Kanji indeed followed Sesshomaru, she knew the moment she stared into his amber eyes that he was cold at heart, she was nothing but 'hanyo' to him but it confused her at how caring he was toward his two companions. But she found that there were similar traits that the two shared. They never showed expression, maybe for different reason, but all the same they didn't let others see what was going on in their heads. They were both very strong demons and Sesshomaru noticed that she was far much stronger than his younger half brother. She was even more powerful than any full blooded demon which stocked him.
The moment the two walked back to Sesshomaru's companions, he told Kanji that if she were to follow him that she must look after the little human girl, Rin. She accepted, it was the least she could do to repay him for allowing her to follow him. And since then, it had been weeks of walking and sleeping.
Rin told Kanji about the adventures she has had with Jaken and Sesshomaru when the lord himself would dissappear at times, at first she thought Sesshomaru had left them but Rin quickly explained that Lord Sesshomaru would catch the scent of Naraku and follow it, or that maybe he had saw Kagura. Kanji listened well when Rin told her about this Kagura, when the little girl would say her name Kanji found herself growling at the name as though it was death itself.
"Miss Kanji?" Rin asked in a whisper as she, Kanji stared into the fire that was blazing at night.
"Yes Rin?" Kanji looked toward the human girl she had grown fond of waiting for her to continue.
"Will I die one day?" Kanji was shocked by the question but grew still, she knew that Jaken had fallen asleep knowing fully well that the hanyo would look after Rin. But Sesshomaru was well up on the hill behind, listening? Most likely not.
"Why do you ask such a question Rin?" She asked back, she knew how improper it was to answer a question with another question but she had to know why Rin would be so.. upset?
"Master Jaken said that one day I will die and Lord Sesshomaru will forget about me." Her knees were to her chest and her head laid on her knees. She looked so sad, so lost. Kanji stood up looking down at the child.
"Rin, come with me please." Rin nodded quickly and stood up following Kanji as she led them to the river. Both girls sat down besides the river, their feet dangling in the cool water.
"As to your question, Rin. Yes, one day you shall die. There comes a time that everything must die. But as to Sesshomaru forgetting you? I don't think he will. He had saved you, and you yourself told me that he's not nice to anyone. I think Sesshomaru was thankful for the caring act you gave him when he was injured and he cares for you as though you were his pup." Her eyes lit up with happiness as she moved her legs back and forth in the water, making the fish weave through her legs.
"And you Miss Kanji? Will you forget about me?" She might have not known her for more than two weeks, but she felt close to Rin because she had accepted Kanji, she had been nice and accepted her for who she was, not what she was.
Kanji touched the necklace that laid on her neck. Slowly she took it off and moved Rin's hair out of the way, putting it on the young girl.
"My mother had died giving birth to me, she and my father were deeply in love. And before I was born my father got this same necklace for my mother. To keep her safe incase of any attacks that came upon her. She knew she was going to pass away when giving birth to me and so she took the necklace off, she never wanted to cheat death as much as my father wanted to make sure that they were together forever, she knew and understood the balance of life. The pendent that lays on your chest Rin is a rock that will protect you from harm, from death. It was once mine, and now it shall be yours. I will never forget you Rin." The moment she was done with her story Rin threw her arms around Kanji's neck, practically sitting in her lap. Kanji could hear the soft sobs that were coming from Rin and wrapped her own arms around Rin. This was the first time she felt content with her life since her father's passing.
The two stayed like that till Kanji heard Rin's light snores; carefully she lifted Rin up and walked back to the warm fire where Jaken laid still asleep. Sesshomaru was still up on the hill but instead of standing, he was sitting on a bolder. Kanji laid Rin down softly before turning away and making a b line right for Sesshomaru, he sat still with his eyes closed but that didn't fool Kanji.
"Shall you be leaving today Lord Sesshomaru?" She asked looking out toward the night sky. At first he didn't answer her, she thought it was because she was a hanyo and he hates half breeds.
"You didn't have to lie to the girl." Kanji was slightly confused until she understood that he was listening to their whole conversation at the river.
"I was not lying, everything I told her was the truth. I shall not forget her, and the pendent will protect her." Sesshomaru made a small noise showing he was listening to her explanation.
"I will not be leaving today." He said with his eyes still closed. Kanji nodded her head but never moved from her spot. She remembered that when she was Rins age her and her father would stare up at the stars, her father would tell her that one of them was her mother and that she was looking down at her with a proud smile with how she turned out. She only wished it was still true, that her mother was indeed proud of her. For who she had become.
