Chapter 13: Buried in Sorrows
The rain had stopped, but the tears were still pouring down when they saw whatever that seemed to be like a mannequin that lay on the wet grass. Ramsey was relieved for a second, until he noticed that Matteo's limbs were at awkward angles; his head was in a way that he could not possibly be sleeping, and his chest remained still. "Matteo!" Penny screamed inside her clasped hands. As she started to run towards the body, Ramsey firmly grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. He raised his gun. With shaking hands, he aimed for Doug's head. This time, he had it in him to shoot. Doug was still crouched near Matteo's lifeless body, while Johnny wasn't in the right state of mind to do anything. It was his first time seeing a gun.
Ramsey couldn't look at his best friend's body, it would be too much for him to handle, but it was inevitable since Doug was still close to him. He steadied his breaths, inhaled, and squeezed the slippery trigger, but a body suddenly pushed the barrel away, making the bullet go deep into the bark of a tree instead. Ramsey cursed under his breath, looking at the person who had disrupted his shot.
Paige let out a scream and Penny gripped Henry's small hand tightly.
To no surprise, it was Emelie. "Don't you ever shoot him!" she exclaimed, gripping the gun's barrel with her trembling hand.
"Emelie, open your bloody eyes," Ramsey said, pointing towards Doug. "You see who he's with? A damn cherno!"
"He's different," Doug corrected, standing up to his feet. "I'm sure of it, he is. He has no bad intentions."
"He's still one of them. An evil entity," Ramsey snapped, pushing Emelie aside. "Stay behind."
Doug folded his soaked coat and put it on top of his arm as he said, "He's one of the lesser evil."
Ramsey shook his head, "Evil is evil." His shotgun was still in his hand.
Doug didn't speak for a moment. Johnny walked up to him cautiously and asked, "What do we do now, Doug?"
"Stay put. You're a threat to them, Johnny. I'm afraid I can't change that."
Ramsey extended his hand out in front of the others when Doug took a step forward. "Don't you dare take another step, you hear?"
"I do," Doug replied, looking at Emelie, who was already looking at him. She stared at him with big, attentive eyes while he stared back with a blank face. Within a full minute, he finally spoke, "I'm taking her with me."
"In hell, you're not!" Ramsey yelled sharply.
"She's not safe with you anymore. None of you are, but she's my only concern."
Emelie's lips parted from each other. She wasn't feeling shivering from the cold anymore.
"No, she's staying with us," Ramsey gave a quick glance at Emelie, who shot a glare at him.
"Why don't you ask her for her consent?" Doug suggested.
Ramsey looked back at Doug, then to Emelie again. Ramsey already knew what Emelie's decision was. She smiled on one side and said, "He doesn't have to ask me twice, Ramsey." With that, she started to walk towards Doug.
"Wait--" Paige went towards her, "Can I. . . Can I come too?" Her eyes fell to her feet, "I don't feel safe as well." She was right. Already one of the members has been killed and she didn't want to think about what happened with Elaine. Trying hard to ignore something that was caught in her throat, she gulped. She was desperate to find safety, and like what she had told Penny before, she didn't want to lose David a second time.
"You're welcome to join," Doug assured, making Paige look at him behind hard, thick strands of her damp hair. He walked towards both of the girls. "What about the others?"
Paige looked back at Penny over her shoulder. Penny was still holding Henry's hand tightly. She bit her lip before she asked him, "What do you think, hun?"
Henry shook his head, "We need to find Elaine first." Although there was something in him, deep down beneath his thick layer of hopefulness, his only source of reassurement, he knew that Elaine was gone.
Penny stroked his damp hair upwards, "If we find her, would you like to join them?"
"I guess," he said with a shrug.
Penny diverted her gaze towards Ramsey, who was snarling since earlier. "What the hell are you guys thinking? We already have a good place to stay in!"
Her eyebrows furrowed when she knew that Ramsey would never want to leave the mall. She also wanted to join Doug and Emelie, but she didn't want to leave anyone else. She kept pushing away the thought constantly circled her mind; the same thought that was in Henry's mind. She feared that her legs would give up on her. She didn't want to think about that, not right now, when she's about to make an important decision. Regretting her decision is the least that she wanted to do. "Ramsey," Penny finally released Henry's hand and walked towards Ramsey, only inches away from her. "There's no point in staying in a good place when our lives are on the line. We have no idea what these chernos are capable of doing. I bet they would come back and kill us all." Ramsey was the type of person who wasn't afraid to speak his mind with every negative thing he could possibly say. Knowing that, Penny was careful of her tone.
