(KYLIN'S THOUGHTS ON THE PAST)
Yes...
I'm an awkward individual to most because I've always walked in my own lane.
Even still...
My weirdness never stopped guys from seeking my attention while I unsuccessfully fought to remain fortified in the midst of some pretty charming fellas. My biggest problem with abstaining from the sins of this world stems from the fact that I am a woman with feelings and whatnot.
I tried to remember what I was taught at home and in church, but my body acted like it had the worst case of amnesia.
The few experiences I had with your typical jerk face were pretty horrible if I do say so myself.
Yes...
I knew they were faking interest in me with one and only one reason in mind. With my hard-headed self, I didn't allow the obvious warnings to deter me from making mistakes.
Did I consider the obvious?
No.
Does he like what I like?
No.
He couldn't give a red hot ding dong about my innocence.
Bingo.
This seemingly amazing guy appears to know and understand me on a deeper level.
But...
Because I had a hard time associating that attention with anything real or meaningful, of course, I had an even more difficult time reciprocating those feelings of interest back.
My first kiss ever started a raging battle with my inner self against temptation. It was accompanied by a real sense of fear and apprehension pressing me to get away from that guy. My body warned me to stay as far away from those who had the power to persuade me to do otherwise.
Once again, let's face it, I'm a woman who felt a little lost and vulnerable.
At times, when I knew I was in danger, I heard the scripture warning me... "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"
I was reminded that if I allowed myself to stay around a man who was trying to convince me to do things that were against my Christian beliefs, I would find myself falling away from Christ into darkness.
In truth, I fell a couple of times. I was tempted and I dated guys who didn't have the slightest background in the Christian Faith.
Being the fixer that I am, I believed it was a chance to win someone over to Christ. Unfortunately for me, I found myself so far out there--away from my upbringing--that I felt the need to stay far away and hide my sins from my family until I finished my college studies.
I had no desire for them to see the person I had become.
So, on the day that my sights fell on the eye-catching ebony muse as he perused through the store without a care, I found myself running in the opposite direction. What I learned from my past mistakes was to give my thoughts about any man to God and if he was meant for me, it would happen.
Let's just say, most guys faded into the distance never to be seen or heard from again and I was fine with that.
Not only am I nobody's fool, but I also learned from the mistakes I made early on. That was of course until I saw Tyson Beckford's older more distinguished-looking brother's cell number written on that piece of paper.
♡♡♡
(THE PAST)
CALL HIM OR NOT
Kylin's reflections on past bad relationships occupied her thoughts as she'd waited a couple of hours before placing the call.
Honestly, she had no desire to appear a little too desperate like some chick who hadn't been out on a date in nearly two years.
Of course...
That's actually who she was. Kylin was indeed the chick who hadn't dated in two years, and she wasn't upset about making the decision to focus on school without allowing any disruptions to grab her attention. Honestly, anyone who had a problem with that had her permission to just freaking grow up.
A quick glance at the number as it lit up the screen left her to battle a long drawn-out fight with herself. Kylin considered if it would even be a good idea to pursue what was most likely going to fail.
She finally managed to convince herself to drop the whole doggone thing and walk away since she had no need for any type of relationship drama.
Most of the guys Kylin met in college or out in the community were intimidated by her goal to become a car dealership franchisee. They often insisted that she was overly ambitious and it made no sense to chase a dream which in their limited opinions would never likely come to fruition.
There was nothing more unappealing to the young woman than a man who envisioned her in the kitchen, barefoot, and pregnant for the rest of her life.
She desired to have a family and had no problem with cooking or cleaning, but her concerns drew her mind back to the highly successful women she'd met and came to admire from her college days.
Many of those ladies were single or in nontraditional relationships. They'd made huge personal sacrifices to build their empires, and honestly, Kylin was prepared to do the same.
Men who had no desire to see her accomplish my goals were a colossal turn-off. Kylin ran from them as if they had the plague because she was fixated on conquering the world and that required that she have a partner in crime, not a ball and chain.
♡♡♡
(THE PAST)
THE BUSINESSWOMAN
Kylin maintained a full-time job as a secretary for a financial advisor during the final thirteen months of her college years. As she completed her Master's Degree in Business Finance, she learned how to file all of the necessary paperwork required to sell cars in a small capacity.
Using everything she'd learned from her mentors to open a small used car lot, Kylin focused on branding herself professionally by creating a trusting used car business that provided reliable vehicles to anyone who met the requirements to purchase them.
She increased her personal credit score which made it possible for her to establish in-house financing. This opened up more opportunities for people whose credit was less than desirable for the major dealers and banks.
