
His back muscles were very much defined right now as he held on tight to my ankles, making sure that i didn't close my legs on him while he went down on me. His upper shoulders caved in as he ate me up and slurped here and there.
"FUCKKK !" i scream. I don't why but when he entered himself, it hurt so bad. "UGHHH !! Kevinnn it hurtsssss!" i whimper, underneath him. He never stopped stroking. He just smashed his lips unto mine to silence my whimpers all while spreading my legs open wider to get not only a better access, but to prevent hurting me more than he already was. I dug and scratched away at his back as he fucked me senseless.
"Fastterrr !!!..harderrrr !!!..YESSS !!! UGHHHHHHHH !!!"
"YESS DADDY YESSSS...UGHHHHHH !!!" i cry out again.I felt like a completely different person as i took in every bit of what Kevin was giving to me. He rams into me harder with no remorse, tugging on my hair even more. "AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!" My lungs start to collapse as i watch Kevin destroy me with my head bent backwards. I felt it again. I knew i was about to Cum all over him and the bed spread.
*SNAPS BACK TO REALITY*
He left me speechless. All i could do was stare at him and imagine what it would be like, fucking him right here on top of his car. My impulses were taking over. "Cat got your tongue ?" he says, grinning at me. *My thoughts : No but you're about to.*.....but of course i didn't say that out loud.
I giggle. "You are by far the cockiest person I've ever met. " i say turning back over. "Cocky ? no. Honest ? yes. Sexy ? oh please Y/N, don't flatter me." he teased. We both laughed after i elbowed him. "I hate you ." i throw out in a joking manner.
We lay there in silence still staring up at the sky as some of my coworkers left the building. "I've really lost a lot of myself since i met that girl." he says. I felt the same way he did. "I could attest to that." i reply. "I really feel like i'd lose my shit if i stayed with her any longer." he said. His voice deepened. I know deep down he was hurt but being the type of person he was...he wasn't going to show that.
"You know what ?" i say. Kevin looks over at me. "Neither of us is going home right now." I exclaim. "Oh yeah ? and why not ?" he asks, raising an eyebrow at me with a smile grin. "Becauseeeee....we're going out tonight !" i playfully say while squeezing his face.
"Word ? What you got in mind ? " he asks me. "I don't know yet, how about ice skating ?" i say.
He sits up. "You dead ass right now ?" he asks, giggling. "So dead ass..I've never been." i reply. "Mannnn...you gotta be shitting me. i'll bust my ass tryna ice skate. " he drags, laughing hard.
"Y/N ! good your're still here ! " my boss calls out. " Ughh Fuck meee..." i mumble, rolling my eyes while turning around slowly as she approached Kevin and I. "Hey josey wassup." I exclaim. Yeah I now that was very fake of me, but don't you dare judge me...she's my boss after all. Kevin starts laughing the moment i greeted her. "I need you to go over these stack of papers tonight so that we can get started on the interviewing tomorrow !" she says, handing over a folder to me. "But josey I-" i said, trying to explain to her that i had plans. "No buts ! you'll be doing me a great favor ! Tata ! I OWE YOU ONEEEE!" she shouts running to her car with a box of donuts.
WOW. I hate my life. Kevin nudges me. "Looks like you'll be ice skating home tonight." he mocks. "Why can't i ever get a break ?" i whine hopping off of his car and putting back on my shoes. Kevin chuckles at my whining and hops off next. He hugs me and tells me he see me tomorrow.
We both get in our cars and drive away.
AT THE HOUSE
Walking up to my front door i remembered something. "Oh shit i almost forgot !" i texted my boss, asking her to tell the new maintenance man that the bathroom on the main floor of the building had already been remodeled and didn't need measurements. I shoot her one last text, but i said it out loud as i typed. "Oh and if Kevin decides to come in tomorrow, he'll be hanging out with me since we already know each other." Little did i know, Kelly was standing right outside and heard what i said.
I walk in, take my shower, and get settled in. Jalen was already in bed and asleep, surprisingly. As i laid there, my phone wouldn't stop going off. "Who the fuck is texting me so damn late." i whisper, so that jalen wouldn't complain.
I look at my phone. "What the hell ? How the hell did she get my number ?" i say.
TEXT MESSAGES
Unknown : Hey girl, It's kelly ! Wanna go to the nail salon with me tomorrow ?? 💗
REALITY
Why the hell does Kelly want to hang out with me for ? We aren't even friends. I don't want to go anywhere with her.....but if i say no then she might suspect something.
so i text back.
"Sureeeeee sounds like fun i guess." But something was telling me to have a back up plan. so text the girls.
TEXT MESSAGES
Me: So tell me why Kevin's girl (kelly) texts me randomly just to invite me to some nail salon with her....🙄
Me: I need you two to come with me...this has to be a set up. 😬
Christy : Ummmm what ?? hell yeah of course !
Maeve: Weird as hell but I'm there !💅ðŸ½
REALITY
I never told the girls what had happened the night of the party. I couldn't. I shut off my phone and laid there staring at the ceiling. Hopefully tomorrow plays out well.