Chapter 37
There was nothing that prepared someone for the death of a loved one.
Nothing.
You could see it coming, or try to make peace with the fact that the person would eventually die, but nothing was close to feeling the actual death; of the void that followed when the person was no longer there.
As JJ stood there, wrapped in a hug by his girlfriend of barely a month, surrounded by the rest of the Pogues, he didn't know how to act.
It shocked him, the fact that John B could be gone just like that, lost at sea. Dead.
But it angered him more than it hurt him. He was livid. How could his best friend just leave like that? So suddenly? Didn't he know that JJ needed him?
Didn't he know that apart from India, he was the only one who could actually keep him in check?
Sure, John B had already planned on leaving, but being apart by death and distance were two completely different things.
In JJ's mind, John B was still on his way to Mexico or whatever place he was going, happy that Sarah Cameron and himself were together and happy that in less than a month the Pogues would get to be reunited again.
That reality felt so far away now. That version of the future had cracked into a million pieces and shattered right at JJ's feet.
When his mind began pulsating with a strong headache, the blond boy looked up from India's shoulder, confused about his feelings and emotions.
His gaze shifted from her to Kiara, who was silently crying and then to Pope, who was crying as well, all of them devastated for the loss of their best friend. Their brother.
For JJ, John B was more his blood than his own father.
He took a deep breath, his lungs filling with the humid Outer Banks air. It was still summer, and it meant that the heat was still everywhere. For him, it was suffocating. He struggled to take another breath, his heart skipping a beat as he remembered everything that had happened in the past 24 hours.
Just as he felt himself spiraling, he looked down to the small girl in front of him that was wrapped in his arms so innocently.
Tears brimmed her eyes at the sight before her, emotion washing through her like a wave. The pogues had become the family she'd always wished for.
She stared back up at him, trying to figure out the jumble of emotions hidden behind his eyes, and while JJ loved her, he didn't want her to see how broken and messed up he really was.
India stared at him, her eyes wide and vulnerable. She knew what he was going through. Losing a friend wasn't easy, and she knew how much John B mattered to him.
As he finishes, Pope stands back to look at the job he's done.
The group had gathered near the Chateau. They'd decided that if no one was going to honor John B's death, that they were going to do it themselves.
And that's what they were doing.
It had been Kie's idea. She'd shown up with the torch and the axe, eyes bloodshot and puffy. It hadn't taken much convincing to get the group on board.
They stripped a side of a tree bare, burning John B's name and information.
No one said anything as they looked at the final piece before them, there was nothing that needed to be said anyways.
There was only one goal now. To get revenge. To show the people that it hadn't been John B who'd killed the Sheriff.
JJ's insides raged. Not only had Rafe managed to get away with everything he'd done to India, but now he'd also gotten away with killing someone and blaming his best friend for it.
No, JJ wasn't going to let it slide. He'd fight until he was dead or in jail, whichever one came first.
India knew what JJ was thinking. She knew that look, and it worried her. What he was capable of doing to himself and to others terrified her.
But of course, that didn't mean that she was going to leave him to hang alone, she was with him for the long run, and while she might have been scared, she knew that he was as well.
The couple stands there for what feels like an eternity, staring at John B's grave before India gets an alert on her phone.
She had Sarah's funeral in a few hours, which meant having to meet her parents who'd flown in just for the special occasion.
It stung, knowing that they hadn't come for her, but they hadn't even thought twice about getting on a plane for Ward Cameron.
In a haze, JJ feels as India's hand envelops in his own and drags him away from the chateau, the both of them walking silently in the middle of the day.
The rain from last night had stopped just as it had begun, nothing left in its trail except for the humid smell of grass and the still-wet pavement below them.
It would have been a really nice day if it hadn't been for what happened.
JJ didn't say a word as they walked back towards India's car. In fact, he hadn't said much in the last 24 hours.
The car ride is silent, with not even the radio music to fill the space between them. Neither was in the mood for talking, much less hearing the news about how John B was a murderer.
"Are you alright, J?" India finally asks, breaking the silence as they pull into her house. If she guessed correctly, it would be a couple of hours before her parents arrived.
She stepped out of the car, watching as JJ did the same. He didn't speak. He couldn't. He feared that if he did he'd start crying and never stop.