"You may sit with me if you want." She heard Sesshomaru say, she didn't hesitate to sit beside him cross legged enjoying the breeze that flowed through the air as she closed her eyes.
"What is it that you seek Lord Sesshomaru?" She was trying to make some kind of conversation, she wanted to know more about Sesshomaru, he had caught the eye of Kanji and she wouldn't let that go. It took ages for Sesshomaru to answer her that she had thought he had fallen asleep.
"You may call me just Sesshomaru." A small smile played on her lips. She was pleased that she was getting somewhere, even though he never answered her she was still pleased that she was one of the few that were allowed to call him by just his name, no formalities. No titles.
"Thank you Sesshomaru." They sat like that for minutes, listening to the rushing water of the river, the crackle of the fire back were Rin and Jaken were sleeping and noises of the night. It was just peaceful.
"You're welcome... Kanji." Her eyes briefly snapped open in shock and looked at Sesshomaru who was looking at her too. She had just shown Sesshomaru her expressions for the first time and she saw it as a weakness. Even though it was a surprise expression, she never wanted to be seen as weak around him.
The two looked at each other, and Kanji could see clearly that his guard was down. Maybe it was the frustration of not having his father other sword, or maybe it was because of the stress of Naraku, she didn't know but right now his guard was down. He looked, content, at peace. She slightly wondered if this Kagura was the reason for his peace, he had left Rin, Jaken and herself for the whole day and he had come back smelling different. She never understood why she was angry, but she was more angry with his scent change then she had ever been.
"Do you have someone to protect Sesshomaru?" He stiffen under her question, she could sense it. And even though she didn't want to make him mad at her or even uncomfortable around her she wanted to know if he cared, if his ice cold heart did have some soft spots for people.
"Protect? This Sesshomaru has no one to protect." Oh really Sesshomaru? Not even your lovely Kagura? She thought bitterly. She stared at him while his eyes were kept close, but no doubt he knew she was watching him.
"And why is that Sesshomaru? Do you not think that a Lord becomes great by how much he cares? Is that not how your father became a great Lord?" She asked him but she was pinned roughly to the ground, his sharp claws digging into her neck.
"Do not speak of him, he was weak, he cared for a filthy human and look where that got him? Dead, leaving the human with his filthy half blooded hanyo for a son. Power is what makes a great Lord. Not this kindness you speak so highly of." He was no longer the content and at peace man he was only moments ago, he was now a demon with anger. She never made a sound, not a whimper as he squeezed his hand tightly around her neck.
"I apologize mi' Lord. I should not have questioned you." He says the kindness that his father held dearly was his demised. And yet he was the one that saved a human girl from death by a pack of wolves. Was it his secret? Was it his only action of kindness? Was Kagura and Rin the only ones to see the real Sesshomaru? Kanji wanted to know what was under the ice that shield his heart from the love and kindness his father had before his fall. Why is Sesshomaru so afraid to open his eyes, his heart?
"Do not cross me again Hanyo, or I will not be so merciful."Kanji felt his hand leave her neck as he stared down at her in disgust. So now it's back to hanyo.. She was disappointed but she could only blame herself for getting caught up in the moment and trying to fix someone who didn't want to be fix. She had ruined the sliver of acceptance that Sesshomaru was showing her.
Kanji sat up, her hair falling away from her face as she looked up at Sesshomaru. What was it he had, he knew that her father wanted her to know or wanted her to have? She needed to know, but he had already told her he didn't know of what her father was babbling about.
Slowly she rose to her feet walking back to where the adorable human girl laid and the toad demon. She laid down next to Rin and stared up into the night sky, she thought about how Inuyasha and Kagome shared the same love that her father had spoken about, she only wondered if she would find that kind of love.
She knew she would have married Inuyasha if the fight many years ago on the night of their birth turned out differently but now, it was a whole different reality. She wasn't jealous that Kagome had feelings for Inuyasha or that her feelings were returned, she was jealous that they had love. They knew what it felt like, how that person became their life and they would do anything to protect them.
Kanji tilted her head back to the hill where she and Sesshomaru had talked and saw that he was back on the bolder but instead of looking away from the warm blazing fire where they had set up camp, he was facing toward it, looking right at Kanji with an intense look on his face. She took the intense look as though he was still fuming with rage by her words that she looked away but without whispering her good night farewells to him.
"Goodnight Lord Sesshomaru."