Penny was surprised after seeing Ramsey's reaction. She expected he would have a hard head and snap at her, but his broad shoulders dropped in defeat, "What about the cherno that he's with?"
She smiled at him without showing her teeth, "I'm sure Doug isn't mindless. He cares for Emelie, you could see it. I think that the cherno won't even lay a finger on her for that matter," she sighed, hoping that she was right, "Maybe you'll get to know the cherno better, like how you got to know Doug better. At first, you thought of him as a threat--"
"I still do."
Penny rolled her eyes, "Whatever, Ramsey. It's our own decision if we stay or not. Penny, Henry and I will be going. You wouldn't want to be alone now, would you?"
"Well," he scoffed, pushing his shotgun to his side, "What about Elaine?"
Something sharp struck Penny's chest, then there was a short pause.
She closed her eyes tightly. "You and I both know that she's already gone." Tears sprung out of the corner of her eyes. "Please, Ramsey. I can't stay here anymore. I'll keep remembering her." She raised her head and looked up at the sky, trying to hold back her tears.
Ramsey felt for the girl. She was like a mother to Elaine and Henry. It would be hard to cope up with a loss. She didn't want to leave someone in an unpleasant place. When a memory appeared in his mind, he hugged Penny close to him with one arm around her neck. The memory was one of those hidden at the back of his mind, failing to forget it. He had left his pregnant partner before. They were only young at that time, he was scared to tell anyone. He knew his parents would disown him for that and he feared that no one would have his back. A month after, he had found that his partner and his unborn baby had died in a car accident. He wasn't the same after that, no person would be.
When he finally came to his senses, he released Penny, who was still stunned by what Ramsey did. He cleared his throat and walked towards Doug, with Penny and Henry following behind him. "You better be right about the cherno," he grumbled as he walked past him.
Crouching down next to Matteo, his heart dropped to his stomach when he saw how bruised and wounded he was. The sight of a foot dangling off his leg was more than enough to make his stomach churn.
A huge wave of guilt was slowly approaching him. He knew he shouldn't have told the group to split up--Matteo wasn't in favor of that in the beginning. The taste of salt met his tongue. When he realized what it was, he quickly wiped his eyes when he heard Penny approaching from behind.
"I'm so sorry, Ramsey," She rubbed his back gently. "This is all very hard on us." She looked back at Paige, who was holding Henry's shoulders. He was about to go to them, but Penny shook her head. A kid shouldn't see something as horrifying as this.
"Matteo thought about you until his last breath," Doug's voice was heard from behind them.
"He what?" Penny questioned.
"It isn't my position to tell, but I believe that you deserve to know," Doug added, his hands behind his back.
She narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth to ask further, but when she realized, her lips touched each other slowly and her eyes grew wide. Never would she have thought that Matteo would like someone like her. She had always thought that his wife was the only person in his mind. Something moved in her chest.
"I'm Johnny, by the way."
Everyone looked at the cherno who politely reached out his hand, waiting for someone to shake it, but no one did.
"Johnny," Doug started, with a hint of annoyance, "We'll have introductions tomorrow."
They all wanted to watch Ramsey bury his friend that night, but he refused to let anyone stay. He insisted that they all should head back and take a rest. Penny refused the first time she was asked to walk back to the mall with them. It was Paige who comforted her on the way, had it not been for her, Penny would still be looking around for Elaine near the cliff. The trip back was soundless, no one dared to utter a word.
Paige didn't sleep a wink. Her room mate had been crying in bed for over three hours. Her eyelids were weighty, and when she did manage to fall asleep, she still heard Penny's soft whimpers in her dreams. She knew that Penny was a strong woman who could walk through glass and patch herself up after with no trouble, but looking at her now, she was like a grieving mother who had lost a child.
"In all honesty, I thought I would never see you again," Emelie said quietly, smiling at Doug. "I'm glad you came back."
Johnny, Doug, and Emelie all stayed downstairs that night.
Doug ruffled his black hair in frustration, "I deeply apologize, Emelie. We came too late. We would've saved Elaine if we arrived sooner. We didn't even save Matteo."