When he doesn't respond India walks over, reaching out to grab his hand and squeezing reassuringly. She wasn't going to press him. She knew he needed his time to cope and for the events of the past hours to actually sink in.
She hoped that at some point he could speak to her, but if he didn't tell her anything, she was okay with that as well.
"Whatever you need I'll be here, alright?" she continues silently, looking up at her boyfriend.
JJ just nods as they get to the door. India takes out her keys, unlocking the front door before stepping in and giving JJ space to walk through.
The boy didn't know what had gotten into him. He felt so up to the brim with emotions it actually stunned him.
It didn't surprise India though, she knew that it was his best friend after all and that even though he didn't like demonstrating his feelings, it would hit him hard when the severity of everything sunk in.
They walk into the house silently, their steps clicking on the hardwood floors as they enter her room, not bothering to turn on the light.
India watches as JJ walks towards the bed, not bothering to take off his shoes as he lets himself fall into it, burrowing his face on one of the pillows.
The room is silent for a moment, the nearby sound of the waves crashing in the distance filling up the silence. She sighs, pulling off her shoes and taking her hair off her ponytail.
The exhaustion of everything that has happened finally crashes into her, and she finds it almost unable to keep her eyes open as she falls into the bed beside JJ.
It takes her a second for her to realize JJ is crying.
At first, it's small, just the slight movement of his back. She turns to him, worry etched on her face as she reaches out to rub his back. As her hand touched his back, JJ's sobs become harder, until his whole body is shaking.
She sighs, grabbing his shoulder so that he looks up from the pillow. When he does, India's heart breaks into a million pieces.
"Oh, JJ" She whispers, grabbing his head and pulling him into her. He burrows his face into the nook of her neck, not caring about his tears wetting her shirt.
He cries for everything he's lost. He cries for John B. For his father. The reality of his life finally sinks in, and he can't help but be exhausted from having to deal with it all.
At least he had India. At least he had that.
They sit like that for a moment until JJ's sobs finally start to die down. When they do, India pulls away, wiping the stray tears that continue to fall from his eyes.
"I'm going to get you something to eat, alright?" She whispers, running a hand through his hair, starting to pull away completely.
She's about to stand up from the bed when his warm hand latches on her wrist, pulling her back slightly. She turns around, her brow furrowed.
"Stay" His voice comes out raw and hoarse, and it's all India needs for her to know that if she needed, she would stay a hundred years.
She scans his face, trying not to cry as she finally sees everything that he has been hiding underneath for so long. The sorrow, anger, hurt, sadness, everything is etched on his face like a clear picture.
She breathes out sadly, nodding at what he said before going back to the bed and grabbing the comforter, and slipping in beside him.
The watch on her nightstand called out to her, the hours unblinking. She didn't want to think about her parents coming home. About what they might say.
She also hated thinking about where JJ was going to go. Sure, she would sneak him in with no problem, but if something happened there was no way that her parents were going to press charges against him.
India stares up at her ceiling, debating everything as JJ's breathing finally evened out. In the distance, she could hear the faint chirping birds and the occasional passing of a car.
She needed to be strong for him, and even though she had her own struggles that she needed to deal with, everything could be put on pause for him because she knew that he needed it more.
The girl runs her right hand soothingly through JJ's damp hair, trying to lull him to sleep.
The events of today had been a rollercoaster, from fighting Rafe to her fight with her mother to John B. She made a mental note to check on Kie later on after Sarah's funeral.
"I don't know what I'd do without you, Indi. I love you more than you know" JJ's speaking interrupts her thoughts, his voice coming out muffled.
India turns to him, offering a small reassuring smile as she wipes a stray tear that falls from his eye.
"And I don't know what I'd do without you either JJ" she whispers back. It's all JJ needs to hear before he finally lets himself go to sleep, exhaust washing over him like a strong wave.
India watches him, noticing how his breathing starts to even out once again as he finally falls asleep.
It's not long before she falls asleep too.
a/n: HELLOOO LOVEEEEESSSSSS
We're BAAAACKKKKKKKK
So, I don't really have anything planned for this season except a few things, so we'll see how it goes, BUT, I think it's going to be a hell of a ride so latch on!!!!
Comment what you thought about this chapter? I had this in my drafts from almost a year ago and I really wanted to include it before I stepped into the actual storyline and plot.
COMMENT WHAT YOU THOUGHT!!!!