Summary: The Avengers are introduced to vines. Chaos reigns.
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Peter hadn't meant to say it! It just... slipped.
"Yeet!" was what Peter had said when Thor threw his hammer.
Not intended. Of course.
.
Nah, it had been intended. He had wanted to say it and confusing everyone was just a bonus.
Wanda smiled at him in amusement and said, "Back at it again at Krispy Kreme."
Without missing a beat, Peter started doing flips and proceeded to knock over a pile of training stuff. It was purposefully, of course; he was Spider-Man after all, but the team didn't seem to catch on.
"Oh my God, Peter!" Tony exclaimed.
"Are you alright?" Natasha asked in concern.
"Where does it hurt?" Clint asked him with care.
Then there was Vision. "Mother trucker, dude! That must have hurt like a butt cheek on a stick!"
Silence.
"What?" Steve finally asked. Peter smiled widely.
"I have something to show you. It will change your life." The teen motioned the hundred-year-old man to come over. "Come with me, child."
•××ו
Next time it happened, everyone was shocked to the core. Why?
Well, the Avengers had been fighting over the typical topic of "does pineapple belong on pizza?" when Captain America opened his mouth to speak.
"Fuck this shit I'm out."
Clint gaped. Tony spat his coffee. Natasha raised her eyebrows. Bruce widened his eyes. Thor blinked three times quickly. Sam choked on his chocolate milk. Vision smiled. Wanda smirked.
Bucky just turned to Peter for an explanation. Once again, he smiled.
"Do not fear, I will educate you."
•××ו
It was unexpected. No one would have imagined what happened next.
The Avengers were just chilling in the living room, listening to music and chatting, when the soldier with a metal arm entered the room.
"Hey Bucky, how are you?" Bruce asked politely.
Bucky stared at him blankly for five seconds straight.
"They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine but you can't get into it because they would never understand-"
They stood up and left the room. All of them.
All of them but the one who asked, and he too received a grin.
"Come with me, Bruce. There's someone who can show you a brand new word."
•××ו
It was expected from Peter, Wanda, Vision, Bucky and maybe even Steve, but Bruce?
No one would have ever, in a million years, thought it would happen.
That's why, when Bruce had a thoughtful face, they never guessed he would turn to Tony and say, "You're a billionaire... which means you have enough money for chicken nuggets."
Tony was taken aback by that and, before he could manage to get a word out, Thor spoke.
"Bruce, what the hel are you talking about?"
The scientist turned to his boyfriend with a small smile forming in his lips.
"Oh, Thor. If you come with me, there's still hope for you."
•××ו
After that, the god of thunder went back to Asgard for a little while. But he was excited about his new knowledge...
"That was legitness!" he said when he recounted a story to Loki, who was basically ignoring him. That was until he heard the word his brother used and his interest was picked.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
Thor's smile had never been so big before. "I know someone who will be willing to teach you, brother."
("THOR OH MY GOD THAT'S A MAGICAL CRIMINAL WHO TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD YOU CAN'T JUST BRING HIM-")
•××ו
Thor's return was unusual.
"This bitch empty, YEET!" Loki said as he yeeted his brother by the head from the elevator.
The god of thunder stood up dizzily with a proud smile. "I taught him that on the way here."
The brothers simultaneously turned around and went through the hallway door without looking back, in search of a certain someone who could educate them.
Natasha, tired of it all and frustrated about not understanding, stood up. "Fuck it, I'm coming too."
•××ו
Clint was holding a box of crayons he had bought for his children. The situation was just too ideal.
Natasha fought the temptation, she really did, but Peter came to her and said, "Don't hold back, мама паук."
The ex-assassin tried a little longer before exploding.
"Is that a weed? I'm calling the police!" She headed to the microwave and put 911.
Friday's voice rang out across the room. "911 what's your emergency?"
Tony's confused and horrified face was the next thing they all saw.
"What did you do to my AI?"
Peter smiled a bit more. "Come with me and you'll see."
•××ו
"Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this!" Tony said in fake offense as Clint threw him a banana peel at Mario Kart.
Clint stood up and carefully left the control on the floor while the game was still on.
"I'm going to find out what this is all about. I will."
There was a short silence before the billionaire broke it.
"Peter, I got you a new student!"
•××ו
For some reason, that specific night dinner was awkward and uncomfortable.
Going against his normal behavior, the archer of the team sat in silence and had a thinking face.
Everyone eyed him warily.
"But seriously, why is it Arkansas not pronounced like Kansas?"
Everyone chuckled or smiled. Sam screamed. Peter's smile got wider.
"Uncle Sam? I've got something to show you."
•××ו
"That battle went well! It almost seemed like we had the power of God and anime on our side!" Bucky said as they entered through the door.
"No, it wasn't good."
"Come on, Tony! It was!" Clint said.
There was a brief silence in which Tony started quietly fuming.
"NO IT WAS NOT."
Clint let out a little surprised scream. "Stop! I could've dropped my croissant!"
"No, you stop! In sensitive, Aubrey!" Tony countered. "Everything went wrong!"
"That is not correct," Sam intervened. "Because according to the encyclopedia of ajbdkdnckelwk-"
Loki sighed while looking at the team. "Look at all those chickens." Natasha nodded at his words, but Steve frowned at her
"You better watch out, you better watch out, you better watch out."
Their voices all started raising and at this point they were basically all yelling at each other.
Peter sighed and said quietly, "When there's too much drama at school..."
"All you gotta do is walk awAaAaAy," Wanda finished.
Then they proceeded to walk out of the room with Vision following close behind, refusing to acknowledge the mess they had created.
.
Sorry for the long wait!
I hope you liked it (?