Emelie frowned at him. "It's okay. You did what you could."
"For you, it is. Penny is in a lather because of me."
"You did what you could," she repeated, "Efforts were made and that's all there is to it."
Johnny cleared his throat, "I apologize too. I was the one who should've saved the child."
"You were already brave enough to fight your own kind. That isn't easy, Johnny," Emelie said to him. Johnny was taken aback. He had never talked to a human before and he expected that they would always be horrified of him, and would even be rude, but Emelie's approach said otherwise.
Emelie moved closer to Doug as she asked, "Where would we go, Doug?"
Doug shrugged. He wasn't sure of anything at this point. Everything seemed wrong to him--so out of place. He wasn't sure if what he was doing was right. Experiencing the world in a human body was harder after all. Sudden events lie ahead with no control.
"Maybe find someplace where there would be a lot of humans?" Johnny suggested, leaning on the wall, still uncomfortable holding his own weight. "It just seems more safe if you're surrounded with a lot of your sort."
"That's not a bad idea, actually," Emelie smiled, trying to lighten up the aura. She looked at Doug, wanting to know what he thinks about it, but he remained silent.
Heads were turned towards the sounds of heavy boots nearing. When Ramsey stepped in, he wiped his wet face and threw the shovel aside, making a sharp, pounding noise that bounced off the walls. They all looked at the man who didn't quite look like himself at the moment. The white of his eyes were red and underneath were apparent, dark circles. His tanned skin had turned pale from the rain and from such misery he had felt when he covered his friend's body with soil.
No one spoke as he made his way through the kitchen. The thudding of his boots continued. When he raised a foot above a step of the stairs, he had to grab the railings to stop himself from collapsing. He closed his eyes as he steadied his feet. Earlier, he had placed himself in the chambers of denial, someplace he put himself in hopes to go along a much easier path, but that path was dissolving--slowly deteriorating. The ignored desire of grieving sneaked behind him quietly, not ignored anymore, then pulled him down a hole in an instant. He had felt the familiar feeling of being lost, but tonight seemed different. When he was lost, there would always be someone who would find him. Now he was lost in the vast land of loneliness that seemed to stretch on and on, very dark and despairing, and quite bare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes, mornings aren't always beautiful. They could show people what they couldn't see at night, what they failed to see in the shadows.
It was unpleasant and upsetting for the human eyes to see a disfractured, lifeless body of a child on the bottom of a cliff, but it was more distressing when it was Penny who had seen her when she came back the next morning. She thought that her tears had already dried up from sobbing all night, but they still managed to squeeze out of her eyes, and eventually poured down like waterfalls. She felt her heart torn out from her body when she saw three entities of black smoke seemingly to fight over the dead body. She watched down in horror for a while. When she could finally get herself back to her feet, she headed back to the mall.
"They're--they're--" Penny bursted inside and was quivering all over. Paige was the first to approach her.
"Penny, what's wrong?"
"The chernos--" she started, but her gaze caught up with Henry, who was playing with his spoon in a bowl of cereal. "Henry," she said, and walked quickly towards him. "I need to tell you something."
"I already know, Penny," he muttered, looking at his untouched cereal.
"Who told you?"
"No one did," he bluntly answered, "I somehow already knew that I won't ever see her again. She wasn't herself when she was ill, but you wouldn't listen."
Henry seemed dull and was as good as dead with his tone of voice. Penny hasn't seen him act this way. Her weary eyes watered once again. She held his small hand and said, "I did listen, Henry."
He shook his head and slowly pulled away from her grasp. "No, you didn't. Don't tell me you did, because all you knew was that she was ill and she was gonna get better, but she didn't. She changed to a different kid, why didn't you see that?" his small voice cracked saying his last sentence. He didn't want to cry, because he knew Elaine wouldn't want him to. "We could've done something."
"Like what?" Penny's voice was shaking.
"I don't know," he sniffed, "But anything other than waiting for her to get better. I told you she wasn't ill--there was something inside of her. I knew that."
Everyone else in the background was quiet, carefully listening.
"It's not your fault, Penny," he said when Penny couldn't respond. He looked at Johnny. "It was the chernos'."
"I would never do that to your friend," Johnny replied, "I tried to save her, I really did. From the inner and deepest part of my heart, I'm sorry."
Henry shook his head, "You're not, because you don't have one."