Kylin worked closely with a credit repair organization to provide her customers with a fiscal pathway to a perfect credit score. With a three-pronged approach, she led each of them to financial freedom.
The Christian spirit that encouraged her to fix other people's problems was a welcome work to these individuals, but it was something the guys she'd once dated seemed to find that it was difficult for them to comprehend.
After dealing with such closed-minded individuals, Kylin decided it was best for her mental and professional sanity to fly solo. She was no longer interested in pacifying the insecurities of people who wanted to remain in their bad choices, including her ex-boyfriends.
It was in those moments along with more recent tear-filled nights that Kylin came to the decision to stop trying to fix everyone. She hired a manager to run her business and focused on overseeing that her motto was executed and understood by each worker and every client.
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As her mind replayed the failures she'd faced with past love interests, Kylin found it was easier to vanquish further ideas of romantic entanglements.
With the thoughts of her past haunting the present, Kylin placed the phone back on the table as she turned to walk away.
Apparently, she wasn't paying close enough attention when her thumb brushed the send button.
The phone rang several times before she could bring herself to touch it again.
"Hello. Hello?"
There it was, again.
That voice was nothing but pure sin.
Kylin moved to take off running before it hit her that she was in her own home. Forced to rethink her move to get out of there, she was completely at a loss for what to say.
"Hello," she whispered.
"You have no idea how glad I am to hear your voice. I'm sure I wouldn't be able to handle your rejection." He chuckled nervously.
Kylin was thoroughly amazed that he would confess to waiting to hear from her.
"Why would you think that?" Her gentle voice once again reached through the line.
"Considering you are a well-respected member in the business community, sweetheart, I didn't think I had a chance. Do you have any idea how many businessmen there are who would love to meet with you? Not only are you beautiful and brilliant, but you are by far one of the most elusive businesspeople around these parts. I was sure the universe showed me favor by placing me in your path," A grin could be heard in his tone.
Even though she had no desire to make a fool of herself by falling for such a smooth talker, it was hard to ignore the little sparks she felt while listening to every syllable that proceeded from him.
♡♡♡
(MONDAY, JUNE 29, 2015)
RELIVING THE PAST
One month flew by in no time at all. When Vonnie had yet to return to her position, Kylin received a call regarding a tragedy that had befallen her co-worker's family.
The office manager pled with Kylin to work for the Yates family until the nurse was able to return to her post.
The original agreement was for her to cover her co-worker's schedule during her vacation until she found out Vonnie's mother suffered a massive heart attack. Although they prayed for the previous nurse's family, the Yates were well-pleased with Kylin's work ethic. Because she meshed well with the family, they encouraged her to stay on.
After she had been with the Yates for two months, Ruthanne and Kylin had formed a bond which was probably why she thought nothing of asking why Kylin had chosen to become a nurse.
The ladies discussed the plans they once made for their younger selves and how life had a way of changing those plans.
Sharing topics surrounding their childhoods, parents, love lives, and just life in general, brought them closer as time went on. Kylin evaded engaging in certain topics with anyone other than Ruthanne such as her family.
No one other than Olivier and the Yates knew the truth about Kylin's adoption.
She shared with Ruthanne the way she'd come to learn about her real mother.
When she returned from school one day, Kylin overheard family members discussing her parentage.
At the age of twelve, her twenty-six and twenty-four-year-old siblings were deep in conversation about the youngest girl. They treated her as if she was a nuisance even when she had done nothing to warrant their wrath.
Evidently, a young woman in the community died from a brain aneurysm leaving a two-year-old with no one to collect her from Child Protective Services. The caseworker fellowshipped with the Matthews family and asked if they would be interested in fostering the toddler.
After several attempts to establish a suitable placement for the youngster, the Matthews family decided they could not allow the darling little angel to grow up in the system or risk something terrible happening to the baby they had come to love, so they applied for guardianship and soon adopted the little girl.
One day, Kylin overheard bits and pieces of the truth from the young ladies she always believed were her older sisters. The two women would later hear from their parents about how disappointed they were for the careless way in which the pre-teen had learned that she wasn't a flesh and blood member of the family.
She shared that her parents worked without ceasing to make up for the way Kylin found out about her true mother.
Much of what Kylin and Ruthanne discussed was typically on a comical note building a sort of camaraderie between the nurse and the patient. Then there were times when they found themselves with tears in their eyes while laughing about crazy moments they'd experienced.
It wasn't until Kylin finally revealed what happened between Olivier and herself that Ruthanne's heart melted for the young nurse solidifying them as close friends and confidants.
♡♡♡
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